So everyone has gone their separate ways for summer…and now I sit here and re-evaluate my life.

So what of my life so far? Work and APO. Humm...that about sums it up. Yes boys and girls…when we leave school, there really isn't much to do besides work. So for all you recent graduates (congratulations by the way ^_^), find something that makes you happy...or at least will suffice till you find something that makes you happy.

Ok...so lets look at work. I know I complain about it all the time...but I think thats just because I always complain about work. Suffice it to say…it passes the time. Otherwise I'd be bored beyond belief. Anyways. I spent about 6 hours working on the school network. I didn't know it took Win 98 three fricken times to reboot...just to load...and I was sitting there for an hour just watching. ARRGG. It actually made me wonder if this career is something I want. I started thinking about other options again...nursing mainly. Who knows? Odd thing is I never really appreciated my work (teaching). I came into work this morning and got a compliment from some students (not my own). They said that the talk around school is that I am the best teacher there. Not to brag…I knew I was popular...but I didn't really pride myself as the best. I think right now its just a case of boredom. I haven't really challenged myself to anything anymore. I need to study some new material that we will be teaching...but right now I just don't care. sad huh. I want to redo this website...studying HTML and stuff...yet I find myself blogging and chatting most of my time away. Look for work...study this...research that...oh man.

Now APO. Wow...it was Fall 1994 when I first joined. I've met and made many friends during that time...throughout the state and beyond. Both my brother and sister are members. I made many of my closest friends due to it. Why do I stay? Well, its about the people. Every year...new people, new experiences. Its like teaching to me. I get so see people come in and become better leaders because of it. It has always been more than just a club. I've seen people come and go, but have never really been distant from them. I stay really involved... a lot more than most. My most recent pleasure was seeing Rho Rho - UC Irvine recharter. I get quite attached. Really. It becomes less about the organization and more about the people. APO has actually been a deciding factor for me in life decisions. Do I move to Virginia/Hawaii for work? What about moving up north? What about Rho Rho -UCI? What about Alpha Delta Theta - UCR?

So in this re-evaluation I come to look at my own goals. The one thing I wanted to do in my life was be a good father. I have lived that tenant in all my dealings and relationships. As a teacher, making sure my students understand what is going on in the subject matter. As a friend, helping my friends in and thru whatever hardships they go thru. I found a career that would keep me financially happy and able to raise a family. Money in the bank, not living paycheck to paycheck, looking for a house, and a new car. What is missing? The most important part.

My soulmate. My partner.

Rather difficult to find this person. Been looking...thought I found it...then it wasn't...still looking...or am I really? I want it to happen...but maybe I just have to let it happen. I realized that I have been sitting around thinking/sulking about it too long. Why not me? When is my turn? What do I have to do?

Now...I just need to find something to do. Something new...take my mind off it. Planning on developing my other skills...maybe take a cooking class, dancing, who knows. I really just have to get off this depressing state. Oh well..we'll just have to see.

"Thank you for curing me of my ridiculous obsession with Love."

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn
Is just to love and be loved in return"

-Christian, Moulin Rouge-