A new start...

Well...I'm not much for New Years Resolutions. If you sincerely believe in change you can do that at anytime,but hey...the new year is a pretty good catalyst. So..let me see what this past year has brought me.

Last year i was working in Westwood. Company pretty good and me getting comfortable since i had been there for a year. Still somewhat active in APO stuff, since we'd just come off the Regionals conference in Long Beach. Was fairly socially active with my friends from OC and SD. If i remember correctly..that December Bday party was one to definately remember. My brother decided to open up to me during regionals about things in his life, especially since we had just reconciled. I had to deal with two close friends that had parted ways. I was frustrated with life at home. I saved a lot...but had to deal with a lot as well. Looking back at the blog, I was writing each day..and actually had a lot of things to say (plus tried to hit the gym each day). I was watching RENT and the Producers...and weekly movies at my cousin's theater. Getting out and going to events...but still without that special someone in my life. It wasn't for lack of trying...but i just didnt' connect with anyone. Questioned on love as a whole...but was re-affirmed by my friend bryan (nov). Actually hung out with Al sometimes. The VAC/AX/PMX group was still somewhat cohesive. The Chomps Sushi crew and 5th Wave was a monthly joy. Christmas time was in the air...music was playing. It was a good year..

This year in review, been quite different. I finally decided to strike out on my own. After much research and saving, bought a house in Monterey Park - across the street from where i grew up. Did it all on my own, with only advice from family and friends... Simply trusted my realtor. Still in a bit of paranoia about not being able to afford it. (i'm freezing at nite cus of the cost to heat up the whole house...especially when its just me). Thank goodness for my aunt's electric blanket.
I'm still with the same company...and its still pretty good...but also been offered twice a new opportunity that seems really good. Just questioning if i want to take another leap of faith again.
Been out of the APO loop for some time now. I still talk to a couple people here and there...but haven't been active at all. Losing contact with al, ed, bren, sharon and all the people i was close to. (ok..not so much bren..since i see him online and we chat almost daily). Stopped my 5 years of AX Security...and joined the PMX team. Didn't really give up on AX since i just wanted to lessen my role (rejoined later in a different department). I started becoming a reculse. Drawing away from the world..and just getting into the routine of going to work..and going home. Didn't see any of my friends...and the only people i talked to were those on my buddy list. Not sure where my brother and I are at...things are just awkward. I'm regaining my sense of family from my move to Monterey Park. Having meals with my aunts and cousins...hearing auntie poyche tell me stories about my mom, my aunts and uncles, and growing up in the philippines. Found love with Karen in july...and getting used to being in a relationship again. Its nice...and things are going well. Becoming a handy man around the house. Had to figure out the fireplace and flip the circuit breaker without calling my dad. It has been nice though working with my dad on various house projects (motion sensor lights). Gaining a new appreciation for everything...and seeing the beauty in simple things.

So..where to now.

A bunch of things i've "said" i wanted to do...maybe its time to just list them. That way i can finally knock them off along the way. I'll have to put these on a seperate webpage and keep them in front of me.

1. Put up my own personal website - (training c/o Clint)
2. Blog and work-out daily again - (starting Jan 1)
3. Learn to cook and eat healthier
4. Get back into community service
5. Make a list of things i want to do, before i die/age. (NY ball drop, NO Marti Gras)
6. Make a list of places I want to go (Carribean, China, Europe)
7. Read more books
8. Finish the house before 1 year anniversary of ownership (May 1)
9. More do it yourself tasks around the house.
10. No more "cheapy" text happy holiday messages. Actually calling up friends and having conversations.
11. Learn more...picking up a new interest.

Ok..thats a start.
Lets see how we go from here...but its already looking good.

-excelsior

Most of the shopping is done now...
Just want to wish everyone a merry christmas and happy new year!

-Ray

Xmas coming...but am i excited?

Hey friends...sitting here in Northampton, Massachusettes and typing on a mac of all things. ewww. Well, I'm out this week "picking up" Karen from school...and flying back home to nice warm California on Wed. Its "ok" out here. Definately colder...but for the most part a quaint little town. Smith college is a nice school...with definately a nice New England feel. Brick buildings and cottage style architecture. The pond and waterfall make a nice touch. I bet its prettier...when the pond isn't so iced over..or the sun shines thru the trees once full of leaves. It also just started snowing tonite..and expected to continue thru tomorrow. Overall, its been a good trip so far. I'm a bit dissappointed since i lost my mp3 player on the way over or something. arrgg..I hate it when i lose things. For the most part...just trying to relax. So..basically sleeping and eating.

Anyways... the topic of this was about xmas. I dont' know...really just not feeling it so far. Its a bit different coming home (this time in MPK)..and not seeing family...especially this time of year. I love the fact the my neighbors are getting the spirit of the season. The lights are really pretty and even my aunt put up her tree. As for me, my house is still a mess. Visions of computer pieces strewn all about the floor. Next year will be better..(so i say). This world has gotten so commercialized...all i see are sales and guarenteed pre-xmas delieveries. I wish this "season of caring" would actually just happen year round for people. Why now..and not in july? I guess its just nice overall...that people care to help out their fellow man.

Personally..i think i just want to sit by the fire with family and actually sing xmas songs this year...while sipping on hot cider or hot chocolate. For now, I think i'll need to load up on the Xmas spirit and watch ELF and "Its a wonderful life".

Arrggg.

Yup..an island i tell you. Where the sun shines 90% of the time (except at nite of course)...temperature a nice 80-90 degrees....white sand beaches...and clear skies. Oh yeah...no need for computers either..Uggg.

Yup..my island dream comes to me again after a late nite of disgusting computer work. Funny too when u figure its my profession...but man..it can be quite the pain in the ass. All i wanted to do was replace my bad CPU...but i had to flash the bios...and in the process somehow damaged my hard drives.

Man..i was at a total loss. My life was on those drives. Hundreds of photos from different events, memories, papers, AX documents, EVERYTHING.

I think i made a back up of my stuff some time ago, so I wasn't feeling it to be a total loss...but at the same time made me think.

Man..how dependant we are on computers/technology for things. At times i just want to step away from it all and just get away.

I've become so reclusive lately that it sucks. Going xmas shopping shows me how detached i am. I walked around the mall for hours and couldn't even think of anythign to get people. Hard thing now a'days is that most of my family friends have money that if they saw somethign they wanted..they get it. Guess no wonder why gift cards are the most popular present this year.

I enjoy my family moments with my auntie poyche, O'Dell family, John and Alexis...waking up sunday mornings and walking across the street to have lunch and actual conversation. Last week we even sat together and watched House of Flying Daggers.

But for the most part...its just me...this laptop at work...and this laptop at home...and phone calls with Karen... make up most of my days.

I mean...its simple...i lost the data on my hard drive...my life....(well..what i considered my life)...and i couldn't even really think what i lost on it besides my photos.


What happens when i "disappear"? will anyone miss me or even realize i'm gone. At times i feel like i'm gone already.


Well...its not like i'm depressed or anything..so don't all start calling or anything. When i think about it, I know i made a significant contribution in my experiences with APO...but nothing lately. I used to do a lot with my family (immediate and extended)...but now seems more like we just co-exist. I think the most fun with my family i had lately was Sam's bday at Speedzone. I tend to occupy myself with so many things, i miss out on the simple things. I remember Summers of Sushi with Bren, Ed, and Sharon...every other thursday. It was a ritual...then 5th Wave for Soju and Cards. i want to so a service project again. I know i've been blessed in life. I want to give something back.

Many things i want...and not things i can put on a list. Mainly...i just want time..and a life....and an island =).

wow..time just seems to fly.
Plus the weather out here just plain sucks. I can't wait till summer comes back.
Only thing saving me are my aunt's electric blanket and late nite phone calls from Karen.

Work has been busy..and the house is still coming together. Time just seems to be disappearing. Still haven't figured out what to do for xmas gifts and stuff..and realize i really dont' want anything personally. I'm pretty happy with all the "things" i have now...just keeping myself busy with life. If anything, probably gift certificates or money =p.

As for gifts for other people, i find myself in the same predicatament. I'm at a loss at what to get people this year. I haven't caught the "holiday" cheer yet. Maybe its cuz i've been too busy. It is nice though...driving home and seeing the houses on my street decorated. I'm thinking i may go ahead and do that next year.

braving it alone...

You know...when it comes down to it...we're born alone into the world. Yeah your mother may have carried you and your father had his role in it too...but our willingness to live and survive is primarily self driven.

I'm thankful for my family and friends that I have made this journey more pleasurable. At times, you really just need to step back and appreciate everything that we are given in life.

Sometimes you find the right person..and decide that you want to be with that person forever...those are special times. Congratulations to Jojo and Dao for finding each other and allowing me to share in your special day. Most of us are still taking our chances to find that certain someone.

I woke up this morning...and it felt a bit colder..and a lot lonelier. That plus not knowing what this Thanksgiving week may bring...forces me to think how solo in life i am or can be....

Time is such an abstract concept.........7 days can seem like forever......we'll just see what the future will hold.

State of the world...

Sometimes....i feel i would be happy just living on an island. Blame it on the melancholy mood i've been in today...but taking a step back to look at things....i wonder if that would be so bad an idea.
I had a nice talk with my dad this past weekend, while we were working on things for the house. He said i think too much...take too many things into play...and that i should just do what I want to do. I tend to think that is what i do...but i am influenced by the people and things around me. We don't live in a vacuum...but sometimes i wish we did.

Anyways..look at today's perspective...and understand my view. Bush is president, but the rest of the world thinks we're the idiots. (ok..they're british..what do they know anyways). I can now shoot an animal over the internet. A monday nite football promo turns into the call to return to family values, memories of janet at the superbowl, prepared "apologies" already set since the value of the publicity this got is way more than ABC could have imagined. Dang..its thursday and they still are talking about it (plus the obligatory Race card reference). BTW...isn't there a war going on? And people, anyone , are still dying...no matter who pulls the trigger.(even aid workers) I think the biggest joke i've ever heard was the "Rules of War"*shakes head*.Ugg.

Then i take a breath..and just look at the day to day accomplishments. I built a 5 shelve bookshelf last nite. I'm getting more stuff done there in general. Plus I'll be taking next week off to try to relax. Jojo's wedding is Saturday, so that should be fun. Karen and I are doing just fine...and i can't wait to see her again. I learned that i am very appreciated at work..and even sought after to work somewhere else.

Well..i'm tired...i'm getting off this soapbox now and heading home.

Humm...blogging..blogging.

its been some time since i've been here...and i'm really starting to wonder why anymore. Well..jojo finally blogged. Soon he will be married to Dao..but still answers to anny =p. Anyways...i just started to wonder why....why blog?

Well..its a journal. Collection of my thoughts and opinions. It used to be an easy way for me to keep people updated...without having to repeat the same story over and over (as well as read up on what people are doing). Looking at my sitemeter...doesn't look like very many people are keeping up with me anyways (i'm to blame. I don't update). I don't think i'm the only freak that checks every blogs daily..even for those that haven't updated in years (Diana =p..ok..not year..but close). So yeah..its a place for me to share what i've been doing.

At times, that seemed pretty boring. Ray wakes up. he gets dressed. He goes to work. He comes home. Jumps on computer again. Maybe calls up some friends. Sleeps. Repeat 5 days a week. Hey..his weekends, may be heading to Norcal, OC, SD, or somewhere.

The other purpose of this blog was also to expand my writing and creative skills. Honestly folks...I think i've been lagging. Swear..work, alcohol, stress, tv...something has been killing my brain cells. I used to dream of flying cars and fighting dragons...and could spin tales of war-battled heros and fairy tale lands. Granted i was no Tolkien, but alfred still remembers "moustache moustache" from one of my yarns.

Geez..this world has become so...so...vast and minimal at the same time. Vast in that I can see what is going on around me (from elections, wars to nick and jessica)....and minimal as to my day to day interactions with Karen, family, coworkers and others. My circle of friends get smaller, as i lose interaction with people. I tend to be less likely to call someonw...but always happy to receive them. Who do i see everyday? My AOL buddy list. =(

I haven't cared much for the outside world lately. I didn't care about voting (till i talked propositions with Karen..then i regretted not voting). Election, smecktion... I can't believe that the two candidates are all the US has to offer for leadership..

Not caring...sad state...but i think i find myself in the apathy of the world today.

Karen has been something new...someone who makes me want to care. Someone who sees me for me. Distance is hard..and i wonder if she begins to tire of me. We share somethign special...I just wish we didn't have to be so far apart.

Its not all roses folks..behind the smile...umm..yeah.

But what are complaints..if you don't do anything about them (drumroll...sounds like ray is on a comeback)

I'm not happy with the state things are in...so how can i change it. I shouldn't have to use a webpage...as a substitute for calling friends. How fucking sad eh? Well...people expect some calls...make some plans....cuz...TV is boring (and i tape all my good shows anyways)...but i'm looking for more out of life than sitting on my ass.

Today was a good example. Woke up to Karen (great way to start the day), planned to do some home improvement, and started with a visit to my aunt. Had a nice talk, then headed t home depot to get some motion lights and other stuff. In order to save cash, hit up the shopping center near the house and raided the 99 and 98 cent stores =p...then finally went home. After eating my one meal today (yeah..that was bad)...called up my dad to see if he wanted to help with some electrical stuff. It was nice...really nice...some quality time with my dad...talking, learning, and getting the lights up. After dinner (ok..guess that was 2 meals..not too bad)...watched ER (on the good shows tape)...and when neil got home...headed out to the local bar for a drink...before heading to Cerritos. Got to see my dog cube (missed him so much after that nintendogs clip) and talk with Mantha and Mila before writing up this blog. Quite a full day. Tomorrow/Today will be disneyland with mantha.

well..i should sleep now. Need to get some rest if i'm gonna start living life more. So..basic update...house good, work good, relationship still going, and life starting up again. Plus..u know its that time of the year again... love and good cheer...elves and stockings. My list will be up soon =p...just playing with it a bit.

Nite =)

Out with the old...
As with much good things, some of them have to come to an end...we celebrate the good times we had. Times change and so do we...but we still remember the past..and what it means to us. Each moment in time...are etched in this thing we call life...and its best to enjoy every second of it as it comes to past...so...in much of this melodramatic mode...i would like to sadly retire things of mine..that have gone on riding into the sunset.

My radio. I was the first in the family to get a CD player..and this would be that system. It was really important in those days to have DUAL cassette..since u need it to copy anything. I used all the money i saved up from holidays, red envelopes, kissing lola, whatever. It was my first major purchase at $199.99. I remember my first CDs were Janet Jackson "Rhythm Nation" and Madonna's "Like a Prayer" (which my cousin Zandy later took). Well..its still sorta worked...till the wires to one speaker burnt..and we tried to fix it. Now..the CDs tend to skip..and teh casing is falling apart. It will likely get replaced (when i need eventually need one) with one that plays mp3s or something...but yeah...you served me well radio (can u believe it was a crappy brand and it lasted soo long. Go sound-design)

Next ones are the shoes that I've been wearing for years now.

Bought at an indoor swap meet. Still fits ok..but feels really soft..and time to decommission.

One of my favorite all purpose shoes. Goes with a lot of things..and sadly just doesnt' fit well anymore.

And sadly..the Kswiss. Its made it thru years of AX and APO conventions. Comfortable..and durable..its finally gotten holy. I have another pair of Kswiss..but they are pristine white..and only come out on special times =p
So...i could only retire them if i picked up some new kicks...so introducing

Yeah..kinda cool... The browns ones i've been looking at for a while..and since I've been changing the wardrobe to that color. The blue ones are more multipurpose. Just need to decide on the color laces for each one. (I've heard that sketchers is actually owned by the former LA Gear people...which explains the multiple laces). Right now I'm thinking Blue laces on teh blue shoes..and brown laces on the brown ones (basically..not using the white laces).Anyways..it was rather cool buying these. I was shopping..realized the salesperson was Filipino so i started talking to him in Tagalog. Well..u know where that led to. =) $10 Discount...so not bad.

Oh how the "mighty" have fallen

I feel I've always been a fan of the underdog. It takes a lot to come from behind and win a truly deserving victory...and its happened twice this year that the underdog has prevailed.

Its started with the Lakers (which i usually hate cuz they are hardly ever the underdogs). After already winning back to back championships (but losing to the Spurs the previous year - yeah!) and having 2 superstars in Shaq and Kobe (superstar?? - cough)...they overpowered their team with Malone and Payton. Guaranteed ring supposedly...esp for malone who deserves it..and payton..well..he's been there long enough. (sorry..still hating on payton at least...malone i've grown to appreciate a lil better). But what happened?...well...a real team happened. Detroit Pistons.

So..now even more recently.

I'm not a big baseball fan...actually don't watch it too much. I remember the days of Dodger fever and watching Steve Garvey and Steve Sax...and going to Dodger stadium with my family. Those were fun times. But lately...I've been watching the Red Sox. Mostly because my work is based out of Boston and they are die hard fans there. I've actually found baseball to be very interesting again....all the way down to the last innings.

Anyways..the "mighty" of this league...the overpaid, overpowered NY Yankees. Think your checkbook could win you the World Series...think again Steinbrenner. It was heart and determination..and the love of fans that took Boston into the history books in winning the pennant...after being down 3-0 in the series...and years of torment from the Yankees. Go Red Sox..

So...this post is dedicated to the people that really put themselves into things....The 2002 angels (that was a great win), 2004 Detroit Pistons, 2004 Boston Red SOX, your teachers who really don't get paid enough for what they do, your trashperson who picks up YOUR crap, your parents/friends who put up with you, everyone else in the world that isn't really truly appreciated for what they do...and expecially your family who loves you regardless of knowing you.

Humm..this post started as a poke on the overbearing...but ended up finding whats really important....a person's heart.

GO RED SOX

*disclaimer. Not to say that the Yankees, Giants, Lakers don't have heart...but i think they are just too full of themselves at times. (man..i can see the flame war now)

Rain rain go away

2-3 days of downpour...and it sucks. Hydroplaning on the freeway a bit is not fun either. The rain is nice to clear the air and dirty streets....and only good when u've got someone to snuggle with in front of a fire. Unfortunately, she's too far away.

Anyways, as of today, the sun has started to peek thru.

I wanted to post a note here to let people know whats going on...nothing particularly thought provoking or interesting today. Humm..lets see. Karen and I are good...so thats great =). I'm gonna see her next weekend. More recently been celebrating mantha's bday....speedzone, chili's and last nite Prime Rib at Black Angus (yummmm..their cake is soo good). The Oakland guy for my company has taken the week and a half off to go training..so I'm left covering for him. Thats been keeping me busy....as well as other work projects. Fortunately been able to clean up stuff at work and home. Ohh ohh...i got the washer and dryer working. Sooo cool. There's a handyman in me after all.

The house fixing stuff is kicking back into gear again. Got an appointment this weekend for landscaping work. Sounds professional huh..well..actually..looking into artificial grass. Hey..its actually looks good and i checked it out at the LA Fair. Need to get working on the other parts of the house, but one major expense at a time...especially since christmas is coming. Got tickets to the hockey game sat and sounds like Rico finally got his promotion. Yeah!

Finished Angels and Demons, DaVinci Code..and now starting the Hobbit....
so...thats all for now. buh bye.

Where's Ma Cookies!!!

Or more like...where are my posts...=p. Well..yeah..there has been quite a hiatus...but i do need to return to the art of writing. Actually thinking of doing some letter writing...but i'll start here first. Sadly..even my friends lil blog circle has started to dwindle when my renewed inspiration decided to go silent. If thats the case...hopefully i can help start it up again. =)

Anyways...its a blog...so going on about me....things are good. Been doing a lot of family stuff...which will be the majority of this post. Karen came in for a semester break weekend and that also was very needed =). Started my first meeting for PMX...and still working on the house. Ugg. Things been busy and well at work...more responsibilites...but also more respect. Haven't done much/anything for APO or AX...but still keeping an ear on it. All in all, things in my life going pretty well.

Where's Ma Cookies!!!

Been spending a lot of time with family. Its really nice being back in MPK where i grew up, and being close by to cousins and my aunt. I enjoy the 10pm calls from alfred to go eat dinner and heading over to my aunts place to help her out on her computer. My uncle who has helped being my handy man the past few months just left today for the PI...but yeah...things have been nice.

I went to the LA county fair with my family as well. ok..it was kinda a family event, even thought my sis, dad and I ended up seperating from mom, aunt and uncle from the very start. Overall it was a nice day out enjoying the sun, a diving show...and sitting on the artifical grass that could soon grace my own home. =p

Just recently came back from an impromptu bday celebration for my sister. I found out that she would be away on her actualy bday, so asked if she wanted to go celebrate...well...that day. =) Wanted to try something different, so called up teh family posse and friends and we headed to Speedzone off the 60 freeway. Man...it was a lot of fun. Back to the good ol days of mini-golf and arcade games. I think we'll have to do it again soon and get some races going on the actual speed tracks. I maintained the undisputed champ at HydroThunder. Mantha and i got pretty far on House of Dead 2...before we decided to head to DDR. Oh man...white boy cannot dance ddr. NO COORDINATION. =p *smile*

After gaming, we headed to Garden. Man..that was the best...we were just sitting there...eating, talking, laughing. Good times i tell you. Mantha was telling about her Disney cruise that summer and Alfred took it to another level with his antics. Man...where's my cookies has never been funnier. I swear my cousin has made my side hurt for 2 days straight....I love my family

PS.
And check out my brother's blog redesign. Really cool.

Humm..Doctor says cholestrol is a bit high...but still within reason. Humm..guess gotta cut down on the milk and really start working out now.

Gave Karen her 100 day anniversary gift...and still loving every minute of this.

Week is almost over...errands on Sat..and Disney on Sunday. Yeah weekend! Welcome October.

The Post - Take 2

Ugg..i hate that. I had a nice post last nite..but it got lost in the upload. Thought i'd remember how problematic blogger could be at times...but oh well. I'll try it again.

Anyways...the prompt for this post...was basically...yeah...i had time to write. Writing has always been an outlet for me..and a constructive method of expression. I've been told many times that i tend to mumble...well...writing it provides that sense of clarity. Only thing writing misses is emphasis...but that can also be acheived throught effective writing. Ahh..but i digress.

For the most part..i'd have to say...i'm pretty happy. Glad to be able to say that. I look around and see i have a nice house to live in. I have friends and family that support me and look out for me. I have a wonderful girlfriend who loves me for who I am..in all its dorkiness at times. My job is great..and they take care of me and appreciate me. Overall, I'd have to say life is going well (knock on wood that it doesn't jinx me).

Of course...not everything is perfect, nor is it expected to be. Guess its just those many challenges that life puts in front of us (Karen being 3000 miles away, long hours at work, my lawn dying). I guess you just have to take it all in stride and hope for the best...cuz in the end..thats all you can do.

After talking with my friend Rando, we both agree that it really comes down to your quality of life. Not to be bogged down with things...but just enjoying life as it comes. With Karen, I just tend to find more of the beauty in things...namely cuz she finds beauty in me *blush*. Life...yeah...make use of your time.

With that in mind..i'd like to set more goals for myself. Getting tired of TV (while i can say i still get caught by it).. but trying to find more time tp focus on myself. Less of going to clubs and parties..but more of watching Naruto with my cousin. I'm thinking of picking up guitare, as well as a language...but that will all come as i organize my life and things together. I think i'm almost there...so my opportunities for growth seem very open...namely cuz i'm happy...with all that i have already.

Anyways..i'm hoping to write more..but for now i'm gonna sleep.

Oh yah...wanted to say "Konnichiwa" to my lil Enida. I just got your postcard sweetie...so I'm hoping you're enjoying Japan. Call me when you read this since i'm not sure if your cell phone area code really changed.

Bill Koo's Visit

For the last week in Aug..i had a friend stay with me. Nice story when you think about it He is a friend from UCR that i met in my second year. That year i didn't really do much with my dorm hall, as i had my fair share of activities with APO. Anyways..Bill was one of the few people in the hall that would actually stop and talk to me. He has been great in organizing D4 Hall get-togethers and keeping in touch with everyone (well...more with the people he hung out with...less on me cuz we hardly talked).

Anyways..i was going through my buddy list..and clearing out the names of people i don't see online anymore...or really talk to anymore. I saw Bill's screenname. I mean...geez..its been like..almost 7 years since i've seen him or talked to him. So..mentally..i decided..i think i'll just archive his name..and remove him from the list. Well..that same day (yeah..believe it), I was about to IM someone..and I accidentally double clicked his name. D'oh. I asked if he remembered who it was (was using my personal IM..not the work one)..and he said yeah. Our converstation got into how we each have been, his wife and daughter, and stories of the ol' gang. I was happy that he still remembered me...even thought it had been so long. Well..he proceeds to ask me about Microsoft stuff...esp since i was a MCSE teacher...and tells me that he qualified for this free class in Anaheim. I'm not sure how the topic came up..but basically i offered for him to stay at my house...to save him some money. Raising a family is not easy...let alone in the bay area. It was a good week with him there...the few times we were able to see each other. I think the best part though was the first day.

I think the most memorable experience of that week was that monday. Karen had been house sitting waiting for the electrician throughout the day. Bill had just driven in from his first day of class...that started with him leaving victorville at 5am that morning. Earlier in the day, i got the call that my school network server was down as well..and they needed it back up soon (school was starting the next week). While i was coming home to greet both of them and try to unwind, i got the call that the Australia firewall was down..and needed to get things back up quick.

Talk about pressure. At the same time that started happening, the electrican arrives to work on something..and neil walks in to start moving some stuff in. CRAZY i tell you. I'm glad Karen sensed the pressure and took Bill out to get food..while i stressed in front of the PC. Thats the nice thing about her...she can read me well.

Later that evening...everything starts to settle...more like midnite or so....and i'm sitting there questioning myself..."do i go to the school tonite...or not?". I made a promise..that i'd go...but i knew that the staff would understand if i couldn't. In front of me, my wary traveller Bill was getting ready to crash while Karen was sleeping in my room. I decided...i'm gonna go. I promised..and they needed it for the next day.

So..i started getting things ready..and i went to my room to tell Karen i was going. Its only been a short time knowing her...but i knew she'd be upset if i didn't tell her. Because i knew her..i also guessed at what she would do next.

Yeah...she woke up...to come along. I told her she didn't have to...but she was set on what she wanted to do. In many respects thats whut i love about her. We got her CD player..and put some things together. What i didn't expect was the following...

as i started to walk to leave the house...Bill learned that Karen was going...and decided that he would come along as well. Wow..i surround my self with some amazing people. A friend i havent talked to in forever....and a girlfriend i only met a month ago...both heading out on a task with me at 1am.


I truly am a lucky man for the friends i have.

Where's Ray....

Yes..it may have seen hopeless for a while there...but yes..i have returned to blog. No real reason for the departure mind you...just had other things to do...like live life...than write about it. But alas...do not fret...for i will again humor my anonymous (and sometimes not so anonymous) reading community with my thoughts, words, experiences...and of course insights.

So..lets start with where i've been.
Humm..since the last post

- family dinner for Dad's bday at Lawry's. Karen got to meet everyone. Can't really gauge how that event went entirely...but overall it was ok. I think once i get things settled i'll ask my dad over for BBQ or something just more relaxing.

- When to PMX bbq. Wasn't too much for excitement level...but i was reminded that it seems just like the AX bbq. Found myself doing more physical activity..like playing catch...and flying a kite =). It was nice spending time with the new AX people...and future PMX staff.

- House Status - at this point...most of the living room is done. Had a great handy man that helped out and house sitters (alfred and karen) that made sure he could get in each time. The speakers and home theater system are up (man..that was drama in itself). He also added an aditional outlet in the entertainment area. Alfred and I installed a screen door to get more air flow to the room. I also bought some additional artwork and even a violin for the room. Just wait till its done..and I'll probably host a small kick back. Just need to do curtains now..and some paint. After the paint..the floor..and that will be it....for now =p....till i do the windows...ugg...seems endless
-Other House things - Got my roomie in. Welcome Neil as first ever roommate to the house. I've known Neil from back in the days of UCLA APO..and he's always been friendly, outgoing and overall cool. Kinda weird realizing that i have a roommate now..but its all good. Also thanks to Dave and Nea...gonna get a washer and dryer soon. Yeah!

- Bill Koo's Visit/MCSE classes - I'll actually do a seperate post for this one..cuz it could get long. (as if this post wasn't long enough)

- AX bbq - Yea..just like the other bbq. This time..the feelings have just been different...and less people i'm comfortable with.I did have fun playing basketball and horse. Man..some of the crazy things we made people do. =)

Other than that...just been living life. Oh Karen you ask =p...well..she's off to school and for the most part things are going well. I dont' really want to be the mushy - everything i write about and think about is her - boyfriend type...but really... I do miss her and love her a lot. We talk every nite...to inquire about each others day...but mostly just to hear each others voice. Its funny..cuz a lot of people have asked me if we plan on staying exclusive since we're sooo far away....and in fact we are. I'm happy to have found someone so special in my life...and still gives me room to breather and grow...because we both do not want our lives to revolve around each other...just as long as we're both a part of it. I've seen too many times when people get to into each other..that they lose themselves. For me...this relationship is a good balance. Course..i could do without the 3000 mile distance...but that is just a matter of time...and she is well worth it.

Besides that..been watching a lot of asian media. Got an M-Flow CD from Bren and loving the J-Drama "Be Nice to People". Man...they just really know how to reach a person. Trying to stay away from normal TV...but finding enough things to keep me busy (Note to self..need to work on the School network.) Anyways..also reading my next book C/O mantha..."Angels and Demons" by Dan Brown. Its a really good book...i can hardly put it down at times.

So yes...i'm alive...and truly busy (its not just an excuse...it really has been). I see that other bloggers have also been on break...but hopefully i can get visited by that comment whore martin (he hee..i swear u must wait for posts to appear at times martin..cuz as soon as they come up..u've got a comment. And i though I didn't work =p Love ya man.)

Till next time..

Oh yeah...Ventura Camping trip this weekend....so i wonder if i'll come across this...

Beer Bear link

I'm bringing Asahi..so hopefully he doesn't visit.

Domesticated

The weekend came and went pretty nicely. Started out pretty busy with dinner on friday (yeah AX Security...) to Raging Waters (yeah Ed C) and Rico's party on Sat. Overall it was a fun time with friends...mostly just enjoying each others company over shaved ice or Thai Hainam chicken. I'm just glad i didn't burn cuz it was soo hot this weekend.

My adventure on Sunday was pretty interesting to say the least. I guess it has to do with looking at life thru a different perspective. So..let me begin....

It started out with the fact that no one i contacted wanted a free ticket to Disneyland. When I told my cousin, she said that she could use it with Chan..and i felt that I would rather them have it than anyone else. My cousin has done so much..and endured so much..so i was just hoping this lil thing of a ticket would be a nice thank you. Well..so with the ticket now in good hands..i had a free day for Sunday.

Well..i was at home anyways for the weekend, due to those events..so i decided to chill at home. It was pretty hot but i didn't really want to head back home to MPK, especially since i remembered that Mantha was coming home that day. I actually asked Mila if i could accompany her to the airport to get them (mantha and Dad). She said sure..and now i had "plans" for the day. Well..it was still 10am...and pretty hot at the house. Since i didn't want to have 2 cars stuck at the movie theatre...and the Bourne Supremecy wasn't going to start till 11:25, i decide to take a walk to Edwards. Needless to say I made it quite an adventure. It included visiting the donut store, running accross the freeway overpass where there was no sidewalk, and eventually repelling down the hill side in my all-purpose Old Navy slippers. I made it to the movie...and it was pretty good.

Well..the title of this piece is domesticated...so let me explain why. After the movie, I found i had time to shop around the town center...so i decided to hit up Ross. Didn't really find much in clothing, so i just browsed around the store. Oddly enough, I did find some things in Homeware that i felt i needed (PaperTowel holder, sushi server, and coasters). After that I headed to Barnes and Noble. Instead of rushing to the Maxim/FHM and other men's magazine section...i found myself sitting and reading home furnishing and concepts magazines. (I did eventually get to Maxim =p). I also felt that i wanted to get more into reading...as i'm finding TV to be quite boring. (Cable-smable...i've turned on MTV 3 times last week to the same episode of the assistant). So yeah...i'm actually almost done with Farenheit 451.

Well..on the subject of home and domestication...i have my first roommate coming in next month. Yeah! now i just need to get things ready for him.

Weekend Plans
Fri - AX Staff Appreciatation Dinner - done...cool hanging with the crew again...otherwise the event was a waste of time. Boba and shaved ice..plus visiting the BEST library in the world - Cerritos Library.

Sat - Raging Waters with Friends...followed by Rico's bday. Looking forward to it...just hope i don't get sunburn.

Sun - Not sure yet. Looking to Karen's ticket to Disney before it expires this week. Otherwise...just a relaxing day.

Hoping the weekend flys by...so my hon will come home sooner.

RIP - SuperFreak Rick James - "I'm Rick James, Bitch"

Beautiful thing of this week
Getting phone calls from Karen in Europe.

Aug is here...
and much to the joking of my readers...yes...i'm still alive...and yes i'm posting cuz Karen is off in Europe (=p missing u love).

Honestly though...things have been really good for me. Since Karen got back, just been spending time together, had a nice getaway day that included reading books at Cerritos Library and Disneyland parks. We're taking it day by day..and enjoying each moment. =)
Yesterday Alfred and I were hanging out and we installed a screen door in the house so that was a big plus (finally some air circulation in that room). The speaker system came in and its sounds really good (hope that will get installed soon). The other thing is I may be getting a roommate soon as well..with friend from UCLA. (crossing fingers).

update: I may also have another roommate courtesy of Rich. Yeah! thanks Rich

Other than that...things have been really busy at work. Had an issue with a server in New Zealand that was killing my nights. The backup system wasn't communicating correctly and was inconsistant about backing up the data. We went about and changed everything, the tape drive, cable, scsi card....and even re-installed the software....to no avail. Then...after all of that...i wake up one morning to see it ran the jobs properly. Yeah! Guess thats why they call me a Legend in Asia-Pacific. If it wasn't for such a busy weekend schedule this month, i would have tried for a trip to Asia-Pacific to "fix" it.

Well..ok then...there's a quick update before i have to get back to work. I promise for more soon enough. =p

Happy Birthday Rico

People I count on...

Its great to have good people around me...that i know care for me and look out for me. I felt it a lot just this past two days...plus it will give me a short recap for you all..(as if my life were that interesting.....but it is =p)

Quiet moments - So..tues...just spent some time at home. decided to work on auntie poyche's computer and try to retrieve her old files before reformatting the machine. While i was working, decided to watch anime, so i called John over..and the three of us just chilled there...watching (while i worked)...but in the end...all was well. Sometimes the quiet moments are all worth it..

Couch saving - On Wed as i was driving home...i decided to pass the park. Had an inkling to play basketball..but instead i saw this couch that someone was throwing away. I quickly flashed back to Martin's story of saving this chair in SD, so i decided to call up Alfred to help me out. I was gonna save this couch cuz i think it would actually work well in my house. Anyways..i got home..and even my uncle said we'd walk over there and just carry it back...but i decided to wait for alfred. Well...we were just in time. Once we got there, we saw this other truck drive by and give us a cold stare cus we had just beat them to it. We put the couch on the roof of the car and i sat ass out of the passenger seat wind surfing and holding the couch (guess ropes would have been smart...but hey..it was 2 blocks away). It was beautiful...really. I felt really good with the wind running past my face and hair...holding this furniture...and just enjoying the moment. In all its craziness...there was warmth...and thanks..for my uncle and cousin who came to help me. I've very fortunate...
so...we checked out the couch (pic below)..and it looks pretty good..minus this one cut in the pillow. No matter anyways..cuz this weekend i'll buy enough fabric to make a throw over it...and it will fit on the third wall. Well...after that adventure, I made dinner (ok..it was canned chili and rice...dennisons yumm)...for all of us. They were actually amazed at how good the chili really was.





Zapped - Daily Kindness, Sometimes its the lil things - So...some of you may wonder what my big facination with the movie Zapped is. I guess you can say it was one of the things that movies that brings back memories of my childhood. Story is about a nerd (cough..cough)..that in a freak science lab accident gets telekinetic powers. Of course this isn't a superhero story..but he puts his powers to good use =p...like disrobing the school girls, hitting homeruns on the softball team, and many other pranks. Course its a love story too...yeah..i'm a sap. But it had like a really good soundtrack too (hence why i was happy with Rico's gift). Well...since that time...i decided to check out Ebay for Zapped stuff and i found that there is an Asian import DVD. WOW..i had 18 hours on it..so i asked my coworker who does a lot of ebay stuff..and ask if she'll bid/buy it for me. Well...she didn't have paypal..and i waited too long...but in the last 15 minutes of the auction/sale...Rich came through for me. (Thanks Rich!). He put in the purchase for me...and even while i he was doing that...i found the movie RAD...and he put in the purchase for that movie as well. Way cool!.. Anyways...ebay is evil..cuz then i found the cutting edge soundtrack..and possibly bootleg Zapped CD as well. Anyways Rich has it saved on his list...while he checks bit torrent for the albums first....oh...and about my coworker...she's the sweetest...just like a mom to me here...always looking out for me. Anyways..i told her i had this sore shoulder a few days ago..and she gave me this $200 worth massage gift certificate that she had gotten as a gift a while back. She said she was never gonna use it..and for me to just have it. SWEET! Of course..i'm gonna take her to dinner or something in thanks.

Yeah..I admit i have been very fortunate in life...


Beautiful things
Family, Alfred, My uncle, couch saving, and Rich. Course...my chats with Karen as well this past week. Monday is coming soon....

Weekend Recap (well..before this next weekend starts)..

Wow...this weekend was soo much fun. Started out with Clubbing on Friday, Wine Tasting and Family Saturday, ending with Church and family on Sunday. (yeah..i did say church *shakes head*)

Fri - Sat

So..after picking up Ed and riding down with Andre and genh to SD..we decide to meet up with Martin at PB Bar and Grill. I used to love that place...but this time..they gave me crap about wearing sweats (thats what happens when you use the club entrance side..to avoid the long bar line)..and it smelled of locker room sweat in there. Ugg.. Anyways...got to chill for a lil bit with the wine tasting crew and Le Thu..before we just decided to head home since there were too many sweaty people bumping into us. um...yeah...gotta find a new club for SD.
Anyways, Sat morning we headed out to the ATM to get some cash before we got started on the wine tasting. While we were there i noticed there was a Jollibee there..and suggested to go there for breakfast. (didn't think we'd actually do it - but spaghetti and hot dogs did hit the spot =p). I love being Filipino and being able to speak Tagalog...cuz i think that made it easier for me to ask to barrow the Jollibee plush you'll see in the pics. Lately been feeling a lot more carefree about things.

Well after breakfast, we start heading off to temecula. The drive wasn't too bad...and soon we were at our first winery. Personally i thought i was more of a red wine drinker..but i soon learn what i had an affinity for...and that was Muscat. Course there is also the chocolate ports...and the almond champagne. Anyways..as ed said...wine tasting is all about the group of people you go with..and everyone there was hella fun. So..after wrapping up at the first winery..we decided to go on to the next one. We did a total of 5 that day..and each one was great. I picked out a couple favorites...and now just have to hit a Trader Joes to pick them up. Memories of the trip will be a van load of people singing DMX - "Up in here!" and Pitbull - "Culo", the sourdough bread with the brie center, and Ed's lessons on the differences between champagne/sparkling wine and Scotch/Whiskey.
After the trip, i made a visit to the Rodriguez home where my aunt was having a party for her sons. Donny came with me and we reminisced on how nice family parties are...and of course the good food. I watched as people played Taboo and just spent the time relaxing. Soon after...headed back home with alfred, brenda, and mantha. That nite i went home to Cerritos.

Sun -
Well..as i said...i did go to church today. Now...it wasn't by any real calling from above..but rather cuz i was asked to evaluate the rectory for network connectivity. It also gave me a chance to meet the new pastor and such. Anyways..as soon as i got in..i was reminded of the hypocrisies of why i don't go. People who profess to do good works during that one hour on sundays..but don't really live it. Yes dear...I'd rather be spiritual everyday than one day a week. Case in point...course the church should be welcoming...right? Well..i came in..and just stood in the back...cuz i would rather listen to my dad at children's liturgy than listen to the priest usually. Actually..i was gonna stay..just to see if things had changed..but something happen that made me want to leave.

so...this parishioner comes into the church...quickly sits down in the pew and begins to listen to the sermon. The door ushers in the back begin making snide remarks...joking cuz the guy is still wearing his baseball cap. "oh..i didn't we where having batting practice at church"...then the newbie guy makes a motion as to ask him to remove his cap...during which he is stopped by the other cronies. Anyways..i could just be blowing this out of proportion..but i seriously doubt the Lord cares if you're wearing a baseball cap or not....least not the Lord i believe in. Anyways..these ushers have been there forever...so kinda get an idea what mass is like for that Parish. "blah blah blah..the church needs money....religious fund...pope's mission.."...DUDE...jesus did it as a pauper...wish people remembered that one..ai ya

anyways..i decided to leave..and find my dad and sis at children's liturgy. Its not the easiest of jobs..but my dad does his best. Well..i was catching the end of it..so i eventually had to head back to the main building (children's liturgy is done in an adjacent hall). Well..i didn't feel right about going back to the main part..so i thought to myself...Jesus loved children....why not.....so i headed to the children/crying room.

Ok..for those that don't know..sometimes there is a seperate sound proof "crying" room in some churches..where kids and infants can be locked away...so that they won't disturb/wake up the rest of the "believers". Well..in that room..i had my beautiful experience....

I met this unnamed Asian Boy..





Man..he was the cutest lil boy. We ended up playing peek a boo with in the pews for the course of the mass. He even did some navy seal moves scurrying in the aisles. It was great...and it was during that time i was reminded of Karen and finding the beauty in anything. This boy...it was just amazing. To me..that is what religion is all about. Living there..enjoying the moment....just life being beautiful. He made my whole morning...but it wasn't even done yet. He waved goodbye to me as he had to leave and i was touched. Who knows..maybe i'll see him again next time...and if i do go back to church...it will likely be the crying room again.

Anyways..being in such a giddy mood...the day continued to be good. I tagged along with mantha and mila to have lunch with ann at CPK. Anyways...mila and I had a fun time ordering from the children's menu and just acting foolish...(ok..it was just me acting foolish as mantha could probably tell you).. It was a lot of fun..just hanging out and eating. I had to take this pic of mila to capture the momenet.




Hey..she got a menu and crayons too =p. Well..after lunch..we headed back home...and I decided to call up Rico and chill with him. OMG...now that i think about it..this was a really really good weekend. Anyways..i chilled with Rico watching some DVDs when he surprised me with my belated Bday gift. You CANNOT imagine what he got me....cuz i've been looking for it FOREVER. Anyways..it was the ZAPPED movie soundtrack (on vinyl). Man..i was soo happy. happy . happy . happy....and really it wasn't about the actual item..it was cuz i knew that Rico knew and understood me. He listens...it was a sense of validation. So now...I just need to get the album to my friend to port to MP3 format..and i'll be able to actually listen to it. I'm very fortunate to have all these beautiful people around me...really..i am.

Well..after that..i even had a nice time with my mom and sis. We ended up watching "A Cinderella Story". The movie was "ok"..but the family time was the better part of it.


Beautiful things
Karen (for all your IMs this week), Martin (for planning) and the Wine Tasting Crew, Nameless Asian Church boy, Mila, and Rico

Yeah!
Big thanks to Rich for letting me lift from his template...so that i could finally fix this blog. (no more excessive indenting of posts)

Anyways..i have much to talk about...but i'll have to find some time to do so.
Busy at work....Researching for this blog..Missing Karen..but for the most part things are going well.

Finding the beauty in things everyday...thanks to someone....but that post will be coming soon.

In the meantime, this template is still in works...


But to keep you occupied...here are the pics from the Culo - Wine Tasting.(click pic -must have ofoto account...just get one =p)

 Its Friday...its friday....yeah!
 
Ok..enough with the gratuitous glee...ai ya...sorry..just in a weird mood. Actually woke up fully rested...got things done before work..and now just sitting at work..waiting for the weekend. (weekend plans: heading down to SD this weekend for Wine Tasting with Martin..and likely a family event on Sat.).  
 
Anyways...a recap for this week.
 
Missing Karen...yeah..that was going on all week. I did get a few moments to talk to her...and the more that i do learn about her...the more in love i feel. Yes..i did say love. The greatest part about it is that she isnt' afraid of it like most other people are... anyways...i'm wishing she was back here......and also hoping she's enjoying her trip.
 
Well..i couldn't just mope around all week...(ok..it was only monday)...so i decided to do some other things.
 
Tues -
so..i met this guy at Big 5 when i bought my punching bag. Pretty cool guy..just a bit rough around the edges...so..i am taking him under my wing and gonna be his kuya. I bring that up cuz i invited him to come kick it with us on Tuesday when i went to play basketball with Andre. Big Ed, Ed (diesel), Harold, Jonathan (big5), my cousin, and even Al came thru. It was cool..running again. We had a pretty good game with this group there...but they chicken out on a rematch when they won by 2.(close game...punks). After the game, headed out to Manhattan Beach with Al to hang with my friend Mark and some other people. It was cool just kicking back and hanging with Al again....been too long. Anyways...the cool part of the nite was while we were eating...someone asked how Al knew me. (Granted, Mark's coworkers are in the late 20s..wondering how Al (22) would hang with me). This was of course after they were already impressed at how at such a young age he had such a direction in his life - persuing teaching and his masters degree at the same time. Al's response.."Ray taught me how to speak". It was simplicity...and the truth. Granted..it garnered an explaination. So Al detailed.... and i recollected how when i first met him...how he too was very "rough" around the edges. I swear his was a thug..talking about running things here and there..homies..this and that.... But...the fact is...i saw beyond that. I see into most people...and take them for what they truly are...and Al...well...Al is beautiful. i didn't do anything to change him really...he came to me to ask me things. Together...he learned things..and i learned things from him. He was the potential...i just helped him focus. I'm so proud of him..you wouldnt believe. Now he knows the show..and how to run it. He's definately one of my homies for life..

Wed-
humm..i fell asleep on my work phone call....=p. Ok..ok..it was at 8am....and it was a late nite. Well ...things at work are good. They are entrusting me with more responsibilites..and i've been volunteering and become more reliable to the big guys. I'll hope to see it when my bonus comes around..but personally...just loving the job. My coworkers are great.. This day i also got recruited to work a project that included all time zones - Boston, Pasadena, and London...in a restore of one of our primary servers. Talk about crazy...but yeah. The best part of the nite thought was hanging out with my Sis. She truly is my best friend. There are times where we just don't see eye to eye..but through it all...i love her no less. Sometimes it may not feel like it..but i am here for you sis...when you need. I hope she gets to meet the right people in helping out her friend in LA.
 
Thur-
So..since the late hours working that project..i was able to go home early. When i got home I saw my uncle from accross the street...riding his bike. It was like 100 degrees outside..and he was wearing this fleece black sweater, hat and sunglasses. He told me he was going off to buy burritos for my aunt..cuz she called and said she was hungry. Unfortunately there was no food in the house so he had to get something. When i asked him why he was wearing the sweater since it was soooooo hot...he said he knew...but he didn't want to get sunburn.  soo cute.
I've had issues with my uncle..cuz of things he's done in the past...but being so close to him now you can't help but love him. I see that way he lives, treats others, treats his family..and there is no doubt that its all love in his heart. I thank my auntie for helping me understand that. He's been my project partner for the house...and things are going well with that too.
anyways..after waiting so long for auntie to finally come home...we stepped out to check out circuit city and home depot...followed by dinner at Ordonez.
 
House project -
I'm concentrating on the living room. I think its all gonna come together. Probably gonna head to downtown LA next weekend to get the fabric for the curtains and furniture. Once i get the right color, I'll match the crown molding to that red. Also gonna consult an electrician about the lighting..and home theatre speakers..
Also have to build a mantle over the fireplace to hold the TV. Final step will probably be the floor. I'll give myself a couple months to pull it all together...assuming i stop going out each weekend.
 
Fri -
Today...well..its been going well. But now i'm done with this post..and gonna read my book.
 
and now...dedicated to Karen..who can see the beauty in things...and found it in me (god...sooo mushy)..
 
Something Beautiful for the Day (in this case, week)
Al, my uncle, my sister, Jon (big5)

wow...things have been really crazy lately. Anime Expo came and went....can't say it was seemless or stress-less...but it wasn't. That weekend was quite a change for me.

I've been pondering the con..for sometime now. Its been the foundation of many of my relationshops..but the convention itself has lost its fun. The only joy i get from it is hanging out with my ventura friends...and meeting new people at the con. I now have to weigh those joys with the stress i get from the powers above. It comes back to stress. The stress you feel is what you make of it...so now its up to me to decide what i want to do about it.

The other thing that happened is that i met someone. Almost instantaneously...i found myself caring a lot about this girl. Meet Karen. Even in such a short time she's been pretty much amazing for me...as someone to be able to talk to and share things with. Things with her have been great even though its been for a few days after AX. Unfortunately she's off in Thailand and Vietnam right now...then eventually school in Boston. Really hard when your heart starts running...and your brain hasn't had time to catch up yet...but sometimes we tend to overthink things. For now...i just know what i feel...and am hoping for the best.

Miss you hon

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh........

Still recovering...but had a great time at AX this weekend. Well..its wasn't for the politics or anything else...but mostly about the people. Lot of things happening...quite the emotional roller coaster. Made some friends...made up with old ones....and the world seems better now. Saw the fireworks and felt some myself. It got pretty crazy there at times..but i'm glad my AX family was there to help me out and come through for me. It was also nice to see my bro and sis as well. Blair Witching each nite (too bad i missed the last one)...and being called kuya ray again...wow..this weekend was really just amazing. Shouts to all my friends that stopped by as well (Martin, Donny, Abigail, HT, Judy)...hope you enjoyed the show.

My family


Favorite line of the weekend

Somebody give me a band-aid...cuz i'm so cut (streching his arms) - Jeffrey (c/o your kuya ray). HAHAHAHAH

*strrrrretch*

Oh man..i though i had blogged in this a few times already...but seems like i've been too busy. Humm..what was i gonna say...ahh..just some notes and updates.

First off..i broke my hand...or..was that the window...ahh ..yea...i broke my window with my hand =p. I wish i could say it was in a fit of anger...or hitting the old baseball...or something more creative....but basically i put my hand thru it. I was showing my aunt..how the window gets jammed..and u needed to knock the top to free it up, but ended up putting my hand thru the 1/8 glass. Not too bad...but got a pretty nasty cut. Its still healing now. The cool part about it is how it added to the house rebuilding experience.

Honestly..its been great. I love being across the street to my aunt and uncle now. Wow..my uncle. He's just amazing when it comes to building stuff. I saw it the first time when he helped me change the water line for the fridge. Most recently though he helped me hang my hammock (its great!!) and replace that glass. I was actually worried about forking out a couple grand to replace everything completely (all the windows)...but the $20 it took to replace the glass eased my worries for now. While hanging out with Bren, I also got lamps for the room. The vision of the living room is coming together..and i can't wait till its all done.

La La La La...

Yeah..i'm at work...but i'm currently not inspired. There are things for me to do, but i just don't feel like doing them. I'm lucky that in my position, i can balance these down times..and even work if i have to...that it doesn't affect work performance too much. Either way...i'm still in a lull. Therefore..I decided to post.=p

Good news...I came back from my second appt with my doctor. After reviewing the MRI..seems he was right stating that i only had a case of Bursitis. It doesn't hurt as much anymore, thought it still can be tender at times. I'm just glad it wasn't a muscle tear or anything. Well, I have no excuse anymore to not work out.=)
Also..my hammock came in today. Yeah! can't wait to test it out soon. Almost feel like setting it up here in my office.
I think i've come to a resolution on the sound system for the living room as well. I need to get a 6 speaker system and an amp. Thing is, I'll need to set it up so i can switch cables around depending on room orientation. Man...so much to think about...but least i do that now...before i have holes in my walls.

I wish i could be at home watching buffy right now. It'd be more entertaining than sitting here on my ass. Well..guess i'll try to be productive now.

yeah..its all coming together.

This weekend was cool. I invited the AX crew over to the house for a BBQ. Some of the guys came over friday nite and we sat and chilled over hot sake. Thanks to Bren for cooking it up the next day and providing the asian movies all weekend. I've got to say, there is Asian movies are soo much better than what the US puts out (as far as emotional dramas). They seem to really know how to reach a person. I mean..come on...nothing can beat My Sassy Girl (current favorite romantic movie). We watched Sex is zero and started to watch My love slave. Funny how event the specifically funny movies still have the romantic thread under it.

Anyways..the projector idea worked really well and now thinking of keeping the walls white to make for a better image. Also just bought and put together a 3 shelve cabinet that will soon host the entertainment system. Yipee..contructed all by my lonesome (granted the pieces where pre-drilled). The first project room is coming together well.

ahh..more friday fun stuff...


http://www.pinkystar.com/pds/contents/solo/200401/ttws3.wmv

Transformers Dance Video

This one isn't funny..more touching...but i can't stop watching it. Damn Asian movies/videos.

Kiss - Because I'm a girl.

wow...the week is almost over...soo...time for a brief recap

Busy week at work...things are getting done. Pistons won! Yeah...the true epitomy of a team. Funny how right after the Lakers lose, their team is coming apart. Who's coming back, will they want to. Dude..i read an article stating that Jerry Buss left before the end of the third quarter. What kind of loyalty is that?? Guess its just like all the other bandwagon Laker fans. I do give the utmost respect to those true laker fans that stick by them...always. Anyways...enough of that.

So..i figured i'd try to work out again. I actually made it to the gym today. Ugg..hate it. This gym in pasadena SUCKS. Looks like a bomb shelter. So...i figured since the place was packed...i'd just hit the pool. Guess what..that was busy too. Sat in the jacuzzi for a while...but the whole thing just sucked. Guess I'll have to find the best time to be there..or look for another location.

After that i scored on my free coupons from Ralphs. They sent the "welcome to the neighborhood" package. Soo..came home with some air fresheners, paper towels, fried chickens and some eggs. Plus of course...got a good stock of cereal and milk =p. (shit man..it was 4 for $10 coco puffs).

Well...been buying a lot of stuff online. My Buffy 6 and Smallville 2 came in...and most fun was the Pentax Optio s40. Yeah! Funy though..the one thing i'm just anxiously waiting...is my hammock. Yup..i got one...it'd be perfect for the house..and its 2 person ^_-. I need to just set that up..and relax in the backyard..under the tree.

Well..thats enough for now... The boys are coming over tomorrow for movie and sake. Then we have BBQ on sat and Brenda's graduation party.

One more to go....



Soo...there you have it everyone...one more to go..and its gonna be an exciting one. I don't remember the last time I've been so hyped about the Finals. Less about the fact that I'm a Laker hater, but really..the core of it all..i think the reason i enjoy this Finals is about how Larry Brown coaches. I mean...the reason why i hate the Lakers is mainly about Kobe. Now..dont' get me wrong..he's definately got skills...and if i ever had to choose someone for a pick up game...i'd want him on my team. But really..thats all the current Lakers really are....Shaq and Kobe. I have much respect for the "non-stars" of the Lakers...Fisher, Walton, past members Van Excel, Jones, Horry...those are all players..with team in mind. Just doesn't seem that way with the Lakers now..and we can see that in these finals. Ohh..and honestly the thing that pissed me off the most was acquiring Malone and Payton. As if you didn't have enough "star" power..lets just over power. Funny thing..doesn't seem to have paid off so far.

Enter the Pistons. I'll admit, before the Finals even started, i figured the Lakers had it again... Didn't really know the Pistons..and really didn't care. I was actually hoping more that the Timberwolves would have taken it as far as teams in these finals...but then..i watched...and i was impressed.

These players..are a team. Passes, fundamentals, basically..they scored. They killed the Laker offense..and simply scored at will. It was nothing fancy. Most of their players are relative unknowns....but hey..they're up 3-1 over the Laker Destiny Team with 4 future Hall of Famers.

Soo..the only sad thing is see...is no more Basketball games..till next year. Hopefully Andre will start up that league and i can start balling again. I'll see if i can sport the Iverson again...for Larry Brown. Now..if Jackson can go coach the Clippers to a championship..then i'll be impressed.

GO PISTONS

Some funnys for Friday..enjoy

http://www.ti55.net/telling/jg/why.htm


http://www.yasuhide.com/incoming/bbs/2004-06-06/1636482698/japanese.wmv

Also...wearing the Iverson Jersey today...Yeah..

Cuz of the awesome game last nite...and the black-Road version for memorial of Reagan.

arrrr....need to sleep.
I am pulling an all niter...just like back in the days of college. Why?..well..since u asked...here is the reason.

Monday nite i went to dinner with my friend Mark. We kinda trade off, covering dinner...trying to find cool places to eat. Well..correction.. Mark always chooses Nozawa - the sushi nazi. Me on the other hand...like to experiment and find new places. Some really cool places... spaghettini, Mastro's, and now...our favorite one...Ruth Chris. I had heard of Ruth Chris a while back..but had never gone there. Actually was thinking of going with friends sometime next month...but hey..it was mark's turn to foot the bill..so why not just try it now.

OMG

It was sooooo good. The ambiance was a bit off..since we were in woodland hills. Doesn't feel like a classy steak house when person on the other table is in a wife beater..and the girl in the booth is in a football jersey. Either way..it was all about the food anyways.

Started off with the stuff mushroom and crabcakes. ohhhhhhhh the crabcakes......never had crab soo good. We then moved on to the main course. I had the Ribeye, Mark had the petite filet. Both equally good. I think i need to change my meat preference back to medium rare. I typically go medium..but i think do that just to make sure its actually cooked. (can't really trust those Norm's and denny's chefs =p) The steaks with a side of mash potatoes...and creamed spinach au gratin. I really would have preferred a corn side dish..but its not offered. Well..bagged up the leftovers..cuz had to save room for dessert. I had the better choice..with the chocolate sin cake...although the apple tart mark ordered wasn't bad. Man..*shakes head*...that chocolate sin cake. It now tops as my most favorite dessert. All yummy. Can you believe that they even called mark the next day to ask if he had a pleasurable dining experience. WOW...5 star service.

Well..after dinner..i had to sit and digest at Mark's place (food coma). Started watching initial D...while fixing his computer. Ran into some problems...enough to keep me there till 2am...but finished it up. Then i got told by mark that my reverse lights stay lit while i'm driving. Oh man...as if i didn't spend enough on this car. Well..although minor..i remember the hoops i had to jump for my last fix it ticket..and decided i should handle it soon.

So...since i only trust this one mechanic back in cerritos...i decided to drive back there that nite...(now 4am). Of course..this is a perrfect auto service...so that means if i'm not there at opening 8am...i can pretty much blow away my whole day. Therefore..not wanting to miss it...i stayed up. The short ending of this story..is that..i used to have the lights on all the time...but now they don't come on at all. Its disabled till Sat when we can install a new reverse light switch (original name eh?)

Now...you may ask...what the heck...what is all this rambling...

well...much like alcohol...lack of sleep can really lower inhibitions. Now...i'm one about appearances...tact...social norm...etc. Things out of place seem weird to me...
but get me drunk or in this state...watch my mouth. Some of the shit that pours out...can't help but laugh. Smart ass city...and all the catholic boys high school momma jokes just start to flow. Plus...just talk and talk and talk. then i just have a bunch of energy just need to release...which usually takes form in shadow boxing. I like to think of this as my adrenaline rush. A lot more things get done..but concentration and focus tends to decrease.

Gonna leave soon...try to get some sleep in between the game. bye

Reflections on this weekend...and laughing


This weekend had its fair share of lows and revelations...but i think i ended up finding myself in a good spot.


Lows
A couple things i realized about myself this weekend:
a) i don't like being lied to. I guess that even applies to my perception that i am being deceived. Personally...I say...Just be straight with me. If you want to do something...do it. Don't think ur clever and "hiding" it from me. Could i be wrong...maybe...but this is just how i feel.

b) i don't really need to beat my head into a wall for something. There is something that i would like...that i've made whatever effort i could to achieve...but its just not being reciprocated. I find myself getting hurt more...and am being a masochist about it...maybe a lil. Misunerstandings or not...i'm still feeling hurt over it. Maybe i think its because its worth it....but now i'm not gonna kill myself over it. I'm just going to live life as it is...and try to remove the negativity.

c) I guess i picked up some of my mom's stubbornness as well. Back in the days..even if we had a family party, graduations, and such...even though we all "knew" it was a family event...unless my mom got the invite..she didnt go. I totally accepted and understood how she felt. I mean..come on..its a family event....but no one wants to be somewhere if they aren't wanted. I also understand its hard to include everyone to.
Case in point was my friend Kristine's Wedding. We were close friends..from what i "believed"...but yet i didn't get invited to the wedding. I came up with all excuses for them...money...time...etc...just to help ease my mind from feeling left out. When i actually did go (as a guest of someone else)...i couldn't help but feel bitter and hurt...(that was for the first few hours)...but in the end...i was happy to be there for them. I would have even taken a "i wanted u to come...but i have a limited guest list"...least i wouldn't feel deceived (back to low #1)


Anyways..to the revelation this weekend..
So..as i was on the phone on Sat..talking to Rico and later to Bren...it hit me. Here I was...ranting..."i couldn't believe this"..."who does he think he is"..."i told them about it last year"..."whats going on"...
Whats going on.....
Whats going on.....
I thought to myself...what the heck am i doing? (ok..i used fuck..but i need to cut down on the swearing)

Then it hit me....this stuff is so trival..its Bullshit. Why?..why? am i even wasting energy on this. I waste my energy..thinking this...thinking that...what does it accomplish in the end. Its just plain stupid. My motto now...fuck it...just cut the bullshit. And it was at that point..that i just started laughing to myself. It was soo simple...yet took me so long to get there.

So..in regards to the lows...
a. If you think your hiding something from me...go ahead. If it makes you feel any better...then good for u. Just be straight with me...and i'll always be straight with u.

b. I'm still here when your ready brother...i'm just not gonna sit and hurt myself over it anymore more. I've made my peace...

c. Recognize everyone has their "group"..and i may or may not be a part of it. I'm always open to invitation...as you all are with me. I don't blame anyone for not being included...i'm just not gonna dance around the issues anymore.

So..there it is...
I finished my book from Mantha...Tuesdays with Morrie. Loved it...
It also influenced me on some of this perspective. Life is short....and i'd rather spend it enjoying it..rather than worrying about it.

Don't get me wrong..this weekend was a lot of fun...just glad to be where i am mentally.

Happy bday Joe and Traci
Congratulations Joe, Bojo, Becca, Jack and other APO peeps I know graduating
RIP Ronald Reagan

And..oh yeah....
Congrats Pistons... Wish i could have been watching the game with everyone..but probably would have gotten beer poured on me. (which..when u think about it..isn't soo bad). jk.

Damn...i hate TV.
Ever since i've gotten the cable in the front room...i find myself stuck in front of it. I should really consider if i want to put one in my room or not...humm...hope blogging will at least stimulate my mind somehow.

Anyways...GO PISTONS. hey guys...like i said...i tried. The Lakers are a good team...i'll give u that. There is just something about them..that i just can't seem to go for. Anyways...i've already said i was a laker hater...but u know what..a team i hate more than the lakers is the Pacers. SOOOO...i was really glad when they lost to the Pistons. These NBA finals are pretty much over...since the West is always better than the East....but I'm hoping that they are just some good games.

The weekend was pretty chill. Bren came over one Sat nite...and we watched some Korean movies. Pretty cool...kicking back. The next day we headed out to the AX BBQ. The event was poorly attended...and i found myself spending my time in a pick up game with some local kids to pass the time. Being there without the rest of the AX family was a bit weird...but then again, AX in general has been a bit lack luster. After scoring some free stuff, we decided to head out to PMX. I honestly don't think i can really "attend" cons anymore. I just get super bored. Seeing everyone in the ConOps room was really cool. I miss them all. Its been a while since i'd seen the ventura group. It felt like old times. personally I felt out of place...but that is something for me to discuss with someone....but overall...just being there was enough. Anyways...got to hang out with Bren, meet up with Sam and Angie...and meet this super cute girl. My big problem is WHY..WHY...WHY...are all the cute girls from Norcal. I swear...must be something in the water or something. Doubt it will go anywhere..but we'll have to see. Anyways...go to see Psycho Le Cemu in concert (pretty cool..weird costumes..but they seem like fun). Watched Battle Royal (crazy ass movie)...and head back to PMX on Sunday again. On sunday, i was able to reconnect with most of the peeps..just while they where working. The weekend was over...and bren and I got back around 4am.

Monday..i went to Cerritos. Its been some time and I was actually missing everyone. Well...seemed like nothing had changed. Spent most of the time with hanging with Cube and Dad. I miss my puppy =(. I really need to figure how I'll get things together here. Just unfortunate cuz i know i'm hardly around for him. Dinner with my Dad was good. Caught the Laker game at El Torito. Well...the Finals start again on Sunday...and its almost like classic BBall... Magic and Isiah days.

yeah..long weekend...and much planned...well..things we could go to at least. Tonite Bren and I just kicked it watching Asian movies. Much better than most American cinema. AX BBQ Sat, Andre's BBQ on Sunday, who know what...but MON is off. =)

Shoulder still killing me...but least i'll see a doctor on Tues. Missing family and the dog....prob gonna see them this weekend. Had a good talk with a friend today...bringing in new perpective to things. Only thing is taking action. I'll just enjoy the moment..and see what it brings.

Hummm...stream of consciousness writing....cuz i'm really too tired to edit.

So it begins...sitting here...watching Chappelle show. Funny shit...really. Just came back from dinner...that was cool too. Not sure what i'm doing anymore.....reading a book. "Tuesdays with Morrie". Easy read...favorite part had to be "once you learn how to die...you learn how to live"...

Such the truism....living life to the moment....still bothered by something that happend earlier this week...it bugs... I know I'm in a good space...content...not exactly satisfied...and not exactly yearning either. Not looking forward to be complacent....looking for the future challenges...

I got this house once i put my mind to do it...i know i can acheive my goals...now i just need to set myself with one.....seems like lists work well for me.....ways i can identify..and simply cross things off as i acheive them...

Now to just make the list.

Yeah!! After another hour with the cable company...but this time it all works. Lil by lil, the house is starting to come together. (no i need to call about the garbage disposal).

Another family dinner at my house...and it went cool. Had fun playing Cranium.

Got really organized at work..so now...work work work. Couldn't even get off the phone with someone in NZ...to start the game with my cousins. Anyways..got an early morning phone call...so gonna pass out. Nite.

arrrg.
An hour and more with the Cable company...then with linksys. I was hoping the cable-modem/wireless router would pick up real easy. Not...so now i'll have to exchange it to see if it really was the device that was the problem.
Anyways...i'll try to compose myself to get something written for my audience..and my muse. So...about this weekend...=p
As i said...Friday was cool. Got to go to a friends wedding. Unfortunately i wasn't really invited to it...and that hurt...but i guess i can understand. There was a limited number of people that they could invite. In retrospect..i think it would have been nice to at least hear about it...cuz i would gladly accept the lack of space reasoning. Anyways...i got invited as Rico's guest..so i was still able to attend. This person is a friend from UCR...so i did get to catch up with some old friends from there. The odd part of the nite was keeping up with Rico. We got to meet this newly engaged couple from the PI. In our drunken stupor, we were talking about girls in the US...and assumptions about those in the PI. It was pretty funny mostly..but some truisms. That nite ended off with my leaving my email with the lady to pass around to her friends. *hey...no reason not to try...*

Saturday was the House Themeing party...and it went better than i expected. Didn't really know what to expect...and things came together last minute. I've just been really fortunate to have good family and friends. Thanks to all my cousins for handling kitchen duty, Mark for being the BBQ-King, everyone that brought something (food, gifts)...and for everyone that just came out for the day.

Although i found myself giving tours most of the day..i was kinda disappointed i didn't get to sit and talk with everyone much. (reason for the next get together =p). It was a bit scary seeing all my different circles of friends in one space. There was a coworkers circle, UCR-FV friends area, family, neighbors, and just about everyone. Fortunately i try to hang with nice peeps..so most people got along. Personally..i'm just glad its all over..so i can relax now. I got a lot of cool ideas..so plan on future home improvement "parties".

Sunday...went to Ikea to check out designs. It was cool...giving me a bunch of different ideas for the rooms. Afterwards...watched the game. Sorry guys...i tried...thought i could somehow become a laker fan...but...nope...*shakes head*...just couldn't do it. I'm still knot sure if i have NBA team i'd like to follow. Still a sixers fan..cuz of iverson and snow. Not sure if iverson is staying anymore..so that doesn't help. Used to be a kings fan...namely cuz they were cool last year...and a challenge for the lakers...but i don't see that either. I remember the days of Knicks...with Spreewell, Houston, Camby, Starks...thats the hard part about following something. People changing...esp when you're following the people.
Anyways...i should have been working this hour that I posted...oh well...more to talk about later.

Got to hang out with Rico and catch up with friends at a wedding today. Lot to talk..and think about...but u'll have to wait. =p

Need to get some rest before tomorrow/today's BBQ. Hope it goes well..since its nothing really planned....but reallu..supposed to be just a kick back. Oh well..we'll see how it goes.

Yeah!...
Missed work today...though u could hardly tell. Had to stay home to get things taken care of.

1. Refrigerator guy - Came and fixed the ice maker. Yeah!
2. Gardener - Mowed the lawn for this month. Looks really good for Sat.

3. The best thing today. YEAH!!! Cable guy (not jim carrey) came and installed the Cable internet. A whopping 2.7MB/sec of pure interent speed...that cooly could also be used as basic cable reception.

Plus Mark came over and we ate at Shakas (damn cute girls)...and shopping at Costco. Yes everyone..there is like NOTHING in the house. Trying to get all the supplies soon..like knifes, plates, silverware and stuff...but after this weekend...probably.

Well...chiln with Rico tomorrow..then Sat... Its turning out to be a good weekend so far.(mine started today)

Humm...work mostly done. Wedding on Fri...House Theme-ing this weekend...PMX in a week...and now AX getting on my case.

Sometimes it is just nice to go home and sit...do nothing.( Its also nice not having a TV at home..though that will change tonite).

Anyways..the house is starting to feel more like a home. Sad that Mantha left for Norcal today...but guess that added to the reservations about leaving Cerritos.

Tomorrow the landscaper, cable guy, and refrigerator guy come in to do their respective work on the house...so slowly getting situated to the new place.

Funny thing...i've realized that every room i've lived in has always been make-shift. With the exception of the dorms and apartment during college...i've found myself living in a "converted" room.

My latter years of college i was in a converted living room. No windows and one big sliding glass door for an entrance. My roommates and I actually built a free-standing door (called it the hollywood backlot door) to the room.

When i moved back home...I moved into the bonus room built over the garage. Four windows, no door..and a pool table in the middle of the room. Again no closets so i had a free standing hanger-thingie.

So...now...i have a whole house to myself. Two open rooms for possible roommates...and i've taken the biggest converted room. Then i started realizing....no door...a sorta closet...and 1 sliding glass door for outside access. Well..least this room has 2 fans, a window, and a fireplace. Now i have to install a door.=p



also..starting to feel more.."home-owner-y". Besides just watering the lawn...my first act as a home owner was replacing some copper pipe that runs water to the refridgerator. It was really nice actually...just my uncle helping me out..and me doing some actual.."manly" work. I know this house will be a constant learning experience for me...and for the most part...fun.



and now that i have a muse*...i'm planning on getting back to daily posts. Just need to work on more thought provoking things...besides my life =p.



muse -A guiding spirit, a source of inspiration

Its been some time....but yes..i've been busy. Not just work..but getthing things moved into the house. Hopefully will have more time to write later...but i did want to let you know that I am still alive.

Happy Birthday to me...Happy Birthday to me....=)


Thanks to everyone for your birthday wishes and such. Thanks to mantha as well for planning dinner.

To my family...

If your ready to forgive....I'm ready to move on. I'm sorry for things i've done in the past...and how they may have hurt you. Hurting people is never my intension...but i know it happens...and for that I'm truly sorry.

Weird. So...as u can see...haven't posted much lately. Verizon has had Sasser problems...so internet at home has been really bad. Work also busy...as i'm trying to organize things...plus slowly starting to move into the new house.

and now...Blogger has changed completely. Wow...too much.

Anyways...i've made the time to post now...so better use it wisely. This past weekend was fairly interesting. Went to Utah to surprise grammy on her 75th Bday. It was really good to see her again...and she was really happy to see everyone there as well. Got to see my dad's side of the family. I'd have to say...of all of them, still closest to the Mitchells in Washington. As my brother said, probably cuz they are disney fanatics like us. (speaking of which..i should go use my pass again). Trying to reconnect...but my dad's side will be harder since they are so spread out...plus i'm still working on the local ones first.

Funny...making it sound like "work" to just talk to your family. Actually, not so funny...but just being realistic. As i said before, family to me is not simply defined by blood...but those that i really hold close to me. I've seen members of my extended family just do things...that u wouldn't do to your enemies...let alone friends or family. In the end...realistically...i realize we're all human...and to be human is to be flawed.

Driving in the car this morning...i know my bday is coming up this friday...and i really don't have anything planned. I started remembering how as a kid, i was always envious of the "popular" person in school..the ones who knew everyone (i think a lot of people shared that feeling). I had my small set of friends which was cool...but u know...to be that other guy...its a common human desire.

Fast forward to present day...where i know people pretty much wherever i go(kinda bold, but mostly true). Disneyland, Magic Mountain, clubs, schools...wherever. Sounds like i should be happy...but...i'm not. Its never been about quantity of people. Don't get me wrong..its nice knowing people...just cuz i like meeting people.. but i don't have much depth with them. There are very few that i do.

So..as i sit there in the car..thinking about friday...i think thru a couple of people i think to be close friends...but even then..i come to think of my family as my core group. The small group of family that i'm starting to reconnect with on tuesday nites... they are the starting point. Slowly and sure enough...i'll get back everyone. I'm here to start things again...when they are ready.