RIP Joseph Pabalan.

Anytime i hear "Best Friend", i remember the boy i first gave that title too. It's been too many years since i've seen him and now he will only live in my memory. Rest in peace my friend. My prayers to you and your family.

It was a new school and i was separated from my family. My parents left me with my grandmother and aunts in monterey park. i was scared, confused and felt lost. Fortunately i made friends with Joseph and Michael. Together we bonded as the only Filipinos in our class at Our Lady of Miraculous Medal (Course you can add Paula since she was Filipino, but she was also a girl =p). I had a hard time deciding between Michael and Joseph who i would consider my best friend, but Mike had Efren..so i picked Joe =p. In 3rd grade politics, that was all that mattered. Thing is, no one else has ever gotten that title from me. It was only short 2 years at OLMM but it definitely left an impression. I still drive through the school thinking about my times there.

Fortunately facebook has reconnected me somewhat with Michael, but friendster and one attempted phone call a few years ago was a poor attempt to reconnect to Joseph. Now he'll only live in my memories...and those will be good ones. I remember the 3 of us hugging Mrs. De La Torre and seeing who could hold her the longest. Joseph showing us to moonwalk, so i smiled a bit when i saw his picture still wearing penny loafter type shoes.

It didn't really hit me till i started writing this. I'm mostly a private person so i had grave hesitations for even posting this. I know i have caring friends, so I'll let you know right now that I am ok. Unfortunately i've been through pain and loss a lot growing up, so i know i make it through. I did want to share this mostly to let you know what Joseph meant to me. Hopefully whoever reads this will think of those they have with them and embrace* these moment. I'm learning from it to keep closer ties with my friends. There is not enough time in the world to be as close as we may hope, but sometimes all it takes is a phone call/txt/wall post to remind each other that we exist.

"This year death reconnected me with two "lost" friends i was really close with growing up. Sadly the recent one was for the first and only person i ever called my best friend. RIP Joseph Pabalan. May HE raise you up on Eagles Wings. www.josephpabalan.com"

Taken from his Friendster...

# About Me:

If you want to know what all my "favorites" are you can
call me, if you're too shy to ask for my number - it's
911, ask for the police and say that you're too much of a
wus and don't know what to do with yourself - then, ask
them to put you away for a long time so that you wont ever
even think of bothering me - and lastly, i enjoy reading
life affirming self-help books, planning for the future,
floral arrangements, and tons of other gay stuff because
im a sensitive and caring man of the new millenium...
# Who I Want to Meet:

here goes...i want to meet a woman who is equally stunning
in an evening gown and a pair of my old PJ's, she's gotta
know when im bull shitting her or myself, pick the right
brandy and cigars, and love motorcycles, surfing, and late
nights painting the town crimson or at home watching KUNG
PAO:ENTER THE FIST. lastly, shes gotta realize that the
most precious thing i can give her is an embrace - the
exact moment that two hearts are the closest. oh, shes
also gotta be able to put up with my reckless candor and
extreme sentimentality. any "potentials" confused about
anything i've written above need not leave me any
messages...i just don't have the time. UPDATE:
As of August 14, 2004, I am no longer a single man. So disregard all the above bullshit.

hard to deal with jerk people when you are the nice guy. If only Karma truly existed i wish people would be good to each other...

Why would i feel the need to apologize for being myself. I've been nothing but true to who i am.

Be the bigger person. You are better that way.

Know that you are loved liked crazy. Give thanks for all your blessings. Above all else, love and you will do wonderful things in this world. ~ soulmate

I love my life. Drove to work smiling after i learned my contractor is a brother in APO. =)

weird dreams last nite. I miss you my habibi.

slap.
caught myself again wasting time. just keep swimming, just keep swimming.

un-inspired?

I shut off the tv, realizing how letting it constantly broadcast images to me may be soothing at times...but has further stunted my creative self. So now..i stare at this screen. Not that much better as facebook and the internet in general has broadcasted to me images and things in other people's lives...but again...i'm watching...not doing.

hello behind the smile. have i been smiling lately? whose to say really. My trusted friends...my words. Its always been my ability to say how i feel and effectively communicate. Here i would write what was going on in my mind, my life. Lately i've been to doped to return here. Realization is the key, but action is required.

Today was a good day. Packing away all the things in my house yet appreciating a tasty lunch with a friend, with the melodic strings of a guitar in the background and a beautiful hostess. The night before, knocking down pins with my cousin and closest friend, taking in life's gifts.

I want more from this life. I have not been giving it my all. I'm numb but i am awakening.

These changing times

I'm writing this now from a gadget on my igoogle page. Needless to say there are a lot of things changing right now and i feel its for the better. I've been busy with work and seems like the house project will get started soon. I'm searching still for a lasting peace and have found myself returning to a higher inspiration. This past weekend i was reacquainted with something i thought i had lost...time. I stopped things and just relaxed. I couldn't stop all the noise and activities around me..but i was able to minimize it..and find some peace. More to come..changes on the way.

End of oct, all of november, and now midway through dec...

I think Facebook may have wounded my blog...but all is not lost. I'd say killed, but i'm here aren't i? I miss my outlet to just say how i feel.

2008 is still transitional...

Not much of a Christmas feeling this year. Some of my roommates heading to Japan for their wedding and the living room is a mess. Haven't put up the tree or kept with the ornament tradition, let alone do any xmas shopping. Really just in no mood this year and the rain doesn't help.

Had my highs and lows these past months and now just settled. A general malaise right now but also a sense of adventure for the upcoming year. I just want to get some things out of the way and i can move on. House plans should get approved soon. After that, get the contractor going and this elephant in the room will be gone.

This year we welcomed Jordan and now little Nicholas to the family. Rozelle rescued four kittens and now looks after Jake and Dexter. Kristine just moved out to an apartment and bought a car. Kuya Zandy welcomed me to a Pacquiao fight and his home twice as well as just brought me back to the time when i had my kuyas looking out for me. Samantha is looking towards a future abroad and my brother is happy with the life he has with Ashley. My parents are active in their projects and all seems well in the world.

As for me...things are good. 2009 here we come...I can already tell it will be life changing.

Oct 20, 2008

I knew this year would be a transitional year. Hard to fathom all the changes that have happened so far..

Today has been one of my most honored and special days =) I am thankful for my life and all its blessings.

Hello blogger.

Sorry its been too long but really been sorta busy. Sadly since choosing facebook as my photo album holder, i find myself on there more often. Either way, i have not forgotten how you blogger have been here since the beginning, as my catalog and archive of my thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

I was gonna leave it at that and go back to "work" of watching the football game..but @#@ it...lets just type.

Updates.
I'm comfortable with a specific contractor now and i just need to see some contracts and the housing project can begin. In order to do so, i've become very aware of my expenses and doing what i can to afford it all. Its quite and endeavor but very worth it.
My current philosophy has been "don't second guess anymore". Feeling a lot better since doing that. Taking chances and so far they have been fruitful. More on that as things happen.
Its October now and playing with my cousin's mila's belly button (while playing Rockband) reminds me how much i love my family and thankful for everything in my life. Its been a trying time for many with this economy and events, so i'm glad that its the simple things with my family and friends and make like enjoyable. For that I am happy.

PMX is coming up soon. Politics have become childish and annoying. Halloween is in 2 weeks and i'm still not sure what i'm doing for it. Untill next time then faithful readers =)

It's gonna be a boy =)



Congrats to my cousin on her future wedding and baby boy!


ahhh..cupcake love and notice the wavy hair. I'm still not enjoying it but we'll see if i can make it last till i can donate it.

This has been a horrible past few days...lots of stress and lots of drama....
yet through it all...i still found my peace.

Hi special one


I found this video a number of months ago. It details my favorite parable of the prodigal son and actually resolved many of the questions i had about it (yeah..i always felt i was the one who stayed, not strayed). Not only that, it reached out to me and gave me peace.

On another note, I think i'm going to use facebook's public album ability to host my pictures. Its just a lot easier than using other 3rd party sites.

I love my life and have amazing friends and family. Thanks all for a spectacular weekend =)

Details and pictures to come.

So it took jury duty to slow me down and finally give me time to update this thing.

Costa Rica - Overall the trip was good. We travelled lush countrysides, stayed next to an active volcano, walked through the cloud forest, then waded on the black sand beaches. I had a great time Canyoning through waterfalls, Ziplined through the trees and rafting in the river. Much of the time was spend finishing my Malcolm X book and quiet moments just thinking...and mostly missing home. The group i was with was "ok" but just felt particularly stressed due to one person.

Yosemite - I have to contrast Costa Rica with Yosemite which was the BEST TRIP EVA!!! =p Our trip was not without its stresses, but overall it proves to me that to me its always about the people. Yosemite was equally beautiful, if not more so. We hiked 2 waterfalls, saw the dam, ate at a nice hotel, saw a bear, dear, and raccoon. I reconnected with family and built even deeper bonds.

House stuff - The plans for the house have been ok'd with some minor changes. We're looking at a timeline of being out of the house by Aug with the hopes that the complete renovation would be completed in November. Not likely we'll have Halloween party this year, but overall we'll have a great place to live when we get back. I love my roommies as even though we could go separate ways while the construction is going on, we're still looking to stay together. It truly is family at the house.

Other than that, my crisis at work seems to have stabilized. A few months ago, my company stock hit a 40% drop on its stock so things in the office rapidly changed. For a while there i seriously feared for my career. Fortunately things have gotten better even though they are still a bit stressed. In turn i find myself a lot busier at work, that plus juggling everything going on, has contributed to my absence.

Anyways, I'll post pics when i can.

May has rushed by really quickly and just looking forward to June.

Heading to Yosemite and the Lakers are headed to the Finals. All is good.

Once i catch my breath in June, i'll give a more detailed update on things.

Happy Birthday Brenda =)

gotta get away?



Heading off to Costa Rica. Tagging along on my coworker's trip, but looking forward to getting a new perspective on things. Just the short itinerary of the trip.

Arenal (3 days) - next to the volcano. Hike/Hot Springs, Rapids, Canyoning.

Monteverde (2 days) - Ziplining and Rainforest Canopy tour.

Montezuma (1 day) - Black sand beach and possible snorkeling.

Hoping for lots of pictures for when i get back. See you next month.

Whoa oh oh!






and in other news...we're number one in the WEST!!!