Ok...so tomorrow is Easter. Itz gotten me thinking about stuff. I remember when I was younger… how I always looked forward to this season. Mainly because I love Holy Saturday Mass. This was the coolest mass because the priest would come in with one candle into a darkened church. As he processed in… he would start lighting candles of parishioners. Soon the whole church would be lit up in candlelight. Then the mass would begin. Of course as a lil kid and an alter boy…I would serve the Holy Thursday Mass with the washing of the feet, Holy Friday Stations of the Cross, and end with the Holy Saturday Mass.

So where am I now? Without going too much into my perspective on Religion…I find myself sleeping in on Sundays…not going to mass. Eating meat on Fridays during Lent ( I was even called a devil (jokingly) since I was convincing someone to eat meat too.) I’ve become that closet Catholic that I always looked down on as a child. Why only come to church on Easter and Christmas…what about all the other days?

Well… let me tell you my side of it now. I was definitely a route Catholic. My mother was pretty strict in her upbringing about her faith. I went to Catholic school most of my life…and when there was no Catholic school…I went to a Lutheran one. Mom felt that the only good education was a religious one. I guess she could be right about that one… I still feel moral in my perspective…and feel I “turned out” pretty well. Throughout Catholic elementary and Catholic High School (all boy too – sucks… but sadly that was my choice…stupid classmates/friends), I was at home….so Sunday church was a natural part of life. I may not have wanted to…but I always went. Usually to sleep (in elementary) but after I became an alter boy… I started paying attention. I do still feel a strong connection to Catholic teachings (wow… I even had problems writing that statement)…but maybe not to GOD as much as I did anymore. Well once I got to college… things started to change. I still made it to church…it was something my gf and I made sure we did. But slowly things started to change. We went to church at the Newman Center at UCR… and every year they changed out the priests. That was the kicker ladies and gentlemen. I pinpointed where I lost it.

For me church is about community. So changing the priest… and coming home to St. Bernard’s Parish… and not even recognizing the priests anymore…I lost my sense of community. How could I be in a community of believers when I didn’t even know anyone? I still believe and God, Jesus, and everything… but I talk to them in my own way. I have my own perspectives on religion and feel that living a moral and just life is my best gift of thanks for the life that has been given to me. I don’t believe that when judgment day comes… my diet (eating meat) will come into question (c/o Chris Rock). I hope that my actions on a day to day basis shows the creator that I have lived a good life… and that I thank him/her for it. Sadly though… my nightly prayers have been replaced by passed out exhaustion. My Sunday mornings are used to sleep in, instead of creating a new community with the parish. I go to mass for people (my sister, my cousin) but not for myself. The last time I was moved by the faith…I was watching Robert Schuller from the Crystal Cathedral. Oh well…Happy Easter everyone.

PS...to get my perspective on religion...watch Dogma and the one episode of Different Strokes when Arnold is “trying” out different religions.