Started going through my closets today. Organizing what I want to keep and getting rid of the stuff I don't. I found out I have enough t-shirts to last me 3 months, if I changed everyday and didn't wash. Oh man...too much. And all blue, black or white. So yeah...going with this new outlook on life and just living. Cleaning up and cleaning out.
Was in pain most of last week. Remember boys and girls...always stretch before you work out. OUCH!
Saturday ended my term as Section Chair for Alpha Phi Omega. Seemed a bit anti-climatic. I had a great time in San Luis Obispo, learning how to rope an active and even line dancing (ok..sorta learned that one). There were a lot of people there...and from what I hear...my goal of having more and more interchapter stuff is coming together. I was pretty happy about that. I'm also glad that Jack was elected as the next chair. (SUCKER..if you only knew what you were getting into...HAHHAHAHAHAH)...just kidding lil bitch. He's a great guy...and I know he'll get the job done. Many a times he kept even me in check. Just gotta work on a couple things...but you always come thru. =) Best thing...HAHA…now everyone will have to learn how to spell your last name (tulatammagul ...tut tut a magg a gol…or something ^_^) I still remember when I first met him...such a dork...
guess somethings don't change =p
Hahaha...man...that actually feels good. hahah...just kidding Jack. He knows it...and I bet he'll try to call me out on his Xanga. (ps...change your song...getting annoying). But thatz been our relationship...clowning on each other…but when it comes down to it...I can count on him...and he knows I'll be there for him as well. But hey...this blog isn't about Jack...so...back to me. =)
So again...anti-climatic. I had to think about it a while...why have I been in APO so long? I've seen a lot of things...drama...fights...power struggles...friends coming...friends leaving...bitter memories...and sweet ones. I've logged God knows how many miles on my car...driving to San Francisco, Davis, Sacramento, UCLA, UCI, UC Riverside, USC, San Luis Obispo, San Diego, Arizona. Countless Sectional Conferences (Sec 1,2, 4), Regional Conventions (Oakland, San Diego), National Conventions (Arizona, Philly, New Orleans). Met countless brothers in all these chapters. I was there when UCLA and UCI rechartered. I was there when UCR "buried" their Time capsule. Pledge pinnings, Active installs, end of the year banquets. A family line that encompasses multiple schools and pages. Who knows how many APO sweatshirts I've purchased? A bag full of APO t-shirts sit in my room...a ucr pledge class t-shirt all thru Pi class (except for Omicron...no one saved one for me...and hasn't since).
Most of you are probably looking at this and saying...OMG...this guy has no life. All this for some Frat. Well...honestly...thatz pretty much been it. But there is something you have to understand. I'm in APO...because APO is me. The principles, the ideals... Leadership, Friendship, and Service. They are all things that I truly believe in. This organization has given me the opportunity to be me.
Service-Ever since I was young, my family instilled in me the "duty" of service to others. Mainly due to Asian upbringing, it was customary to make sure that you respected your elders, and do what you can for them. In school, I was a member of a Catholic youth group and we did many things along those lines to help the community. It didn't matter how I did it, but there was always a sense of giving back...for all the benefits I have received. APO was just a tool to do that.
Leadership-In this organization, I've seen many leaders come up through the ranks. Given the opportunity, many people can achieve anything...and I've seen it done...and itz amazing. I remember the quietest person in one of UCR's pledge classes become one of the most vocal actives in the chapter. I've seen people organize fundraisers that have raised $1,000+ to charitable groups. I've seen a group of actives give their time and energy to a Senior Citizens home and help them remember what life really was like.( I still remember Ruth from the senior home bringing me to her room to show me the pictures of her kids...the ones that hadn't visited her in over a year). Lots of leaders...just looking for opportunities.
Friendship-Probably the one thing that keeps me here the most..and its not just specific friendships...but all the ones I gain as I continue to be active. Fortunately, I still am able to call and talk with some of my friends that I met when I first started. I was walking across the campus of CSULB on day and actually found one of my lil sibs who I hadn't talked to in over 5 years, and we were able to pick up like nothing. In high school I was more of the nerd (surprise surprise =p) and didn't really have a lot of friends. (*Friendships- thats a topic for another day). I keep up with many of my friends thru AIM, but its odd when you think that although we've been graduated from college for over 5 years, it was this one organization that brought us together. Whatever way you look at it, I'm known throughout California thanks to the pledge test and my visits. Hundreds of people have had to learn how to spell my last name...(yes..there is no "g" in warriner.) My brother and sister are/have been members and leaders in it.
wow..and I am still going.
So..again..why so anti-climatic?
I don't know...
At the final meeting, I made my speech, thanking everyone for coming...and thanks for the 3 years as Section Chair. I showed the rush video then walked into the audience and found an empty chair in the back...all by myself. No big speech. Not sure what exactly was running through my mind...and a week long of crazy travel culminating in that one moment...and in that moment...i felt...hollow. empty. (hence the anti-climatic).
I didn't understand why...and still really don't. It did get better later, when Jack presented me with the Section 1 Distinguished Service Key, the highest honor given in the Section. I don't do this stuff for recognition, but it is nice to be honored. It was nice walking back down, seeing everyone stand up...and given a chance to say something again...to try to say thanks. I started rambling something that I had thought of once...how everyone seeks immortality...thru their children...and how I had achieved it through all of them...by them being my family. (I can see you tearing now =p). Not sure exactly how it came out…but now wondering if it made me seem arrogant. ( I told Kevin Simpson later that all the immortality talk, I may start walking on water. Honestly I did…there were a couple of rain puddles that I swiftly glided thru ^_^ ). I'd have to say my best moment for the day was when my sister came over and hugged me. Samantha has come to mean a lot to me and I am so thankful for her. She is my best friend. (*Another post, for another day).
In all my years with APO, I'd have to say my most memorable moments have been with UC Irvine, Rho Rho. I still remember the first days when I saw this group of people come together huddled on the floor of an apartment. Meeting Clint, the first person I met from the group, who continues to be there for me and invite me out to Basketball games. The cherry tying contest we had at Islands during our first socials.(sorry everyone, still can't do it...need some practice. Anyone? =p ) Kelly knocking out 8 or so in a minute. Practicing for UCR Lip Sync the first time, the stresses of leadership and organizing people, planning for sectionals, PGCPPC, doing the bylaws, etc. The joys...the tears...working...and finally getting it done.
I still remember the Banquet, probably one of the most emotional moments for me. Of all the people they could have asked, they asked me to do the keynote address. I'm usually quite composed...and would have thought out my speech a couple times before I would actually start. Oddly...I found myself overcome with emotion...so much I had to call my sister outside...so I could let it go. (yes...tears). I wasn’t sad...but I couldn't explain it. I wrote once before it was like a parent and child relationship...and they are just growing up. Not away...but just growing up. I guess the reason why I bring it up is cuz I know someone at that chapter knows me better than most.( I suspect who it is...but yeah). The reason why I say that is my most prized possession is not the Chapter DSK they awarded me, but the foam cut out of a key and the "one to grow on" chart that they gave me. On the chart, they marked all the milestones that we had all accomplished and wrote words of gratitude on it.
That is what touches me. Not awards or titles. I honestly could care less about all that stuff. Its seeing how people change...and hopefully for the better. My "awards" have been throughout my term...seeing events like that, watching people grow...and seeing what effect I may have on them...and the potential they have to achieve. Hearing Jack at CPW in SJ say that I was his role model.*tear. You (Jack) may not have thought much of it then...but thatz what moves me. People going out of their way for me, a hand quilted/decorated pillow means more to me than any expensive present. Its never been about money...much more on time and thought.
But yeah...thatz me.
I close with a couple lines from Lord Alfred Tennyson...again on the immortality thing...and moving on to new challenges.
Yet all experience is an arch wherethrough
Gleams that untravelled world, whose margin fades
Come, my friends,
'Tis not too late to seek a newer world.
Though much is taken, much abides; and though
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.
- Ulysses
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