People I count on...

Its great to have good people around me...that i know care for me and look out for me. I felt it a lot just this past two days...plus it will give me a short recap for you all..(as if my life were that interesting.....but it is =p)

Quiet moments - So..tues...just spent some time at home. decided to work on auntie poyche's computer and try to retrieve her old files before reformatting the machine. While i was working, decided to watch anime, so i called John over..and the three of us just chilled there...watching (while i worked)...but in the end...all was well. Sometimes the quiet moments are all worth it..

Couch saving - On Wed as i was driving home...i decided to pass the park. Had an inkling to play basketball..but instead i saw this couch that someone was throwing away. I quickly flashed back to Martin's story of saving this chair in SD, so i decided to call up Alfred to help me out. I was gonna save this couch cuz i think it would actually work well in my house. Anyways..i got home..and even my uncle said we'd walk over there and just carry it back...but i decided to wait for alfred. Well...we were just in time. Once we got there, we saw this other truck drive by and give us a cold stare cus we had just beat them to it. We put the couch on the roof of the car and i sat ass out of the passenger seat wind surfing and holding the couch (guess ropes would have been smart...but hey..it was 2 blocks away). It was beautiful...really. I felt really good with the wind running past my face and hair...holding this furniture...and just enjoying the moment. In all its craziness...there was warmth...and thanks..for my uncle and cousin who came to help me. I've very fortunate...
so...we checked out the couch (pic below)..and it looks pretty good..minus this one cut in the pillow. No matter anyways..cuz this weekend i'll buy enough fabric to make a throw over it...and it will fit on the third wall. Well...after that adventure, I made dinner (ok..it was canned chili and rice...dennisons yumm)...for all of us. They were actually amazed at how good the chili really was.





Zapped - Daily Kindness, Sometimes its the lil things - So...some of you may wonder what my big facination with the movie Zapped is. I guess you can say it was one of the things that movies that brings back memories of my childhood. Story is about a nerd (cough..cough)..that in a freak science lab accident gets telekinetic powers. Of course this isn't a superhero story..but he puts his powers to good use =p...like disrobing the school girls, hitting homeruns on the softball team, and many other pranks. Course its a love story too...yeah..i'm a sap. But it had like a really good soundtrack too (hence why i was happy with Rico's gift). Well...since that time...i decided to check out Ebay for Zapped stuff and i found that there is an Asian import DVD. WOW..i had 18 hours on it..so i asked my coworker who does a lot of ebay stuff..and ask if she'll bid/buy it for me. Well...she didn't have paypal..and i waited too long...but in the last 15 minutes of the auction/sale...Rich came through for me. (Thanks Rich!). He put in the purchase for me...and even while i he was doing that...i found the movie RAD...and he put in the purchase for that movie as well. Way cool!.. Anyways...ebay is evil..cuz then i found the cutting edge soundtrack..and possibly bootleg Zapped CD as well. Anyways Rich has it saved on his list...while he checks bit torrent for the albums first....oh...and about my coworker...she's the sweetest...just like a mom to me here...always looking out for me. Anyways..i told her i had this sore shoulder a few days ago..and she gave me this $200 worth massage gift certificate that she had gotten as a gift a while back. She said she was never gonna use it..and for me to just have it. SWEET! Of course..i'm gonna take her to dinner or something in thanks.

Yeah..I admit i have been very fortunate in life...


Beautiful things
Family, Alfred, My uncle, couch saving, and Rich. Course...my chats with Karen as well this past week. Monday is coming soon....

Weekend Recap (well..before this next weekend starts)..

Wow...this weekend was soo much fun. Started out with Clubbing on Friday, Wine Tasting and Family Saturday, ending with Church and family on Sunday. (yeah..i did say church *shakes head*)

Fri - Sat

So..after picking up Ed and riding down with Andre and genh to SD..we decide to meet up with Martin at PB Bar and Grill. I used to love that place...but this time..they gave me crap about wearing sweats (thats what happens when you use the club entrance side..to avoid the long bar line)..and it smelled of locker room sweat in there. Ugg.. Anyways...got to chill for a lil bit with the wine tasting crew and Le Thu..before we just decided to head home since there were too many sweaty people bumping into us. um...yeah...gotta find a new club for SD.
Anyways, Sat morning we headed out to the ATM to get some cash before we got started on the wine tasting. While we were there i noticed there was a Jollibee there..and suggested to go there for breakfast. (didn't think we'd actually do it - but spaghetti and hot dogs did hit the spot =p). I love being Filipino and being able to speak Tagalog...cuz i think that made it easier for me to ask to barrow the Jollibee plush you'll see in the pics. Lately been feeling a lot more carefree about things.

Well after breakfast, we start heading off to temecula. The drive wasn't too bad...and soon we were at our first winery. Personally i thought i was more of a red wine drinker..but i soon learn what i had an affinity for...and that was Muscat. Course there is also the chocolate ports...and the almond champagne. Anyways..as ed said...wine tasting is all about the group of people you go with..and everyone there was hella fun. So..after wrapping up at the first winery..we decided to go on to the next one. We did a total of 5 that day..and each one was great. I picked out a couple favorites...and now just have to hit a Trader Joes to pick them up. Memories of the trip will be a van load of people singing DMX - "Up in here!" and Pitbull - "Culo", the sourdough bread with the brie center, and Ed's lessons on the differences between champagne/sparkling wine and Scotch/Whiskey.
After the trip, i made a visit to the Rodriguez home where my aunt was having a party for her sons. Donny came with me and we reminisced on how nice family parties are...and of course the good food. I watched as people played Taboo and just spent the time relaxing. Soon after...headed back home with alfred, brenda, and mantha. That nite i went home to Cerritos.

Sun -
Well..as i said...i did go to church today. Now...it wasn't by any real calling from above..but rather cuz i was asked to evaluate the rectory for network connectivity. It also gave me a chance to meet the new pastor and such. Anyways..as soon as i got in..i was reminded of the hypocrisies of why i don't go. People who profess to do good works during that one hour on sundays..but don't really live it. Yes dear...I'd rather be spiritual everyday than one day a week. Case in point...course the church should be welcoming...right? Well..i came in..and just stood in the back...cuz i would rather listen to my dad at children's liturgy than listen to the priest usually. Actually..i was gonna stay..just to see if things had changed..but something happen that made me want to leave.

so...this parishioner comes into the church...quickly sits down in the pew and begins to listen to the sermon. The door ushers in the back begin making snide remarks...joking cuz the guy is still wearing his baseball cap. "oh..i didn't we where having batting practice at church"...then the newbie guy makes a motion as to ask him to remove his cap...during which he is stopped by the other cronies. Anyways..i could just be blowing this out of proportion..but i seriously doubt the Lord cares if you're wearing a baseball cap or not....least not the Lord i believe in. Anyways..these ushers have been there forever...so kinda get an idea what mass is like for that Parish. "blah blah blah..the church needs money....religious fund...pope's mission.."...DUDE...jesus did it as a pauper...wish people remembered that one..ai ya

anyways..i decided to leave..and find my dad and sis at children's liturgy. Its not the easiest of jobs..but my dad does his best. Well..i was catching the end of it..so i eventually had to head back to the main building (children's liturgy is done in an adjacent hall). Well..i didn't feel right about going back to the main part..so i thought to myself...Jesus loved children....why not.....so i headed to the children/crying room.

Ok..for those that don't know..sometimes there is a seperate sound proof "crying" room in some churches..where kids and infants can be locked away...so that they won't disturb/wake up the rest of the "believers". Well..in that room..i had my beautiful experience....

I met this unnamed Asian Boy..





Man..he was the cutest lil boy. We ended up playing peek a boo with in the pews for the course of the mass. He even did some navy seal moves scurrying in the aisles. It was great...and it was during that time i was reminded of Karen and finding the beauty in anything. This boy...it was just amazing. To me..that is what religion is all about. Living there..enjoying the moment....just life being beautiful. He made my whole morning...but it wasn't even done yet. He waved goodbye to me as he had to leave and i was touched. Who knows..maybe i'll see him again next time...and if i do go back to church...it will likely be the crying room again.

Anyways..being in such a giddy mood...the day continued to be good. I tagged along with mantha and mila to have lunch with ann at CPK. Anyways...mila and I had a fun time ordering from the children's menu and just acting foolish...(ok..it was just me acting foolish as mantha could probably tell you).. It was a lot of fun..just hanging out and eating. I had to take this pic of mila to capture the momenet.




Hey..she got a menu and crayons too =p. Well..after lunch..we headed back home...and I decided to call up Rico and chill with him. OMG...now that i think about it..this was a really really good weekend. Anyways..i chilled with Rico watching some DVDs when he surprised me with my belated Bday gift. You CANNOT imagine what he got me....cuz i've been looking for it FOREVER. Anyways..it was the ZAPPED movie soundtrack (on vinyl). Man..i was soo happy. happy . happy . happy....and really it wasn't about the actual item..it was cuz i knew that Rico knew and understood me. He listens...it was a sense of validation. So now...I just need to get the album to my friend to port to MP3 format..and i'll be able to actually listen to it. I'm very fortunate to have all these beautiful people around me...really..i am.

Well..after that..i even had a nice time with my mom and sis. We ended up watching "A Cinderella Story". The movie was "ok"..but the family time was the better part of it.


Beautiful things
Karen (for all your IMs this week), Martin (for planning) and the Wine Tasting Crew, Nameless Asian Church boy, Mila, and Rico

Yeah!
Big thanks to Rich for letting me lift from his template...so that i could finally fix this blog. (no more excessive indenting of posts)

Anyways..i have much to talk about...but i'll have to find some time to do so.
Busy at work....Researching for this blog..Missing Karen..but for the most part things are going well.

Finding the beauty in things everyday...thanks to someone....but that post will be coming soon.

In the meantime, this template is still in works...


But to keep you occupied...here are the pics from the Culo - Wine Tasting.(click pic -must have ofoto account...just get one =p)

 Its Friday...its friday....yeah!
 
Ok..enough with the gratuitous glee...ai ya...sorry..just in a weird mood. Actually woke up fully rested...got things done before work..and now just sitting at work..waiting for the weekend. (weekend plans: heading down to SD this weekend for Wine Tasting with Martin..and likely a family event on Sat.).  
 
Anyways...a recap for this week.
 
Missing Karen...yeah..that was going on all week. I did get a few moments to talk to her...and the more that i do learn about her...the more in love i feel. Yes..i did say love. The greatest part about it is that she isnt' afraid of it like most other people are... anyways...i'm wishing she was back here......and also hoping she's enjoying her trip.
 
Well..i couldn't just mope around all week...(ok..it was only monday)...so i decided to do some other things.
 
Tues -
so..i met this guy at Big 5 when i bought my punching bag. Pretty cool guy..just a bit rough around the edges...so..i am taking him under my wing and gonna be his kuya. I bring that up cuz i invited him to come kick it with us on Tuesday when i went to play basketball with Andre. Big Ed, Ed (diesel), Harold, Jonathan (big5), my cousin, and even Al came thru. It was cool..running again. We had a pretty good game with this group there...but they chicken out on a rematch when they won by 2.(close game...punks). After the game, headed out to Manhattan Beach with Al to hang with my friend Mark and some other people. It was cool just kicking back and hanging with Al again....been too long. Anyways...the cool part of the nite was while we were eating...someone asked how Al knew me. (Granted, Mark's coworkers are in the late 20s..wondering how Al (22) would hang with me). This was of course after they were already impressed at how at such a young age he had such a direction in his life - persuing teaching and his masters degree at the same time. Al's response.."Ray taught me how to speak". It was simplicity...and the truth. Granted..it garnered an explaination. So Al detailed.... and i recollected how when i first met him...how he too was very "rough" around the edges. I swear his was a thug..talking about running things here and there..homies..this and that.... But...the fact is...i saw beyond that. I see into most people...and take them for what they truly are...and Al...well...Al is beautiful. i didn't do anything to change him really...he came to me to ask me things. Together...he learned things..and i learned things from him. He was the potential...i just helped him focus. I'm so proud of him..you wouldnt believe. Now he knows the show..and how to run it. He's definately one of my homies for life..

Wed-
humm..i fell asleep on my work phone call....=p. Ok..ok..it was at 8am....and it was a late nite. Well ...things at work are good. They are entrusting me with more responsibilites..and i've been volunteering and become more reliable to the big guys. I'll hope to see it when my bonus comes around..but personally...just loving the job. My coworkers are great.. This day i also got recruited to work a project that included all time zones - Boston, Pasadena, and London...in a restore of one of our primary servers. Talk about crazy...but yeah. The best part of the nite thought was hanging out with my Sis. She truly is my best friend. There are times where we just don't see eye to eye..but through it all...i love her no less. Sometimes it may not feel like it..but i am here for you sis...when you need. I hope she gets to meet the right people in helping out her friend in LA.
 
Thur-
So..since the late hours working that project..i was able to go home early. When i got home I saw my uncle from accross the street...riding his bike. It was like 100 degrees outside..and he was wearing this fleece black sweater, hat and sunglasses. He told me he was going off to buy burritos for my aunt..cuz she called and said she was hungry. Unfortunately there was no food in the house so he had to get something. When i asked him why he was wearing the sweater since it was soooooo hot...he said he knew...but he didn't want to get sunburn.  soo cute.
I've had issues with my uncle..cuz of things he's done in the past...but being so close to him now you can't help but love him. I see that way he lives, treats others, treats his family..and there is no doubt that its all love in his heart. I thank my auntie for helping me understand that. He's been my project partner for the house...and things are going well with that too.
anyways..after waiting so long for auntie to finally come home...we stepped out to check out circuit city and home depot...followed by dinner at Ordonez.
 
House project -
I'm concentrating on the living room. I think its all gonna come together. Probably gonna head to downtown LA next weekend to get the fabric for the curtains and furniture. Once i get the right color, I'll match the crown molding to that red. Also gonna consult an electrician about the lighting..and home theatre speakers..
Also have to build a mantle over the fireplace to hold the TV. Final step will probably be the floor. I'll give myself a couple months to pull it all together...assuming i stop going out each weekend.
 
Fri -
Today...well..its been going well. But now i'm done with this post..and gonna read my book.
 
and now...dedicated to Karen..who can see the beauty in things...and found it in me (god...sooo mushy)..
 
Something Beautiful for the Day (in this case, week)
Al, my uncle, my sister, Jon (big5)

wow...things have been really crazy lately. Anime Expo came and went....can't say it was seemless or stress-less...but it wasn't. That weekend was quite a change for me.

I've been pondering the con..for sometime now. Its been the foundation of many of my relationshops..but the convention itself has lost its fun. The only joy i get from it is hanging out with my ventura friends...and meeting new people at the con. I now have to weigh those joys with the stress i get from the powers above. It comes back to stress. The stress you feel is what you make of it...so now its up to me to decide what i want to do about it.

The other thing that happened is that i met someone. Almost instantaneously...i found myself caring a lot about this girl. Meet Karen. Even in such a short time she's been pretty much amazing for me...as someone to be able to talk to and share things with. Things with her have been great even though its been for a few days after AX. Unfortunately she's off in Thailand and Vietnam right now...then eventually school in Boston. Really hard when your heart starts running...and your brain hasn't had time to catch up yet...but sometimes we tend to overthink things. For now...i just know what i feel...and am hoping for the best.

Miss you hon

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh........

Still recovering...but had a great time at AX this weekend. Well..its wasn't for the politics or anything else...but mostly about the people. Lot of things happening...quite the emotional roller coaster. Made some friends...made up with old ones....and the world seems better now. Saw the fireworks and felt some myself. It got pretty crazy there at times..but i'm glad my AX family was there to help me out and come through for me. It was also nice to see my bro and sis as well. Blair Witching each nite (too bad i missed the last one)...and being called kuya ray again...wow..this weekend was really just amazing. Shouts to all my friends that stopped by as well (Martin, Donny, Abigail, HT, Judy)...hope you enjoyed the show.

My family


Favorite line of the weekend

Somebody give me a band-aid...cuz i'm so cut (streching his arms) - Jeffrey (c/o your kuya ray). HAHAHAHAH

*strrrrretch*

Oh man..i though i had blogged in this a few times already...but seems like i've been too busy. Humm..what was i gonna say...ahh..just some notes and updates.

First off..i broke my hand...or..was that the window...ahh ..yea...i broke my window with my hand =p. I wish i could say it was in a fit of anger...or hitting the old baseball...or something more creative....but basically i put my hand thru it. I was showing my aunt..how the window gets jammed..and u needed to knock the top to free it up, but ended up putting my hand thru the 1/8 glass. Not too bad...but got a pretty nasty cut. Its still healing now. The cool part about it is how it added to the house rebuilding experience.

Honestly..its been great. I love being across the street to my aunt and uncle now. Wow..my uncle. He's just amazing when it comes to building stuff. I saw it the first time when he helped me change the water line for the fridge. Most recently though he helped me hang my hammock (its great!!) and replace that glass. I was actually worried about forking out a couple grand to replace everything completely (all the windows)...but the $20 it took to replace the glass eased my worries for now. While hanging out with Bren, I also got lamps for the room. The vision of the living room is coming together..and i can't wait till its all done.

La La La La...

Yeah..i'm at work...but i'm currently not inspired. There are things for me to do, but i just don't feel like doing them. I'm lucky that in my position, i can balance these down times..and even work if i have to...that it doesn't affect work performance too much. Either way...i'm still in a lull. Therefore..I decided to post.=p

Good news...I came back from my second appt with my doctor. After reviewing the MRI..seems he was right stating that i only had a case of Bursitis. It doesn't hurt as much anymore, thought it still can be tender at times. I'm just glad it wasn't a muscle tear or anything. Well, I have no excuse anymore to not work out.=)
Also..my hammock came in today. Yeah! can't wait to test it out soon. Almost feel like setting it up here in my office.
I think i've come to a resolution on the sound system for the living room as well. I need to get a 6 speaker system and an amp. Thing is, I'll need to set it up so i can switch cables around depending on room orientation. Man...so much to think about...but least i do that now...before i have holes in my walls.

I wish i could be at home watching buffy right now. It'd be more entertaining than sitting here on my ass. Well..guess i'll try to be productive now.

yeah..its all coming together.

This weekend was cool. I invited the AX crew over to the house for a BBQ. Some of the guys came over friday nite and we sat and chilled over hot sake. Thanks to Bren for cooking it up the next day and providing the asian movies all weekend. I've got to say, there is Asian movies are soo much better than what the US puts out (as far as emotional dramas). They seem to really know how to reach a person. I mean..come on...nothing can beat My Sassy Girl (current favorite romantic movie). We watched Sex is zero and started to watch My love slave. Funny how event the specifically funny movies still have the romantic thread under it.

Anyways..the projector idea worked really well and now thinking of keeping the walls white to make for a better image. Also just bought and put together a 3 shelve cabinet that will soon host the entertainment system. Yipee..contructed all by my lonesome (granted the pieces where pre-drilled). The first project room is coming together well.

ahh..more friday fun stuff...


http://www.pinkystar.com/pds/contents/solo/200401/ttws3.wmv

Transformers Dance Video

This one isn't funny..more touching...but i can't stop watching it. Damn Asian movies/videos.

Kiss - Because I'm a girl.

wow...the week is almost over...soo...time for a brief recap

Busy week at work...things are getting done. Pistons won! Yeah...the true epitomy of a team. Funny how right after the Lakers lose, their team is coming apart. Who's coming back, will they want to. Dude..i read an article stating that Jerry Buss left before the end of the third quarter. What kind of loyalty is that?? Guess its just like all the other bandwagon Laker fans. I do give the utmost respect to those true laker fans that stick by them...always. Anyways...enough of that.

So..i figured i'd try to work out again. I actually made it to the gym today. Ugg..hate it. This gym in pasadena SUCKS. Looks like a bomb shelter. So...i figured since the place was packed...i'd just hit the pool. Guess what..that was busy too. Sat in the jacuzzi for a while...but the whole thing just sucked. Guess I'll have to find the best time to be there..or look for another location.

After that i scored on my free coupons from Ralphs. They sent the "welcome to the neighborhood" package. Soo..came home with some air fresheners, paper towels, fried chickens and some eggs. Plus of course...got a good stock of cereal and milk =p. (shit man..it was 4 for $10 coco puffs).

Well...been buying a lot of stuff online. My Buffy 6 and Smallville 2 came in...and most fun was the Pentax Optio s40. Yeah! Funy though..the one thing i'm just anxiously waiting...is my hammock. Yup..i got one...it'd be perfect for the house..and its 2 person ^_-. I need to just set that up..and relax in the backyard..under the tree.

Well..thats enough for now... The boys are coming over tomorrow for movie and sake. Then we have BBQ on sat and Brenda's graduation party.

One more to go....



Soo...there you have it everyone...one more to go..and its gonna be an exciting one. I don't remember the last time I've been so hyped about the Finals. Less about the fact that I'm a Laker hater, but really..the core of it all..i think the reason i enjoy this Finals is about how Larry Brown coaches. I mean...the reason why i hate the Lakers is mainly about Kobe. Now..dont' get me wrong..he's definately got skills...and if i ever had to choose someone for a pick up game...i'd want him on my team. But really..thats all the current Lakers really are....Shaq and Kobe. I have much respect for the "non-stars" of the Lakers...Fisher, Walton, past members Van Excel, Jones, Horry...those are all players..with team in mind. Just doesn't seem that way with the Lakers now..and we can see that in these finals. Ohh..and honestly the thing that pissed me off the most was acquiring Malone and Payton. As if you didn't have enough "star" power..lets just over power. Funny thing..doesn't seem to have paid off so far.

Enter the Pistons. I'll admit, before the Finals even started, i figured the Lakers had it again... Didn't really know the Pistons..and really didn't care. I was actually hoping more that the Timberwolves would have taken it as far as teams in these finals...but then..i watched...and i was impressed.

These players..are a team. Passes, fundamentals, basically..they scored. They killed the Laker offense..and simply scored at will. It was nothing fancy. Most of their players are relative unknowns....but hey..they're up 3-1 over the Laker Destiny Team with 4 future Hall of Famers.

Soo..the only sad thing is see...is no more Basketball games..till next year. Hopefully Andre will start up that league and i can start balling again. I'll see if i can sport the Iverson again...for Larry Brown. Now..if Jackson can go coach the Clippers to a championship..then i'll be impressed.

GO PISTONS

Some funnys for Friday..enjoy

http://www.ti55.net/telling/jg/why.htm


http://www.yasuhide.com/incoming/bbs/2004-06-06/1636482698/japanese.wmv

Also...wearing the Iverson Jersey today...Yeah..

Cuz of the awesome game last nite...and the black-Road version for memorial of Reagan.

arrrr....need to sleep.
I am pulling an all niter...just like back in the days of college. Why?..well..since u asked...here is the reason.

Monday nite i went to dinner with my friend Mark. We kinda trade off, covering dinner...trying to find cool places to eat. Well..correction.. Mark always chooses Nozawa - the sushi nazi. Me on the other hand...like to experiment and find new places. Some really cool places... spaghettini, Mastro's, and now...our favorite one...Ruth Chris. I had heard of Ruth Chris a while back..but had never gone there. Actually was thinking of going with friends sometime next month...but hey..it was mark's turn to foot the bill..so why not just try it now.

OMG

It was sooooo good. The ambiance was a bit off..since we were in woodland hills. Doesn't feel like a classy steak house when person on the other table is in a wife beater..and the girl in the booth is in a football jersey. Either way..it was all about the food anyways.

Started off with the stuff mushroom and crabcakes. ohhhhhhhh the crabcakes......never had crab soo good. We then moved on to the main course. I had the Ribeye, Mark had the petite filet. Both equally good. I think i need to change my meat preference back to medium rare. I typically go medium..but i think do that just to make sure its actually cooked. (can't really trust those Norm's and denny's chefs =p) The steaks with a side of mash potatoes...and creamed spinach au gratin. I really would have preferred a corn side dish..but its not offered. Well..bagged up the leftovers..cuz had to save room for dessert. I had the better choice..with the chocolate sin cake...although the apple tart mark ordered wasn't bad. Man..*shakes head*...that chocolate sin cake. It now tops as my most favorite dessert. All yummy. Can you believe that they even called mark the next day to ask if he had a pleasurable dining experience. WOW...5 star service.

Well..after dinner..i had to sit and digest at Mark's place (food coma). Started watching initial D...while fixing his computer. Ran into some problems...enough to keep me there till 2am...but finished it up. Then i got told by mark that my reverse lights stay lit while i'm driving. Oh man...as if i didn't spend enough on this car. Well..although minor..i remember the hoops i had to jump for my last fix it ticket..and decided i should handle it soon.

So...since i only trust this one mechanic back in cerritos...i decided to drive back there that nite...(now 4am). Of course..this is a perrfect auto service...so that means if i'm not there at opening 8am...i can pretty much blow away my whole day. Therefore..not wanting to miss it...i stayed up. The short ending of this story..is that..i used to have the lights on all the time...but now they don't come on at all. Its disabled till Sat when we can install a new reverse light switch (original name eh?)

Now...you may ask...what the heck...what is all this rambling...

well...much like alcohol...lack of sleep can really lower inhibitions. Now...i'm one about appearances...tact...social norm...etc. Things out of place seem weird to me...
but get me drunk or in this state...watch my mouth. Some of the shit that pours out...can't help but laugh. Smart ass city...and all the catholic boys high school momma jokes just start to flow. Plus...just talk and talk and talk. then i just have a bunch of energy just need to release...which usually takes form in shadow boxing. I like to think of this as my adrenaline rush. A lot more things get done..but concentration and focus tends to decrease.

Gonna leave soon...try to get some sleep in between the game. bye

Reflections on this weekend...and laughing


This weekend had its fair share of lows and revelations...but i think i ended up finding myself in a good spot.


Lows
A couple things i realized about myself this weekend:
a) i don't like being lied to. I guess that even applies to my perception that i am being deceived. Personally...I say...Just be straight with me. If you want to do something...do it. Don't think ur clever and "hiding" it from me. Could i be wrong...maybe...but this is just how i feel.

b) i don't really need to beat my head into a wall for something. There is something that i would like...that i've made whatever effort i could to achieve...but its just not being reciprocated. I find myself getting hurt more...and am being a masochist about it...maybe a lil. Misunerstandings or not...i'm still feeling hurt over it. Maybe i think its because its worth it....but now i'm not gonna kill myself over it. I'm just going to live life as it is...and try to remove the negativity.

c) I guess i picked up some of my mom's stubbornness as well. Back in the days..even if we had a family party, graduations, and such...even though we all "knew" it was a family event...unless my mom got the invite..she didnt go. I totally accepted and understood how she felt. I mean..come on..its a family event....but no one wants to be somewhere if they aren't wanted. I also understand its hard to include everyone to.
Case in point was my friend Kristine's Wedding. We were close friends..from what i "believed"...but yet i didn't get invited to the wedding. I came up with all excuses for them...money...time...etc...just to help ease my mind from feeling left out. When i actually did go (as a guest of someone else)...i couldn't help but feel bitter and hurt...(that was for the first few hours)...but in the end...i was happy to be there for them. I would have even taken a "i wanted u to come...but i have a limited guest list"...least i wouldn't feel deceived (back to low #1)


Anyways..to the revelation this weekend..
So..as i was on the phone on Sat..talking to Rico and later to Bren...it hit me. Here I was...ranting..."i couldn't believe this"..."who does he think he is"..."i told them about it last year"..."whats going on"...
Whats going on.....
Whats going on.....
I thought to myself...what the heck am i doing? (ok..i used fuck..but i need to cut down on the swearing)

Then it hit me....this stuff is so trival..its Bullshit. Why?..why? am i even wasting energy on this. I waste my energy..thinking this...thinking that...what does it accomplish in the end. Its just plain stupid. My motto now...fuck it...just cut the bullshit. And it was at that point..that i just started laughing to myself. It was soo simple...yet took me so long to get there.

So..in regards to the lows...
a. If you think your hiding something from me...go ahead. If it makes you feel any better...then good for u. Just be straight with me...and i'll always be straight with u.

b. I'm still here when your ready brother...i'm just not gonna sit and hurt myself over it anymore more. I've made my peace...

c. Recognize everyone has their "group"..and i may or may not be a part of it. I'm always open to invitation...as you all are with me. I don't blame anyone for not being included...i'm just not gonna dance around the issues anymore.

So..there it is...
I finished my book from Mantha...Tuesdays with Morrie. Loved it...
It also influenced me on some of this perspective. Life is short....and i'd rather spend it enjoying it..rather than worrying about it.

Don't get me wrong..this weekend was a lot of fun...just glad to be where i am mentally.

Happy bday Joe and Traci
Congratulations Joe, Bojo, Becca, Jack and other APO peeps I know graduating
RIP Ronald Reagan

And..oh yeah....
Congrats Pistons... Wish i could have been watching the game with everyone..but probably would have gotten beer poured on me. (which..when u think about it..isn't soo bad). jk.

Damn...i hate TV.
Ever since i've gotten the cable in the front room...i find myself stuck in front of it. I should really consider if i want to put one in my room or not...humm...hope blogging will at least stimulate my mind somehow.

Anyways...GO PISTONS. hey guys...like i said...i tried. The Lakers are a good team...i'll give u that. There is just something about them..that i just can't seem to go for. Anyways...i've already said i was a laker hater...but u know what..a team i hate more than the lakers is the Pacers. SOOOO...i was really glad when they lost to the Pistons. These NBA finals are pretty much over...since the West is always better than the East....but I'm hoping that they are just some good games.

The weekend was pretty chill. Bren came over one Sat nite...and we watched some Korean movies. Pretty cool...kicking back. The next day we headed out to the AX BBQ. The event was poorly attended...and i found myself spending my time in a pick up game with some local kids to pass the time. Being there without the rest of the AX family was a bit weird...but then again, AX in general has been a bit lack luster. After scoring some free stuff, we decided to head out to PMX. I honestly don't think i can really "attend" cons anymore. I just get super bored. Seeing everyone in the ConOps room was really cool. I miss them all. Its been a while since i'd seen the ventura group. It felt like old times. personally I felt out of place...but that is something for me to discuss with someone....but overall...just being there was enough. Anyways...got to hang out with Bren, meet up with Sam and Angie...and meet this super cute girl. My big problem is WHY..WHY...WHY...are all the cute girls from Norcal. I swear...must be something in the water or something. Doubt it will go anywhere..but we'll have to see. Anyways...go to see Psycho Le Cemu in concert (pretty cool..weird costumes..but they seem like fun). Watched Battle Royal (crazy ass movie)...and head back to PMX on Sunday again. On sunday, i was able to reconnect with most of the peeps..just while they where working. The weekend was over...and bren and I got back around 4am.

Monday..i went to Cerritos. Its been some time and I was actually missing everyone. Well...seemed like nothing had changed. Spent most of the time with hanging with Cube and Dad. I miss my puppy =(. I really need to figure how I'll get things together here. Just unfortunate cuz i know i'm hardly around for him. Dinner with my Dad was good. Caught the Laker game at El Torito. Well...the Finals start again on Sunday...and its almost like classic BBall... Magic and Isiah days.

yeah..long weekend...and much planned...well..things we could go to at least. Tonite Bren and I just kicked it watching Asian movies. Much better than most American cinema. AX BBQ Sat, Andre's BBQ on Sunday, who know what...but MON is off. =)

Shoulder still killing me...but least i'll see a doctor on Tues. Missing family and the dog....prob gonna see them this weekend. Had a good talk with a friend today...bringing in new perpective to things. Only thing is taking action. I'll just enjoy the moment..and see what it brings.

Hummm...stream of consciousness writing....cuz i'm really too tired to edit.

So it begins...sitting here...watching Chappelle show. Funny shit...really. Just came back from dinner...that was cool too. Not sure what i'm doing anymore.....reading a book. "Tuesdays with Morrie". Easy read...favorite part had to be "once you learn how to die...you learn how to live"...

Such the truism....living life to the moment....still bothered by something that happend earlier this week...it bugs... I know I'm in a good space...content...not exactly satisfied...and not exactly yearning either. Not looking forward to be complacent....looking for the future challenges...

I got this house once i put my mind to do it...i know i can acheive my goals...now i just need to set myself with one.....seems like lists work well for me.....ways i can identify..and simply cross things off as i acheive them...

Now to just make the list.

Yeah!! After another hour with the cable company...but this time it all works. Lil by lil, the house is starting to come together. (no i need to call about the garbage disposal).

Another family dinner at my house...and it went cool. Had fun playing Cranium.

Got really organized at work..so now...work work work. Couldn't even get off the phone with someone in NZ...to start the game with my cousins. Anyways..got an early morning phone call...so gonna pass out. Nite.

arrrg.
An hour and more with the Cable company...then with linksys. I was hoping the cable-modem/wireless router would pick up real easy. Not...so now i'll have to exchange it to see if it really was the device that was the problem.
Anyways...i'll try to compose myself to get something written for my audience..and my muse. So...about this weekend...=p
As i said...Friday was cool. Got to go to a friends wedding. Unfortunately i wasn't really invited to it...and that hurt...but i guess i can understand. There was a limited number of people that they could invite. In retrospect..i think it would have been nice to at least hear about it...cuz i would gladly accept the lack of space reasoning. Anyways...i got invited as Rico's guest..so i was still able to attend. This person is a friend from UCR...so i did get to catch up with some old friends from there. The odd part of the nite was keeping up with Rico. We got to meet this newly engaged couple from the PI. In our drunken stupor, we were talking about girls in the US...and assumptions about those in the PI. It was pretty funny mostly..but some truisms. That nite ended off with my leaving my email with the lady to pass around to her friends. *hey...no reason not to try...*

Saturday was the House Themeing party...and it went better than i expected. Didn't really know what to expect...and things came together last minute. I've just been really fortunate to have good family and friends. Thanks to all my cousins for handling kitchen duty, Mark for being the BBQ-King, everyone that brought something (food, gifts)...and for everyone that just came out for the day.

Although i found myself giving tours most of the day..i was kinda disappointed i didn't get to sit and talk with everyone much. (reason for the next get together =p). It was a bit scary seeing all my different circles of friends in one space. There was a coworkers circle, UCR-FV friends area, family, neighbors, and just about everyone. Fortunately i try to hang with nice peeps..so most people got along. Personally..i'm just glad its all over..so i can relax now. I got a lot of cool ideas..so plan on future home improvement "parties".

Sunday...went to Ikea to check out designs. It was cool...giving me a bunch of different ideas for the rooms. Afterwards...watched the game. Sorry guys...i tried...thought i could somehow become a laker fan...but...nope...*shakes head*...just couldn't do it. I'm still knot sure if i have NBA team i'd like to follow. Still a sixers fan..cuz of iverson and snow. Not sure if iverson is staying anymore..so that doesn't help. Used to be a kings fan...namely cuz they were cool last year...and a challenge for the lakers...but i don't see that either. I remember the days of Knicks...with Spreewell, Houston, Camby, Starks...thats the hard part about following something. People changing...esp when you're following the people.
Anyways...i should have been working this hour that I posted...oh well...more to talk about later.