Well this was an interesting weekend. Did two things I haven't done in a long time. 1. Went to Church and... 2. Go on an (extended) family event. Kinda odd when you think about it.

First off, the Church thing. I was born and raised devout Catholic. All thru elementary and High School, I went thru religious education. Even when my mom couldn't get me to a Catholic school, I was sent to a Lutheran school for kindergarden and second grade. My mom is a strict catholic that tends to follow by the letter of the Church; church every Sunday, no communion if you haven't gone to confession, etc. and she raised my family and I in the same respect. I was an alterboy thru elemetary school and actually enjoyed it. I went to an all boys catholic high school..by my own choice. I felt an extreme closeness to God and felt I was doing my best to serve him. Now don't get me wrong..I wasn't THAT moved that I was going around converting people or heading out on missions...but I feel that religion is a personal thing and I felt comfortable with my relationship. It was cool...how many masses have you gone to where U2 was played as the communion song...(gotta love St. John Bosco and their progressive priests).

Well that all changed after college. I still went to mass for most of my years at college, but really lost it when I got back home. Much to my mom's dismay, my relationship with organized religion (my local parish specifically) had gone sour. I still believe in God and do what I can to be good (mostly =P)..but I can't say that I can do the church thing. After talking with my bro...it went a lil deeper than that..but maybe I'll get into it later. The only reason why I went (woke up) this time was to bring my cousin mila to mass. (I said I just didn't go...not that I'm the anti-christ)

Ok..about the family thing. Growing up as a military brat (yeah..thats what we're called)...I didn't really get to experience a lot of those childhood memories of growing up with all the neighborhood kids. My parents were always moving and I was sent to live with my aunts. The memories of childhood were sleepovers and hanging out with all my cousins (Bojo, Miko, Ate Grace, Ate Evelyn, Kuya Edwin, The Kuyas (Kerwin, Keithley). The Kuyas were like my older brothers to me..always playing basketball, teaching me tennis, and the ever popular Kung Fu/Wrestling. It was because of them that I felt that when I grew up, I wanted to be just like them. They were my role models. Every weekend was a fun filled event. Movies, outings, Disneyland, and even trips to Washington and Mount Rushmore (never got to go to mount rushmore). I may never have had "neighborhood" friends...but my extended family made up for it. We were always together.

Those experiences changed as we all grew older. In retrospect, I can understand how and why it happens, but you really couldn't explain it to me at 13. My only friends had been my family...and back then..that was all I had. As my cousins began spending more and more time with "their" friends, I began to feel replaced. I remember the feelings of jealosy and hurt when I wasn't included in a trip to an amusement park because my cousin was going with his friends from school. That was just the beginning. In high school as thru elementary school, I was a hermit. I went to school and went back home. I envied my brother and sister because they had such a good relationship with their classmates. I never had a sleepover, nor was I invited to one. I pretty much kept to myself and everyone kept away from me. ( I wasn't a social freak or anything..i just didn't hang out with friends beyond school time..and yeah..I was a nerd). Going to an all boy high school didn't help with the social inadequacies either. Well...family events became fewer, as my cousins started having their own families. Throw in a family arguement here and there..and you basically have a split family. Christmas becomes dinner, with a couple of carols here and there, but mostly different family members in different rooms all watching different tv specials. So this weekend...to keep my cousing company, I went to San Diego to visit my cousins. We've all grown up a lot and changed, but overall it was an ok experience. Obviously, we're not running in the yard thru the sprinklers anymore...but sometimes I wish we could (sniff).