killing some time...trying to avoid traffic.
welcome jojo to the blogging world =p. I think you're gonna have too much fun with this...and yes..this update is for you.

Jojo got me hooked on launch radio on yahoo....now i don't need cable anymore.
I got a free trip to Japan in Jan...so looking forward to that. Need to go update the Passport and stuff.

finishing up a bunch of lessons in my Dreamweaver book..so again (like you haven't heard it already), expect a site update soon.
Oh yeah..getting back into tennis too...that was hella cool. Looking for anyone that wants to play out in Westwood during the week.

Let me know... =)

Video of the moment: Justin Timberlake: Cry me a River

Man...wonder if I can pull off that haircut...tried it once..but didn't like it too much.
And sam..yeah..after watching Friends last nite...i admit..i'm definately Ross. =p

Also realized that I mumble. Maybe thats why I like IM a lot. I was told I had a soft voice...I said...its calming. But I do project...when i do public speaking...
but when ur chilln with the homies...don't need to feel like yelling. But yeah...working on that as well. Maybe people should call more ^_-

OK..better find something more to kill time. I may just start daily updates. Prob look like this:

Work..ok..
thats pretty much it.
but I find ways to make it entertaining. Either that or outside activities.

PS - Al's your off the link list for never updating. You call anyways.
Diana...I'm glad ur site came back up...I'll have to IM you sometime.

Time....guess i've had some time to just stop and think lately. Lot of things I've wanted to say...and just really haven't. I think this post is gonna be a stream of conscious post..so not exactly sure where this will lead...but guess i'll begin.

First the basics. Yeah..still alive. Actually been busy at work...so I tell everyone that asks me how I'm doing. I've gotten my review..and it was good..and at the same time got more responsibilities covering the Austrailian and New Zealand offices. Cool accents mates. =). That plus getting a bunch of new people at the office...thats pretty much been most of my time.

I've reduced most of my obligations/ties/responsibilities. No longer APO sec chair...and since then have just been relaxing. Still have a couple of responsibilities (regionals advisor/Membership chair), but everything is managable. Anime Expo is done...for this year. Been doing a lot of stuff with members from there. Lately though...haven't had much motivation. Expo is a year away..and we just have time to kill. Nice thing though is hanging with some of my closer friends and doing the Pusoy and Sushi nites. That plus they showed me a cool korean place in Cypress. Ahhh...flavored soju.^_^

Doing more of the family stuff. Samantha's back...so that always makes me happy ^_^. Chiln with my cousin Alfred, building his computer. These two are probably the two family members that I feel closest too. Trying to reconnect to all my other family members too. Actually at my cousin's bday party right now...but sadly sitting in the other room on the computer.=/

so...where does that put me know...mostly time for myself. I'm still running around doing a lot of things, hanging with old college friends, finding something interesting to do, meeting new people. I once had a free weekend to do nothing...and almost went crazy. Sat and stared at the TV...so unproductive. Reconnecting..and also retreating. My life is a series of contradictions. Things I want to say...things i can't say...wondering...wondering...wondering...

I've come to think that what i most resemble is glue. weird huh?

i've always seen myself as easy go lucky...very low maintenance... I get along with pretty much anyone i meet...and actually enjoy meeting new people and making new friends. I know a lot people...and yet...there is something missing. Something i've been looking for. Think it ties into my desire for a girlfriend.

Yes ladies and gentlemen...ray is looking for a girlfriend. As if you didn't know it.

---Cont on Aug 27---Sorry...didn't post and the party ended =)

But back to the issue at hand...oh yes...glue. Why glue?

Well..i find myself as a member in a bunch of groups...but not sure...or unable to really call one my own. I see friends that remember each others birthdays, planning outing togethers, and other stuff...while I feel that I'm still a part of them..just one of the outer rings in those circles of friends. Yeah...and outer ring.

Drifting, floating, gravitating...sometimes as close as Mars is now...(see..i'm up with most current events)..other times as far away as the stars.

ok...back to the glue....so yeah...many different groups. And I find that I can bring many of them together...well...maybe because I only really hang out with mostly good people. Bad people bore me...and usually disgust me. I still "hang" out with them...but i just keep true to myself. Maybe it cuz i just believe in people...and optimism that things will get better. I've seen it happen. I just say that now cuz I wouldn't want you to judge me just by my friends...but also get to know me. Funny..not to many people really do. *Another topic for another day of introspection.

wow..so distracted....guess that happens....one thing leads to another..and yet again..i'm off....yet stream of conscious tends to get you talking about things..and some things that you really didn't want to talk about.

So..back to the glue. Like many of your glue varieties...tends to bring things together...and make them stick. Well..the thing about glue is once its done...you never see it anymore. Disappears. yea....disappears. Especially that crazy glue. =p (ha..mock attempts at humor...to well..hide...)

Its one thing that i've really learned...its the connecting part. I know at a moments notice...everyone/anyone that knows me...would drop most things if I ever called. Funny things is...if i didn't need you...i just don't seem to call. Its not cuz i don't care...i guess i just put myself at a lower importance in your lives. Goes back to the low self-esteem thing...(wow..can u believe that). Don't want to be a bother to anyone.

Actually...wondering why I'm even going a write that....or even eventually post this. I guess it can be seen as a cry for help. (Yeah..thats the psychologist in me talking)...but the thing with me is...i don't try to get anyone's help. Guess I'm just stubborn...try to handle things on my own....and for the most part...have been really good at it. And right now...i don't really think I need anyone's help. (so please...no one try to call me so I can wallow in self pity. Thats not definitely not what I'm looking for.) I think what it comes back to is the relationship question.

Its funny...I had it once before....a girlfriend that was totally dedicated to me. Many at times I felt a bit too much....but I think that is what I am missing (no not a devoted follower). That relationship person ...that can truly connect to me. That can honestly know me. The person that can complete my sentences...finish my thoughts...and in a glance....know exactly what I'm thinking and how I'm feeling.

I guess thats whats killing me in this whole "searching/dating" process....cuz not sure what to do...when to do something...blah blah blah. I'm a romantic...and it will come naturally...when its with the right person. And in time...that person will appear...someone I may already know...someone I may not know at all.

The only thing that sucks right now...is being in love...but not knowing who it is with.






If you actually read this far...I thank you for your time. I figure this blog has gotten around...and still I don't really publicize it. This venue has always been a place to just say how I feel...but if you really knew me....It hardly is even that. There are only a few people that I have "officially" told about this site...and even less people that I truly say know I feel. My life has been an open book, but few actually take the time to read anymore. I just want to especially thank my sister...who has always been the one there for me. I love you Mantha.

OK..enough with the contemplation...just put on a happy face...and think of the positives....yea...positives...smiles.^_^

OK...wasn't gonna let another month pass without a post.
Thought you had enough after that long ass post in June.


Went thru some things...just thinking things out...and feeling things out.
Right now...things are ok. Not great...but ok.


July 4 weekend was fun. All the stresses of Anime Expo went off with a great time. My lil trip to San Diego was a lot of fun too. Been going picture crazy lately. Had to take some time to catch up at work, but currently conceptulizing a redesign. I'm planning on setting up a link to all those pics on ofoto.com.


Found some really good articles on MSN. Thought I'd share. =)


5 Signs She's Interested In You
Top 10: Traits Of A Great Girlfriend
6 Men women love


and after all that...a funny.
Lap dancer - watch how quick the guys will check this one. =p

Sometimes I wish I just didn't care so much. Wonder how different I'd be.
>Lord make me a bird so I can fly fly away - Forrest Gump<
>I'm tired. Some one wake me up when life gets better<

Wonder if I need a "its a wonderful life" moment right now.

Weekend in SF (May 29- Jun 1)

The last weekend of May, a group of friends and I went on a trip to SF, primarily for my friend Bryan’s wedding. I’d have to say it was one of the best weekends I’ve had in quite a long time.
It started out with the group leaving Long Beach Airport. The five of us, Mark, Traci, Jojo, Dao and I decided to take Jet Blue airlines since Jojo wanted to have direct TV. Wasn’t really worth it for the 50 min ride..but still made things interesting. From the get go…we were having a blast. I don’t know..just really didn’t feel like caring about anything. I wasn’t “planning” anything in particular..and was just looking to enjoy the weekend. It started out with Jojo and I hitting each other on the shoulder from across the aisle of the plane. Childish..yes..but still fun. For some reason…I just have a lot of fun when Jojo is around. I got some pretty good punches in…and of course Jojo just smiled..and took it like a lil girl.
We landed in Oakland and picked up the rental car. Tried to spit some Tagalog to the attendant, as she was gonna hook us up with an SUV..but no go. Jumped in the car and off we when to the hotel. (Theme playing – Back to the Hotel – N2Deep). This was only the first day…and people were already looking to crash…but I wasn’t having it. SO of course I call up all my norcal people…and thankfully they were happy to come out and host for us.
We started out by heading to the city, to do some site seeing. There we met up with Christina. After walking around Union for a while…we ended up at Metreon…in the arcade. Hey..it was happy hour…and we were looking to start the week right. While we were there, Biggwould and Steve Lee came by. Of course Steve gave up on Finding Nemo that nite..but I think he enjoyed my company a bit more than the fish.=). Surprisingly, we were there at the club for quite some time..and getting a light buzz. Deciding we finally needed to go…we head out to Brothers Korean B-B-Q. Really good food for a good price. Most of the time I was picking at plates and shooting Soju, till all the food disappeared. The Soju was ok…but Justin then told me about this hot waitress (helen) supposedly at the bar near by called Fizzies. So we proceeded to head to the bar...when my boy from back in the day rando hits me back and says he wants to hang. So i tell him to roll to Fizzies and we all meet up there.

DANG....I tell you...rando...it was soo good to see you again. We've had each others backs since day 1...plus he got me to love the Sixers. We met at my first sysadmin job in LA...and we knew from the get go..that we were bros for life. Course he headed up to the Bay...and I stayed here...but it was like old times kicking it again. =p

So yeah......back to the story. So we're all at bar. Guess the hot one wasn't there that nite...just my luck. The rest of my group decides they've had enough for the day...and proceed to head home....except my boy Mark B. Wow..good times..good times. Called up Vince Ronin from MZ...and it was all over.So there we were...Justin, Mark, Rando, Fred, Steve, Christina, and Vince...saying hi to Jack Daniels, Liquid Cocaine, Remy, Patron....plus a lot of pretzels. Lots of trash talking...but mostly a lot of fun. I really don't remember much from that nite...hahahha. I do remember everyone leaving..and Justin walking Mark and I like 8 Blocks..to go to the other bar...just cuz it had a later last call. Course ..all mark and I got was a purple hooter. Weak... After that..we jumped into Justins High Exhaust Exclipse...and head home. I passed out next to the aluminum cans...and Mark tried to stay awake and talk to Justin..but passed out too. HHAHAH.

End Day 1..please turn your tape to the other side...beep.

So we survived for the next day. Rando hits us up..and we were gonna kick it like before. Hawaiian Breakfast at Puenaheli. Sadly though..that shop has been long since closed. Another restaurant took its place...hawaiian as well..but just not the same. So again...we start the party again. Pretty much took up the whole restaurant. Wasn't too hard since there was no one else there. The original 5, Rando, Christina, Steve, The Ronin bros (yeah Gerald woke up), and Felix and company. It was cool..just chiln mostly. Got our grub on...and proceeded to think of what to do next. After much pondering...it was decided...Haight street.

Honestly..didn't really seem like much to me. A mix of Venice and 3rd Street promenade. We walk thru it...and decided to head home and rest...before dinner and the club that nite. We had decided on Glass Kat for the club..and ended up there for dinner as well. The club was cool...meeting up with old friends....and meeting some new ones ^_-. Best part was Jojo getting molested by a couple of club go-ers =p. He says now he understands what ass is. We ended the nite with some Filipino food at the all nite casino. Dang..only filipinos..hahah.

Day 3...the reason why we came up. Today was Bryan's wedding. We decided to go tp Fisherman's Wharf and get some clam chowder bowls. While we're there we check out the local stores and old carnival area. Mark gets some snap caps and all hell breaks loose. Its funny to see how much enjoyment u can get from the lil things. The best part was when Traci was carrying two on her back...without her knowledge...and accidentally drops it in the ice cream shop, scaring a bunch of people in there. They turned around to blame Mark, but he was soo far away. Oh man..my side hurt it was too funny. After that...we head home and get ready for the wedding.

The ceremony was nice...held outdoors so it got kinda hot. I can honestly say I have never seen a more beautiful and happier couple. It was great seeing a bunch of my old friends again from college. My old roommates Jeff and Chad. Apo peeps Annette, Thi, Theresa, Pansy, Jenn Chan, Christine, Carey, Gideon as
well. Had a lot of fun just chilln. On of the best parts had to be "raving" with Mark on the dance floor. Honestly..just not caring about things is the best way to be. We were just jumping up and down, "battling", on the dance floor..just having fun.

Last Day...Such a fun filled weekend...we weren't exactly sure how to end it. We started by searching for breakfast..ending up at this place called the Squat and Gobble. Thankfully our hosts Justin and now Jen Lee came thru to give us ideas for our final hours in SF. Finally we decided on Japantown. We strolled thru the mall and a number of shops. Cool photo opportunities...as mark and I again battled this time with the cameras. (total 330 from all our cameras in the Ofoto album). We ended the day with Ramune drinking contest and headed back to the airport. Jumped on a plane...started socking Jojo in the arm again..and eventually made it back home safely.
Big Ups to everyone that kicked it with us that weekend. Thanks for being there...and playing host.

Still kinda busy...but had to find the time to write this.
Expect an "update" later on my recent trip to SF (so much fun)..and Traci's Bday party.
until then..u can refer to the pictures on ofoto. (click links above) =)


OK...so what was so important to write about....
well...guess its this recent friendster.com craze. I don’t usually sign up for all these internet hype stuff...but after chilln with some friends in SF...i had a reason. =p
Well...besides being a cool idea...on a really crappy server that cuts out like every 10 minutes...it got me thinking about some things.

I know a lot of people. Thatz a fact. but the question really is...do i define them as friends?

For me...there are varying levels in which I know someone. The majority of the people I know...mostly acquaintances. I don't really have very many friends. So when I started getting requests from people i knew (college, Fraternity, etc)...or people i never really hung out with...had to pause to decide. Funny...simple question you'd think..."are you friends with this guy/girl?"...but not a simple answer. On the flip side, i found a number of people that i know as acquaintances...but wondered if they ever felt I was a friend?.

Really...I'm a private guy. So after a while...the novelty of the idea started to wear off...and some fears actually came up. I never really liked mixing my circle of friends. Each one knows an aspect of me...but what would happen when those boundaries became blurred. I mean really...wouldn't it be weird...if your high school best friend...ends up dating your ex-girlfriend's roommate...that you also know thanks to friendster. If it was meant to be...i'd be happy for them...but i'd also have to say...its still kinda awkward.

The other thing I worried about were people using my name/"friendship" to fuck around with my friends. Yeah...I'd have to say I'm really protective of my friends...girls especially. I'll be the first to admit that guys are dogs... and yes... i may be friends with some of them...but it doesn't necessarily mean i approve of their actions. So...hesitation again on friendster.

In the end... I more or less approved people...just as an acknowledgement that i do know them...but i also left a stern warning on my profile (below). But yeah...if you are on friendster...go ahead and request if you want to be my friend... But if you really want to know where you stand...just send me a direct email. This is not the email I used on friendster.


In response to "About Me":

humm...shy =p... funny (least I think so)... boring (yeah...really)...streaks of spontaneity...listener...protector...friend. I don't talk about myself much...but i really don't have much to hide. I just don't express it much.

-Which brings me to my next thought...I'm not trying to be popular here...but I do have varying definitions of friends. I honestly don't have a lot of friends...but a lot of acquaintances. Friends mean a lot to me...and I pretty much do anything for them. So...getting requests from people I "know"...but hardly know...yeah...kinda a quandary. If you want to go from more than an acquaintance to a friend...thats up to you to take the initiative. I'm always willing.

--on the other hand..if you're expecting to pick up on any of my FRIENDS...cuz you say your my friend...you better not hurt any of them. (I'm very protective...especially of my friends-girls). If you hurt them...expect to get your ass kicked by ALL of my friends. For realz.

Currently Listening to: I want you - Thalia Feat Fat Joe
Mood: protective

wow..new blogger..

and ray actually busy at work..and other stuff.
Things been going well...having fun..so thats good.

much to write about..but not right now. Been crashing at 4am the past few days..so need to catch up on sleep first.

mainly wanted to post on how true this lil article was..

8 ways to turn guys on

Blogging from Texas. Yee Haw!!

Quite an interesting weekend so far...and its not even over yet.

Guess we'll start off with Friday. So I'm sitting at work, busy with different projects and stuff, when I find out that the Server in Texas has gone down. After talking with some people in Boston and realizing that I'm not doing much this weekend, i accept the suggestion to fly out to Houston and work on the server. Of course this is after my previous plans for Sat (AX BBQ and Hot Import Nights). So, I schedule a flight, leaving at 8am on Sunday and am staying at the four seasons hotel. Nice =).

I'm working on the machine right now...just had some time to type while reloading the software.

So...friday nite, my AX friends come in to UCLA to prep for the BBQ the next day. Mostly it was fun...catching up...playing Dos till 2am and drinking boba. This was after a great birthday sushi dinner courtesy of Mark. Big shouts to my lil sib Theresa in Irvine too for planning a family get together and Bday cake for me on Wed...she's soo sweet. (and yes Rachel...she does exist). Lots of fun, but got home late (again) cus I had to prep some Cds for this trip. Work...work...work.

So I wake up on Sat to see that Samantha arrived. I had just learned that she was actually coming. Didn't get to talk to her much...as she needed to leave for a party. I missed her hug...but sam...i understand.

So got ready to go to the BBQ. It was ok...not as good as the last one. Found myself playing basketball most of the time...but that was fun. Afterwards, went to Hot Import Nights. That was cool as well. Ahh..pictures with Aiko Tanaka. =)

I'll have to post more later....but leaving for SF now. See you there! =p

Man oh man...this shit is too funny. I had to walk into the server room to keep from laughing out loud at work. The Rhino and cop/pirate one are the best. HAHAH.(link c/o LYD)

Fun with Cybering

OK...I told you I wanted to see it too. Yeah...what a birthday present that would be. Lana Lane and a birthday cake.
^_^ Speaking of which...

Humm...looking for traditional japanese school uniform for Anime Expo...yet all my internet searches lead to porn. Interesting...yet not exactly what I'm looking for...(right now ^_-).
sample1
sample2
The inspiration - My Sassy Girl

Suggestions anyone? Any help would be appreciated. =)

Travel/Entertainment Plans

Just and FYI...for those interested in hanging out.

5/24 - Cerritos - AX picnic and Hot Import Nights
5/29-6/1 - SF- Bryan Han's Wedding. Staying at Hyatt Regency SFO
6/14 - Davis - Samantha's Graduation
6/21 - Santa Clara - Fanime Con
7/2-6 - Anaheim - Anime expo (AX)

Currently Listening to: California Love - 2Pac
Mood: diligent

Its been an interesting week. Got DSL at home finally. ^_^ Fairly busy at work..so thats occupied much of my time. Some sad things and some scary things this past week also...that make you take a step back and re-evaluate were we all fit in...as far as life goes. They say, it just helps you appreciate things much better. Thinking about things..wondering....

honestly...I'd just have to say fuck it (raises middle finger in the air).

OK...this post just turned.

Now don't get me wrong. I didn't know Adrian at all...but I feel his loss. I felt his loss when my sister first told me...when justin told me he was going to the memorial...and then when I read kelly's blog. Sounds like a great guy...and truly a tragic loss. He was a brother of APO...but that didn't matter...he made a difference in people's lives.

I also know all the girls that were in the car...I heard about what happened....I shudder to think what could have happened. Thankfully, although in pain, they are all still here.

But what I pose to you is this: What do you do from here? Sit around...remember who he was...ponder what he could have been. Thinking what could have happened in that car. Much of our lives are spent....thinking....not doing. Evaluating....but not taking action.

I say its time to start taking action. If you have a life...then really start LIVING it. Does your world revolve around whether or not Clark and Lana will eventually kiss on Smallville? (ok..i wanna see it...but I don't sit around waiting for it =p). Whether or not the Lakers go for 4-peat won't change the fact that you still have to finish school...or go to work the next day.

Find the things that matter to you...and do what makes you happy. The only person you have to answer to is yourself. Stop blaming other people and find solutions...instead of complaining about it.

i don't know people...no one has all the answers for life's mysteries...or even why this rant started. I think now in my more "experienced" years...I've learned more and more that "talking" about something helps...but still lacks when it is not followed by action.

All I would say is live your life...while you still have it...and make it count.

Crazy and fun weekend.


Friday - Met up with Mark, Maureen and friends at Yardhouse. Happy to learn my Sixers are advancing. =p. Headed out to a Pimps and Schoolgirls party at USC. Oh man...the memories of parties being broken up by campus police. HAHAHAHA. I think I'm gonna need to throw a theme party myself one of these days. Ended up in K-town to find something to eat. Gotta love K-town...since it never closes...and Korean girls... ^_^.

Sat - Chilled in Ventura. Watched X2, Serendipity with 3 other guys (don't ask), and 40 Days and 40 Nights. Got a lot of stuff done and just chilled with the guys. Vanilla coke it the shit yo! (damn..sound like biggwould) - (Vanilla Vodka and coke). Happy Bday Mark. Sorry for putting you on blast on Mon.

Sun - Had an anime expo (AX) meeting, that i brought a lot of issues up for discussion. Had one of the best lunches I've had in forever...playing with a Crab Claw at the Crab shack and laughing it up with my AX homies, after only 3 hours of sleep. I'll probably expand on it later...but it also included "flying" to the restroom while wearing a lobster bib as a cape. Dang..just loving life right now..and chilln.

Need to regain focus again...and actually do some work. Happy Cinco de Mayo. WOW..its may already.

Currently Listening to: The Jumpoff - Lil Kim
Mood: chiln.

wow...
thought segregation was over....


PS..
Thanks Milly for freaking me out with that link....ewwwwww
Great after having all these ghostly visions all week thanks to a stupid "The Ring" chain email. I'm not saying I believe it....but I just don't mess around with it. (PS...didn't forward the email...just started that the screen captures too long..)

Currently Listening to: I'm with you - Avril Lavigne
Mood: content

BTW...Since I listen to Shoutcast.com, the currently listening to hardly ever refers to how I'm feeling...just what I happen to be listening to at that time. Got a lil tired of the RnB link, trying the POP one now.

Crazy Friday
Here's the short and long version.

Short version: Friday sucked...mostly.

Long version: prepare for useless rant...less you really have nothing to do. =p ...or you're just that interested.

/rant/ Well...it started out Thursday night...when I went with the company to the Lakers Playoff game. You're probably thinking..."yeah it sucked cuz the Lakers lost"...but thats not really it for me. I came to watch a good game...and that it was. Personally...usually find myself as the Anti-Laker... Philly 76ers Baby ^_^. Well...parking we hell. Parked like 3 blocks from the Staples center at $10 and had to "tip" someone from the area to watch my car...after the owner left at 8pm. No pressure he says...although I'm sure he would have been the one breaking windows if I didn't say I'd tip him on the way back. I saw the other parking lots go from $10 to $15...and up to $30 before I even got in the Staples center. Game was fun...chilled with my homie from back in the days...and just caught up. Really good game...although the Lakers lost =p

So anyways, I wake up late Friday. Not usually that big an issue...but yeah. On my way to work, I call in and let them know I'm running late. In return I found out that my most important user/Boss in the office has already called and was looking for me. (anxiety level shoots up). Lets just say that pretty much everything in the office revolves around this man...and tends to want things done yesterday...if you know what I mean. So...as I hear this...I usually drop everything to help him out. Now I'm in the car...thinking/worrying...as I race to work.

Once I get there, I find out that his Sony computer that I'm about to send out for repairs still has his financial (quicken) information on it, information that he currently needs. (Back-story...this is his 3rd Sony computer that has the same recalled power-supply problem. Yes... I have sent all three back, each time it crashed.) Hours on the phone with sony...but that was a different crazy day. Anyways, in order for me to do this, I have to take the machine apart, and jimmy it to another computer. I was able to take the necessary data off and email him (12ish). He wasn't able to check it then, but said he would later that night. Being on the safe side, i suggested I hold the computer till he can verify he got it, as it would likely take a couple days for it to get back. He said, send it out today...and hopefully someone will get to it over the weekend. (not sure if Sony works weekends...but I doubt it).

So...new stress is to make sure box and computer are packed before FedEx comes by. Stress, Stress, Stress. I finish packing it...and realize its about lunch time.

( Geez...this is gonna be long. F-this...shortened version now...if u're really that bored...then u can hit me up online...but trust me...not that interesting)

I order from Denny's. Walk down to pick it up. Come back to the office to realize they gave me wrong order. Going down elevator, hit every floor...cuz i realized I left the incorrect order at the office. Went back to pick it up. Walked back to exchange, realized I left my wallet at the office. Fortunately, they just gave me my order...and didn't charge me. Ate lunch (3ish).

After a tiring/frazzled day, I went to my car, dropped off my office keys and picked up my bowling shoes. We had an company Bowling event that nite, and I was hitching a ride with my coworker. Started to walk to his place, when I get a call from my Boss saying he didn't get the quicken files he needed off the sony computer. Then i realized that I was already a good 10 minute walk from the office...and arrrrr. Yeah...that feeling.

My coworker changes for the evenings event...we drive back to the office, almost try to get into the office without my keys (fortunately my coworker had his), and I send the file. Man...whatta day. But it doesn't end there.

We attend the Bowling event at Universal Citywalk. Cool place...and mostly just hanging out. Got to sport my Simpson's Bowling shirt courtesy of my bro and sis. ^_-. My one office mate was over an hour late...but I'm glad she finally made it. Overall, that was a good time. Got top score (165), but then again...no one else in my company really bowls. Next stop was to hang with my friends at a club in Pasadena.

Yes...i keep a busy schedule. =)

So my friend and i arrive at the club, to meet up with the other 23 people in our group that have already been there. It was "okay". A click2asia event branded as professional singles event to meet other professional singles. Really not a lot going on there. What killed it that nite was when this one girl from my fraternity that I knew from Riverside, comes up and says hi. Then proceeds to talk about how she was drunk and wondered why I haven't called/talked to her in so long. Then she wants to dance. Honestly...i know this girl wants me...but I don't share the same feelings. She goes back with her group...and I danced with her a bit later on during the nite...but nothing much. So yeah...nothing of interest at the club...or anyone that I really wanted to talk to. Kinda wack honestly..but yeah.

oh yeah...the punch to the stomach.

Well…towards the end of the night, the same girl comes up again...bugging me.

PunchyGirl -"you haven't talked to me in soo long. I don't even have your email or cell phone number anymore"
Ray - "oh...thats ok...i don't have yours anymore either"

And there you have it. Right after that I got a punch to the stomach. Not too bad. I didn't reel in pain in the middle of the club or anything...hahaha...well...that would have sucked. I'd blame it on the alcohol...or unrequited interest...either way...it was just the topper for the day of hell./end rant/

Update: Boss gives me the free sony clie...for all my efforts with his computers.


Currently Listening to: Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous - Good Charlotte
Mood: cheerful.

I've come to a compromise. Rather than starting another blog for the day-2-day stuff, I'll just post those in BLUE...while the "deeper" thoughts running through my head...will remain posted in black.

So I'm sitting here...at my old elementary school...working on their network...just thinking of things...and finding the time to blog.

Ok...installing Win 98...so yeah...sitting doing nothing. =P

Was an ok weekend, think I'll have to talk about it later, since i want to get out of here. Crazy day Friday...everything that could go wrong..pretty much did. Ended up with a girl punching me in the stomach...if that gives you any idea. wasn't my fault...really =p

Oh yeah!
Ok..I was thinking of caving in and getting a Xanga as well...since these posts have become more melodramatic than trival...and wanted something to just shoot the shit. You know? well..I don't think I'll do that...hardly post to this one in the first place. Its ok. Playing with learning HTML again and will just set up a seperate section for the thoughful stuff.


One thing I am happy about though is the Return of REBLOGGER. Yes..my first comment system has returned..and now I can hear your input. (well..sorta hear ^_- ) Also thought about the chatterbox...but I'll have to see if that fits in with the redesign.


Fun Times...Fun Times...More to come later.

Changing Times...Life and APO and me

Started going through my closets today. Organizing what I want to keep and getting rid of the stuff I don't. I found out I have enough t-shirts to last me 3 months, if I changed everyday and didn't wash. Oh man...too much. And all blue, black or white. So yeah...going with this new outlook on life and just living. Cleaning up and cleaning out.

Was in pain most of last week. Remember boys and girls...always stretch before you work out. OUCH!

Saturday ended my term as Section Chair for Alpha Phi Omega. Seemed a bit anti-climatic. I had a great time in San Luis Obispo, learning how to rope an active and even line dancing (ok..sorta learned that one). There were a lot of people there...and from what I hear...my goal of having more and more interchapter stuff is coming together. I was pretty happy about that. I'm also glad that Jack was elected as the next chair. (SUCKER..if you only knew what you were getting into...HAHHAHAHAHAH)...just kidding lil bitch. He's a great guy...and I know he'll get the job done. Many a times he kept even me in check. Just gotta work on a couple things...but you always come thru. =) Best thing...HAHA…now everyone will have to learn how to spell your last name (tulatammagul ...tut tut a magg a gol…or something ^_^) I still remember when I first met him...such a dork...


guess somethings don't change =p

Hahaha...man...that actually feels good. hahah...just kidding Jack. He knows it...and I bet he'll try to call me out on his Xanga. (ps...change your song...getting annoying). But thatz been our relationship...clowning on each other…but when it comes down to it...I can count on him...and he knows I'll be there for him as well. But hey...this blog isn't about Jack...so...back to me. =)

So again...anti-climatic. I had to think about it a while...why have I been in APO so long? I've seen a lot of things...drama...fights...power struggles...friends coming...friends leaving...bitter memories...and sweet ones. I've logged God knows how many miles on my car...driving to San Francisco, Davis, Sacramento, UCLA, UCI, UC Riverside, USC, San Luis Obispo, San Diego, Arizona. Countless Sectional Conferences (Sec 1,2, 4), Regional Conventions (Oakland, San Diego), National Conventions (Arizona, Philly, New Orleans). Met countless brothers in all these chapters. I was there when UCLA and UCI rechartered. I was there when UCR "buried" their Time capsule. Pledge pinnings, Active installs, end of the year banquets. A family line that encompasses multiple schools and pages. Who knows how many APO sweatshirts I've purchased? A bag full of APO t-shirts sit in my room...a ucr pledge class t-shirt all thru Pi class (except for Omicron...no one saved one for me...and hasn't since).

Most of you are probably looking at this and saying...OMG...this guy has no life. All this for some Frat. Well...honestly...thatz pretty much been it. But there is something you have to understand. I'm in APO...because APO is me. The principles, the ideals... Leadership, Friendship, and Service. They are all things that I truly believe in. This organization has given me the opportunity to be me.

Service-Ever since I was young, my family instilled in me the "duty" of service to others. Mainly due to Asian upbringing, it was customary to make sure that you respected your elders, and do what you can for them. In school, I was a member of a Catholic youth group and we did many things along those lines to help the community. It didn't matter how I did it, but there was always a sense of giving back...for all the benefits I have received. APO was just a tool to do that.

Leadership-In this organization, I've seen many leaders come up through the ranks. Given the opportunity, many people can achieve anything...and I've seen it done...and itz amazing. I remember the quietest person in one of UCR's pledge classes become one of the most vocal actives in the chapter. I've seen people organize fundraisers that have raised $1,000+ to charitable groups. I've seen a group of actives give their time and energy to a Senior Citizens home and help them remember what life really was like.( I still remember Ruth from the senior home bringing me to her room to show me the pictures of her kids...the ones that hadn't visited her in over a year). Lots of leaders...just looking for opportunities.

Friendship-Probably the one thing that keeps me here the most..and its not just specific friendships...but all the ones I gain as I continue to be active. Fortunately, I still am able to call and talk with some of my friends that I met when I first started. I was walking across the campus of CSULB on day and actually found one of my lil sibs who I hadn't talked to in over 5 years, and we were able to pick up like nothing. In high school I was more of the nerd (surprise surprise =p) and didn't really have a lot of friends. (*Friendships- thats a topic for another day). I keep up with many of my friends thru AIM, but its odd when you think that although we've been graduated from college for over 5 years, it was this one organization that brought us together. Whatever way you look at it, I'm known throughout California thanks to the pledge test and my visits. Hundreds of people have had to learn how to spell my last name...(yes..there is no "g" in warriner.) My brother and sister are/have been members and leaders in it.

wow..and I am still going.


So..again..why so anti-climatic?

I don't know...


At the final meeting, I made my speech, thanking everyone for coming...and thanks for the 3 years as Section Chair. I showed the rush video then walked into the audience and found an empty chair in the back...all by myself. No big speech. Not sure what exactly was running through my mind...and a week long of crazy travel culminating in that one moment...and in that moment...i felt...hollow. empty. (hence the anti-climatic).


I didn't understand why...and still really don't. It did get better later, when Jack presented me with the Section 1 Distinguished Service Key, the highest honor given in the Section. I don't do this stuff for recognition, but it is nice to be honored. It was nice walking back down, seeing everyone stand up...and given a chance to say something again...to try to say thanks. I started rambling something that I had thought of once...how everyone seeks immortality...thru their children...and how I had achieved it through all of them...by them being my family. (I can see you tearing now =p). Not sure exactly how it came out…but now wondering if it made me seem arrogant. ( I told Kevin Simpson later that all the immortality talk, I may start walking on water. Honestly I did…there were a couple of rain puddles that I swiftly glided thru ^_^ ). I'd have to say my best moment for the day was when my sister came over and hugged me. Samantha has come to mean a lot to me and I am so thankful for her. She is my best friend. (*Another post, for another day).

In all my years with APO, I'd have to say my most memorable moments have been with UC Irvine, Rho Rho. I still remember the first days when I saw this group of people come together huddled on the floor of an apartment. Meeting Clint, the first person I met from the group, who continues to be there for me and invite me out to Basketball games. The cherry tying contest we had at Islands during our first socials.(sorry everyone, still can't do it...need some practice. Anyone? =p ) Kelly knocking out 8 or so in a minute. Practicing for UCR Lip Sync the first time, the stresses of leadership and organizing people, planning for sectionals, PGCPPC, doing the bylaws, etc. The joys...the tears...working...and finally getting it done.


I still remember the Banquet, probably one of the most emotional moments for me. Of all the people they could have asked, they asked me to do the keynote address. I'm usually quite composed...and would have thought out my speech a couple times before I would actually start. Oddly...I found myself overcome with emotion...so much I had to call my sister outside...so I could let it go. (yes...tears). I wasn’t sad...but I couldn't explain it. I wrote once before it was like a parent and child relationship...and they are just growing up. Not away...but just growing up. I guess the reason why I bring it up is cuz I know someone at that chapter knows me better than most.( I suspect who it is...but yeah). The reason why I say that is my most prized possession is not the Chapter DSK they awarded me, but the foam cut out of a key and the "one to grow on" chart that they gave me. On the chart, they marked all the milestones that we had all accomplished and wrote words of gratitude on it.

That is what touches me. Not awards or titles. I honestly could care less about all that stuff. Its seeing how people change...and hopefully for the better. My "awards" have been throughout my term...seeing events like that, watching people grow...and seeing what effect I may have on them...and the potential they have to achieve. Hearing Jack at CPW in SJ say that I was his role model.*tear. You (Jack) may not have thought much of it then...but thatz what moves me. People going out of their way for me, a hand quilted/decorated pillow means more to me than any expensive present. Its never been about money...much more on time and thought.


But yeah...thatz me.

I close with a couple lines from Lord Alfred Tennyson...again on the immortality thing...and moving on to new challenges.
I am a part of all that I have met;

Yet all experience is an arch wherethrough
Gleams that untravelled world, whose margin fades


Come, my friends,
'Tis not too late to seek a newer world.


Though much is taken, much abides; and though
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.
- Ulysses

Time for Myself

As I check the span of time it takes me to post to this blog, I realize more and more, that this really isn't a diary for me. Itz more of a presentation...of what I happen to feel and what I want to share. I knew I could never keep up a diary, cuz I'd feel guilty about all the days I would miss, and give up the whole idea. This journal, on the other hand, at least helps me gage what I've been doing, where I've been, what I don't want to have to repeat again and again to all my friends, but otherwise...a way to measure how much I've changed..(or maybe not changed).

Well...things have changed. I got tired. Tired of sitting around...wondering...waiting. Tired of whining ...about when will love happen...when will she appear. blah blah blah Tired...tired...tired....tired of apathy. So i decided...its time for a change.

First thing I had to do..was say ..FUCK IT. (oh...geez...he just cussed on his blog...so...unlike ray). Well...yeah...FUCK IT. If you want something to change...then you have to be willing to change...and be different from it.

I renewed my gym membership...and this time I'm actually using it. =p
I love the fact I can shoot hoops at 11pm at night. Last night it was a good 2 hours running, lifting, and finally laps in the pool. Soreness aside...but thatz all part of the plan.

The nice thing was...I had my phone with me...but didn't feel like answering. Normally, i jump every time my phone rings...but at that time...nope. It can wait. This is my time. All "emergencies"...well...they were your own. My biggest discovery of the evening was a treadmill that actually had fans on it. hella cool. (yeah...hella).

So I'm being selfish...and you know what, I think itz about time. Don't get me wrong...I do what I can to help people (hence the service fraternity...and other extra curricular activities)..but really... sometimes I just want to do my own thing...and sometimes that could actually be choosing to do NOTHING.

Time to live...and live it up. It only happens once...so experience it with all you can. Things are going great...I just need to take the time to enjoy them.


-Excelsior-