Hey everybody....I know its been sometime since the last update...so here's a couple things to mention.

1. Got Apache? - Got the webserver running in a test environment. Now gotta test to see if I can learn how to host the pages on it. BTW...Tried to do it with Red Hat...3 times. With Mandrake...first try. I'll figure that one out when I have more time.

2. Been really busy working at CEI and plus I started working Sundays at CSULA. Add to that I'm the network consultant for my old elementary school...so my plate of duties is quite full. Sadly I still feel that I need to find a more stable job and something I can enjoy more....which leads me into "3."

3. Virginia, Hawaii, or Anaheim? I've been sending out Resumes for sometime now..but with this economy..things haven't been great. Mostly half-heartedly, I'm just seeing what is out there. If I really feel pressured..the I'll push even more. With that in mind, I did get an email from Northrop Grumman. Itz a government support company just like the one I was working for prior to CEI. They are interested in me primarily due to my security clearance, but for whatever reason it may be...this is a genuine opportunity. Initially, they felt I may fit in a position in Virginia. The recent email stated that they have some opportunities in Hawaii and in a few weeks in Anaheim. So I've come to this crossroad in my life to try to determine where I want to be. Traveling is interesting..but do I really want to leave everything here behind?

oops...gotta get back to class...I'll write more later.

OK..thats freaky...
I was just checking the referring URLs to this blog..guess what
If you look up filipino superstition, dreams about death - you get me =/

Update....I emailed her..and she emailed back. Left my number..but we'll have to see what happens.
Only thing is she didn't show up to the Rededication. Oh well.=(

PS..
Nextel is pissing me off. Any suggestions on other services. (Damn I wish reblogger still worked )
Geocities is pissing me off too...stopping my FTP (free) service..therefore ending my blog... But Fear not...I'm looking at alternatives and other hosting options. ^_^. Time to learn Apache.and Linux

Err...so disappointed. Did you know when a company says they will keep your resume "on file" for a year or so...the don't really mean it.

I had applied at CSULA for an Information Tech position last year. I got the confirmation letter but was never called in for an interview. Of course the letter said they would keep the application on file for 3 years in case anything came up. Well yesterday I found the letter..and decided to call them. Obviously they had already filled the position...so I asked if there were any other Tech positions open. She then proceeds to tell me that since November, two other Infomation Tech positions had opened and now intereviewing. I asked.."Since my resume was on file...was I also applied to those positions?" she said no. I would still have to apply individually for each one.

So honestly? Whats the point in keeping the resume..if you don't look at it anyway? So for all those fellow job hunters out there...just keep applying.

Oh man..I'm feeling soo giddy....

I'm heading to UCR this week for the rededication ceremony for Alpha Phi Omega, the service fraternity that I still participate in. This week my home chapter of UCR has invited a number of alumni from the chapter to come back and rededicate themselves to the principles of the fraternity. Its all cool since I was probably going to head out there anyway..but now I'm usually giddy because I found out that one particular alumni that I had a crush on may possibily be there. (blush). Its been a few years since I've seen her..but DAMN...she was (hopefully still)...sooo cute. Now we'll have to see if I'll be able to talk to her when I get there. I found an email address..so I may send up that warm up intro... (to make sure the first time I see her isn't too wierd...but now comes the awkward phase.)

if/when I see her..will I be able to say anything? Yeah I can talk to people...speak in front of groups..but honestly..when I get near someone I'm particularly attracted to.....I shut down. It seems to happen to the best of us... Fear of rejection.. intimidation...low self esteem. Hey I'm fairly confident about my skills...work...dealing with people...etc.. But when it comes to starting a relationship...or even dating...I clam up. Hopefully I'll figure what to do by Friday...^_^

Especially for all the Filipinos in the house (or if you know Filipinos)...thanks to Kathy. The comedy of mr rex navarrete

I was going to blog a long message about this week...but I think I'm just going to sleep. This has been quite a busy week and I find that once I start writing I tend to write a lot. So just to let everyone know...I'm still alive. This week has been quite and experience...and I still have a picnic to deal with tomorrow...just to finish the week and my sanity off. =/

So...gonna write more later...and still have a lot to do. Be back for more details. =)

Ahh..Valentines Day. Happy Valentine's Day to everyone. You would think that I would actually look forward to this day...namely because I find myself to be more of the romantic type...but lately...it..like other holidays..seem to just pass by without particular notice. Don't get me wrong..I'm all about moonlight seranades, candle light dinners, romantic locations... But it obviously doesn't have much impact without that special someone in your life. And I definately miss having someone =/.

Otherwise..Things are great. The eyesight is terrific. I find myself reaching for my face occasionally, forgetting that there are no glasses to adjust or remove. Still a little blurry on somethings...but I've been told that it's all still part of that healing process. Going in for an exam today to check things out. Really this has given me a new outlook on life. The recent post (1/31/02) about moving on in relationships...and now this new self-confidence from the lasiks have given me a new motivation to succeed. I am still working at the school at part-time, but I am keeping myself busy consulting for my old elementary school as well as possibly a law firm. At the same time, I've stepped up my motivation to look for a new full time job.

I need to get back into my workout routine...but lately I've been pretty happy just playing Basketball with UCI. After a couple meetings, I headed out with some of the members (both guys and girls) and we've been playing a couple pick-up games. It's been fun. Likely going to be playing again on Fri. ^_^

So relationship wise...still single...not really looking as hard as I was before. I'm of the belief that when it happens...it will be when you least expect it.... (sadly its just been tooo long...damn =p ). I'm definately open to possibilities... (hahah...even thought of the show Blind Date...some of those guys are hopeless). The scary thing is I was joking with my cousin and checking out some personals on match.com. I sent out this one personal to some friends online...thinking I would hear (Ray...don't take this route...you'll find someone...you don't need personal ads). Instead...I hear...(maybe...your should try.) I guess it doesn't fall into my romantic perceptions of love to find it thru internet personals....but I don't discount it as a possibility.=P Oh well...we'll see when love hits ^_^.

You know...I thought about it later...and wondered why I even made those previous posts. The lasik one was ok..but the sexual harassment one was a little out there. I question myself why I made it public knowledge....but then I realize that of the people I know that read this...I would have told them about it anyway. Also I realize that blogging (although my posts are intermittant) have been a tool for me to keep up with people. I find myself every morning checking all the blogs on my list...just to see how people are doing and if they have posted something new. So I guess it has become a part of my life.

Now for the second story....good news but a bit scary. I suggest you read the bad news (previous post) first...so at least you can end in a good note.

Monday, I'm going under the knife. After thinking about it for the longest time, I am going to get lasik surgery done. I've been wearing glasses now since the 1988. This will be a big change for me. I did my research and have many friends this particular field. I've heard all the success stories...as well as the disasters. Actually..its rather interesting...a while back..when I was deciding to do the surgery...fox news ran a story about lasik disasters. I mean...come on now...these are your eyes. You mess them up...it will drastically change your life. When your looking for lasik surgery..don't let price be your only concern. So going back..I was watching this news segment on lasik...and how some people had actually come out with worse vision after the surgery. So of course this made me wary. The good news is that the doctor that "corrected" these vision disasters is the doctor that will be performing my surgery ^_^. So I'm really happy about that.

So ... Monday is the day.. I'm looking forward to it with fear and excitement. I made it thru the check up and was told I am an ideal candidate. Even with all these re-assurances ... it still is an operation. The process will be about an hour..and I have full vision that same day. So when I SEE you again...it will be without glasses.

here is an article with some risks indicated...but it does have a cool flash animation showing the procedure.

OK..bad news first...Beware...this is a bit graphic and disgusting.

As most of you know I'm a teacher of networking technology. I teach Microsoft Networking (MCSE) courses at a vocational school. My students range from kids right out of high school to adults going through a retraining or career change. I've been teaching for the past year and things between my students and me have always been great. I treat my students as equals...as opposed to the traditional teacher (knows everything) - student (knows nothing) relationship. Well this past week has been a little traumatic.

So I have this one student in class. Older man in his thirties, a bit quirky, but overall displaying a desire to learn. One of those overgrown nerd types. Well on Tues, I'm helping this student out with some problems on a worksheet. As I'm sitting next to him, I realize that he is a bit on display. (Remember that friends episode about phoebe's boyfriend … yeah...that one). So I ignore it and concentrate on the worksheet. Of course I'm embarrassed...but I also didn't want to embarrass him. I finish helping him solve a problem, and tell him to try the rest at home.

Next day (Wed), still working on subnetting problems in class. (Many people have problems with it). Fast forward to the end of class, I find myself helping him out again. This time I'm working the problems out on the board while he has moved to the seat in the front. Well...I SEE him again … yes… embarrassing again. This guy really has to get some pants ... sheesh. This time I strategically use my podium to block my view and concentrate on the problem. I felt I really should say something to him...but how do you tell someone that? Hey...please put on some pants! So I hoped that this wouldn't be a regular occurrence and finished what I had to do and went home.

Thursday, I get to work and am asked to call this student. I call the number to hear that he has some car problems and that he won't be in class today. I tell him that it will be ok and to take care of his car. He also says that he has something to apologize to me about something. I wasn't sure what it could be (I had a good idea) ... but I told him I wasn't offended by anything and not to worry. Again I tell him to just take care of his car and I would see him the next day.
Now...I'm thinking...I'll wait till he "apologizes" to find out what he thought he did. I would be really weird if I said..."everything is ok ... just wear pants next time"...just to find out he wanted to apologize about cutting me off during lecture or something ... so I play stupid and wait to see what happens.

Friday comes along and my student shows up. During a break, my student decides to apologize to me for what he did on Wednesday. I told him that I didn't know what he was talking about so I guess everything is ok. So he says...
****ATTENTION...NEXT SECTION IS NASTY AND DISGUSTING...READ WITH CAUTION...YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED****
So he says..."so you didn't see me playing with myself during your lecture?"
OH MY GOD..WHAT THE FUCK??? Shocked I said.."What?"
he replies "so I guess if you didn't see me I have nothing to apologize for."
Still in shock..."Um..well..I appreciate the apology...but I think you should keep that to yourself. I don't want to embarrass you or anything...so I'm just going to keep this between us."
He says ok...and I somehow get through the rest of class.
After that moment...things start flashing to me. I remembered how he asked me on Tues how old I was and if I was married. Then I started wondering if he was thinking about me while he was...well you know. UGHHH...still...UGHHH. While I was writing on the board..all I could think of is if he was thinking about me while I was lecturing. If he was also "pleasuring" himself in the back of class....I was so disgusted. I started to get this sick feeling in my stomach. So class finishes...and I am still reeling from the shock. I remembered that another instructor in the previous year was sexually assaulted by a student. The other student pinned the instructor to the wall and attempted to undo his pants. I thought to myself...FUCK that...if he comes close...I'm throwing punches.

With the student gone...I decided to talk to my supervisor. I realize I can be very forgiving of people...but I didn't want to have to explain the whole story to someone if it came to a fight. I informed my supervisor of the past events and that I was willing to let it go since there was only three weeks left in the course. As I was talking to the instructor (behind closed doors)...we began to realize more and more how abnormal this behavior was. At this same time...the student passes by the window of the supervisor's office. Oh shit...now this is getting freaky. We figure that he was walking out for the day and continue to talk about it. We had been talking for over an hour. The supervisor made me feel a little better and we decided that the school will talk to him on Monday. The likelihood is that he will be removed from school. I was relieved and start walking back to my classroom to get my stuff. My supervisor decides to walk with me on the slim chance that the student would still be there. I wasn't concerned..but we walked anyways. He supposedly signaled me..but a little to late....since as I open the door to the classroom..I find the student in there. OH FUCKING SHIT...what is going to happen now? My supervisor had walked away from the classroom, hoping I would follow..but instead I walked in.

So there I am, in an awkward situation with this student in front of me. He is thanking me for not saying anything and keeping it between us. I tell him...um yeah..I didn't want to embarrass him. He says ok..I'll wear pants more often...and if he wears shorts again...he'll try to keep IT in. I try to keep him at ease while I'm standing there panicking. Of course...during this whole time I'm freaking out.... I'm thinking...oh shit...he has been waiting in this room for me the whole time. He's checking to see if I said anything (since I was in the supervisor's room). And now I'm alone in this room. Where the fuck is my supervisor? and am I really stuttering while I'm talking to him? why is he walking closer to me? Finally this whole thing is over and he walks out.

My supervisor comes in with the technician, as the student is walking out. Great..my savior (sarcastic). He sits in the classroom with me for a while..as I become concerned that the student might be still outside. Now I'm really freaked. I'm looking all around while I'm getting into my car. Calling my work making sure that they don't give out my home number or address. Wondering what going back to work would be like...since the student may feel I betrayed him. There are no guards at me school so there would be nothing preventing him from just walking back into my class. If anything happens, I know my other students will be there... I'm just hoping that it doesn't get to that level. Some people are just sick. I'm just worried on what he may do next. Just have to get my mind off it...(Think happy thoughts..think happy thoughts).

Still thinking of the redesign...but have a couple other things to think about. Some major life changing things...so I think I'll post them as two seperate entries. One good and one not so good. Personally, I'm ok about everything now. Still looking for that new job..but otherwise things are ok. I finally broke a 1,000 hits...guess there are people out there reading this. ^_^

whoa..it has been some time since the last post. A lot has happened...I just haven't really gotten it to this journal. Most recently..I got the illustrious first post on a comment to Ernie's blog. Since, then I became a little self-conscious about my blog and now am thinking of a new layout. I really should work on a new design. =/

Things have been looking up lately. I am glad the holidays are over and now I'm just looking forward to new things. I'm still teaching only one class at work, but I am currently looking for alternatives. I contracted with my old elementary school to work on their network on an on-call basis. It will provide me a little money on the side..as well as a chance to play with new network ideas. I was also working for this position at the county..but was just short of the 4 year full-time experience requirement. This is the position I plan to retire with. Actually...it was this and seeing my ex-girlfriend at Dave and Busters recently that has given me a new perspective.

I realize that this is a brand new day of a brand new life. The economy may not look good, but I do have a lot of options. I've recently started mass mailing the resume and am hoping that things will go well. I have been taken pretty good care of myself. Even with only one class..I'll be starting that part time teaching in March, where I'll be teaching on Sundays for significant pay. As February and March come closer, the hiring season will be in full swing. I'm looking forward to getting back into some real world scenarios and problems...with hopefully less stress.

As for relationships....I'm over it. I realized after seeing my ex recently...that I was really over her. That may seem harsh to say...but what I didn't realize was that somewhere in the back of my mind..I was still believing beyond hope that somehow we would be together. I guess it could have been the first love thing. It could have been since we meant so much to each other. When I hear that song from Babyface "what if", all I could think about was past/possible relationships. When I saw her at Dave and Busters..with her husband.. it just hit me. I had seen them together before..and it is not as if it bothered me. It just never hit me. Well sometime last week, I saw them and realized...that she and I were not meant to be. We would still be good friends..but we had grown apart in interests and ideas. It was also around this time that I went clubbing with my cousin. Again..I'm not big on clubbing..but it was really for my cousin..and I just wanted to chill. It was really cool since I actually caught up with some friends that I saw there. I wasn't expecting much...and it turned out to be a really good night. They say love come when you least expect it...well I've given up looking..so we will have to see how long it will take to find me. In the meantime I'm just going to try new things and enjoy life.

11:30 on a Saturday night. I should be out painting the town, partying with friends and drinking it up. Instead, where do I find myself?...sitting at home. Sad you think? Actually this was my choice. I had just come back from a surprise b-day party for my friend Jojo. Surrounded by friends from UCR and such...it was a cool to see everyone again. We actually had plans to go out to a club afterwards...but once I got in my car..I thought about it...and decided to just go home.

Maybe it was the idea about the club. Sure I like the music, but I guess I've always seen clubs as pick-up spots. I may be looking for a relationship..but I really doubt I'll find (at least a solid one) at a club. Plus the I didn't feel all to comfortable with all the people going. They are all nice..and I know them all...but I guess..I just wasn't feeling it tonite.

We've all grown up now. Everyone doing their own thing. Life consisting of work and sleep...with the occasional party on weekends. I looked around at dinner and saw 20 plus people...all there to celebrate Jojo's bday. I knew most of them from college and apo..but did I really know them? Many of them live together as roommates or frequently call each other for things. I felt as if I was more of a tag-a-long or fifth wheel. I find my life has consisted of quite a bit of friends. But for me..there are certain levels of friendships. I know quite a number of people...but most of them are only at the aquaintance level. There are only a few people that I can say I really confide in. Yet even with all these people..I can say I've never really found my core group of friends. People that I can call on at anytime..and receive/expect calls from. A group with which I can plan outings and stuff..and know that they'll be there everytime.

I guess growing up as a military brat and constantly changing schools...I never developed long term friendships. Sadly it must have conditioned me to do that even after my school transitions stabilized. I never worried about friends since I could always count on my family. So in school...I just did my work and went home. If I wanted to go to a movie, I would go with my cousins. I didn't interact with my classmates outside of school. I wanted to say this lasted till college...but I guess in all respects it still affects me now. I do have people I confide in and people I go out with. At least when I had a girlfriend..I had that one special person that was always there for me. Call me selfish..but yeah. I try to always be the helpful one...the one to support my friends in their time of need. And I guess right now ..I need the person who will be there just for me.

Hey Christina...sorry to hear about your man.
hee hee. you know they've already gotten to the greatest hits albums.

I realized that the my blogging tended to stop when my sister came back home. I'm glad I still prefer human interaction...as opposed to living in front of my computer. Don't get me wrong...many things have gone on in the past weeks...some good, some bad...but I was just too busy to blog about it.
As for right now..I'm just going to give you a lil blog-blip.(trademark..ray...hee hee)

First..my sister just left for Australia. In the past few years...we've become really close. Especially during this holiday season..the three of us (my sister, my cousin, and myself) were almost inseperable. I'm saddened that she is already going back to school..and I hope she has fun in Australia. Love ya sis.

Secondly, I am about to leave to do my new years resolution. I've decided to go to the gym everyday for at least an hour. (who knows how long this will last.) Well the first day resulted in 15 minutes of stretching and overexerting myself on the bike for a 5 minute mile. Not a good way to start being that I haven't seriously seen the gym for a number of years now. Overexerted to the point that I felt nauseated and had to get home. Oh man..what a way to start..but I'm going to head back... Gotta start somewhere. =)

Happy New Year Everyone

Been really busy lately. Went thru an interview that went pretty well. Thanks to my sister and cousin..got more into the Christmas Spirit this year. I'll have to post more later...(oh yeah..went to disneyland)..otherwise

Merry Christmas Everyone!!

Sorry...I don't do cards very well. Thank you to those that sent me cards.

Oh man...its just been one of those days. =(

After an enjoyable weekend at the Magic Kingdom (Both Disneyland and California Adventures..-will blog on it later)..I am welcomed back into my living hell known as work. It would have been great to just take an additional day off, but NOoooo.. I don't have the luxury of doing that since I am a teacher. Any day I miss or someone else teaches..I find myself doing double time re-teaching or correcting for that day.

So today is supposed to be a hands-on day..building and structuring a network. You'd figure that after 6 intense weeks of study and application with Microsoft Windows 2000..that this part should be cake. Well..reality started setting in...as well as frustration. Not just the students mind you...but on myself too.

I love the holidays and such...but I can't wait till the New Year. Hopefully by that time, all the hiring freezes will be thawed. The market may be looking at an upturn...the question is whether or not I'll make it to it.

Oh yeah..I was supposed to register (Cerritos College) today too...shoot.

Things are looking good now =). I sealed that contract teaching MCSE on Sundays so that definately made my day....but it was only part of it. The contractor has been really impressed with my partner and I, so future projects with him are definate possibilities. I also returned the phone calls of two placement agencies. They were also very impressed with my resume..and can think of opportunities that will be available for me. I probably won't do any transition till after the new year..but its nice to know that I'm wanted/needed. Well..had a lack of sleep last night working on my test...so I'm off. Plus its mom's bday...not that any of my siblings forgot =p.

Art Test

If I were a work of art, I would be Claude Monet's Waterlilies. I am soft and gentle, but very colourful. Although based in reality, I look at the world through a filter of impressions which shape how I see things. Splashes of light help to define my presence and bring an endearing quality. Which work of art would you be? The Art Test

I thought of myself more like a Degas..but this test seems pretty accurate.

Christmas is coming closer..and all I can think of is getting out of my job. Can't wait for the new year to start sending out those resumes again. I did get that job making big bucks teaching MCSE stuff on Sundays...but I think my partner may be getting a bit overzealous. We'll have to see how that works out. I also registered at Cerritos college today with my cousin. Just taking a look at that Nursing program. My Biomed background covers a lot of the core stuff, so finish that and I'm in a 2 year program. I'm still thinking if its worth it. Funny..while I was checking classes..I was highlighting classes in Solaris, Unix, and other computer stuff..then looking at the Anatomy/Physiology classes. I also did a consultation for my old elementary school...definate possibilities there. Quite a few things to wrap up this week.

Also took that test...humm...don't like the idea of being a type of fruit..and the questions were kinda wack...but here are the results.


Strawberry: 50/100 Pear: 20/100 Banana: 10/100 Tomato: 10/100 Lemon: 0/100

Take the What Fruit Are You? test by webkin and aaronr!