whoa..it has been some time since the last post. A lot has happened...I just haven't really gotten it to this journal. Most recently..I got the illustrious first post on a comment to Ernie's blog. Since, then I became a little self-conscious about my blog and now am thinking of a new layout. I really should work on a new design. =/

Things have been looking up lately. I am glad the holidays are over and now I'm just looking forward to new things. I'm still teaching only one class at work, but I am currently looking for alternatives. I contracted with my old elementary school to work on their network on an on-call basis. It will provide me a little money on the side..as well as a chance to play with new network ideas. I was also working for this position at the county..but was just short of the 4 year full-time experience requirement. This is the position I plan to retire with. Actually...it was this and seeing my ex-girlfriend at Dave and Busters recently that has given me a new perspective.

I realize that this is a brand new day of a brand new life. The economy may not look good, but I do have a lot of options. I've recently started mass mailing the resume and am hoping that things will go well. I have been taken pretty good care of myself. Even with only one class..I'll be starting that part time teaching in March, where I'll be teaching on Sundays for significant pay. As February and March come closer, the hiring season will be in full swing. I'm looking forward to getting back into some real world scenarios and problems...with hopefully less stress.

As for relationships....I'm over it. I realized after seeing my ex recently...that I was really over her. That may seem harsh to say...but what I didn't realize was that somewhere in the back of my mind..I was still believing beyond hope that somehow we would be together. I guess it could have been the first love thing. It could have been since we meant so much to each other. When I hear that song from Babyface "what if", all I could think about was past/possible relationships. When I saw her at Dave and Busters..with her husband.. it just hit me. I had seen them together before..and it is not as if it bothered me. It just never hit me. Well sometime last week, I saw them and realized...that she and I were not meant to be. We would still be good friends..but we had grown apart in interests and ideas. It was also around this time that I went clubbing with my cousin. Again..I'm not big on clubbing..but it was really for my cousin..and I just wanted to chill. It was really cool since I actually caught up with some friends that I saw there. I wasn't expecting much...and it turned out to be a really good night. They say love come when you least expect it...well I've given up looking..so we will have to see how long it will take to find me. In the meantime I'm just going to try new things and enjoy life.

11:30 on a Saturday night. I should be out painting the town, partying with friends and drinking it up. Instead, where do I find myself?...sitting at home. Sad you think? Actually this was my choice. I had just come back from a surprise b-day party for my friend Jojo. Surrounded by friends from UCR and such...it was a cool to see everyone again. We actually had plans to go out to a club afterwards...but once I got in my car..I thought about it...and decided to just go home.

Maybe it was the idea about the club. Sure I like the music, but I guess I've always seen clubs as pick-up spots. I may be looking for a relationship..but I really doubt I'll find (at least a solid one) at a club. Plus the I didn't feel all to comfortable with all the people going. They are all nice..and I know them all...but I guess..I just wasn't feeling it tonite.

We've all grown up now. Everyone doing their own thing. Life consisting of work and sleep...with the occasional party on weekends. I looked around at dinner and saw 20 plus people...all there to celebrate Jojo's bday. I knew most of them from college and apo..but did I really know them? Many of them live together as roommates or frequently call each other for things. I felt as if I was more of a tag-a-long or fifth wheel. I find my life has consisted of quite a bit of friends. But for me..there are certain levels of friendships. I know quite a number of people...but most of them are only at the aquaintance level. There are only a few people that I can say I really confide in. Yet even with all these people..I can say I've never really found my core group of friends. People that I can call on at anytime..and receive/expect calls from. A group with which I can plan outings and stuff..and know that they'll be there everytime.

I guess growing up as a military brat and constantly changing schools...I never developed long term friendships. Sadly it must have conditioned me to do that even after my school transitions stabilized. I never worried about friends since I could always count on my family. So in school...I just did my work and went home. If I wanted to go to a movie, I would go with my cousins. I didn't interact with my classmates outside of school. I wanted to say this lasted till college...but I guess in all respects it still affects me now. I do have people I confide in and people I go out with. At least when I had a girlfriend..I had that one special person that was always there for me. Call me selfish..but yeah. I try to always be the helpful one...the one to support my friends in their time of need. And I guess right now ..I need the person who will be there just for me.

Hey Christina...sorry to hear about your man.
hee hee. you know they've already gotten to the greatest hits albums.

I realized that the my blogging tended to stop when my sister came back home. I'm glad I still prefer human interaction...as opposed to living in front of my computer. Don't get me wrong...many things have gone on in the past weeks...some good, some bad...but I was just too busy to blog about it.
As for right now..I'm just going to give you a lil blog-blip.(trademark..ray...hee hee)

First..my sister just left for Australia. In the past few years...we've become really close. Especially during this holiday season..the three of us (my sister, my cousin, and myself) were almost inseperable. I'm saddened that she is already going back to school..and I hope she has fun in Australia. Love ya sis.

Secondly, I am about to leave to do my new years resolution. I've decided to go to the gym everyday for at least an hour. (who knows how long this will last.) Well the first day resulted in 15 minutes of stretching and overexerting myself on the bike for a 5 minute mile. Not a good way to start being that I haven't seriously seen the gym for a number of years now. Overexerted to the point that I felt nauseated and had to get home. Oh man..what a way to start..but I'm going to head back... Gotta start somewhere. =)

Happy New Year Everyone

Been really busy lately. Went thru an interview that went pretty well. Thanks to my sister and cousin..got more into the Christmas Spirit this year. I'll have to post more later...(oh yeah..went to disneyland)..otherwise

Merry Christmas Everyone!!

Sorry...I don't do cards very well. Thank you to those that sent me cards.

Oh man...its just been one of those days. =(

After an enjoyable weekend at the Magic Kingdom (Both Disneyland and California Adventures..-will blog on it later)..I am welcomed back into my living hell known as work. It would have been great to just take an additional day off, but NOoooo.. I don't have the luxury of doing that since I am a teacher. Any day I miss or someone else teaches..I find myself doing double time re-teaching or correcting for that day.

So today is supposed to be a hands-on day..building and structuring a network. You'd figure that after 6 intense weeks of study and application with Microsoft Windows 2000..that this part should be cake. Well..reality started setting in...as well as frustration. Not just the students mind you...but on myself too.

I love the holidays and such...but I can't wait till the New Year. Hopefully by that time, all the hiring freezes will be thawed. The market may be looking at an upturn...the question is whether or not I'll make it to it.

Oh yeah..I was supposed to register (Cerritos College) today too...shoot.

Things are looking good now =). I sealed that contract teaching MCSE on Sundays so that definately made my day....but it was only part of it. The contractor has been really impressed with my partner and I, so future projects with him are definate possibilities. I also returned the phone calls of two placement agencies. They were also very impressed with my resume..and can think of opportunities that will be available for me. I probably won't do any transition till after the new year..but its nice to know that I'm wanted/needed. Well..had a lack of sleep last night working on my test...so I'm off. Plus its mom's bday...not that any of my siblings forgot =p.

Art Test

If I were a work of art, I would be Claude Monet's Waterlilies. I am soft and gentle, but very colourful. Although based in reality, I look at the world through a filter of impressions which shape how I see things. Splashes of light help to define my presence and bring an endearing quality. Which work of art would you be? The Art Test

I thought of myself more like a Degas..but this test seems pretty accurate.

Christmas is coming closer..and all I can think of is getting out of my job. Can't wait for the new year to start sending out those resumes again. I did get that job making big bucks teaching MCSE stuff on Sundays...but I think my partner may be getting a bit overzealous. We'll have to see how that works out. I also registered at Cerritos college today with my cousin. Just taking a look at that Nursing program. My Biomed background covers a lot of the core stuff, so finish that and I'm in a 2 year program. I'm still thinking if its worth it. Funny..while I was checking classes..I was highlighting classes in Solaris, Unix, and other computer stuff..then looking at the Anatomy/Physiology classes. I also did a consultation for my old elementary school...definate possibilities there. Quite a few things to wrap up this week.

Also took that test...humm...don't like the idea of being a type of fruit..and the questions were kinda wack...but here are the results.


Strawberry: 50/100 Pear: 20/100 Banana: 10/100 Tomato: 10/100 Lemon: 0/100

Take the What Fruit Are You? test by webkin and aaronr!

WOW..its been a while..but I was really happy on Friday. =)
Quite a story..so I'll break it up a bit.

Part 1 - Morning
Well..it was a Friday! So for some reason..I was just usually happy in the morning. Really!..I'm still not much of a morning person..but there was just something about that day that was going to be good.

So I arrive at work and cover what I need to do for work. No test to administer or work out..but there was an overall relaxed feeling in the classroom. During my break, I went to check my email...and thatz where the good news starts.

Work has been bad lately...not because of the job...but mainly my current conditions. Down to one class and dealing with office politics. So I've been looking for other alternatives. Well earlier in the week, one of my former colleges informed me that he had found an opportunity teaching at another school for 3 times the amount I'm working at now. Its not a permanent position, but something I can do on weekends. So I spoke with the interviewer and felt everything went well. On Friday We (my collegue and I) actually got the offer to teach the class. We are going to confirm it and work out the details this week.

Also on that note I've been getting some phone calls from high level executive placement firms. I told them what I was interested and they sounded pretty confident. The scary thing is that they have a quick turn around time as far as placement is concerned. Once I tell them I'm ready...one company says they will have something for me within 5 days, the other...within 3 days. I stated that I'm committed to whatever company (and my students) I work for and that I've committed to teaching this class till mid Jan. (Always figured a committed person would sound good). So they told me to call again in Jan, towards the end of the class...and we'll see what happens. I'm pretty excited about that.
on a side note..also started thinking about a career in Nursing. I started out Pre-med in College..but realized that I really wasn't looking forward to all the study and years of med school. I never really considered a career in nursing...but I do have some friends within the field..and it doesn't seem like that terrible an option. There is a heavy demand for nurses...especially male RNs.

Part 2 - Afternoon
I love being Filipino. Even though I'm only a quarter Filipino (1/2 white, 1/4 Filipino, 1/4 Chinese), I happen to identify with the Filipino side the most. My family on my mom's side were first generation immigrants, and my grandmother who took care of us spoke only Tagalog (dialect of the Philippines..BTW.pronounced ta-ga-loog....not Tag-a-Log...errr hate that). Anywayz..Filipinos have a definite family/community type culture. Usually when you go to a Filipino household..the first thing they will ask you is "Have you eaten yet?" and proceed to stuff you. Anywayz...the reason I bring this up is to give you a little background on what I did Friday Afternoon.

So I'm heading out to Riverside for the evening's Installation banquet. I realized that I wanted a larger capacity memory stick than the 8MB one that came with it. With that in mind I headed over to the retail store I once worked for. I still have some friends there so they occasionally hook me up with their discounts. I when to the memory department and met up with a Filipino sales clerk that used to be in back stock while I worked there...shot the breeze and had him write me up a quote. While I was walking around, one of my former cashier mates (now assistant manager of customer service) came up to me and we caught up on old times. When I finally got to the register..I specifically went to a register of this nice Filipino lady who I knew when I worked there. She gave me her discount, even though she said that she never gives it to anyone. The best part of the day was while I was thanking her. I offered to go get her some lunch, or even offered the Carl's Jr. I just bought in the car....but she said its ok. She said "parang anak ka naman". That roughly translates to you've been like a son to me. It was the best compliment I'd received. I've always tried to be the nice guy...its just my nature. I'm just happy to make others happy..but to be thought of as a son...I was moved.

Part 3 - Evening
So this evening is the Installation Banquet for UC Riverside's PI class. This particular class has been phenomenal in re-establishing the brotherhood and spirit of the UC Riverside chapter. As more time passes, I begin to feel more and more out of place at these events. Everyone knows of me (from their pledge test or seeing me at the meeting)..but I don't get a chance to really know the incoming members. Since I'm not out there anymore, it just hasn't been the same. Well, Our fraternity has a system of family lines...mine of which has gone on for some generations. I've been out of school for a number of years now...but I still have new lil, lil, lil (to some number) coming into my family. I would have felt bad if I didn't have something for them. I accounted for about 16 people, so I made a quick run and bought candy and some small items.

Many people know me, but only few have ever taken the time to really get to know me. Even though I have this PUBLIC blog..there are only a few people that I really confide in. I truly appreciate those people. Well this night, one did something really special for me.

Enida is one of my lil lil sibs from the chapter. Her line is actually the only line that is still alive (the other is adopted). Well this past year we've been talking (thanks to AOL IM) and hanging around a lot. Even though we've always been around...we never got the chance to just talk.

So before Friday, I was asking her what she was getting people for installs. She said that she had gotten gifts for just about everyone....except for me. I'm not one for gifts anymore. Since I started working..if I ever wanted something...I just bought it...or saved up for it. There really hasn't been anything that I've wanted lately. Yet..no one knows what to say if they ask what you want as a gift. So enida asked...and I jokingly said.."I want the Jaguar X-type" I had been looking at cars lately and the Jag just happened to be one of them. She replied asking if the hot wheels version be ok. I said ok... Now this whole time, I was just joking about the whole thing. Of course I didn't think that she would buy me a $34,000 car...or even the 99 cent version. It was just a passing comment.

So at installs, enida had a present for me. I wanted to get something special for her...but didn't really know what to get..nor did I have the time to find one. (to my defense..I did get her a nice candle holder). She wanted to see me open it...and there it was. My Jaguar. I was so happy...not just for the present...but to have you as a friend (and lil sib). Love ya sweetie. =)

Wow...its December already. Its already hard enough for me to realize that its the year 2001...let alone figure the 2002 is coming up. Life for me is pretty stagnet right now. Job is ok (actually bad with only half time). APO stuff is coming to an end for the year. Coming to a realization with relationships and potential relationships. Deciding what to do with these coming weeks and new year. I've always been one for the power of organization and motivation...its just right now there really hasn't been anything motivating me.
On a positive side..I just treated myself to a digital camera. =)

Wow...boy its been a while since I've last updated. Really just been busy with stuff and haven't had time to blog..but I'll definately update this. I'm not sick anymore so thats good. Been attending a bunch of APO stuff these past few weeks. Stupid stuff at work...so hopefully I find a way out. Right now...just waiting for the new year to start so that I can find something new. Definately need to start my workout schedule. (I know I say that all the time.)

Thank you to everyone that responded to the previous post. Right now just trying to make it thru the week. Just feeling in a BLAH mood, plus I'm feeling a bit sick. Hopefully I will get better soon..to enjoy that turkey!!! Yum Yum. Also need to work on the layout of this page and put in an info page. Happy Thanksgiving Everyone.

This post is rather difficult to write...so I guess I'll just start writing and see what comes about. I'm scared. I look at that statement and I wonder again why I even write or blog..but I guess its the idea to let it out to someone and see if anyone else can feel me too.

It about death and family. Such a odd combination. First off, I look at the death thing. Shit...it happens. Death happens. Its the natural course of events. We try to avoid it...we try not to think about it....but eventually it happens. Sadly, it means a loss of those near and dear to us... sometimes we look at our own mortality. What do we mean to each other? What effect do we make in this world? One only need to watch "Its a wonderful life" to get an example of how we affect each other..cheesy...but a very valid example...I digress. Anywayz...death is only the introduction to the post... I had a dream (no..not like MLK)...this one was actually scary. Superstition says that if you lose your teeth in a dream..it foretells of impending death. Well this is the second one in about a 2 months. I don't particularly believe in superstition...but it shows you what state I'm in. In the first dream, I was losing my top row of teeth..molars especially. In the second..the lower half. I can look at it and say..Hey..it was actually making way for a new set (really..it was..in the dream..try to look for the positive)..but to try to rationalize dreams is another issue for another day.

Well..tonite...I was making some tea...to help embattle an impending cold. While I was downstairs, I was overlooking my aunt. Without going into family politics...lets just say this aunt has been know as the general..namely because of her take charge type of attitude and management of the family. Now my family is far from the Cleavers... we've got our own skeletons. Well..as far as I'm concerned...this aunt has quite a few....again... I digress. Anyway..lets just say that she is not very high on my favorite aunts list. But in the past few months while she has been living here...I've caught quite a glimpse of her that I never knew before. She's not the church going type...yet there were a couple of times I caught her in prayer...by her bed. I was moved. She had always been the breadwinner for the family..but now due to financial problems...finds herself doing jobs on the side to make some extra cash. Its a sad sight for me..and must be an even worse feeling for her. But there she was tonite...watching a worn-out video tape of people singing Filipino music. I think that must have been it...because otherwise...I may not have noticed. But those sad sounding melodies...well...they made me think. Then I became scared.

It was actually about this time last year that I lost my grandmother. Such a scary coincidence. I just found her remembrance card and saw it was actually November 15 last year. Well..the weekend before my grandmother passed away...she was actually at my house. I loved my grandmother a lot. She meant a lot to me. She was sleeping in the front room when I came home one night...and I saw her sleeping under the light.
I thought to myself....
she's so motionless...
its almost like she's not there...
not alive.

She was very old and frail...but never stopped working...but there she was. I thought to myself...I'll just kiss her one the cheek...but instead..I figure...I'll just head to bed (didn't want to wake her). When I woke up the next morning...she was already awake...and ironing clothes...and I was running late to work so I didn't even kiss her goodbye. That afternoon, She went off to my other aunts home and later passed on. I always regretted not telling her how I felt...and I didn't ever get to tell her how much she meant to me. Only in prayers now...only in prayers.

So tonite I found myself in the same position again. My aunt, the general, has not been in the greatest of healths. All of my family is getting up there in years..so its not unlikely for me to think what I am thinking. I stirring my tea and I felt that same sense of impending doom. So this time I decided to take a different path. I finished making the tea and just sat down next to her. I told her that I loved her. Like I said...she's not high on the favorite aunts list..actually thinking about it..most of them probably aren't. But she is family. Regardless of her actions...she is family. I can see some good intentions in her actions. I want her to be happy as much as I want everyone to be happy...but I was sitting there and thinking how much she meant to me. So many times in the past, she was the one we turned to all the time...a kiss on the cheek as a five year old..got us a chinese red envelop with $5. But we've all grown up now. We've seen a lot of the skeletons...and haven't approved. Yet through all of that...I still love her. She's family.

I guess when it comes down to it...its about living each moment. We look at recent tragedies of terrorism...or even more so the recent tragedies of broken families...and think...How much do we mean to each other? Sometimes its easier to believe that the world could be a better place without us...but thatz definitely a false statement. We all make an impact on each other. I'm glad I do that as a teacher...and I hope to do that in all my actions. So to everyone that I know...I thank you for how you have changed me...and hope that I have only been a positive influence on YOUR life. Take this time..especially in this holiday season to thank those around you...but not just now..but all the time. I end this with two of my favorite passages.

I am a part of all that I have met;
Yet all experience is an arch wherethrough
Gleams that untravelled world, whose margin fades
For ever and for ever when I move.
How dull it is to pause, to make an end,
To rust unburnished, not to shine in use!

'Tis not too late to seek a newer world.
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.
-Lord Alfred Tennyson, Ulysses

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
-Dylan Thomas, Do not go gentle into that good night


ok..I feel a bit better now. Thank you all.

Saturday was a good day.
First off...I went to a service project. Its been a while since I've actually gone to a service project. Well..this one was at the Ronald McDonald House. The UCI group had arranged to go to the house and bake cookies for the residents. I wasn't all to sure if I wanted to go (since I have work that I still haven't completed)..but I went anyway. It was cool. First off..I was the human dough kneader and mixers. That 'ish is just killer on the wrists...but it really wasn't that bad. I was actually kinda bored with the simple dough kneading and baking so I decided to do a lil exploring at the home. That is where I met Desiree. I think she must have been about 10 or so. I really feel the need to connect to people...and baking cookies just wasn't enough. So I started talking to Desiree..but she was more interested in the cartoon she was watching (I seem to have this problem with most girls =p ). I decided to ask if she wanted to help out...so that peaked her interest and she decided to join us.
After I got her involved....she decided to bring in her step sister Rebecca. Later we got a number of the employees involved in decorating the cookies. Thats when it got to be even more fun. Well...if you know me...I can be fairly mature (debatable)....but if it were my choice...I'm more childlike (immature). So of course...I started a semi-food fight. I smeared a bit of frosting on Nancy, then Anita...then it just went around to everyone. Next thing I knew, I was running around the living room, avoiding getting iced by Linda and Anita. Even the employees turned on me throwing sprinkles at me. Oh man..too crazy... We cleaned up and took a tour of the building..that was about it. It was fun.

After the service project, I went out to a going away party for one of my coworkers. It is actually someone at CEI that I feel very close to. She was the person who hired me and was always my confidant at work. You always need those people...the ones that make the day go by faster. Her farewell party was at a place called Sing Sing. I was a little worried at first. I knew it was a interactive singing place...but I was told that if they catch you not singing...you become center-stage. The songs were dope...the pianos players were sooo funny. It was great. I had a good time...something I haven't had in a while. I'll miss ya Ramona =(

Oh man....its been a busy week.
First off...monday was supposed to be a day off. Well it was...but I still had to report to work if I was going to get paid. So I did. I was going to use that time to study...wrap up some stuff...you know...be productive. Instead I found myself sitting in a meeting most of the day. It was "ok"..but I could have found better use of my time.

Tues I had to cover for one of my coworkers...so I was at work from 7:30 to 10:30 at night. UGH!

Wed was UCLA -CHI chapter's 70th anniversary. It was GREAT. To see a bunch of old friends again...and see all the incoming pledges. These are the reasons why I still stay in APO. I didn't have to worry about APO drama (at least not at UCLA..Riverside is another story)...and instead I sat reminiscing with old friends. UCLA has always been my 2nd APO family..now even more so. After the event the founders and I (with some others) went to kick it at Toppers in Santa Monica. Its actually a bar at the top of the Marriott. Overlooking the city...it was dope. What a cool way to end the evening.

Thur was catch up on sleep nite.

Fri was Ms. APO. It has been an annual event at Riverside where the guys compete in a beauty pageant (UGLY pageant really). Well..it was cool cuz I was really just there to chill with my lil ones. Ms APO was fun...but it was a lot more fun when I actually knew who the contestants were. Enida took some pretty cool family pictures..so I'll see if I can post when she gets them uploaded.

Sat was memorable...actually it deserves its own post..

Friday was a wash. Some good news and some not so good news. Overall it was a good day. First...the bad news. So I called in for this telephone interview. I was psyching myself up about this company. A long standing financial company and according to my friend a really good place to work for. I was a bit hesitant because he told me they were very conservative, but I figured I'd try anyway. So I'm racing home after my coworkers going away party (sniff) and I brush up on the company history to make sure I knew something about them. Then I make the call. She's not in...but then again..I called 5 minutes too early. (hey..I was nervous). I left a message and waited again to call. About 8 minutes later, I call again. This time she's in. Great! I ask her how she was doing and hoped that she was feeling better (small talk..breaking the nervousness). She says she's fine and doing better. Then she proceeds to tell me that they liked the resume but they had already filled the position. I was like...ok. She thanked me for my interest and said they would keep my resume on file and would contact me if they found a match. I was like....ok...and said thank you. She then hung up.
So I'm sitting there...thinking...WTF? What just happened?
So I call her back...thanked her again...told her I was just a little taken aback since I thought I was going to have an interview. I then asked her to comment on my resume and basically ask why I wasn't chosen. Overall..it went well...and I did send a thank you card (very important)...but that was pretty much the bad news.
Now for the good news...actually two of them.
First off..it was my cousin Alfred's birthday. So I went out to dinner with family. I'm really happy for my cousin. Ever since he was a child, he always had the kindest heart. Even if he just got a new toy..he would give it up to make someone else happy. He's always been around here for me...saving me from boredom at home.and just overall kicking it. Of all my cousins, he's probably one of my closest friends.
Secondly, I got to talk to another close friend on Friday. I actually hadn't talked to her for quite sometime...but we were always close. She actually falls into a bigger category than friend..since she's the only other person besides christine that I've really sought a relationship with. Her name is vivian and I met her through APO in Davis. I'll spare the details for a different day on our whole friendship...but she was definately someone that I felt really close to. Over time as I got to know her, I just kept falling for her more and more. Besides being pretty (damn...and I know you may read this.)..she was definately a lot more than that. Our relationship was mostly based on our deep conversations over ICQ (e-relationship..humm). Well...my attempts at building a relationship just werent't mutual. We always had fun..and I still make her smile (sigh)..but distance was a problem for her. I still care deeply for her and just hearing her voice again made my heart leap. At the same time...I'm resigned to my role in the wings...as she is with someone else now. We're still friends..and I'm just happy for that. =). There's a lot more to this story...but I think I'll wait to tell it....keep you all in suspense.

Well...finally got sitemeter working....and now reblogger is not up. I guess we'll see whats up later.

The jobscene has been a bit quiet. Sadly, two people I confide in at work are leaving soon. Thats one thing about working, even if you have the worst job in the world...it all seems to be ok if you have someone there with you. Personally, I felt working at Fry's Electronics...I was under terrible conditions,..but honestly..my coworkers were great. I actually looked forward to work each day. Right now..things at my current job are just so irratic. I'm not sure what is going on..so I don't feel really stable. Even though I'm doing a good job and get high evaluations...my status is still questionable.
So..that one job with my mom's office is looking good again. I have a phone interview with a mortgage company on Fri and I got a positive reply from CSULA for a tech position I didn't know I applied for. I really need to get on the ball again and send out resumes..but I realize that it is getting closer to the holidays...so timing is just bad. Holidays and this economy...its not the best time to be looking around...but at least I still have a job.

Yippee...finally got the archives working..to some degree (thanks to my Bro). Also finally posted the Nov 1 post...ok.ok..I cheated..but still...it needed to be. There have been a lot of things going on since Nov 1.
Well...been busy doing APO stuff. The Nov 3 weekend was the Fall Fellowship at UCR. It was a lot of fun. My bro and sis drove down as well as some friends from Nor Cal. We first spent friday watching movies and hanging out at the Block. I watched debut again with my sis, then all of us watched Monsters Inc. (dope movie). The whole time I was watching, all I could think of was how much processing power it took to animate all the hairs on the blue monster (yeah..thatz a techie for you), but the little girl was sooo cute. Its a must see. Afterwards we went to hang out with the UCI group.
Fall Fellowship was SPECTACULAR. Being the advisor to UCR, I was well aware of a number of problems that the group was encountering..but overall the event went without a hitch (at least none that I saw). Everyone had a good time. I didn't realize that I still had that pride for my chapter. I had recently been suffering APO-burnout..but the events of that weekend helped re-light that fire. The same goes for my sister... I guess my lil one is growing up...and now she's just about freaky. I've been trying to post to her reblogger..but its not working. so here it is
sam - First the spank the monkey game and now this. Dang girl....did you put someone up against the wall? Tell me ..tell me. =p
but whatever makes you happy...(as long as its mostly legal).
Anyways..I had a lot of fun...with my chapter, my section, and guest...especially with the Davis crew. Shout outs to Christina, Alan, Lily, and everyone who came down. I'm glad you all had fun.

going to post something here...important for nov 1
-ok..so here it is...the reason why I needed to make sure when I posted this..its said Nov 1.-
I was thinking about this blog on my way to Riverside this night. I took a look at my phone and realized....shit! its November 1. Its my anniversary. Now many of you may be wondering..what anniversary? It is actually the date that I my first love and I actually got together. Realize now that I am very much single...but for those that have ever had a relationship..sometimes you wonder when did it all end....or even did it end. But that is neither here nor there. The important part of this story is that I started realizing something. I had been with Christine starting Nov 1 of 1993. We were together till Spring of 1997. Oh my god (I said to myself)..its been over 4 years since we broke up and I'm still thinking about it. Granted she has been my first and only love (so far...i hope).. its still very odd when you think about it. She and I are still good friends. She has been happily married for some time now..and yes I did go to the wedding. I am happy for her.
Some of you may be thinking...get over her Ray..you need to move on. I agree....don't think I haven't tried/done so. I guess..when you love with such a passion...even 4 years later...it still lingers. Sadly..I figure many of you can relate to that.
So right now...I've coming to terms with this "moving on". I'm a rather sensitive person when it comes to relationships. I don't open myself to very many people. Shit...the idea of this blog seems rather odd in that sense...but maybe this is that shout in the dark....yelling my feelings not to any-ONE, but to everyone..and not caring who is actually listening. There has been a couple attempts at relationships past Christine...one actually that I went all out for...but it wasn't mutual on her side. So...I try to keep a happy thought..and know that someone is out there...and eventually it will happen....
My only wish now is that it will happen sooner than later.