So everyone has gone their separate ways for summer…and now I sit here and re-evaluate my life.

So what of my life so far? Work and APO. Humm...that about sums it up. Yes boys and girls…when we leave school, there really isn't much to do besides work. So for all you recent graduates (congratulations by the way ^_^), find something that makes you happy...or at least will suffice till you find something that makes you happy.

Ok...so lets look at work. I know I complain about it all the time...but I think thats just because I always complain about work. Suffice it to say…it passes the time. Otherwise I'd be bored beyond belief. Anyways. I spent about 6 hours working on the school network. I didn't know it took Win 98 three fricken times to reboot...just to load...and I was sitting there for an hour just watching. ARRGG. It actually made me wonder if this career is something I want. I started thinking about other options again...nursing mainly. Who knows? Odd thing is I never really appreciated my work (teaching). I came into work this morning and got a compliment from some students (not my own). They said that the talk around school is that I am the best teacher there. Not to brag…I knew I was popular...but I didn't really pride myself as the best. I think right now its just a case of boredom. I haven't really challenged myself to anything anymore. I need to study some new material that we will be teaching...but right now I just don't care. sad huh. I want to redo this website...studying HTML and stuff...yet I find myself blogging and chatting most of my time away. Look for work...study this...research that...oh man.

Now APO. Wow...it was Fall 1994 when I first joined. I've met and made many friends during that time...throughout the state and beyond. Both my brother and sister are members. I made many of my closest friends due to it. Why do I stay? Well, its about the people. Every year...new people, new experiences. Its like teaching to me. I get so see people come in and become better leaders because of it. It has always been more than just a club. I've seen people come and go, but have never really been distant from them. I stay really involved... a lot more than most. My most recent pleasure was seeing Rho Rho - UC Irvine recharter. I get quite attached. Really. It becomes less about the organization and more about the people. APO has actually been a deciding factor for me in life decisions. Do I move to Virginia/Hawaii for work? What about moving up north? What about Rho Rho -UCI? What about Alpha Delta Theta - UCR?

So in this re-evaluation I come to look at my own goals. The one thing I wanted to do in my life was be a good father. I have lived that tenant in all my dealings and relationships. As a teacher, making sure my students understand what is going on in the subject matter. As a friend, helping my friends in and thru whatever hardships they go thru. I found a career that would keep me financially happy and able to raise a family. Money in the bank, not living paycheck to paycheck, looking for a house, and a new car. What is missing? The most important part.

My soulmate. My partner.

Rather difficult to find this person. Been looking...thought I found it...then it wasn't...still looking...or am I really? I want it to happen...but maybe I just have to let it happen. I realized that I have been sitting around thinking/sulking about it too long. Why not me? When is my turn? What do I have to do?

Now...I just need to find something to do. Something new...take my mind off it. Planning on developing my other skills...maybe take a cooking class, dancing, who knows. I really just have to get off this depressing state. Oh well..we'll just have to see.

"Thank you for curing me of my ridiculous obsession with Love."

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn
Is just to love and be loved in return"

-Christian, Moulin Rouge-

Who would have guessed it....once you start getting things back on track..what happens. You get sick. So here I am sitting at home, recovering from a cold. Not too bad...only a day so far.

Things have been fairly quiet since Finals started. No more apo events...at least not right now. gotta start planning for summer events and stuff. Watching the NBA Finals..but nothing really to watch there. Realizing that I am a Laker-hater. I respect the team and their skills and all, but would rather see someone else there. Anyways...Three Peat Successful. Go LA. Still thing the Kings should have been there...and what is an east coast final without Iverson or Carter??

Instead, I'm been trying to get healthy and play more ball. Had a fun time this past Friday. Played BBall at 24 hour fitness in Lake Forest. Started scoring and looking like a champ. This was of course after playing too games and looking like a chump. Either way..it was all fun. Too bad that was the last time I saw the gym (stupid cold). I did go to an Angels baseball game that friday with Clint from UCI. It was hella cool. I've never been a big fan of Baseball, but went mainly to kick it with Clint. It was a lot of fun. The angels won!

Trying to learn HTML so I can do that redesign. Actually trying to figure out DreamWeaver. Gonna get it eventually. Got a lot of things I can try to accomplish, so I'm making a list of things to do.

whew...ok..I am still alive...
hardly...but very busy.

First off...its too late for me to blog...but I just wanted you all to know that I am still alive.
Been really busy with work and events/banquets.
Also...now I'm actually eating again...(instead of missing meals due to work)...which tends to cause me to sleep more..(afternoon naps that last 4-5 hours).

so things are going well...just catching up on things. ^_^.
Will post more later.

Ok...Back to reality.

I'm back. Yeah!!! Free from teaching at night. I made it to my first APO meetings this week. WOW. I have seen how much UCI has grown since I've been gone. 40+ great pledges and now the meeting room is twice as big. It was cool because Grace, John, and Jeannie came down to visit to. Pretty cool.

This weekend I also went to Dave and Linnea's Wedding. It was a beautiful ceremony out in the Malibu Hills. Two people truly made for each other. I know you are enjoying Paris right now. Have fun! I was able to catch up with most of my friends from UCLA. I can't believe it had been so long since I had seen some of them. Had some yummy food (2 Prime Ribs) and great conversation. We gotta hang out more often. Gonna relink Diana again..since she's updating now =p.

Still a busy week. House closed for fumigation…so I finally got back home on Tues. Had to crash at my aunts house and some brothers at UCI. Mostly hanging with UCI events, meeting with Pomona on Thur. Busy Busy Busy…

But then again…Its memorial day weekend and SD banquet. BUCA crew reunited again…and we’re definitely gonna make up for lost time. ^_^

C-Ya There!!

My bad…I really didn't finish that last post. I had been working on it...but didn't mean to publish it yet. Oh well...I told Al I wouldn't clown on him as much. Ok…maybe I will. So lets just put this into perspective.

For the females: If you find yourself dancing at a club…and a guy (definitely not your type) comes up to you and starts grinding/freaking/dancing too close... you tend to just ignore and walk away right? Hey...I'm not speaking from experience here (#$%$ you )..but generally speaking...thats the case right…or so I notice.^_^

Well…according to the book of Al...if someone wants to be that close to you...and he/she (hahahah) has a pulse...then its all good. (Oh man...this is too funny). So I'm dancing at ALL CAL, making eye contact with those three girls, and when I look back at my group...I see this girl all over Al. Oh man...it was quite a site (being respectful here). All I could see were that huge grin on Al as she got closer and closer to him. Hey...she was a nice girl...but I don't know Al...you may have some issues. HAHA...so according to Al, it was her who initiated everything...complete from the grinding, to sitting with his arm around her on the chairs. Must have been difficult man. HAHA. In his defense...yeah...its true...at least he was talking to some people...but I would honestly say that this was not one to brag about.

So after we dropped them off...Bryan and I proceeded to clown him all night. Supposedly pretending to be asleep so he wouldn't have to talk to her on the ride home. Sure didn't stop that arm around her again. HAHA. oh man…it was too much fun. I still can't believe you called Grace and Justin that night... just to give your side first. You know they will still believe me though. Hahaha.

Oh well... so now I'm gonna link Al's site too. Check the side for that tornado in your eye ball. Oh in Al's case…that white stuff on your cheek. Just clowning dogg

Till next time
Peace out.

OK...so this is a little late...but still...I have to mention it.

So mothers day weekend...I headed out to UCI for a service project. Really cool seeing everyone again...and now meeting some of the pledges (you guys are all cool). While I'm there…I'm just catching up with friends when Al asks me if I can go with him to a hip hop event at LA that night. Well...I was going to kick it with some friends, but decided we'd try to do both. See...the thing is...he was going to kick it with this girlie from UCLA. Not exactly the type of girl I'd figure he'd go for...but to each his own. Plus...I wanted to just get out. So...with both Rabanara brothers, we rolled back to my house and had to clean up a bit before the event. Big Ups to Bryan for mastering the Steam Vacuum. We had jollibee for lunch and rolled out to LA for the event.

We make it to UCLA...and have to wait hella long...why? well...girls. What do you expect? =p Taking forever to get ready. Al's all ready with a bouquet of hershey kiss roses that he just stole from the Service projects. Something about promising her flowers…and chocolates...so this was 2 for 1. We pick up the girls…and head out to the Westin.

What I didn't realize was that this was ALL CAL. All the Chinese Student Associations from respective UCs were there...representing...with their hip hop dance troops. Hella fine Asian women in the house. So Bryan hits up this girl from SD he'd been talking to and disappears for the night. Meanwhile Al and I are chiln with the two girls from UCLA. Now...the girl I'm dancing with is definately a shorty. In attitude and stature. She was dancing pretty well...and it was all cool. I did have my eye on these three girls that were dancing in the corner. Dang…hella fine. (damn...still too much norcal). I tried to test this "new and improved" ray with no fear to talk to girls...but lets just say it didn't happen. I did approach...but not in enough time. Anyways... This story is about Al.

Finally off the night shift...back to visiting and kickin it again. ^_^

Gonna be offline for the weekend...getting kicked out of the house because they are going to fumigate it. Pretty busy weekend. Got work on Sunday and a wedding to attend. Congrats Dave and Linnea ^_^. See ya soon.

So..still have to write about All CAL and AL's "girl". More to come later.

Happy Birthday to me...Happy Birthday to me... ^_^

Thank you to everyone that wished me well on my Birthday. I guess you can tell that I am really big on birthdays...especially my own (sasami514..hint hint). I guess its because I do a lot for others (not trying to brag...sorry...I'm really modest...really). Service to others...and all that stuff. A birthday is one day where one can be somewhat selfish. Its your birthday...no one elses (usually). Of course last year...sucks...had my bday on mothers day...so my special day was spent taking mom out to dinner. Anyways, I was on the DL all day. Not saying anything…and just seeing who remembered.

Kinda made me sad about not having someone again. When I was with my girlfriend...we would try to be the first one to greet each other right at Midnight. Well…the midnight hour passed...and I was sitting online just chiln... la dee da. Then I decided to just log off and go to sleep. The first message (Text) came in at 12:30 from a friend in Irvine. Later on my sister called and we just talked for a while. It was nice. After waking up for work throughout the day...I would get phone calls/texts from people. It was cool. I do things without asking...so it was nice to be appreciated and remembered. Got a couple calls and posts from the buca crew...all and all a good day…except for the fact that I had to work still.

PS...I did post some of this on May 14...I just didn't publish till now (May 18)

May 10...its Friday!! Countdown of 4 more days after tonite...till I'm done working nights. I have already finished the class...now its just finding projects to do to help the students become more confident in their skills. They have been great...its just that I want to get to do other things at night again. ^_^

Got some APO drama/issues going on in my chapters in the section. Disappointed that I am stuck in class and unable to go out and help personally…but there are quite a bit of leaders developing through these trials and tribulations. I just hope they are ready for those challenges...but it is those challenges that will make them better leaders.

So now for the words of wisdom...or ray's ranting...and today’s issue will be....LIFE.

So I'm driving to work today...running a bit late (as usual)...and I notice these trucks on the freeway. They were for the abortionNO.org site. I intentionally did not link it...its not a pretty picture...and neither were the pictures they used on the side of the trucks (2 of them) to "promote" (for lack of a better work) their issue. I'm not looking for a debate on this one...but I'm pretty middle of the road on this one. It just got me thinking about life...and here's why.

I had just gotten of the phone yesterday with one of my friends. She had called sounding somewhat upset. Once I broke through the small talk, I learned that one of her close friends had attempted suicide. The reason for the attempt was over a failed relationship. Thankfully...she had intervened and prevented any irreversible harm...but still...I was in shock. First off for my friend...college student and all around great girl...the fact that she had to endure this. Life is hard enough and having to deal with other people thinking of giving up their own. No one should have to go thru that. Secondly, for the friend that was attempting suicide. OH MY GOD!! (SMACK). Can anything be that bad that it is worth giving up everything? I see people everyday, and know that they all have the potential to be so much. I know relationships can be tough...trust me I know. To end it all over a guy/girl that doesn't see the real beauty within. It would be their loss. Honestly. But suicide has to be the most selfish act one can do. Do you not realize that there are so many people around that care for you? If you ever question it...then realize this. I'll miss you. I don't care if I never even meet you...the world is at a loss without you. You may not realize this…but its true.

(Sigh) (breathe) (Sigh)..whoa. Ok...got a little too involved in that one. Remember this is behind the smile. Can't put a smiley face on everything. Just writing that down I started thinking of close friends of my own that were thinking the same thing...and I'll even admit myself that there was a point when it crossed my mind. Hey…we're only human...and sometimes challenges seem overwhelming. But toughen up…and be strong. Find someone to be there for you in support. If you are anyone I know that reads this blog...I'll be there for you.

Life is precious...in any form. Take time to just experience it. While walking past a co-workers office this morning...I actually stopped to smell the roses on her desk (yeah clique, but still.). Its a nice day outside (hopefully)...take an hour out and go to the beach (if you are close to one). Live life. Take chances. Experience it. It only happens once...so enjoy it while you have it. I don't care if you are 8 or 88 years old...take and experience each day...no regrets.
-excelsior-

Ahh yes...Things are going good lately. This past weekend I actually got to just spend the day (Sat) taking care of a lot of loose ends. Sadly I was not able to participate in the MS. APO activities up in Davis, which I hear I missed out on a great time. I'm planning on making up for it when I head up from Davis Banquet on June 1. ^_^

I spent most of Sat cleaning up my email-box. Bunch of emails had to save…and since I use hotmail...saved it to Word Documents. Felt pretty organized after that. Cousin came over and we just kicked it for a while. It was nice to just do nothing.

We're down to about 7 days left on the night class. Last day will be May 16. Can't wait to get my nights back and hang out with people again. Of course... It will suck to work on the 14th. (514 514 514….humm). I'll make up for that sometime too.

Oh and I checked out Grace's profile recently...

buca: its a way of life...

So cool...hard to believe after one night at dinner...a group of four people could become such close friends. ^_^ (tear)... You guys are too cool.

Oh yeah...almost forgot...as far as job searching...still waiting on the UCI one. Lets see if that one works out. But I did get a call from a former student of mine. Seems he's working for an up and coming network consulting company...and he was asking if I would be interested in joining up. They have 300 clients shared between 2 people. I'm also looking into a Chief Information Officer (CIO)- type positions with some other networking companies. Gonna send out a couple resumes...it doesn't hurt to check all my options...plus it was nice to be remembered by that student. So...I'm not stressing as much on the job dealio...can't wait to stop some of these jobs (morning, night, Sundays...sucks). Its tough work, but enjoy the security that comes along with it. So otherwise...I'll just let you know.

How do you know when you've been too busy?
1. When you have 4 DVDs that you bought some time ago..and haven't watched them yet. (Usual Suspects...special edition)
2. When you have the past 3 issues of Maxim...and you haven't taken the time to really look thru them yet. (Kelly Hu on the cover will stop me from doing anything...just to look)
and
3. When you cousin has been getting Victoria Secret's catalog for the past few months (sometimes 2 per month) and you haven't even looked thru them to ogle at the girls.

Well today I came home between classes and decided to just chill. On the table was an issue of Victoria's Secret Catalog. I "glanced" thru it and discovered the V-String Oh yeah..^_^ Now to get an up close and personal look (when I find someone to model it). What else have I been missing??

HOT DAMN

Aiight...here is my recap on the weekend of fun in SD. It was great to go see the Buca crew again (missing one...really missing that one person...but we understand). I took off from Anaheim to drive down to SD that Friday night so that I could have more time to hang out with everyone, plus drinking up that night and not having to worry about driving. Sadly the only thing I had to eat was a crappy slice of mushroom pizza. ( Since teaching nights...I tend not to eat dinner anymore. Just not enough time...but this mushroom thing will come up again later...and not in a good way). I made it down to Grace's place and started to chill. They (justin and grace) had just come back from dinner and I was hella hungry (hella hanging out with norcal peeps too much.). We decided to head out to TGIF to get started and grab something to eat (thanks grace for the sandwich). The appetizers were cool...nothing can top the JD Wings. and for some reason the Purple Hooter was hella strong. So we had a couple of drinks there..(not enough food in me still)…and headed back for the apartment festivities.

Now justin went thru and bought some stuff. included there was this ghetto ass HOT DAMN. Now I used to drink HOT DAMN before..mainly cuz of its cinamon flavor. It is weak stuff …only 20% or so...but we just tore that thing up. Decided to take shots for every sexual reference in Robin Hood Men in Tights. Oh man...We made it to the ...shoot...I don't even remember...before I decide to "sleep" on the couch. We finished the bottle...and it basically finished me. Really...I'm not weaksauce like that. I blame it on the lack of food and working all day. (ray getting defensive...ready for the next challenge). But it seems I'm not the only one who was messed up after that HOT DAMN.

So we spent most of Sat hungover. Oh man...it sucked. Now honestly...if it comes to trying to prove yourself as the shitnit and going all day with alcohol in your stomach or "relieving" yourself actually feeling better all day...I suggest the latter. Eating lunch at Hooters is not the same when you feel like shit. Even when the waitress is ALL UP IN YOUR FACE to ask you what your order is. So the three of us were really lagging all day long. We didn't get better till later that evening. Then we hit the family fun center, specifically the batting cages. I still have a bit of my swing...so it was cool. After that tried to stay up to watch the movie...but ended up heading home that night because of work the next day. sucks... so...the moral of this story. Eat before you drink...and do whatever make you happy. ^_^

Ok...I'm now halfway thru this night job. Counting down the days...till May 16. I'm actually pretty happy about things right now. Anaheim almost done...End of June before the CSULA gig ends...but I may be able to pass some of that to my partner. I really want to get my life back. I've basically settled that I want to live in OC.

That position in El Segundo didn't come through and I'm actually kinda glad it didn't. I don't think I really want to fight thru that traffic every day again. I just interviewed at UCI...and things look promising. The only thing is it may not open till July...and I'll still have to go through a rigorous interview process. Then again...it is a government job...so security is really good. Pretty laid back...maybe too much...but I can see it as a definite opportunity. Also my homies Al, Bryan, and Jacob came thru for me and got me a possible opening at a networking company. I just have to drop a name, but I'd like to met that person first...before referring to him. Its nice to know that when you are nice and care about people...they do the same in return.

So know its a question of what to do? i'm gonna put my hat in for the UCI deal for sure...and planning on throwing my hat for the networking job too. I would just hate to leave the networking job if the UCI one comes thru. Either way its nice to know I have options...especially when I just found out another friend was recently laid off. =(

i do miss the fact that I'm missing apo events cuz of this night class. Right now missing UCI lil sib revealing. I hear they are a really good group of pledges...hopefully I'll get to meet them soon. Not hearing anything from the other chapters. Gonna try to visit them all again after this night job is done.

Still alive..just hanging on. I'm on week three of this morning and evening ordeal. Still surviving..but looking forward to when it will end. May 16...then the night class ends. I don't forsee myself teaching at Anaheim any longer after this or nights in general.

The interview I scheduled with UCI was moved to Monday next week. I was a bit upset when they cancelled the same day...but then again...what can I do. They seem to be running on their own schedule and not realizing how pressed for a new job I am. My opportunity with Infonet seems to have fallen through..but I wasn't too interested in trekking out to El Segundo anyways. i'll just keep sending those resumes out...and we'll see what happens.

Still busy weekends...but I'm clear for June 2 to go to Davis to see my sister make her State of the Chapter speech. I called my friend to find out if he would be available to cover...to find out that he had just recently been laid-off. Sucks to hear...but he was ok about it. Made me appreciate where I am a bit more. I wish he had told me earlier..so I could schedule him to cover me this Sun..since I'm heading down to SD this weekend to kick it with the Buca crew. You know..ever since that sectionals weekend...we've become really close friends. (fast-friends - APO reference..haha). So Sat will definately be fun. I'll see if I can get my friend to cover for this sunday too....but don't hold your breath.

Broken Hearts

I have lived my life…trying not to hurt anyone…and in turn did my best not to be hurt by anyone. It seems like an ideal situation…but highly unlikely. We all get hurt sometimes…and at times it can hurt a lot.

I was of the mentality that my first relationship would be my last, but that is not always possible. Sometimes we might actually get that lucky...but most of the time we aren’t that fortunate. The idea of meeting the girl of your dreams and not having to worry about anything else was how I imagined my future. To be a family man, there to provide support and stability. The Prince Charming with his white horse, there to sweep someone off her feet and take care of her forever. I guess that belief of support and stability has permeated all my relationships…romantic or friendly. The “rock” who people can turn to in times of need. The person there to ease your pain.

I guess that could be why I never really learned how to date. I meet great people all the time, but I have been very selective on who I show myself…or reveal too much. Especially when it came to romantic relationships, I was extremely careful and extremely selective (note: spark from previous post). Being a confidant to many people due to break-ups, I hated to think that I may do that to someone. So many times, I may notice or feel people may actually like me…but I pretend to ignore it unless I could reciprocate the feelings. Call me rude...maybe I am…but ignorance can be bliss at times. I would hate for someone to feel that I was just leading her on…if I didn’t have any serious intentions with her. Especially after seeing people shattered by relationships… I’d rather be thought of as stupid than a heart breaker. I guess that is also failing on my part as well, as it prevents me from really trying to get to know someone else.

But now I’ve come to believe that it could be good to have your heart broken. That sucks to hear…but many things happen with that understanding. There is no great pleasure without great pain. For anything to be of value it…there has to be a risk. If not, it just wouldn’t be worth the effort. In each attempt at relationships…you learn more about yourself, what you want in life…as well as what you never truly appreciated about someone else. I won’t lie…it can hurt…and it will hurt really badly. Just take and learn from it …be thankful you have family/friends (mantha, buca, countless others) there for you no matter what. Just remember in the end…that even thru all the pain it takes to get there…love is worth it.
-excelsior-

you know…it always has to come back to relationships. I'd have to say when you think about the important things in life...personal relationships has to be really high up there. Whether it be family or romantic...in order for us to survive with any sort of sanity...we must have human contact.

My romantic escapades pretty much stopped after my break up. Sadly that happened back in '97. It had always been really hard to put myself out there for anyone. I have always been a continuous support to all my friends...but I never really opened up my heart to anyone else. I didn't feel alone. I had my friends around me...but just not that "special someone".

I can't really describe who or when this "person" will enter my life. Sadly I'm a die-hard romantic…caught up in the movie version of finding that someone...and just knowing then and there...that this was the one. I can't believe that after watching all those movies and listening to all those love songs...that there isn't someone out there just to make my heart melt. She has to possess that certain something that certain spark. Remember Jerry Maguire and the kwan. It wasn't about the money...it was something more than that..."It was Rod Tidwell talking about "the Kwan"-his own personal coinage for the combination of love, respect, and money. " Well...the spark is something like that to me. It isn't just about physical beauty, or society's view of it. It has to be all encompassing. The beauty inside. Compassionate, warm, caring...understanding, sympathetic...the type of girl to cry at movies and maybe even some commercials. Creative, intelligent, and willing to stand her ground. somebody. Someone willing to laugh at herself. Someone looking forward to a family. I had always foreseen myself having a family life like the Cosby Show or Home Improvement. Parents that actually interacted with their kids and all in a fun atmosphere. Those are the important things in life. Family and friends…not money or possessions. Am I asking too much?…maybe…but I think I deserve to be.

Well...I've been living in my protected shell for quite some time now. Had particular interest in some girls...those showing potential sparks...but never really followed through or pursued them. I have to give a lot of props to Steve for getting out there into the dating scene and taking chances. I haven't gained enough courage to put my heart out there. Right now…we’ll just have to see what happens.

Oh yeah...if this post wasn't long enough...here's my results of that quiz. They are pretty dead on.

Your view on yourself
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girl/boyfriend you are looking for.
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship.
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love.
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you.
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important; find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success?
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Do not give up when you have not even started yet! Be courageous!

What are you most afraid of?
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self?
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart, rather than your head, needs to solve.

Oh man..I am soo tired. =(. Teaching in Anaheim is ok...students are cool... But I don't think I can do this double shift stuff anymore. I'm done with the material..and I have to sit here and just stare blankly..trying to keep busy. I am actually thinking of taking 6 weeks off of work..to get things together..take a couple classes in java and XML.

I also had an interview today with Infonet. It went ok..but I'm not really counting on it. Funked up on the OSI layer question..and I'm claiming to be a network engineer. Hey I understand it all...but I don't remember all the names. Argg... we'll see next week.

I did get a call today from UCI also. I'll call them back tomorrow to figure out what opportunities they have available. Trying to get ahold of my friend Drew about another opportunity...but can't reach him.

Tired..just tired. -_-

ok...got the archives working...still need to focus on setting up that server. working day and nights sucks.
otherwise things are good. working on a couple posts to come up soon.

Stupid Blogspot..thought it ate the last blogs. Glad it all got through now.
BTW...got cingular now. So anyone that had my old number..its been changed. I'll call you.

Ok...I think that this past weekend deserved its own post. So we get started with Friday night. I get a call from Biggwould to come kick it before the UCI chartering ceremony. He just got his tat (nice one) and was chiln with Grace and John from Rho Pi. I head on over to pick them up and we roll down to Buca Di Beppo. Now if you've never been there before...its definitely an experience. For the 4 of us...a regular serving of Spaghetti and Meatball (according to John - not the size of a softball as described) and Spumoni Ice Cream was enough. Of course the unknown girl that hid under the table next to us made for interesting entertainment...but we still don't really understand what she was doing. Otherwise it was cool just chiln.

We headed out to the hotel (hums the theme to Back to the Hotel - N2Deep)...nah...really to go to the Chartering ceremony. A lil drama going on…but thatz typical APO. My a$$ got the look of death when I clapped at a part when everyone was told not to. Otherwise it was all good. I am really proud of their achievements. So after that…the Buca crew and I were feeling kinda "thirsty"..so we made a run to TGI Fridays. We hit up the Bar and that is where we inducted Emperor John. It was 12:20 so we figured we get started right. Drinks and shots... whatever we could get on the table. I think it was the Shoot the Root when John rose to his emperor status. Everything was cool...Iota Phi came in... My brother wanted to take a shot with me (You still owe me...I may have been buzzed...but I know I didn't take one with you...or did I)..so things were chill..till they cut us off at 1:00am. SUCKS. Well...2 Toyko Tea, shot of goldschlaugher and a shoot the root in about 15 min got me pretty "relaxed". John was another story (haha...). after getting cut off...we proceeded to order some appetizers and chill with everyone.

Woke up on Saturday and went to the conference. Most of the night was spent making gifts for the chartering members. Special thanks to Grace for making/saving that Scooter cup ^_^. The conference was cool. I had a workshop on resume writing. I think it went off well...didn't really have anything prepared. Then again they did put me first thing in the morning. Chilled at throughout the conference. Eventually decided to go off and make a run to South Coast mall so Leah and Cheesy could do some shopping. Prepped for the night…and headed out to banquet. Banquet was cool. The only thing was throughout the evening...I had this sense of nervousness. I usually am pretty comfortable in front of people…and making speeches…but I was working on lack of sleep. But it wasn't just that. I was walking around all nervous…realizing that I was making the keynote speech. So I was formulating all the thoughts in my head...thinking about what I would say and stuff.. and then I got emotional. A lil too emotional. Called out my sis...(thanks mantha)..and just was overwhelmed. It wasn't sadness now...nothing like that. I wasn't nervousness either. It was like a parent would feel when their kids grow up. Sure I knew I'd see them the next day...but still...it was all over. Eyes red…puffy. No good. So after I composed myself a bit...I walked in and got ready. Anita started giving out awards to the sponsor...and I looked at Biggwould and said...I hope I wouldn’t bust into tears up there. Hey I’m human…its just not very manly ^_^. I am really happy with the Rho Rho chapter and really appreciate the gifts that they gave. Not even about the gifts (which I will always cherish)...I was happier that we were all together and got our charter. We proceeded through the night…and had fun the rest of the evening. There were a couple times when I needed to take a walk…but I'm saving that for the next post. (damn...I write like frickn novels.) Overall...it was a fun weekend.