yeah..long weekend...and much planned...well..things we could go to at least. Tonite Bren and I just kicked it watching Asian movies. Much better than most American cinema. AX BBQ Sat, Andre's BBQ on Sunday, who know what...but MON is off. =)

Shoulder still killing me...but least i'll see a doctor on Tues. Missing family and the dog....prob gonna see them this weekend. Had a good talk with a friend today...bringing in new perpective to things. Only thing is taking action. I'll just enjoy the moment..and see what it brings.

Hummm...stream of consciousness writing....cuz i'm really too tired to edit.

So it begins...sitting here...watching Chappelle show. Funny shit...really. Just came back from dinner...that was cool too. Not sure what i'm doing anymore.....reading a book. "Tuesdays with Morrie". Easy read...favorite part had to be "once you learn how to die...you learn how to live"...

Such the truism....living life to the moment....still bothered by something that happend earlier this week...it bugs... I know I'm in a good space...content...not exactly satisfied...and not exactly yearning either. Not looking forward to be complacent....looking for the future challenges...

I got this house once i put my mind to do it...i know i can acheive my goals...now i just need to set myself with one.....seems like lists work well for me.....ways i can identify..and simply cross things off as i acheive them...

Now to just make the list.

Yeah!! After another hour with the cable company...but this time it all works. Lil by lil, the house is starting to come together. (no i need to call about the garbage disposal).

Another family dinner at my house...and it went cool. Had fun playing Cranium.

Got really organized at work..so now...work work work. Couldn't even get off the phone with someone in NZ...to start the game with my cousins. Anyways..got an early morning phone call...so gonna pass out. Nite.

arrrg.
An hour and more with the Cable company...then with linksys. I was hoping the cable-modem/wireless router would pick up real easy. Not...so now i'll have to exchange it to see if it really was the device that was the problem.
Anyways...i'll try to compose myself to get something written for my audience..and my muse. So...about this weekend...=p
As i said...Friday was cool. Got to go to a friends wedding. Unfortunately i wasn't really invited to it...and that hurt...but i guess i can understand. There was a limited number of people that they could invite. In retrospect..i think it would have been nice to at least hear about it...cuz i would gladly accept the lack of space reasoning. Anyways...i got invited as Rico's guest..so i was still able to attend. This person is a friend from UCR...so i did get to catch up with some old friends from there. The odd part of the nite was keeping up with Rico. We got to meet this newly engaged couple from the PI. In our drunken stupor, we were talking about girls in the US...and assumptions about those in the PI. It was pretty funny mostly..but some truisms. That nite ended off with my leaving my email with the lady to pass around to her friends. *hey...no reason not to try...*

Saturday was the House Themeing party...and it went better than i expected. Didn't really know what to expect...and things came together last minute. I've just been really fortunate to have good family and friends. Thanks to all my cousins for handling kitchen duty, Mark for being the BBQ-King, everyone that brought something (food, gifts)...and for everyone that just came out for the day.

Although i found myself giving tours most of the day..i was kinda disappointed i didn't get to sit and talk with everyone much. (reason for the next get together =p). It was a bit scary seeing all my different circles of friends in one space. There was a coworkers circle, UCR-FV friends area, family, neighbors, and just about everyone. Fortunately i try to hang with nice peeps..so most people got along. Personally..i'm just glad its all over..so i can relax now. I got a lot of cool ideas..so plan on future home improvement "parties".

Sunday...went to Ikea to check out designs. It was cool...giving me a bunch of different ideas for the rooms. Afterwards...watched the game. Sorry guys...i tried...thought i could somehow become a laker fan...but...nope...*shakes head*...just couldn't do it. I'm still knot sure if i have NBA team i'd like to follow. Still a sixers fan..cuz of iverson and snow. Not sure if iverson is staying anymore..so that doesn't help. Used to be a kings fan...namely cuz they were cool last year...and a challenge for the lakers...but i don't see that either. I remember the days of Knicks...with Spreewell, Houston, Camby, Starks...thats the hard part about following something. People changing...esp when you're following the people.
Anyways...i should have been working this hour that I posted...oh well...more to talk about later.

Got to hang out with Rico and catch up with friends at a wedding today. Lot to talk..and think about...but u'll have to wait. =p

Need to get some rest before tomorrow/today's BBQ. Hope it goes well..since its nothing really planned....but reallu..supposed to be just a kick back. Oh well..we'll see how it goes.

Yeah!...
Missed work today...though u could hardly tell. Had to stay home to get things taken care of.

1. Refrigerator guy - Came and fixed the ice maker. Yeah!
2. Gardener - Mowed the lawn for this month. Looks really good for Sat.

3. The best thing today. YEAH!!! Cable guy (not jim carrey) came and installed the Cable internet. A whopping 2.7MB/sec of pure interent speed...that cooly could also be used as basic cable reception.

Plus Mark came over and we ate at Shakas (damn cute girls)...and shopping at Costco. Yes everyone..there is like NOTHING in the house. Trying to get all the supplies soon..like knifes, plates, silverware and stuff...but after this weekend...probably.

Well...chiln with Rico tomorrow..then Sat... Its turning out to be a good weekend so far.(mine started today)

Humm...work mostly done. Wedding on Fri...House Theme-ing this weekend...PMX in a week...and now AX getting on my case.

Sometimes it is just nice to go home and sit...do nothing.( Its also nice not having a TV at home..though that will change tonite).

Anyways..the house is starting to feel more like a home. Sad that Mantha left for Norcal today...but guess that added to the reservations about leaving Cerritos.

Tomorrow the landscaper, cable guy, and refrigerator guy come in to do their respective work on the house...so slowly getting situated to the new place.

Funny thing...i've realized that every room i've lived in has always been make-shift. With the exception of the dorms and apartment during college...i've found myself living in a "converted" room.

My latter years of college i was in a converted living room. No windows and one big sliding glass door for an entrance. My roommates and I actually built a free-standing door (called it the hollywood backlot door) to the room.

When i moved back home...I moved into the bonus room built over the garage. Four windows, no door..and a pool table in the middle of the room. Again no closets so i had a free standing hanger-thingie.

So...now...i have a whole house to myself. Two open rooms for possible roommates...and i've taken the biggest converted room. Then i started realizing....no door...a sorta closet...and 1 sliding glass door for outside access. Well..least this room has 2 fans, a window, and a fireplace. Now i have to install a door.=p



also..starting to feel more.."home-owner-y". Besides just watering the lawn...my first act as a home owner was replacing some copper pipe that runs water to the refridgerator. It was really nice actually...just my uncle helping me out..and me doing some actual.."manly" work. I know this house will be a constant learning experience for me...and for the most part...fun.



and now that i have a muse*...i'm planning on getting back to daily posts. Just need to work on more thought provoking things...besides my life =p.



muse -A guiding spirit, a source of inspiration

Its been some time....but yes..i've been busy. Not just work..but getthing things moved into the house. Hopefully will have more time to write later...but i did want to let you know that I am still alive.

Happy Birthday to me...Happy Birthday to me....=)


Thanks to everyone for your birthday wishes and such. Thanks to mantha as well for planning dinner.

To my family...

If your ready to forgive....I'm ready to move on. I'm sorry for things i've done in the past...and how they may have hurt you. Hurting people is never my intension...but i know it happens...and for that I'm truly sorry.

Weird. So...as u can see...haven't posted much lately. Verizon has had Sasser problems...so internet at home has been really bad. Work also busy...as i'm trying to organize things...plus slowly starting to move into the new house.

and now...Blogger has changed completely. Wow...too much.

Anyways...i've made the time to post now...so better use it wisely. This past weekend was fairly interesting. Went to Utah to surprise grammy on her 75th Bday. It was really good to see her again...and she was really happy to see everyone there as well. Got to see my dad's side of the family. I'd have to say...of all of them, still closest to the Mitchells in Washington. As my brother said, probably cuz they are disney fanatics like us. (speaking of which..i should go use my pass again). Trying to reconnect...but my dad's side will be harder since they are so spread out...plus i'm still working on the local ones first.

Funny...making it sound like "work" to just talk to your family. Actually, not so funny...but just being realistic. As i said before, family to me is not simply defined by blood...but those that i really hold close to me. I've seen members of my extended family just do things...that u wouldn't do to your enemies...let alone friends or family. In the end...realistically...i realize we're all human...and to be human is to be flawed.

Driving in the car this morning...i know my bday is coming up this friday...and i really don't have anything planned. I started remembering how as a kid, i was always envious of the "popular" person in school..the ones who knew everyone (i think a lot of people shared that feeling). I had my small set of friends which was cool...but u know...to be that other guy...its a common human desire.

Fast forward to present day...where i know people pretty much wherever i go(kinda bold, but mostly true). Disneyland, Magic Mountain, clubs, schools...wherever. Sounds like i should be happy...but...i'm not. Its never been about quantity of people. Don't get me wrong..its nice knowing people...just cuz i like meeting people.. but i don't have much depth with them. There are very few that i do.

So..as i sit there in the car..thinking about friday...i think thru a couple of people i think to be close friends...but even then..i come to think of my family as my core group. The small group of family that i'm starting to reconnect with on tuesday nites... they are the starting point. Slowly and sure enough...i'll get back everyone. I'm here to start things again...when they are ready.

Spent my last day in westwood today. Kinda sad...well..not the traffic i had to go thru...but just missing things. Did my authentic Westwood moment by having a Diddy Reese ice cream cookie and visiting local stores...but after that jumped back into traffic.

After work...decided to head to Costco and Home Depot. Feeling really domestic..and got excited with some of the stuff i saw.

Heading out this weekend to visit grammy. It will be nice to see her again.=)

La La La...
Life is just moving along.... Things going pretty well at work...just catching up on things...and now...getting things set for the house.
Feeling a lil paralyzed...about decorating it so far...so decided to have a theme party..where people can come to chill...and help decide how to decorate each room.
I'm for sure decided that the kitchen will be an Asian theme. Cool thing was we found that the dining table splits...so thinking of making it shabu shabu-hot pot style.
Had my first dinner at the house this past tuesday...with my family. Pizza and blackjack...then later hide and go seek in the dark. Brought back memories...and just enjoying the moment. Had to water the lawn..and start feeling more like a home owner. After this weekend..i can really start moving in...

This weekend was a lot of fun. Headed out to vegas for Auntie Luz's bday and houseblessing. Its a really nice place and she deserves it. Actually made most of the drive out there...even though i usually get really sleepy doing the vegas drive. Once we got there...basically just chilled with the family...eating and watching Ocean's 11. The real fun didnt' start till we hit the strip =p.

I had been hyping up this drink at Star Trek Encouter...that i always had good luck with. So all of us headed over there to experience the WARP CORE BREACH*. To my surprise, they also started a new drink called the BORG SPHERE - click for pics. Both served in fishbowls...requiring at least 2 people to order...due to the amount of alcohol in it. Call it geek if you want...that stuff can knock you out....but simply gave all of us a really good buzz.

After that, mantha and I decided to hit up the new Borg encounter...while the rest of the group hit the slots. The shows were ok...but I still liked the original ride better. Once mantha and i finished, we found our cousins...and learned they had been doing pretty well at the craps table. Everyone was leaving with some extra cash. To top it off, my aunt was doing ok at the Jackpot Party slot machine....that we all helped contribute to her success. The bonus feature of the game is that if you hit 3 party horns on the screen, you get a bonus area, where you pick from a group of "presents" revealing total credits to be added to your total. At the end of it, she scored over 2000 + nickles...and all of us cousins picked some pretty high numbers. After that, we headed back to my aunt's house...then eventually home. Pretty good for one day. =p

On Sunday, i met the family of the home i just bought and picked up the keys. Its really official now. I never really wanted to say much till i had the keys in hand...but now that is done. Great people...and and even better house. Still don't know how i'm gonna do it all...decorating and stuff. Fortunately was kicking it with Rico...and he started giving me some ideas. Personally, I'm thinking of theming each room...with a different subject. Right now its Asian in the kitchen...european in the living room....somewhere i want a hawaiian room. FOr now though..just need to figure out how i'm gonna move in.

Any suggestions on themes?







*Menu description for the WARP CORE BREACH
The bar offers drinks such as the Warp Core Breach, which is described on the menu as such: "Red Alert! Order this drink and prepare to separate your saucer section! Sensors indicate Bacardi Lemon, Bacardi Light, Bacardi Spice, Bacardi 151, Razzmatazz and SoBe power drink. We add pure ice crystals from the planet Exo III. You'll need more than one officer to handle this situation."

The normal day to day..has reached a level of boredom...of which is pointless to share. Thursday was cool...got to eat Sushi again...that was fun. Watched Godsend...stupid.

Today- got the call...its been recorded. The house is mine..yeah!! Going to Vegas this weekend for Auntie Luz's bday and housewarming...but will be back to pick up the keys on sunday. More to come later....I'm thinking of a bounce house for the house warming =)

The stress you feel...is only dependant on what you make of it.....

Today was more or less a good day...too bad it ended on a fucked up note. Since i'd rather not write back a nasty email to this person...instead i find myself venting a bit here. The exact details aren't necessary..as it pertains to something that should be a carefree past-time to me...that other people take too seriously. I only get pissed when people start thinking they can overstep bounds and do what my responsibilities are..... Grrr.....again...venting....

but just like that first line...i'm just gonna let it go (not without a response...i'll get to that)...but least i won't be writing back a response angry. Instead...i'm gonna come up with a fully thought out, logical response..and see where it goes from there. Ahh..ok...feeling better now.

As far as the majority of the day...it was great. I was a bit stressed as i drove into work today...as i remembered that my home loan is dependant on passing a "first time home buyer" interview. The unfortunate thing about it ...is that i stress easily on tests...and found myself cramming for it...as i was driving to work. Add to that, i actually had to take the phone call while i was in transit. Talk about a lot to think about......

but in the end...it turned all for the best. I passed the interview....and looks like everything is getting ready for funding. Its actually going earlier than planned. It may close as early as Friday...which means i could move in as soon as this weekend. Good times ahead...good times. =)

Back to work...
Sad to say..i think i need work really...to keep me to a schedule. this past weekend i had friday and monday off...but i didn't do anything but sleep. (well..it was like 100+ degrees...hella hot...dont' really want to do anything at that time.) Anyways...while sitting at Soaring over California on Monday...i decided I wanted to make a list of things i want to do. Once i put it together, I'll see who wants to hang out with me. (Stuff like hang-gliding, horseback riding, river rafting, trip to Europe). I've learned that once i make a list of things to do...i tend to get things accomplished better. So...expect the list and an update to this site soon.

on that note...i'd also like to welcome a group of new users to the blogging fold (ann, martin, ed). Once i do my site update, i'll add you guys as well (humm..whenever that gets done).

BTW..one of the first things on this list of things...will be to find a party that includes this. I've never big on girl on girl action..but the fact that this is between hella fine asian girls...i'd have to say...i'm entranced. Thanks to Mick for the material =p...and as i told you before..Jem is contagious.

hi....
i haven't talked to you in a long time....really...its been a while.
i've been spending sometime..thinking about the past...wondering what to do now in the present...and now what i'm looking for in the future.
I remember the times we spent together...the fun events...the awkward momements...the times of just silence.
To you the past....i'm..just gonna leave it there...... if something was truly meant to be...it will come again. I'll give it a shot...but i'm not gonna waste anymore time on it.
To you...the present....we're just gonna enjoy it now... Live the moment.
To you...the future....i got some plans for u. Looking forward to spending time with you. =p

Today i finally finished working on the school network. Picked up a lot of network learning in the process...and also come to realize that i do work too much =p. Rest of th eafternoon was spent chilln with Rico...watching the lakers and later the fight...it was nice to just sit back and chill. Started thinking about the house...and probably putting up a hammock on that area next to the garage. Also had to think about what i'm gonna do with Cube. He's pretty accustomated to the house already...but not sure if i want to leave him here. Guess i'll see what happens...

Escrow may close early....=)

Didn't do much today....mostly caught up on TV programming for the past two weeks....=p
Hung out with Mark B and Ed C for dinner...it was nice...and chill...and mostly time spent in the car driving in Hollywood traffic.

my thought provoking moment for the day was when i called the owners of the house. I decided to buy their couch, dining set, and some other items...and called to confirm that i did want it (as they were having a garage sale that day). The lady called back...and we started talking. She told me how she was glad I was the one buying the house...and all the memories stored there. Her parents had bought the house new when it was built in 1951. She remembered growing up in it...and how her father took the utmost care for it. (at this point...she was in tears). I thanked her for sharing and assured her that I would do the same.

Kinda made me think...about the things we do...and the things we leave behind...and what they mean to other people...

Actually got to sleep in today. Spent the day hanging out with Mark....pretty chill afternoon. Finished off everything i needed to do as far as the house, by signing the escrow and loan papers. Man...soo much money....

Ended the evening hanging with the APO mini-Reunion in Monterey Park. It was really nice seeing old faces again and catching up with people. Hung out in Monterey Park/Alhambra area....and found some cool places to chill

had to take out the down payment on the house today. Seeing most of your savings written out in one piece of paper can be rather alarming. May 5 is coming closer....excitement...and nervousness.

Well...least work has settled down..and getting better organized. I'm actually taking 2 days off of work...so chilln this weekend to clean up around here. Also hitting Disneyland on Mon. May write more later...

Things almost done at work...as well as almost done for the house. Now i need to do some stupid interview on buying a home. Looking to finish that real soon.

The move is just about over...with residual problems here and there. Boss is leaving to go back to Boston tomorrow...so live goes back to almost normal. Probably write more when i get the chance.

the craziness at work continues. once it settles...i'll write more. Also had a pretty good nite last nite with the ADT reunion....more on that as well.

Mostly done....

Today went ok...I kept finding things that i needed to follow up on. Unfortunately it was my boss that found it..which made me even more embarrassed. For the most part...things went very well for the move. It took most of the nite, but we got all the servers all set up and running. Still have to head back tomorrow to set up all the workstations and such.

Got to meet my assistant manager today. The meeting was pretty cool. I guess since my IT superiors pretty much leave me alone to manage the office...i've been very self-sufficient. Therefore visits from my bosses makes me a bit uneasy. The nice thing about it though is i work with really cool people.

spent most of the day packing...cuz this will be the weekend of the move. Why does everything have to happen now. (reason why i'm awake right now...is i'm missing the Kill Bill 2 premiere that my cousins are at due to this move...as well as the close call movie premiere). So...its the ADT reunion. I am looking forward to seeing some old school peeps there...especially those from my time there. I truly wished that this event would be spectacular =p, and still do...but i'm not feeling it right now. I guess i am hoping for a lot. I don't doubt that the chapter has put a lot of effort into it...but i can only wish there was more for me to look forward to. Shit....i'm giving up Laker Playoff Tickets to go....*shakes head*

There was a time in my life when APO took it over...i never said it did...and i truly don't believe that....but the fact of the matter is that it is true. I believe in the principles..and rather just talk about it....i live it......or more like...vice versa. I can't get away from APO...since the principles reflect me. I remember passing up events that i really wanted to go to...just cuz i felt i "needed" to go to banquets, conferences, etc. Those events were always fun since i got to see people again...but many a times...it was banquet over family, friends and/or other things.
The one thing I have learned though, is not to get overwhelmed again. Since giving up the section chair responsibility, i've been able to be more at ease and recollect the other aspects of my life. I concentrate more at work (mainly cuz of this move) and am reconnecting with my family and other friends. I still plan on being out to various events and such...but now more because i want to...as opposed to feeling like i have to.

eh..i was gonna cheat....and back-date blog...but oh well...I didn't really miss it...just didn't have enough energy to post.
Tues was ok...busy at work...but it ended being a really long nite. I thank Bren for coming out and helping me with my networking project. We were up all nite finishing off that network...but at least his help gave me the opportunity to sleep on wed.
Wed....after getting in at 2am...i had to be awake and moving by 7am. Got thru my meeting in pasadena and spent most of the day getting things ready for the move this weekend. Soo crazy. Signed more paperwork for the house..and walked thru it again. I sooo love it. Changed from cingular to T-mobile..and now got the phone workign. Still need to transfer all my numbers over.
Unfortunately..got stuck at Pasadena till 5. I really wanted to go to UCLA today for the meeting...being it would likely be my last time....but alas...didn't make it.
Instead...i ended up heading home...and honestly...passing out for the next few hours.

well...tomorrow is another day...and my other boss will be heading down....so ....lock down again. Can't wait for this weekend to be done.

at work for about 11 hours...damn tired. Hopefully this will all end soon (after this weekend). Damn...i need a vacation.

Happy Easter...
Today was good...got to catch up with family...and get in some good basketball games. It was actually pretty nice seeing everyone again. As much as some people have changed...many still stay the same. Anyways..kinda tired. Had somewhat of a reprive from the school job. Seems i have to re-add all the machines to the domain. Ugg...
Plus..this is the week of the move...so things are coming to a hilt. Damn..i need a vacation.

@#*@&#*&
spent most of today...installing...reinstalling...installing....arrggg....like over 8 times...
When i finish this...gonna make a Clone of the HDD and hope to not have to do this again...
funny thing...not even tired...plus even got a work related phone call.

Today was cool...not as stressful. I've gotten a bunch of the packing done...and very pleased. Relatively quiet around here...but still good.

Saw Girl Next Door. I love it....and guess what ...Sung Hi Lee is in it too. But sorry...told u I'm a sucker for girlie movies....and this....Romance and Porn....how could you go wrong??? =p

Its a sleeper hit in my books...ranks right up there with The New Guy...movies that may not do well..but still a feel good movie.

And today was supposed to be a day off....

well..it started out ok...this was the day
1. Got the car to the shop
2. Got my dental cleaning
3. Car still not ready, Full of novicane...went home.
4. Got Hair cut. Got an ouchie
5. Back to the Car...need more parts...gonna cost big bucks.
6. Problems at work...they keep calling
7. Problems at Elementary school.
8. Picked up Server...The Hard Drive failed...and nope..not the data lost...instead the whole user database. FUCK
9. Ran errand at Lowes...got power tools. Got the bit set with the free T-shirt. Shows home much i know about tools (ask my sis...she knows more =p)
10.Gonna have to rebuild the server...gonna take all nite.
11. Got the move to Pasadena next weekend...still not ready.
12. My boss coming thursday this week...once that happens..i'm pretty much gone from AIM while he's here.
13. My room is still a mess....but thinking about rooms in the new house =)

May 5 people...thats the Day.. Cinco De Mayo.
Bday and Housewarming likely...
wonder if i should register for gifts =p....i'll need a blender and some stuff...

Memory Lane...
Stopped by my aunts house today... Sitting in the rooms of the Monterey Park house and remembering how big the rooms used to be...and how small they look now.

Too tired to really think about a post. Had a good time tonite with the cousins playing "Scene It" after dinner. I love my family...and getting back in touch with them has been great. Things that i thought of as "childish" or "below me" (board games)...turned out to be a lot of fun...mainly because of the company =). I'm actually pretty happy...starting to shed the "societal image" conscious ray...and just going with....me...and how i see myself

ahh...back to normal. Work today was cool and relaxed. Still busy..but got a lot of stuff done. Pressures building at the office...as the move date moves closer. Trying to catch up on things at work as well as home. Looking forward to the day when it will only take minutes to get back and forth from work. Wow..what to do with the time after that.

Went to Memorial* service with Drew...followed by dinner and conversation. It was really cool. Got me thinking about religion and stuff....something that i will compose one day..

*Memorial is the one "holiday" that Jehovah's witnesses celebrate. (yes..they don't celebrate christmas, easter, or even their own bdays). Its a memorial of the Last supper and Jesus' passing....and it follows the lunar/Jewish calendar

grr...today started as a bad day..(note the started)..
got up after some much needed sleep...but the rest of the day seemed to just go wrong. I was supposed to do a lot of things...but didn't end up getting it done...
anyways...while i was lost..trying to get to speedzone today to meet my friends...i was at a peak....couldn't believe how bad the day was (as i was driving thru the rain)...then it happened..

I got the call from the realtor....he said the family had accepted my offer on the house. =)
Escrow opens on Monday...so its just a matter of time now.
Yeah!

sooo tired last nite..Actually fell asleep in a movie and missed out on hanging with diana and company.
Today i actually signed and made an offer on the house. We'll see what will happen now. It was weird...driving to the realtor (who lives on the same street), actually started feeling like i was driving home. Anyways...got to get some time to write..cuz right now...i have too many other things to take care of.

Late nite last nite....so...too tired to blog. A lot to think about..and a lot going on...

Spent most of the day at the site. Rather nice just hanging with the boss. Overall a good day. Best part of it was my conversation with the realtor. This house buying could become a reality soon. Actually talked to my mom...so i guess thats a step forward..

Expecting to be busy till the end of the week....but hopefully the weekend will save me.

Boss is in town..and work is even crazier. Man..when will it ever stop.

also..the prospect of the house is getting closer..just need to talk to some peeps..see if I can do this. More to come later.

Busy day today...and hung out with Rico...as he's leaving for France on Wed. Man...boss coming in tomorrow...so need to get stuff together. Well..time to crash..more to talk about later..when i get the time.


Before i go though...just take a moment to appreciate what you have...


and a moment of silence for Ken Tsang (RIP) and the brothers of Rho Pi dealing with his passing. Its sad that it takes moments like this that truly make me understand what it is to be a brother of APO...and how the lost of someone...who i may not really know...can affect me. No one has the answers...and there definately is no reason why....but we just need to appreciate what we have..while we have it.

actually made it out to the courts today. Felt a lil odd...and out of place...but eventually got my groove. Definitely need to work on my game. Sat through a boring ass meeting for AX...wonder why i even do it. Soo inefficient. The rest of the evening consisted of shabu shabu, coldstone's ice cream...and staring at each other in the hallway of my house.

Got to check out the house in MP today. It is beautiful. Couldnt believe how good it looked on the inside of the house...this especially since i was already amazed at the outside of the house. Prior to that I had a good talk with my realtor about loans...and the direction i wanted to take...so this could work out for the best.

Later that nite i got to catch up with some friends from UCLA. We saw each other at Dave and Linnea's housewarming. It too was a beautiful house...with different motifs in each area of the house. Most of the nite though was spent seeing how people have been spending their time since graduation. I'd have to say that is one of the nicest things i've seen..from the UCLA group when i first got to know them as their section rep. They are very close knit and keep in touch with each other as best they can. I guess in that whole "searching for where you fit in" paradox.

i'll make this one brief....as i've got an early morning tomorrow. Work at the site was crazy...but i did have a good converstation with someone over lunch. Sat in 2 hours of traffic...(soo messed up)...but the good thing is I've been getting a lot of Loan stuff together. I'll be meeting with my realtor as we look through the paperwork..and maybe even check out the house. Crossing my fingers...

Stressful day...
not planning on heading into the office tomorrow...so had to get a bunch of things done. Add to that, my sister coming back today as well (Yeah!). Anyways...there was a lot of shit to do...and a small timeframe to do it. Fortunately..i think i got most of it handled. I'll be at the new office tomorrow doing some work..but plan on taking it easy afterwards.

Missed out on a party i wanted to go to today. If your reading...Happy Bday Glo and Francis. I was honestly looking forward to it...but there will be other times. =)

Seeing what you want and going after it
Wow...quite a heated nite...
Anxiety and Anger levels at an all time high tonite. Part of it for stupid reason...
Shopping. I frequently peruse online shopping sites looking for deals. So I was checking out this deal at footaction.com and saw these cool shoes for $24. I had it in my shopping cart...and was actually shopping for more (tends to happen to me once i find something i like). Things were going cool..till i'm ready to check out (course i had to ask friends what they thought)...but as i go to the cart...BAM.."your cart has been automatically updated to reflect out of stock items"....you need not guess which one of the shoes disappeared. ARRG...its almost as bad as someone stealing it from you...right in front of your face. Soo angry....so i decided to not pick up any of it.

Example 2...so i hear about this T-mobile deal on amazon...where they will actually give you back $80 to pick up the Sony T610 phone. WOW...since i'm planning on changing anyways. Its not the fone that i want...but its a cool phone. Anyways...so I'm checking it out...seeing that it has the $39.99 plan of 1000 minutes. I'm trudging along..thinking of the purchase...thinking if i should keep my number...again..asking people....then..BAM.. "the plan i want is unavailable." (honestly..i think it was server overload). ARRRGGGGG again. Screwed again. Shaking my head... i was still at work....had to get out of there. Figured i'd check again later...but still pissed.
Anyways...i go home....jump online..and just check things out. Talking to some friends....sorta got me angry. One person who i trust...seems to have fallen of the face of the earth to me...and just dropped out of sight. I've given this person a lot of leeway..when others haven't...but this is one thing that bothers me. Honestly..its a matter of Respect. It isn't given..its only earned...and this course of action causes me to question a lot of things. On the other hand...i had another conversation with a different friend...and we have a disagreement on an issue...but that more than fine. I understand that people can disagree with me...but the sad part of the conversation was when this person said they were starting to lose respect for me. I do what i can to earn other people's respect...so the thought of losing it saddens me. Unfortunately...i have to respect myself most of all and the decisions and views that i take.

Yeah..so it was a hot nite...lots of emotions...

then when i check that amazon website again...i see that i can still get that deal. But i havent.....(trying to see if a friend wants it as well..or if the phone is worth it)...Anyways...guess i don't know if its what i really want...so I'm not jumping on it. (maybe tomorrow =p)



Update: I got up in the middle of the nite and decided to get this. Phone seems cool..but the fact that they are giving me money...i just couldn't help myself. Guess it was decision time...and I made it.

House wise things are starting to move. Getting pre-approvals from different areas as I'm looking for the best deal for me. Today was the parentals anniversary. Had a lot to think about before i headed to dinner. Somethings change...most stay the same. I'll have to write more about this when i have time to think about it...but not now.

Felt pretty productive at work today. Since my lil self evaluation...i've become more proactive about stuff and definately more confident. I guess its more of a take no shit attitude. Anyways...got a lot done...well had to since i was killing time before my APO UCLA advisors meeting this nite.

The meeting was cool....more of a evaluation of the chapter and its direction. Lately haven't been feeling the APO spirit. At this meeting..i did feel a spark of it again. I loved seeing the people still wanted to be involved..and the sharing of ideas. Just wish more of the active membership felt the same zeal. Sadly its what i've been seeing in a lot of chapters lately (except SD - GO RHO PI =p). I looked thru the pics of Sec 4 conference and remembered what a APO SPIRIT re-charge I'd get after seeing all those people just into APO. Well...hopefully I'll get the fire back...but for now i got other things to think about.

ouch...sore all over. I think i have a crick in my neck =(. The trip to Mammoth was great. I don't know if I'll ever really get the hang of it...but it was just beautiful to be there. Spent most of my time on my ass, sitting on the side of the mountain. Actually..one of the Resort people even checked on me to see if i was ok. Well..time to get some rest and figure out how i'm gonna handle this week.

wow..quite an interesting nite. Its started out well....Alfred and I just grabbing some dinner before we headed towards vegas. It was fun just chiln with afred one on one for about.....an hour =(.

Yup..cruising up the 15...the car decides to die out. Transmission blew and i haven't heard from alf yet what the full story is. Instead we get to sit in the car...watching Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure till the tow truck comes along. We were still energetic to go...but by the time it all finished...we were tired out. Sucks...

Anyways..so that left me open to do something tonite. There was a impromptu gather planned that i had to cancel on...plus a call to go to the club...but i'd have to say the best one was a Rush trip to mammouth. Yeah! I had some much gear with the tags still on..it wasn't funny. Anyways..i'm packed up and heading out. See you all on Sunday.

Off to vegas.....More to come later.

ohh man...
I would have something good to write here...but i'm sooo full from all u can eat sushi. Damn u richard!!!
Anyways..may have some backward dated posts...since i'm going to vegas this weekend. aaahhhh food coma.
ok..me out.

ahh..St. Patricks day....its a good day.

Got up this morning..feeling pretty good. I knew Annette was doing her pub/bar crawl so i was fully expecting to meet up with her at Westwood Brewing Company after work (like last year). On the way to work..just started texting people to see who might be around to hang out and enjoy...well..just another day to drink and be merry.

Well...first responses i got were from neil, jackie and HT...so decided to crash a party with them at BJs Chicago Pizza and Bar. Tried the 7 sampler of all their beers....humm...didn't really like any of them. The Pitcher at Sepi's we had before was much better. I also got a call from Traci saying they'd be at Rocking Taco...so i thought about catching them later. I spent the better part of the evening...hanging at Bj's...and it was fun. Been too long since I've hung out with Neil and jackie... (HT was with me at hooters a few weeks before). I would have continued the drinking at WBC...but i thought I might try to meet up with the girls in fullerton. unfortunately..it wasn't till after i jumped on the freeway...that they called back to tell me they were calling it quits for an early nite. Sucks...but oh well..

All and all..definately a fun nite.

Just doing the day to day. The move to pasadena is getting closer..and i'm slowly getting things together. Starting to take a more proactive role in just about everything... At work, i was the one giving a new technician in Australia the orientation to our network. They trust/love me a lot...and i'm hoping they will eventually send me to AU/NZ soon.

St. Patty's day tomorrow..and i may just crash the APO meeting. Until then..i'm out.

Ahh...today was a great day. Not too eventful at work..though I did get my business done. looking forward to a busy week. Anyways...the best part of today (besides the family coming home) was heading to the laker game. Lakers versus Magic...and boy was it crazy. Most of the game, we thought the lakers were down and out....running at least 10+ points behind the magic till the 4th quarter. As with most basketball games, it didn't pick up till the last few minutes. Personally...i'm just a fan of basketball...and not too much for the lakers. But the best part of the nite was watching Rico go all crazy as the lakers made their come back. It was probably one of my better sporting nites...for a couple of reasons.

Also feeling more self assured about myself. Got to sport my new Iverson jersey...and felt pretty good about myself overall. Tried the "new" hairstyle at work...and just felt confident overall. Took that test on Match.com for physical attraction report..and it came out fairly accurate. Read it..and when u find that someone that fits that description...let me know. =p, Shit...even if she's someone close...i'm just down to meet people.

Match.com test results.

PS..the girl on the first pic...dead on. Not too sure about the breast reading..cuz it all looked the same to me...but too bad most asians just aren't very well endowed (ducks to avoid all the people looking to hit me now =p)

so..yeah. Skipped out on BBall this morning...even though I was thinking about it all nite. I thought to myself as i hit snooze for the second time...that if i went this week..i'd have to explain why i won't be there next week (cuz of vegas). Rather than have them expect me...i could just start going in 2 weeks..and try to keep it consistant. (guess this twisted logic is why i haven't been to the gym in a while either).=p

Anyways..it was a nice day today. I decided i wanted to chill by the pool in the nice warm weather. I even called up my cousins and aunt to come and chill for a BBQ. Tried to clean out as much of the old stuff in my mom's storage while i could. Unfortunately..they didn't come out till around 5pm...which killed whatever sun time i had. Oh well..next time...summers coming =).
Other than that...Family coming home tomorrow...and Laker Game with Rico as well. All and all a good week.

Cleaning out the closets today. Actually cleaned the house too...since the family is coming back on Monday. Can't wait till i'm cleaning up something i can call my own. Chilled in the afternoon...and hung out with Ed and Sharon for the most part. Overall a relaxing day. Got a great phone call from the girls (maureen and traci) on their nite out...its nice to be remembered =). Great way to end the evening. Now...may even wake up for basketball tomorrow.

Self - Analysis

So...again we come up with the eternal question...about relationships and love. I thank the many people around me that have shared their opinions and views on the topic...and with a lot of soul searching..this is what i've come up with....as far as my inability to be in a relationship. (wow..kinda odd when i write it like that)..

Well...lets start with that. Very ironic, being that throughout my life, i've always seen myself as the relationship type. My main goal in life has been to raise a family....thats why i wanted to get the good job, where i could have time for kids, etc. At times I honestly wished my parents had betroved me to someone early in life. I guess i thought I could make a relationship work with anyone. I also wasn't a big fan of the dating idea, mostly cuz was never too keen on the idea of meeting people...making ties...then breaking up (cuz of course..dating was the love 'em and leave them mentality - least when i thought about it). I mean..come on...how can you go out with someone for a date...and if u don't think u "jive", just not call them anymore. Why? cuz if you call them back..then they may think u want to pursue something. (ok..That could be a core problem in my mentality..but hey...its my psychosis...i'm analyzing here =p).

Anyways, I've been the strong shoulder many times for girls after their relationships had ended...so i never wanted to be the guy to do that to someone. Guess its naive to think that we could go through this world without getting hurt...but then again..remember i'm a disney kid =p. This is supported in my mentality of me being the prince here to save the princess...and of course..happily ever after. Is that really me... honestly... yeah. I'll admit I'm no saint...but i do what i can to make this place a better world. (guess reading all those life of saints growing up puts an impression on you).

So..where does that leave us now.. The stereotypical good guy (that one you root for in all the movies and such...that the audience recognizes..but the love interest never does - till the end that is). Thing is... this is no movie...and who's to know when the story will end (I've already heard the Nice guys finish last shit). I got all the supporting aspects taken care of (income, hopefully a home soon, stability)....funny how along the way i missed the part about finding someone. Well...that will be the subject of the future post...on dating.

I'm thankful for nice people.

Somehow...the family renting the home were able to find someplace that could possibly loan them the money to buy the house. It hasn't been finalized yet, but we'll just have to see what happens. I talked to the realtor to get that status and he felt really bad for me. With that in mind, he said he would talk to the other owners of the house we were also looking at. I guess we can only hope/pray.

Had a lot on my mind today..and i think i'll put it all together in a post for tomorrow.

As for today...missing my family...and finally finished Planet of the Apes...after trying to watch it all week. Ai ya...hoping for a restful weekend.

wow...it was no stop work today. Care of a error in my upgrade of a machine last nite, i was the subject of grilling at my work meeting today. Not a fun way to start the day. I'm just glad i have a cool team of people to work with. After that...i did a visit to the pasadena site and tried to get more accustomated to it. Unfortunately, not as much cute girl traffic as westwood =p ...but i guess we'll have to see how it works out.

After that...it was non stop work. Didn't even get to eat till 4pm...didn't get out of the office till 9. Hope tomorrow will be a better day.

Eh...today was just....eh...a day. Going through a bit of mixed emotions on things. Dinner was great catching up with old friends. Got to go Ragin Cajun again. Anyways..maybe i'll feel more like writing tomorrow.

Wow...there is a lot to learn about homebuying. I had a great talk with Milly on the way home just to give me an idea of what goes into the whole home buying process. Unfortunately, she confirmed some of my lack of confidence with the realtor I've been working with. Its almost like i'm starting all over again....well...at least I've learned a lot in the process. Man...and it was crazy hot today too.

Was happy to get that note from Mantha and Mila. I hope you guys are having a really good time. I know it can get all crazy with that cruise food.

This weekend was pretty chill...(even though it was pretty hot today)...

After taking care of errands and stuff on sat...i ended the nite at the club with some new friends. First time to century club and it was better than i expected (well..from what i heard about century club...guess i was expecting the worse). Its a proofpositive event...so i'm usually pretty down with their music. There were quite a lot of people..and a good ratio. I actually went with 2 girls so it prevented me from being a wall flower...and they made for a fun evening. Lot of bumping into guys and shit...and i swear i would have swung on this drunk whiteboy... but overall the nite was cool. Good conversation, new friends, and dancing...

i swear i was gonna try going to bball with richard this morning...but just couldn't get going. I really need to learn to manage my time and not sleep as much =p. Anyways...tired of TV...i decided to try to clean up my computer by buring off a bunch of asian movies. I just figured out how to get it to VCD format..so now i can actually just watch them on TV (watching on monitor is not too comfortable). Got a call from Alfred to head out to Vegas in a couple weeks..so looking forward to do that. Also got a call from Rico asking about the club...and i inquired about his book club meeting. Guess we're both venturing out in different ways. Anyways, ended up chilln over at his place for the afternoon and just watching movies and anime. Started watching this kung faux....funny shit. Also found myself grooving to Power 106's Old skool AquaNet mix on the way back home. It was really good...80s High energy and just fun music. So...found this so thinking of heading to check it out sometime...POWER 106 Old Skool. Funny...that will be right next to my house...if i get it (crossing fingers.)

kinda odd with no one here in the house. Spent most of the day cleaning up a bit and laundry. Guess this is what life may be like when i get my own place. Speaking of which...got some news on Fri. The current renting tenants of the house i want are going to possibly make a bid for the house. This was one of the obstacles that could have come up... We'll just have to see what happens. If not...i could think of a condo...or talk to my cousins.

Someday my prince(ss) will come...

Ahh..i can only wish i guess. Today i took the day off of work just to get things done...and just relax. Started out hella early dropping of the family at LAX for their Disney Cruise of the Caribbean. Then..of course...my mom can never leave the house without assigning things for someone else to do. Afterwards, i went back to sleep for a bit..then eventually woke up around noon.

Did some shopping...and decided to "update" the wardrobe. Going for a more "professional" look...and still deciding on what type of style is comfortable with me. Didn't do too bad...just bought hecka ties...even though i don't "need" them at work. We'll see if i actually decide to keep them or not. ALso got news about the house in MP. Can only pray now that it falls in my favor...but we'll just have to see.

Anyways..after shopping headed over to Disneyland. Caught the 4.45 showing of Snow White, even though I knew that Alfred and Brenda were gonna show up after work to try to catch the 6pm showing with me. Ended up watching it twice. Its all good though =). Disneyland does definitely make me happy...from watching all the families...and all the kids just enjoying. I guess its about the purity and innocence of it all. I mean...i know this is a tough world...and many times seriously fucked up (allow me to repeat the story alfred told me on the way home). Its no fun...but if people continue to dwell on it...it can make you feel like its not even be worth continuing. Call me naive....i really don't care...I like my world of fantasy, romance, and love. I tend to believe the best of people...till they prove me wrong. Honestly though, i'm sure the "special" person in my life will have to be a princess

Its funny though...the princess stories are always the same. Someone pure of heart, but mostly no one sees. She's slave to the wicked step-mother (cinderella/snow white), Cursed to hide herself from the world (sleeping beauty), Unable to be herself due to her position (little mermaid/aladdin/mulan)....its the plot of most romantic comedy as well.

Then...someone takes notice...and loves her for who she is on the inside..cuz he can see thru it all. He fights through challenges...and in the end comes out victorious. Ever wonder why you feel good after those romantic comedies...cuz you all know you want the same thing. That person who can see you for who you really are.....to know you and love you.

I've seen many people...people i've been interested in...really for the person i see inside. Its not always returned....but doesn't necessarily change how i feel. I guess I'm just wishing for the one to see me for who I am....and that i can love in return.

Well...today had to start dealing with a new reality. The original plan to have two offices (one in westwood and one in pasadena)..has now changed to one office...the new one in pasadena. I felt it may lead to that at first..which is why i'm looking for a home in that area....but walking around westwood today made me think about how much i'd miss it. Its nice being able to walk to food... to UCLA for APO/Anime meetings... catching movie premieres....the girls =p. SAKS, all the ice cream places you can think of, aahs....Washington Mutual....Denny's milkshakes. (yes...most of my time in westwood was buying lunch). OH MAN...no more walking to Best Buys every tuesday....sniff...sniff.

I guess i could try to be positive....Pasadena has old towne, Monterey Park has late nite diners, Boba will still be there....

Funny thing is this will probably be the first time I'm relatively far from any APO chapter. First it was working in Riverside near ADT. Then it was working in LAX near Chi. Then it was Irvine and help starting Rho Rho...to once again returing to Chi by working in Westwood. Each time i've made good friends and many memories. lately..just been out of the loop...and this move will possibly mark a significant end in participation. Well just have to see what will happen i guess.

Anyways...Family is leaving for cruise tomorrow...so i'll be waking up early tomorrow (taking the day off). First place to hit after airport ...Disneyland =)

Saw this on ernies blog....hella funny....werd.

Samantha's home! Yeah!

got some interesting news at work....took me by surprise. Then I also gots a some nice words from my friends in Asia Pacific. Never know what the future will bring.

Cold is almost over...thank goodness. Having issues with one of my realtors...feel bad about it...but really...i gotta do what is best for me. Can't be a "nice guy" all the time. I'm hoping things go well on wednesday since i've been puttin all my hopes into that one. Preparations for the new office are on way...so things just keep moving on. Still looking to use my time better...and hoping after this cold i can hit the gym again.

Grr...still hating the rain. How can they claim rain/flash floods...for one day...and be all clear and sunny the next??

well..even with the rain today..it turned out to be good. Feeling better...so on the downturn from my cold. Got stuff done at work...wasn't too bad. Had sushi with a friend and was able to catch up on old times. Also been listening to a cd janice gave me (thanks janice)...mix of slow songs...sad songs...and tagalog songs. Wow...listening to the tagalog songs made me really miss my Filipino culture. I used to be the biggest advocate of it...since i was mixed....it became something i could identify with. Thinking of becoming more involved in it again...as in with groups and such. Actually been more interested in asian culture as a whole. I tend to find myself watching more japanese or korean dramas (they are a lot better than american programming). Also more asian movies...like the one we watched on sat. ju-on.

Just got back from an Oscar party..and that was quite cool. Rico invited me out to hang with his coworker...but it wasn't his usual set of friends. This guy is a probation officer, married to a school teacher (subject of english). SO...basically..it was a more "literary" group. Rico definitely liked it cus it gave him a chance to explore other facets of his life. For me..i felt the same. I was able to pretty much handle my own..even though i haven't picked up a book in a while. (well..just finished joy luck club). It felt nice really...i think i needed it as well.

In high school, i had a fair mix of classes. AP courses..and basic ones. I never felt like i excelled per se...just did what i had to in order to make it by. Honestly..still don't feel like i've lived up to my true potential. Well...AP and Honors courses were pretty much rigid...but the basic courses were the ones I had the most fun in. It allowed me to just relax...and not worry about much. For example:

In an honors course, I had to show the aptitude and capability of one that can handle the rigors of college work. Through constant study and analysis, students such as myself were able to prove our mettle and conquer the challenges placed before us by our professors. It was through these academic works that i learned to better myself and effectively communicate my thought, wishes, and desires in an appropriate and efficient manner. On the other hand

when i was in the basic classes...i didn't' feel that i had to act a certain way or use certain words (vocabulary). It was chill...hanging with the homies and not giving a fuck about shit. With them..i just kicked back...shot the shit...and yeah...just didn't do anything. Classes weren't hard (drivers ed, music)...and teachers cared about as much i the students did. Honestly though...i did have some of my best times in those classes.

As you can see...vocabulary, demeanor, attitude...it changes..mostly to make those around me more comfortable. Tonite was wine and cheese as opposed to Jack and coke. Crackers as opposed to hot wings. All and all it was really good. More of a mental challenge.

So tonite...it was kinda nice just for that change of pace. May go and join the guys book club as well. As for now, it was my sis has turned me on to reading...so now its Rich Dad Poor Dad. Next will be Memoirs of a geisha. Think i'll sign off now and crack that book.

The picnic was great and brens curry was sooo good. I had to bring some home. =). Almost over this cold..i hope...still coughing and aching. Got home late...but yeah..just need to get my rest.

feeling a bit better today. Went home and got more rest again. Now..i just need to eat =). Looking forward to Bren's curry tomorrow...and seeing everyone. I wanted to take time and talk about the Passion movie..and what it has done to me. Unfortunately...i think i should just rest. Maybe soon.

Ugg...hate being sick. Its not full blown dying yet...but sore throat and cough...man. I'm glad i don't get sick to often..but as my sister can attest...once it happens...its like the world is ending (for me at least). Been popping cough drops and dayquil all day...and gonna get some rest tonite...so hopefully that will end it.

Looking forward to this weekend when i'm gonna kick it with the AX crew again. Its been too long since we last hung out. Unfortunately...we've been surrounded by our own lil dramas...but i guess that happens everywhere. Funny..AX was my release from all the dramas of APO...and now...drama just seems to find me. The fun part about it is that they truly are a family to me. I'm sitting here watching Janice's footage from last year and remembering the times...where we were just having fun. Think i just need to go back to that..and stop worrying about things.

The passion.....
Well....i saw it last nite. Guess its the topic of conversation for everyone lately. Overall, i will say that it provided for me a spiritual renewal. It was odd how everything was working that day. I've never denied my faith..in catholism and belief in Jesus. I have had problems with the institution of the church...and how things have been handled. This movie however helped me understand a lot more thought...and put my own life into perspective. Anyways...i'll have more to say...but last part of this busy week...is waking up at 5am tomorrow. Once thats done..i can breathe a lil..

Ps..rain sucks...stupid storm...and now i think i'm getting sick. Ugg

Catching up on things at work. Met with the guy about the house...and got really excited and hopeful about the opportunity. Now its just a waiting game to see what will happen next. But at least now I have the plans and layout of the house. Rather comfy looking..with definate growth opportunities. ANyways...this week is crazy...plus watching passion of the christ tonite.

This is definately gonna be a crazy week. Meetings, presentations, dinners....oh yeah..and the Passion of the Christ. Man...gotta lot of things to do...but the best part so far will be dinner with the family tomorrow. Before i go i'm gonna pick up some stuff from the possible realtor. I'll be really excited if this goes through...since i've been putting a lot of hope into it. Guess only time will tell.

Last nites post seemed kinda harsh...guess its the heat of the moment type writing. However u look at it..i still feel the same. Its always a lot easier to blame other things, people, etc for the problems you face...rather than take responsibility for it yourself. I'm not exactly sure what was going through my mind last nite...or what i though i wanted...or wanted to be. Last nite just be came a reality check for me ... yeah... a wake up call. I've always done things...thinking about others...sometimes more than myself. Far from being a saint...but i guess it was the way i was raised...looking out for cousins and family...always making sure the everyone it together... plans fit everyone.

Oh..i'm not saying thats gonna change...but the fuck everyone idea is not directed to anyone but me. I need to just take some time to focus more on myself....rather than all the other dynamics i choose to complicate my life. I yearn for a simplier life...and i think i found some glimpse of it. Funny..it was at disneyland. Everytime i go..its never for the rides...its just people watching. The best is watching all the families and lil kids walk by...just enjoying the innoscense of it all. I'm directing more towards my own core...my family. Watching over them and taking care of them. I also went to my dad's Knights of Columbus function tonite. It will probably be a later post when i can expand on how much he means to me....and how much he has taught me. He is one of my role models...

man..what i can i say. Tonite definately wasn't what i expected...but i guess thats life. Well..lets recap...we'll start with the negatives...cuz i always like to end with the positives.

Negative
1. my wing girl wasn't able to come up - She was sick..so i can understand.
2. The first club was ...whack. Definately a lounge..cuz nothing was going on.
3. Waiting in line for the next club was whack too. Standing in the rain for 40 min..to try to get into the club. stupid.
4. My crew was mostly guys...thank goodness for the few girls in our group (mentioned later in the postitive) for salvaging the nite a lil...since the rest of the party was pretty much to themselves.
5. Basically...all the girls were too themselves....might as well have just kept me outside.
6. Without a wing girl...i pretty much just found myself watching...bored...and yeah...no fun.

Positives
1. Chilled with Rico, Ed and Bren...plus Mark, Anh, Ed D, and Meagan. Good seeing them again. Special ups to Anh and Megan for not making me look gay dancing on the floor solo.
2. Had a real heart to heart with Rico in the car on my way back....that was cool...mostly. He's always gonna be my boy...that and bren and ed.
Special- Had fun at Disneyland with my sister. That was good times...guess it kinda makes up for it.

Personally...i guess...i'm over it. FUCK IT ALL. Thats all i'm thinking right now. I can't tell if its the Incredible Hulk, the Jack and Coke, or whatever the fuck i drank..but...i'm pretty much over it....

I've pretty much given up on everything. I'm just gonna do my own thing..and fuck everyone else.

Forcast for rain this weekend...hope it doesn't ruin the weekend. Grace coming up to visit...and we're all gonna chill in LA sat nite. This "beard" is really starting to bug. I've been growing my hair (head and facial) since Japan...just to see what it is gonna look like. So far its ok...but now it's just a waiting game...till i finally decide to cut it off.

grrr...too tired last nite. Could hardly keep my eyes open. well..here is the mandatory blurb =p. Got super busy at work..so need to tackle that.

Grr...i hate the rain. I just want to go home.
Today was...ok. Besides the rain bringing down my mood, it was fairly uneventful...to the point of boring sometimes. I'm enjoying the fact that the recent post has created soo much activity =p..and unfortunate that it will soon be gone due to daily postings. Which is why i need to create my own website. I've got the space...just need to think of the name....as well as design it. Suggestions on names would be appreciated?

Anyways..I already have this one cool idea..but i'll wait till i put it together first. Lets just say this link is a lil preview. Remember the movie "the debut". I think one of the best lines...well..besides the hands thing...was when joy bisco said...filipino noses are cute...cuz they don't get in the way when you kiss (since they are flat). Paraphrasing of course..but check the link on kiss. =p



Ps...hi rich. My coworker partner in crime... with the best scooby laugh.


Pss...also found this. Romantic movie lines...awww. Had to save it somewhere...why not here?

Now taking applications...for Wing Girls: (wng gûrl)

So..heres the situation. say I want to go out to to chill some nites. Course...call up the boys...tell them lets go chill. If its the bar to just drink..then thats all that i need. Good times...alcohol in volume....conversation....its all good.

On the other hand, if I'm heading to the club...thats a recipe for disaster. This is how it looks. The guys all decked out...sitting in the line...getting a couple drinks...watching the girls go by...then.....thats it. Watch the girls go by. =/. Thought high school was over...think again. Head out to any club right now...and you'll still see it. Pockets of boys/guys...sitting in corners like they're playing pennies against the wall...(ps..i'd always lose.)

Anyways..since that always happened..i decided i wasn't going to go clubbing anymore. Well..not exactly like that. I decided that if i ever go clubbing, i want to make sure that there was an even ratio (guys and girls in a group)...or at the least...one girl that is confident enough to spend the time out with the guys. Basically...a wing girl.

Yup...just like the concept of the wing man, basically a girl that is fun to chill with. Someone who can hold a converstation...interesting...fun to be around...and basically thats all. She can have a boyfriend...and as long as he isn't a jealous crazed maniac...but someone that i guess i think is just good to go. Not someone that i am particularly romanticly involved with (that would defeat the purpose of the wing girl)...maybe somewhat interested in....but simply someone who just enjoys having fun. (nope...wing girl does not translate into 1 nite stand either...so don't think that much fun). This would be the type of girl...who can figure out who you are eyeing...and even push you to approach (yea..i can be a sucker for a cute girl at times..just no game ^_^).

So there it is...either i dive right in..and start dancing with strangers (which i have done before)...or make sure i have a wing girl along with me. So..if your interested...(and i have a bunch of my friends in mind)...then let me know. =)

Whats the worse that can happen...u spend a nite out on the town with me. I hope that isn't too bad.

Yipee....

Well today i went with sam and got myself a Disneyland Season pass. It was soo cool....

It wasn't much of a day...as i spent most of the time in the kiddie rides with Kirsten and Katie...but i did do a lot of people watching...which i love to do. Afterwards we had a post valentine family dinner...at a family restaurant...Buca Di Beppos. For a second there, I could swear i saw a smile on my mom's face. Have to wonder at times...about the state of my family...and how we're gonna end up. For now, its a day by day thing...and i guess everyone is just ok with that...but looking at families all over disneyland...could only make me yearn for more. I know i've always been a family oriented guy. Definately want to start my own family....always felt that i'd have to take care of all the security aspects first (home, good job, stable environment)...guess along the way to make sure everything goes right...i missed out on finding someone. Hopefully that will get resolved too.

Today was the first day with Sam back..that we were able to hang out. What did i do? clean my room. Well..sam did watch some tv with me...then passed out. Course..i was sleeping most of the morning. Good thing there is no work tomorrow.

I'm hoping that this house opportunity will come through in Monterey Park...i'll have to do what I can to follow up on it. Either way, need to get things moving on in my life. Right now, cleaning up is one thing...but need to advance as well.

Ahh..valentines day...it was nice. Had an EXCELLENT meal care of Harold and Donny, hosted by Maureen. WOW...couldn't believe all the food from that nite. 7 courses that covered everything from fish, meat, lamb, salad, cheesecake.....ugg. Went home full and happy.

Trying to just come to the realization...or just getting out. The Black and Red party at Gideon's was fun also. Tried not to be so closed...and just relax. Was gonna do the same tonite at the dinner...but withdrew. I have a couple lithmus tests...things that i share only with those i feel are close to me. Special songs, movie,...whatever. I'm a B-side kinda guy. I love finding the songs on a CD that are the BEST...but no one ever knows about (never gets played on the air). That me...i look for and find the things...and see things most people don't see.

Anyways...Sam's back home..so thats cool. Gonna crash now and see if i get up for Basketball tomorrow.

Sitting here at work...waiting to go to a party. Things are going ok...i guess. Not really too motivated for anything. Oddly, my leg is killing me..and i didn't even do anything.
So..this is a black and red party...singles type. Couples in red...non-couples in black. Trying to come in with an open mind...but really just looking to chill. Yeah..i'm a "social" person...but you really have to be in the mood for it. if you really paid attention..u'd see i'm actually pretty private. I'm just happy for those people around me that make the effort to talk with me...when so often i just close people out.
Anyways..i'm outtie. Sam's coming back tomorrow..so that will be cool. Yea!
Also...watch 50 First dates....great movie. Needed a good laugh.

ok...so its not exactly profound thinking...but definately creative.
Got this in an email...and had to comment. Enjoy =p

You know you grew up in the 1980's and early 1990's if...

1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE."

ray> woah...no way...I dont believe that...PSYCHE!

2. You watched the Pound Puppies.

ray> That show sucked...i preferred Bionic Six

3. You can sing the rap to the "Fresh Prince of Bel air"

ray> "Now this is a story all about how....oh man."...but hey..i still remember calton on Silver Spoons. (damn..dated myself even more). PSYCHE

4. You wore biker shorts under your skirts and felt stylish.

ray> stylish? hum..more supportive than stylish...lil restrictive...

5. You yearned to be a member of the Baby-sitters club and tried to start a club of your own.

ray> umm..nope. but i heard there was a movie.

6. You owned those lil Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls.

ray> um..nope. I remember Rainbow brite though.

7. You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey on Blossom.

ray> Woah. (see first answer)

8. Two words: M.C. Hammer

ray> Its hammer now..and he's on TBN. Still 2 legit 2 quit.

9. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock."

ray> nope....saw the muppets though.

10. You had plastic streamers on your handle bars.

ray> cute pink and white...oops...nope. I actually had "left" and "right" taped on my big wheel. ANd the streamers where black and blue.

11. You can sing the entire theme song to "Duck Tales."

ray> I always wanted to dive into a safe full of gold coins.

12. When it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.

ray> Bionic six....6:30am.

13. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.

ray> that would look stupid. I pulled it to the back.

14. You saw the original "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" on the big screen.

ray> Go Ninja Go Ninja Go.

15. You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.

ray> Computers? are those them TVs with a keyboard thingies?

16. You made your mom buy one of those clips that would hold your shirt in a knot on the side.

ray> Nope..but i did want the jeans with the Airbush on. (bbd - poison video)

17. You played the game "MASH" (Mansion, Apartment, Shelter, House)

ray> I'll be living in a Mansion, with Alyssa Milano, with 3 kids, driving a ferrari (that was after three attempts)

18. You wore Jordache jean jacket and you were proud of it.

ray> NOT

19. L.A. Gear...

ray> I've actually heard that Sketchers are actually owned by the former creator of LA gear. Note the double laces.

20. You wanted to change your name to "JEM" in Kindergarten.

ray> The music's contagious, outrageous...Jem is my...oops.....U know the misfits were pioneers of their times.

21. You remember reading "Tales of a fourth grade nothing" and all the Ramona books. Ramona completed in 1st grade.

ray> read in grade school? didn't read in college either. One thing though was book club stuff, buy enough books to earn the free poster.

22. You know the profound meaning of "WAX ON, WAX OFF"

ray> Paint the fence, Paint the house, Sweep the leg Johnny - all later used on lil siblings.

23. You wanted to be a Goonie.

ray> the asian one with the gadgets. Course he hooked up with Indiana Jones later. ("fortune cookies?" - Short Round)

24. You ever wore fluorescent clothing.

ray> ever been to a rave? still do.

25. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off...

ray> or before Pepsi burned him up (his hair), thats why he's drinking 7up. =p

26. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.

ray> It was actually a plot by Gargamel to defeat the smurfs. She was supposed to make them all jealous and fight amoungst themselfs...but the smurfs just showed her their smurfy love, and everything just became smurf-tastic.

27. You took Lunch Pails to school.

ray> yup. Dukes of Hazzard and Star Wars. Think i used it as a weapon at times.

28. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets.

ray> Craze - no, Slap bracelets...yeah. Pogs, slammers.

29. You still get the urge to! say "NOT" after every sentence.

ray> That only applies when your being sarcastic...NOT!

30. You remember Hypercolor t-shirts.

ray> Damn nasty when you saw how it changed when people sweat.

31. Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band.

ray> The misfits from Jem...never heard of Barbie and the rockers.

32. You thought Sheera and He-Man should hook up.

ray> Thats SICK. They were cousins. He-man always had a thing for Teela. but he seemed to hang around the sorcoress a lot too...but in actuallity..thats his mom. WOAH!

33. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged friendship bracelets.

ray> tear*. Stupid cheap thread.

34. You ever owned a pair of Jelly-Shoes.

ray> How about Roos with the zipper and pocket on the side. what about NIke..before it became Nike Air

35. After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you kept saying "I know you are, but what am I?"

ray> Said that before the movie. But still freaked out at the LARGE MARGE story in the movie.

36. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up"

ray> Jojo says that everytime we're at a party =p. But I also remember how Larry Parker got that guy 2.1 Million. (why does that dude still have to do commercials then??)

37. You remember going to the skating rink before there were in-line skates.

ray> I think Skate Depo in cerritos still has 4 wheeler skates.

38. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip and Slide.

ray> ahh..yes..the first reason why girls needed knee pads (*ducks for slap)

39. You have ever played with a Skip-It.

ray> no skip it, but double dutch jump rope.

40. You had or attended a birthday party at McDonalds.

ray> fuck the clown..Chuck E Cheese

41. You've gone through this nodding your head in agreement.

ray> no..more like shaking my head wondering why?

42. You remember Popples.

ray> Dog pillows...weren't as popular as pound puppies.

43. "Don't worry, be happy"

ray> you know ur all whistling the song now...*smack

44. You wore like, EIGHT pairs of socks over tights with high top Reeboks.

ray> umm..nope. No tights..and 2 pairs of socks to cover shin guards in soccer. and Reeboks? rich people...I sported Pro Wings.

45. You wore socks scrunched down.

ray> many sexy japanese girls that do that...unfortunately ...i don't.

46. "Miss MARY MACK MACK MACK, all dressed in BLACK BLACK BLACK"

ray> Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary (in a dark bathroom)..and watch what happens

47. You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.

ray> still got my first one...plays like crap now..but yeah.

48. You remember watching both "Gremlins" movies.

ray> on video. What where the 3 rules. 1. No Sunlight. 2. No water. 3. And never, never, never feed after midnite. Did u know that the voice of Gizmo is the same guys on bobby's world. Howie Mandel

49. You know what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare!!"

ray> *chest puffing out*. Now...explain to me why you have a grumpyl care bear?

50. You remember watching Rainbow Bright and My Little Pony Tales"

ray> nope. Gi Joe and Transformers

51. You thought Doogie Howser was hot.

ray> nope. isn't he gay?

52. You remember Alf, the lil furry brown alien from Melmac.

ray> and Lucky the cat.

53. You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool.

ray> When did they become NOT cool?? Course the whole Jordan with semen in his stomach is a tough break...or when Joe went thru puberty..and couldn't sing his old songs.

54. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By the Bell", the ORIGINAL class.

ray> They were the hottest ones. Come on...Kelly Kapowski..thats got to have some sexual undertones. And look how Jessie did Showgirls.

55. You know all the words to Bon Jovi - SHOT THRU THE HEART.

ray> Nope..i'd have to refer to Conan O'Brian's Triumph skit with Bon Jovi. "For me to poop on"

56. You just sang those words to yourself.(didn't you)

ray> Guilty

57. You remember watching Magic vs. Bird.

ray> yeah...sorry guys...rooted for Bird. I'm such an LA teams hater.

58. You cut your t-shirts in half and wore it with your homemade Levi shorts..(the shorter the better)

ray> nope

59. You remember when mullets were cool!

ray> again..when were they not cool? goes well with the wife beater t-shirt.

60. You had a mullet!

ray> we called them High top fades.

61. You still sing "We are the World"

ray> if its on the radio. NOT!

PASS THIS ON TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS WHO GREW UP IN THE
1980s or early 1990s!!! ROCK ON!!!.. and thank
goodness it is over!!!!!!!!!????????

ray> not big on chain letters..but had to throw in for the laughs. Sorry if i don't know u...when you get this reply...=p Did post it though.

Will tell u one thing though....like wine...everything only gets better with age. =)

Post post post...trying to do this nightly is starting to crumble. I think i'll try to post in the afternoon..when i can be more profound and thoughtful...rather than..
"tired..long day...here's my post....good nite"

this week is moving pretty quick. Lots of stuff going on...just need to make sure i can handle it all. Finally got my calendar at home. Surprising how i need to plan stuff almost months ahead of time. Guess its my tendancy to be prepared. Too bad missed Tera Patrick for January...but i think i'll leave it on that pic just as a tribute =).

wow..i can almost see my pool table again. =). Nothing much to "report". Was really happy to hear from Diana again since i haven't talked to her in so long. Also had a cool converstation with my lil annette. Girls are really cool to talk to when u want to bounce ideas and get some feedback.

Hot news...my new car. Dang (click link for video)

Humm...well...ummm.....yeah.
Writing out of a sense of commitment...as opposed to desire. Wanting to make sure i do this for today...but not really caring what i say. Been thinking how introspective i've been lately...and haven't really been out there with people. Guess i havent found that person i'm willing to share it all with. Right now cleaning out the room and getting a feeling of cleaning out my past.

Tried to be productive today...well..i was productive in sleeping. Got some things done around the house...but not a lot. Instead spent some quality time with my dad and a friend...so in the end still well worth it.

Ahh...couldn't wait for the weekend this time. Looking to chill and just recoop. I'm surprised how busy things have been...but now its just me time. Again looking at myself...and not sure what i see. Who am i? where do i belong? I had dinner with my cousins a couple days ago...and i was genuinely happy there. Surrounded by people again...yet feeling alone.... I guess thats just the way its gonna be.

Debating just dropping off...completely...

funny...i look down in my lap...see my dog curled up there...and i see a image of peace. wish it could be that easy...

maybe it is...



I guess this does work. This was supposed to just be a "blurb" saying things are ok...but instead it becomes more reflective. I guess i will keep doing this a while.

Work is actually settling down...and things are looking good. The house hunting wasn't as productive as i had wished...but i haven't looked at any new listings. Sam and Mom are going to Europe tomorrow..and will be gone for a week. Things at home however have been building up...well..call it what it is...laundry. =p. Personally though..things are doing ok. Guess just gotta be happy for that. Aiight..i'm out...It almost friday.

Thanks to Bren, I have now found my new Digital Camera.
Pentax Optio S40. Just have to wait till it comes out in the US.

SD memory, internal 11MB, small-compact, remote control..and most esp...runs on AA batteries. Yeah!

OK..wrap ups...this will be a long one..
well..at least its the Japan one....(i started it yesterday...so it still counts as that day =p)
Japan

It was sooo cool. I went on the trip not expecting anything...so i throughy enjoyed it. For starters, we flew on a 777 ANA plane. Now..this thing was cool. There was a plane cam, so we could watch on the monitors as we were taking off, landing, and even in flight. cool?... it was actually pretty scary to see how the planes get set to take off. Well..we all took it in stride, as our convention group acted like it was some roller coaster ride. Bet the Japanese passengers were thinking crazy Americans. Anyways, it was a direct fight - about 10 hours each way. The nice thing was each seat had an entertainment system. Movies and games. I watched a bunch of movies and even played old school nintendo. well..on with the story.

Once we landed, we took a bus to Ikebukuro, Tokyo - The location of the hotel and the convention. Cool thing is the Sunshine Prince Hotel connected to the Mall that is connected to the convention center. The mall was like 5 stories tall, and had pretty much every store. (yes..i spent a lot of time there.) We didn't stop once we got to the hotel...and instead started walking out and touring the city till the wee hours of that morning. Had Ramen by pointing out which one on the menu it was =p (thats how i ate through most of the trip...by pointing on menus). It was great...had a New Orleans sorta feel to it. Video games, UFO catchers, convience stores that sold onigiri. It definately was the life.

Woke up the next day to do our convention requirement of a 1 day visit. AXTokyo. Odd. Its like having a mickey mouse convention in Florida. Shoot. Anime is all around Japan, why have the american version of it where it all began? Suffice it to say, it doesn't have the magic that AX does. I look forward each year to see the latest in "stuff". Well..in Japan, I just walked across the street to the 7 story Animate store to get that. So yeah...the convention was ok... It had it problems....can't say much for programming. I was just glad to get it done. We spent most of the day just getting accustomated and planning for the rest of the trip. Felt kinda bad leaving behind 2 of our crew (mantha and bren) since they had to work at the con.
Well..during the week, Ed, Sharon and I got familiar with the JR rail system. Quite a feat...least when you start....but i've definately fallen in love with public transit. It was great being able to hit all the cities, and not worry about parking or much of anything else. (yeah..i like the BART too). We took the Yamanote Line for everything. We visited Tokyo, Shibuya, Akihabara, Shinjuku, Shinagawa, and Ueno. Each city was great having a high tech and new york feel to it. I had Kaiten Sushi which is sushi served via conveyor belt. We walked through the Japanese Farmers market of Tobu. Each location gave me a greater appreciation for the country, as well as our own. I can see similarities...and the obvious differences. I guess i can sum it all up saying that i could definately find myself living there. The people are just so respectful and courteous. Besides the obvious language barrier, I think the atmosphere could definately fit my lifestyle....oh..and the girls...man....you wouldn't believe how many cute girls there were. =p

Anyways...the trip was too short...but oddly i didn't feel sad as i was leaving. For some reason I feel that i will be heading back there in the future. I'm actually thinking of implimenting a conveyor belt in my house. =)

started the wrap ups...but got rather late. Hopefully i'll have time tomorrow. Today was a pretty bad day...plus it rained..SUCKS.

By the way...a "wardrobe malfunction" my ass...Either way JT is still my hero ^_^

SuperBowl BABY
Go Patriots! Didn't really follow either of these teams, but since my work is based out in Boston...i had a bias. Today started out with playing basketball with my old friend. I'm gonna give more insight to this day later, as I'm pretty tired. Headed over to Maureen's place for Mike's party. It was definately a blast.
Crap...hope this isn't a busy week at work...