The watch...the pager.
Another Christmas has passed.

For the most part...it was ok. Got stuck at work..then stuck in traffic. Hopefully won't repeat that when i have to work tomorrow.
Got some stuff done on my project..so that was cool. Actually went to church. Don't know if that was a good thing or not. Think that will be a "discussion" for another day...maybe tomorrow if i'm bored.

The act of gift giving has taken a new form for me. I truly believe its the thought that counts. I think it is more of the matter of actually being heard. I remember when i was in 8th grade, i wanted a swatch watch. why? well...in 8th grade, all the cool kids were wearing it. I asked and asked my parents and anyone to get me one ($85 was expensive back then), but no one ever got me one. Later on in high school, the object of "coolness" was a pager. Again, ask and ask...but in this case, not to receive. Guess the point of the matter was more than the actual object itself. As far as the watch is concerned, I saved up and bought it myself. In the case of the pager, i had enough and just bought it myself again. Even during that time, it wasn't really about the object...it was whether people were even listening.

Well... I learned a lot this season. The coolest gifts i got were the buffy season 5 from Brenda and the Bath and Body works from Alfred. It was too funny, Alfred even wrapped them all up and put it in a PacSun box. Shopping at Bath and Body is almost as awkward as a guy going to buy something from a Victoria's Secret store. Anyway, it really wasn't about the items...it was the fact that someone listened to me. I realize some of my most treasured gifts have been those where people were simply listening: Enida's Jaguar, Sam's Talking Boo, Sam and Will's Simpson Bowling shirt. For them and for those that do...I appreciate it more than you know.

The other thing i learned was my coworker Ilan. What he taught me was how to say Fuck It. yeah...i've know how to say that before =p, but truly it was a lesson in self assertion. Yeah i like to think of others, sometimes more than myself...well...now i'm just doing a little more of the latter. Does it sound selfish?...oh well...too bad. I'm looking to get more into a core for myself. My friends tell me i've been spreading myself too thin..well...now I'm just focusing on things. So..this Christmas day i actually spent with Rico. He's like a brother to me and has always been there, even though i never called him every week...or sometimes even for months. I've had enough people come and go in my life, now I'm just gonna focus on to those that mean more to me. I'm also gonna be more assertive and direct in general. Also being true to myself. Not trying to be cool, just being myself. Guess this means I'm growing up.

"When I was a child I spoke as a child I understood as a child I thought as a child;
but when I became a man I put away childish things." I Cor. xiii. 11.

Do you remember me?
I sat upon your knee
I wrote to you with childhood fantasies
Well I'm all grown up now
Can you still help somehow?
I'm not a child but my heart still can dream

So here's my lifeful wish
My grown up Christmas List
Not for myself
But for a world in need

No more lives torn apart
That wars will never start
And time will heal our hearts
Every man will have a friend
That right will always win
And love will never end
This is my grown up Christmas List
- various - My grown up Christmas List

Point to Ponder
You can hear me all day...but do you truly listen?
Something to think about over my starbucks coffee. =/