By the power of grayskull...i have the power!!! - He-Man

So today being monday got back into business. Set up a new user in the office as well as tried to tie up some PMX issues. Trying to make plans for the weekend. Rico's Bday is Friday, Rozelle's on Sat, and Will's on Mon. Not sure about Rico or Will, but Rozelle is thinking vegas for the weekend (not a bad idea..althought its still hella hot).

As far as the quote, I headed over to my cousin's house after work just to chill. Alfred has always been into old cartoons and had just bought the old He-Man tv series on dvd. It was classic watching the episodes. Man, those were the days when the cartoons entire 30 minutes revolved around the moral of the episode. Really makes you wonder and realize how different it is to grow up now compared to when I was growing up.

In the nature versus nurture debate, as much as your genes and biology give you certain obvious advantages...i still feel that nurture plays a bigger role in people's development. You learn and grow from the things around you....Reactions to the actions in your life. Your life is based on your decisions. ...so ...yeah. =p. Its late now but i'm going to end with one of my favorite quotes.

I am a part of all that I have met;

Yet all experience is an arch wherethrough

Gleams that untravelled world,

whose margin fades

For ever and for ever when I move.

How dull it is to pause, to make an end,

To rust unburnished, not to shine in use!

To follow knowledge like a sinking star,

Beyond the utmost bound of human thought

Ulysses - Alfred, Lord Tennyson

The rest of the weekend.

Anyways...after Friday nite..i originally thought i had a busy weekend planned. When i looked at it again though, i found that i could actually just step back and take a time out. Saturday morning, Karen and i decided to make breakfast and clean up around the house. After sprinkling strawberries and powered suger over her first ever french toast, we ate breakfast and later went out to rake the yard. She had to leave to pick up a friend from the airport and i effectively passed out tired after she left. Didn't wake up till midnite (missing my friend's bday party) and totally energized at such a late hour. I then proceeded to watch a the MUMMY with the director's dialog and clean my room. I find it a lot more interesting to see the background and understanding of how a piece of work comes together...much like my interest in history (in a general sense). Anyways...movie and cleaning leads to another late nite.

I wake up Sun morning to Justin's call about going to dragonboat. Its soon followed my my cousin's call to come over for pancakes (seems we were the only ones in town as family went to Vegas. Damn...maybe next week). Well..it got me out of bed and on the road to pick up my sister and see Justin and Mel (who were competeting..and had driven down from Norcal). After much driving..and asking people for directions (both the gas station guy and the Ruby's owner were from OC..and had no clue about directions in Long Beach)...we finally found it. Watched a couple races and caught up with Justin. It was a beautiful day..a bit on the hot side. Couldn't believe how many teams and people were out there. Marveled at all the names...TeamLARD, Ripple Effects, Killer Guppies, GUnutz...high school teams as well as teams from other states.

Well..the best part of the weekend was just spending time with my sis. We caught up on a lot of things and just enjoyed the day and each other's company.

Breaking My Cardinal Rule of Clubbing

So...tonite was that meeting with Kaila and her manager. As a meeting..it went ok. For a clubbing nite....ai ya.

So i got into Level 3 in Hollywood and Highlands. I felt pretty good since the last time i tried to get in with my friends, we waited in line for 1.5 hours only to leave. The interior was ok..but this looked like a slow nite. Stood around, had a Crown and coke, while i waited to meet up with the manager. Watched the other acts teh manager brough it, before i finally broke down and asked if this girl i was looking at was actually Kaila. Thank goodness it was, since i thought my nite would have been in vain. After meeting with the manager a bit, we talked about about building the relationship to showcase his other groups. Best part was when i was about to leave i met this guy who was exactly the type of contact i was looking for. Seems he has ties to the Japanese industry and someone I'm hoping will get us some big acts for next year.

Anyways, my cardinal rule of never going to a club without a group of friends..or at a minimum a wing girl was broken tonite. I was put on the comp list and wasn't even sure if i could bring anyone else. Therefore, most of the nite was just sitting in VIP and wishing i had some real friends around to chill and have fun with. Oh well...looked at it as a business meeting from the beginning..and didn't realy change anything. As far as the peeps...i think i'm definately getting old(er). Much of the typical trashy looking girls...as "attractive" as i may think they are...were all pretty much the same. I used to (desire) and drool over these girls (ok..maybe a lil still). Now i'm just....over it.

Still feeing like karoke to Usher. Maybe gonna try some dance moves =p. Anyways..if i hit a club..i think i'll hit 24 hour fitness.

Posting now since the weekend looks busy.

Meeting Kaila and manager tonite.
Dragon Boat Races - Justin and Mel are down for the weekend.
Possible Soju and Korean BBQ on Sat nite with Nea and Dave

Plus clearing out the bedframe from Garland's room as well as assembling the table i just got from Mark. Bye bye encino apt...and many fond memories.

Now just need to make it thru the rest of the day.

Financial independence?

So i sat at the bank today and got schooled. There were a number of reasons why i wants to improve my understanding of my financial situation. With Garland moving in, I decided it was time to make sure he could open his room window and therefore decided to invest in replacing the other half of my house windows. Now the first set cost me 3 months to cover....but thanks to my cheap ass last month (spent less than a $100 on the credit card)...i can try to pay for the rest of it now.

Also..with much talk of housing bubbles bursting, interest rates, points, float, bubble baths, rubber duckies....shit...as u can tell... I'm not all that interested in much of the financial world. Guess i'm pretty old school in that sense. I work and get paid. Hopefully for what i'm worth or more. I get a bill...i pay it. If i'm having a hard time...i don't spend. I don't lavish much on myself....but when i do..damn..its pretty lavish. I am the eternal college student. I stay up till 2am..and can live off cold pizza. Anyways, i digress.

So..this investing in the house, figured it'd be good to try to use the "money i'm making" from buying the house...to help pay for some of its aesthetics. So i sit and talk to the bank officer.

For the most part, she's really surprised i had little to know comprehension of my loan. Well..someone explained it to me someday..and i believed him..so i signed. Now i want to ask about it again. She explains to me more about my loan...but again....housing bubble became bubble bath..and i started staring into the space behind her. Then came a series of questions that brought me back to reality.

BANK: Do you plan on keeping your house?
Ray: umm...yes.
BANK: Why are you paying additional to the principal?
Ray: umm..to pay it off?
BANK: WHY? if you plan on staying there, you can invest in other things.
Ray: I have a account with you...i want to maintain my minimum balance to get the max on my interest
BANK: WHY?..our checking interest rates are crap.

So ...yeah. She told me..looking at my income, she's surprised i'm not starving and living the life of a hermit. Granted my "nest egg" has been getting a bit smaller lately...but thats understandable with the "home improvement" stuff i've been doing.

Anyways...walking out...i starting thinking my next career move will be a island hermit...where i can trade my daily collection of shells and coconuts...in exchange for native trinkets and fruits. I'll have to go primal to get me some fish or meat.

Oh yeah...IRS just dinged me for not stating my $4 income from disney stock in 2003. Frickn eh.. ... I need to find my island.

today is my aunt's bday and we had a great dinner for her. 2 bbq grills, rib eye steaks, specialty chicken, some pasta salad, grilled mushrooms. Yumm. I've got food in the fridge to last me for a week.

The best part about it was that the family was all together. My parents, aunts, cousins and sister were all here.

Humm...what else can i talk about. Not sure..haven't been inspired to write much as of late. I truly need some inspired writing for my annual review. Unfortunately I keep putting it off. As far as pmx stuff, i'm feeling a bit resigned. Glad its coming up soon and somewhat hoping for it to be over.

Need to start prepping that room for my new roommate. Work was calm...
Anny says to write more...but really just haven't had time to sit and think about things. ugg..still have my annual review to do at work.

Day Recap - i need a nap =p

crazy day at work...but finally got a handle on it. Worried that this week would look much like the past 2 weeks. Fortunately that is not the case.

Actually didn't get to eat all day. Tired and starving, headed home and got a call from my cousin for dinner. Basically had a hot plate dinner, cooking up beef, lamb, tofu, vegetables and such. It was really good...especially just us sitting around and being together.

Going to do somehting like that for my aunt's bday coming up this wed as well. In all the craziness...its nice to just be able to stop and relax.

Day Recap - busy busy

Obon festival...getting a lion pooh capsule...SUPER no 2 ramen...Pork cutlet curry...Koreans in the Philippines.

Sunday. Nice, hot, full of friends. And now i have a new roommate.

Tired..so may fill in later...but yeah. quite a weekend.

Day Recap - too much

btw..got a flat of strawberrys for $7..so shortcakes anyone?

ahh....relaxing day today. Had a good day cleaning the house and karen helped in the front room. Finally decided how many t-shirts to keep and got the clothes off the floor. Garland checked out the room and looks like i've got a new roommate =). Plus got to hangout with Reuben again. Anyways..its still hot...and i've got a meeting tomorrow.

Day Recap
Activity: Cleaning house

well..made it thru the week. Today wasn't too bad. Had to take care of a couple things...but happy to announce 4 more musicians for PMX. I'd have to say I'm biased since i've been recruiting people that i like...even if i never really followed them. Adult Contemporary and some RnB. Plus...that special model-singer i talked about earlier this week.









Not entirely done though...just need to keep going. Can't wait till Labor day weekend and this is over (whew).

Day Recap
Sit-ups/Push-ups: 0
Activity: Game nite with Coworkers
Reading: disk 9 of 9 - Attack of the clones

Can't wait for the weekend..and trying to survive the heat. Got the windows open and the fans going. Maybe get a central air system..but doubt it will happen within the next few years.

Day Recap = 0

Today wasn't too bad. Still had a lot to do and mentally shot. Went home to visit the family and Cube. Had to put a bark collar on him. Didn't think he'd like it too much, but seems to be ok with it.
I'd write..if i had time.

Day Recap - 0

MY GOODNESS. Got to work..and got on the phone. Hours on end with Microsoft...it was unbelievable. Course everyone calls me during those times as well. Anyways..nothign to report...besides it getting hot and hotter.
Will compose more when i have more time.

Day Recap - 0

crazy crazy day...and going on to crazy crazy nite.
Still going but will fill you in later.

Day Recap - 0

Coming back to MPK...
The weekend was fun..and eventful. Lots of stuff to talk about...but right now just need to get some rest. Did pretty good. Only spent on food, tolley fare, and a donation to the Christopher Reeve foundation. Came home with Superman dogtags and a Flash T-shirt.

Comic Con has changed quiet a bit.

Day Recap
Sit-ups: 20
Push-ups: 20
Activity: driving from SD
Reading: 0

made it thru day one of Comic Con. Great times hanging out with Martin..and meeting up with Donny and Jojo. Well...worked my hours and got my Flash T-shirt. We'll see about doing it again tomorrow. Just tired..

Day Recap - 0

Made it thru friday.....and now heading down to SD. Be at Martin's over the weekend.

Room 1 done.
Room 2 almost done. Its almost friday!!!

Still deciding for the weekend....but looks like Comic Con. ahh...the memories. Last time i was there was 1993. Geeez.

Milestones

First off, after dinner with the cousins, i come out to learn that my car is dead. Stupid headlights left on drained the battery. Fortunately was able to stop Alfred and Brenda and faced one of my fears...Jump starting a car.

It actually shouldn't be too bad..but i have this fear of sparks, smoke, fire, EXPLOSION!. Yeah..and why does everyone have a different method to jump start their car...anyways. Alf (cus i stepped 10 feet away) had his car turned off..and attached the two connections to the truck. He then put both connections to my dead battery. Now..most cars guys will say..thats all wrong...since the negative on the dead battery should be grounded to the car. Well..there is a reason for this detail.

Now...with both cars off...he tells me to start my car. I asked why his shouldn't be running, but realized..just listen. So i attempt to start the car. After the second try it works. Good Stuff.
Well..i figured to let it run a while, but alf says not to worry. I stopped and started the car..and it still worked. I even stopped and started as i got gas less than a mile away...and yes it worked again. Score.

Well..it didn't work this morning.

Ugg...so i call Alfred..but he's unavailable. I see my cousin John is home..but i dont' want to wake him. I call up my friend Andy, and he says he will come right over, after his friend arrives...and i call my dad to get some fatherly advice. He says from the sounds of it..its the battery.

So i come to my first milestone for today.

Not wanting to be even more late for work (cuz i had a lot to do), i go across the street and "barrow" the battery out of my aunt's decomissioned Accord on her drive way. Remembering the details of last nite (and the fact the cars weren't running) i proceed to jump start my car from the spare battery. Success! Conquered that obstacle.

I'll talk about the second milestone tomorrow.

Day Recap
Sit-ups: 0
Push-ups: 0
Activity: Jumpstarting car =p
Reading: Attack of the Clones - Great since i lost my radio presets due to battery

Music director in action
It feels good when things go your way. Crossing my fingers and hoping for the best.

-aim convo-
rw: hello -----
rw: my name is r w and i just wanted to let u know i sent u an email today about a possible musicial performance if you were interested
rw: i figured you likely have a lot of fan mail, so just look for the one from -----@pacificmediaexpo.com
rw: thanks..and i look forward to hearing from you
www.pacificmediaexpo.com
model-singer: hey!
model-singer: yah my manager was going to give u a call
model-singer: we are very interested
model-singer: just hoping we have my live show pulled together by then
model-singer: working on releasing new material
rw: wow..cool..
rw: are u working on another cd as well?
rw: better question...meaning to be released soon?
model-singer: new single in a month
rw: well..this is my work AIM,
rw: but if your manager wants to get a hold of me...email is best
my number is -----
rw: hoping we can work something out
model-singer: ok great :-)
model-singer: ill have him send u an email today
rw: thanks.>
i'll follow up with a media kit and such
rw: just tell him to let me know what you would need to perform
model-singer signed off at 4:39:28 PM.

----------
He goes for the fade away...and its goooood!!!

Hopefully i can announce who it is relatively soon.

Day Recap
Sit-ups: 20
Push-ups: 20
Activity: Chicken Nuggets with Karen....Dinner with cousins.
Reading: Attack of the Clones 5 of 9. There was soo much to the story that the crappy movie didn't cover.

After such a "busy" weekend, it was nice to come back home and just relax. Finishing up things at work, i headed home and decided to have dinner with my aunt and cousin. We ate some pineapple fried rice and some chicken, add a lil bit of pasta and then cranberries. Granted it was a hodgepodge of different things, the company and the talk was well worth it. You just have to take a step away from your "life" at times, and just sit back and appreciate.

As far as actually working on something, I pretty much cleaned out the larger of the two bedrooms. Sorting through piles of clothes and deciding what to put in a storage and what to give/throw away. And now just thinking about tackling the rest of the week. Got a call from Donny and that was nice catching up. Now i have to figure out soon what to do for the weekend. Work Comic Con in SD....or friends and family in LV? *ponder*

Day Recap
Sit-ups: 0
Pushi-ups: 0
Activity: Late nite boba with Strawberry Brick toast. Cleaning room
Reading: Attack of the clones - disk 4 of 9. (need to get next one soon.)

Ahh...today was just...relaxing.
Sitting by the pool...eating hot links, burgers, tri-tip....yummm. Getting me hungry again. After a late not of just hanging with the guys, i woke up to an enjoyable afternoon of sitting in the sun. The BBQ was a success as even people from Norcal made it down to hang out and chill. Shooting hoops into the pool and a visit by the Team America Swim team... all and all a good day.

Day Recap
Sit-ups: 0
Push-ups: 0
Activity: Eating
Reading: Attack of the Clones

Today Karen and I went to the King Tut exhibit for my company outing. I was hesitant about going to the exhibit when i first heard of it, but when i later learned it was returning to Cairo for an indeterminate amount of time, decided i wanted to see it. Missed out on my day off since i though it was going to be available, but lucked out that there were some last minute cancellations.
I'd have to say i was really impressed with the presentation. It had a very hollywood feel to it...Especially the intro. The exhibit was really fairly long but had some pretty cool artifacts.
After LACMA, I headed out to Ventura County for Eunice's bday. While i was expecting typically bbq food, was pleasantly surprised with soo much traditional Filipino food. Oh man...there was soo much food and it all tasted good. Wanted to take more home with me but couldn't since i was crashing at Jerry's place.
I'm there right now..and so far..so cool. More like a guys nite out..raiding Ralphs and watching movies. Tomorrow's the picnic, but for the most part just looking forward to a nice day in the sun.

Day Recap
Sit-ups: 0
Push-ups: 0
Activity: LACMA - King Tut
Reading: Attack of Clones - Annakin sees Padme again.

Yeah its friday. Time for a weekend of fun in the Sun. PMX stuff is on the move and hoping to close out stuff relatively soon. Not much into writing today...think i'm gonna focus more on getting those two rooms ready.

Day Recap
Sit-ups: 20
Push-ups: 20
Activities: humm..getting crepe today =p
Reading: Attack of the clones. This author isnt' as good as the first book. Tries to make up for it with sound effects, but tough sale.

i love the fact that this is a short week. Hurry weekend =).
Plans for the weekend are the King Tut exhibit on Sat, followed by bday party in Ventura. Then got the PMX picnic on Sun. Sounds like a relaxing weekend of food and sun.
Got one room just about finished and ready for renting. Need to clear out much to get the other one.

Anyone going to Comic Con this year? Thinking about going but likely to make just the weekend and wondering if anyone has any hook-ups. Let me know. Thanks

Day Recap
Sit-ups: 0
Push-ups: 0
Activity: a cookies and juice run before Karen's midterm
Reading: Finished phantom Menace. Starting Attack of the clones.

Back to work today and could hardly get up. Collected on my DVD purchase as well as Amazon..then realized i need to go on credit card lock down. =/ Been paying it off, but it doesn't seem to want to go down. Anyways...not too bad at work. Solved a problem in Australia and nudged my boss again about sending me there. Maybe one day. If not, i'll plan my own vacation (humm...lock down again...gotta save).
So yeah...need to clean up those two rooms and start looking for roommates again. Anyone looking for a place to crash in Monterey Park? Hoping to get it ready by the end of this month.

Day Recap
Sit-ups: at class
Push-ups: at class
Activity: Got back to Hip hop class today. It was really fun. Cool routine
Reading: Last disk of Phantom Menace. AAAlmost finished it today. Definately in the morning.

last day of vacation. Trying to get stuff done. Woke up late but did get to clean up the bathroom. Gym bag is set up again for some afternoon work outs and hopefully gonna finish the last 2 CDs of Phantom Menace.
Today's activity was taking family picture for church. Made it thru traffic and hot weather to take some pretty good shots. I think its been a while since we've all been together like that. It was nice and unfortunately awkward at times. Hopefully it won't always be like that.
Went home afterwards to spend some time with Cube. Later that nite went with Dad to take the Knights picture as well. Nice seeing some of the old Knights out there, and was recruited to another project (as if i had time).
Back home now with stuff to do. Good nite

Day Recap
Sit-ups: 20
Push-ups: 20
Day Recap: Family Photo
Reading: Phantom Menace disk 8 of 9

Happy July 4th
Spend the day rounding out AX. One last walk thru and hanging out with Mark. Found it odd when i tried to call various members of the family and not getting anyone. Seems they were all out to the movies or sleeping. Spent my day with Karen and watched 7 Brides for 7 Brothers.
Now that AX is over, I think I'm ready to take care of some relationship issues i have with various people. Feeling pretty confident about myself and my place...but there are some things i wish were better.

Day Recap - 0

I'm not sure what it is about me..but i do thrive under a certain amount of pressure. Don't get me wrong...its not like i can't relax...but if its too quiet it seems unnerving.
Anyways, today i found myself mostly stuck in the room. Our personal PMX project was supposed to close, but we kept running into issues. Too many people involved and conflicting stories...plus a general lull about PMX...some people where about to lose it.
Well..after multiple meetings and various scenarios...it is done. I personally got to talk to our newest guest of honor and am happy to say together we worked out a deal..allowing me to say =)

Pacific Media Expo proudly welcomes
our Comedian Guest of honor to PMX 2005
Rex Navarrete

The rest of PMX seems to be coming together...and i'm actually getting more excited about it now that AX is over.
Attending AX was just plain weird to me this year. Walking thru the exhibit hall with nothing really interesting to buy, nor recognizing any anime cosplayers. I'd have to say the best moment for me was when i saw my AX/PMX family in aaron's room. It wasn't about any convention or anything else...just us being us.
My regret for the weekend was not being able to make it down SD on Saturday nor getting the chance to see my friends at Downtown Disney. Hopefully when the schedule settles down a bit...i'll be able to visit.
Good news is that even thought the King Tut exhibit is sold out till July 11, my office was able to secure a ticket for this Sat. So i'm gonna get to see it. Yeah!

humm...my first AX...and i'm not staffing. Had and still have some mixed feelings about it all. Drama continues...and as much as i try to stay away from it..its still there. I wasn't even going to be here till Sunday...but drama called.
The day started out good. Plans to go family bbq and jojo's SD party. Got out the house late and had to talk people through things as i packed my bag. Made it to Heritage park for my aunt's bday party - thrown by Mila. It was a lot of fun. Alfred and Brenda were there (although I thought they would be SD for a wedding) as well as all the aunts and cousins. I had just missed the parents, but was still there as Tony's family and Kuya Bigboy came. The day was not complete without a minor water fight and rozelle getting the worse of it =p. Through the day i was getting AX/PMX drama phone calls...but i was happy where i was.
Unfortunately, duty called as well as looking at 2++ hours of traffic to try to make it to SD, so i found myself in anaheim. Trying to mediate and come to a solution, i was able to get everything out..but we weren't able to close our issue. That will hopefully be resolved tomorrow.
Anyways...got to see Sam and Will...as well as the AX crew. It doesn't feel the same..and I really didn't expect it to. Hung out with Garland for dinner and headed to the dance. Techo not my style, but i had fun with it. Later on met with Sam and the Ventura crew and just felt at home. That is/was AX to me. Its always been about the people.
Signing off for the nite. Hope i'll be sober enough for post tomorrow.

Day Recap
Sit-ups: 0
push-ups: 0
Activity: Family BBQ
Reading: 0

Somehow may dad and i did it again. Had some projects to do around the house and i knew there was no way dad could avert my house project. I had spent the previous day clearing out the area in preparation to make some stairs. Well...all is not a loss. While planning on how to set up the stairs, told my dad about how i wanted to make a pseudo deck outside my back door. So, while we were shopping at Home Depot, the stair project was changed to the patio deck project.

Thing is, i felt pretty accomplished as i basically did it all myself. Waterproofing the boards, nailing the supports, and eventually flipping it over. I'll see tomorrow how much i like the feel of wood under my feet as i step out in the morning.

drama you ask, hey..its life. Not necessarily for public consumption, but likely to be shared with everyone else's baggage over dinner or a drink. We are all faced with challenges, but is how we handle these obstacles that make our character.

Day Recap
Sit-ups: 0
Push-ups: 0
Activity: Deck building
Reading: The vote of no confidence in the Senate - Phantom Menace

May edit and add more to this...but had a good day working the yard with Andy. Cleared out the area and will hopefully make some steps. Hope i didn't get sunburned.

Today was a bittersweet day. Some drama..some re-assurances. For right now, I'm ok..just doing what needs to be done and taking things day by day.

Day Recap
Sit-ups: 20
Push-ups: 20
activity: clearing lawn for stairs
reading: zen garden books.

humm...been busy..and unable to get to my computer. Internalizing things again...guess that happens when u try to be the nice guy. Anyways...vacation is coming soon.

Day Recap
Sit-ups: 20
Push-ups: 20
Activity: Sitting in art history class. Learned cool things about Michaelangelo
Reading: Anakin wins the pod race

La la la.
Sitting at work...coordinating with a Microsoft Tech. Got time to kill so taking time to write. Been lacking on that lately.
Lets begin. Waiting for alfred and brenda to arrive. They're flight got delayed. Can you guess why? Well..it wasn't the weather...nor mechanical problems. the fact is they couldn't find a pilot. Can you imagine if you heard over the loud speaker "Ladies and Gentlemen, we will have you on your way as soon as we find a pilot to take you back to California." I heard it...so i do believe it. Alf was supposed to call when he boarded. I haven't heard from him..but guessing he must have gotten on.

-posted unfinished due to crazy day at work. Picked up alfred at 2am due to some weird delays in Flordia. Fill you in later.

ah...so tired. Only 3 days of work this week..and looking forward to the vacation. Having mixed feelings about AX as well. Anyways...lot of things to do at work before i can worry about that. Course..i do want to go see the LACMA King Tut exhibit as well.

Day Recap
Push-ups: 0
Sit-ups: 0
Activity: Going away dinner for Andrew
Reading: Phantom Menace - The pod race

Hot days of summer..

Today I attended the company party. After a short lunch of chicken bites and a sandwich, we played a modified game of softball. After the picnic, we actually crashed this other company's party and played Pugil sticks battles. Yeah..kick ass. I lasted pretty long till some dude came and knocked me down 3 times. I'll prob post a pic when i get it from my coworker.
After the party, headed back home and made dinner with Karen. It was nice and relaxing just doing things together. Called over my aunts and cousins to eat and ended up playing texas hold'em with Rozelle, Tony, and Andrew.

Day Recap
Sit-ups: 0
Push-ups: 0
Activity: Softball at the company picnic
Reading: Phantom Menace - War in Naboo

DDR at a wedding. Nuff said. All in all a long day. Did see a roadrunner though...beep beep.

Day Recap
Sit-ups: 0
Push-ups: 0
Activity: Wedding in Palm Springs and shopping in Cabazon
Reading: 0

Yeah its friday! Glad the weekend is finally here..but its a busy weekend ahead. I'm sitting at home in Cerritos right now. I need to bring cube to the groomer tomorrow at 7am...in order for me to get him out sooner. I need to get him before noon, since i'm going to attend a wedding in Palm Springs at 1pm. Seems like its gonna to be a busy day. On sunday, i've got the company picnic so busy busy busy...

Day Recap
Sit-ups: 0
Push-ups: 0
Activity: Chocolate Chip pancakes with Mantha
Reading: Phantom Menace disk 3 - Intro Queen Amidala

Today just seemed to go... Woke up late cuz its getting warmer and i just didn't want to get up. Tried to take care of things at work..but just wasn't motivated. Got some great news from my coworker in Boston that really made me happy. Was able to pull away and watch the NBA final game with a coworker. Good game..but wasn't really into it. Anyways, its friday..and quite a bit of stuff planned for the weekend. Nite ended with short chat with my homie Rando. The way i make friends is pretty easy. The ones that are dear to my heart are few. Those stays...no matter what.

And yes...More guest for PMX. The girl group has come really cool tracks. Check out their myspace.com site. I've also seen thee out mods at the Roxy and they were good.






Day recap
Sit-ups: 20
Push-ups: 20
Activity: Watching the game
Reading: Phantom Menace - Disk 2. Into Jar jar binks. Misa aarrgg.

Humm...did a lot of writing today..and pmx stuff. I'll write about the pmx stuff tomorrow.

Anyways...after reading Anny's blog yesterday..i was moved to write...but didn't actually get pushed to actually writing it till after reading the comments. I'm just going to copy it here for ur reading pleasure. Actually felt like AP US History and given a writing prompt.

Day Recap
Sit-ups: 0
Push-ups: 0
Activity: Sat/slept thru Karen's Art history class (interesting class..i was just tired)
Reading: Actually...listening to The Phantom Menace - book on CD thanks to Rozelle.

---------------------------

It is more important that innocence be protected than it is that guilt be punished, for guilt and crimes are so frequent in this world that they cannot all be punished. But if innocence itself is brought to the bar and condemned, perhaps to die, then the citizen will say, "whether I do good or whether I do evil is immaterial, for innocence itself is no protection," and if such an idea as that were to take hold in the mind of the citizen, that would be the end of security whatsoever.
- John Adams

--my comment

humm..lets chat on this.

while i agree with Adams' statement and the sentiment rings true, i do feel our justice system is out of control. You have convicted murderers and molesters on death row for years and years..living in comfortable cells with pillows, blankets and cable tv. Three meals a day plus a library and workout facility all paid for by our taxes. Just outside those facilites, you find war vets, single moms, and struggling families living in cardboard boxes or poor housing struggling to eat.

i'm not necessarily saying the death penalty is the answer...but i feel its our lack of quick enforcement of our own set of rules that create the problem. Look at Singapore. Canings for vandalism (link below). I'm sure that kid would think quite a bit about doing that again. He's still alive...and i'm sure he got the message. And even if they were entirely wrong on caning him, i'm sure the actual act prevented many other kids from ever vandalising anything.

Americans are even afraid to do any sort of corporal punishment to their own children for fear of child abuse allegations. Hey...didn't stop my parents*..and i think i turned out ok.

Anyways..i also would not want an innocent person punished. Its obviously not right. We do however have to stop this lagging criminal system that allows actual guilty people to delay their punishment and further allows others to engage in similar acts.

we all drive over the speed limit (sorry for the generalized statement)...if they dont' stop us...wouldn't you still..and even caught...we tend to do it anyways.If we got jailtime or a caning for excessive driving, i'm sure we'd all be driving miss daisy style.

On a more "extreme*" note...i say we put them (convicted guilty) all on an island and let them fend for themselves (battle royale style). Either that or in the words of a t-shirt i've seen "kill 'em all and let god sort em* out"

(gets off soapbox)
http://www.corpun.com/sgju9404.htm

*later edit to make more sense.

Dropped off Alfred and Brenda at the airport this morning. Hope they enjoy the week, even thought storms are in the week forcast. Got to the office on time and that day went at a moderate pace. Got a lot of PMX stuff done and hoping to do more this week. Still tired at work, but learned from Carlo about Curry House's anniversary sale. Katsu curry for $5. Asked Mantha is she wanted to go dinner and ended up driving to OC to get some food. Dinner with Mila and a take out box for Sam....this was a full day. Now time to rest my heavy eyes, cuz i have a morning work call at 8am.

Day Recap
Sit-ups: 0 / edit 20
Push-ups: 0 / edit 20
Activity: curry house and bought pillows
Reading: Hollywood Life - magazine.

Hitting the gym with Andy...following it up with King Taco with alfred...today was a good day. Getting the laundry done and soon going to fill the dresser. Got an early morning tomorrow so i'll hit the sack early.

Day Recap
Sit-ups: 0
Push-ups: 0
Activity: Running
Reading: looking at gardening pics.

Happy Father's day Dad.
Spent the day with Dad and Louis at Universal Studios. It was a great day. Weather was nice and the whole day went well. Been spending a lot of time bonding with dad and i do appreciate those times together. Ended the evening with the family at Dad's favorite restaurant - The Outback.
But now its over..and time for another week of work =/.

Day Recap
Sit-ups: 20
Push-ups: 20
Activity: Universal Studios
Reading: 0

Yawn...so sleepy.
Haven't had much time to write in these journals namely cuz i'm happily keeping myself busy with things. Today was restful...with great visits by friends throughout the day. First it was lunch with Martin, Ed and Ghen. Soon after Justin and Mel came by on their way to Irvine. Didn't get a chance to meet up with them this evening cuz met up with Rico and Alfred to finally watch Batman Begins. Met some of Brenda's friends, one of who "recognized" me cuz she is a member of APO in Riverside. It was nice and made me remember the times that i gave to that organization and the great people in it. Who knows, maybe in time i'll find myself helping again.

Day Recap
Push-ups: 0
Sit-ups: 0
Activity: Batman Begins
Reading: 0

Running errands at ikea with hilarity at Food for Less. Could life get any better?

Day Recap
Sit-ups: 0
Push-ups: 0
Activity: gonna build my dresser
Reading: Ikea directions.

So u want to be an Imagineer?
Today was a busy morning that ended a nice dinner with my sis and coworker. Rather tired right now...so I'll fill you in tomorrow. Oh yeah...there was an earthquake in the afternoon too =p. Gotta love LA.

Day Recap
Sit-ups: 0
Push-ups: 0
Activity: Dinner with Sam and Gladys.
Reading: more gardening books. Prep for this weekend.

When it seems like the world is going in circles, its always nice to have a friend there just to listen. Thanks Mark.

Day Recap
Sit-ups: 20
Push-ups: 20
Activity: Family dinner
Reading: Zen Garden

Ended up taking the day off work today to do some unfortunate car repair. Stupid pot hole on my street finally killed my left suspension. Anyways, that early morning start gave me the chance to do a number of things today.
1. Fix car suspension
2. Get 60,000 mile tune up (can u believe my car is 250,000 miles!!..geez)
3. Lunch with my sister and walking the mall.
4. Dental appt for teeth cleaning
5. Cool speaker series at Disney with some Imagineers
6. Watched Madagascar

ok...its late and work tomorrow.

Day Recap
Sit-ups: 0
Push-ups: 0
Activity: Lots - See above
Reading: almost done with Zen garden book. Good ideas.

Time to think...
..actually bored off my ass. Been really quiet at work and would rather be at home doing something productive.
The last few posts have been short mainly because

1. My internet connection went down this weekend...and spent much time to bring it back up.

2. Dad and I were gonna work on projects around the house...but oddly enought everytime he comes over..we re-work the plan and end up not doing it. Instead we went to Ikea and Outback. (hmmmm....outback special).

3. When i posted those updates..i was tired. Long busy days.

Anyways...now i have time to update.

a) Trying to read up on these Zen gardens...and hoping that if i go with it my house doesn't become the neighborhood kitty litter.

b) Played Texas Hold'em for the first time with my cousins and Tony and his cousins. Never played before but definately fun learning it.

c) Watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Cool movie...and u can definately see the chemistry there. Angelina is HOTTT.


Day Recap
Sit-ups: 0
Push-ups: 0
Activity: Raked and leveled yard, terminated ants around the house, set up ultimate tv wire =p
Reading:probably a garden book. Its actually starting to come out ok.

Garage sale is over..and i think i picked up most of the stuff. Funny thing happens when my dad comes over to help me work on a project...overall though today was just kick back.

Day Recap
Sit-ups: 0
Push-ups: 0
Activity: shopping at IKEA
Reading: Books on Japanese Zen Gardens (thanks rozelle)

much to write about..besides having internet widthdrawals this afternoon. Still need to fix it a bit..so i'll possibly write later.

Day Recap
Sit-ups: 0
Push-ups: 0
Activity: PMX meeting, Yard Sale and watching Mr. and Mrs. Smith (Good movie)
Reading: nothing right now.

Went clubbing with coworkers in Hollywood tonite *CLUB SHELTER*. The experience was so so...just cool hanging with friends. Surrounded by pretentious people and gawkers made me realize more how much i love people who are real and true. Just be yourself...not what you think people want you to be. So what if i looked foolish dancing by myself most of the nite (wasn't able to get a wing girl)....i didn't care really. For the most part it was just a fun nite with friends. (and a lot of cigarette smoke)*cough*

Day Recap
Sit-ups: 0
Push-ups: 0 (mostly been warming up the shoulders)
Activity: Clubbing
Reading: Gonna sleep - Yard Sale tomorrow.

the day just dragged today. When i woke up this morning, i just want to stay in bed. Lunch took forever and eventually i was able to leave work. I did get to go to the open house and it was fun. Lots of little kids and a bunch of fun activities (balloons, tug-of-war, face painting) Left a bit early but was able to finally clean up my front lawn a bit. Got a call from Martin and reminded my how i'm not alone...and how my friends are always there for me. (that and i actually talked with my lil sib enida and katrina from UCR that afternoon as well).

I need to work on my spiders.
.

Day Recap
Sit-ups: 0
Push-ups: 0
Activity: Open house and cleaning up the yard
Reading: Real Estate book (last nite too...holding off on hobbit adventures)

skipped hip hop class and instead went to dinner with family. Probably a good thing with the shoulder pain. Definately gonna start warm up and stretches before getting into exercise (even pushups). Funny...since i hardly prep for much. Guess i always thought it was a waste of time. Even doing 1st, 2nd drafts of papers...hated that. I tended to do my papers the day or usually nite before and pulled it off in time. Guess i work better under pressure. I wouldn't say i rushed into things...since i usually approach everything with caution and worry...but some things i just went with.
Well..gonna hang out with some elementary school kids tomorrow nite with my friend Susan. She teaches at a school near my house. Hopefully get to do some face painting =). That will be fun.
Oh yeah..my good news. Got a call about the TV..and finished the Hobbit. My aunt and I figured out the best way to arrange my bedroom as well. Things are going well. =)

Day Recap
Sit-ups: 0
Push-Ups: 0
Activity: Dinner with family.
Reading: The Fellowship of the Ring

My shoulder hurts. I remember as a child how "cool" i was when i would swing my right arm in a clockwise fashion real quick. I think those times have caught up with me. I remember about a year ago i strained my right shoulder during the office move..and found that i actually had a case of bursitis. Well...painful as it is..least it wasn't a torn rotator cuff. I'm going to start stretching..and alternate the workout each day (in fact rest every so often).

Skipped the gym today so i could rest and work on the network. Figured out how i wanted my room, so hopefully i can get some help to move the bed.

Day Recap
Sit-ups: 0
Push-Ups: 0
Activity: Angie's bday gathering at Lucky Baldwins.
Reading: The Hobbit - hopefully finishing it tonite.

Quite a busy day. Woke up to do more moving to storage (with alfred, tony and even John) and afterwards made it to work. While i was there decided to keep on this workout mode and try to make it to the gym. Knowing that i never make it out from work at any stable time, I figured that the best thing for me to do is to go in the afternoon as my lunch break. So today i spent a good 30 minutes on the treadmill running at various speeds--and walking at times. Gave me the sensation of playing soccer again. (I need to update my mp3 selection or download movies in english.) After that got back to work and continued to work till i went to a coworkers place to watch the Heat lose =/. Oh well... I think i've found a new player to follow in Dwayne Wade...and definately hoping the Heat go far next year.

Day Recap
Sit-ups: 40
Push-Ups: 40
Activity: Afternoon Gym and Pistons-Heat game.
Reading: The Hobbit

First nite on the new bed not too bad. Still thinking of how i want to arrange everything. Need to start updating the workout schedule, so gonna try for afternoon gym visits and no more late nite eating. Watched Alfred's game today..so hoping to get back into Basketball as well. Their team kicked ass...really good game. Spent the rest of the afternoon with my dad and just had some quality time. Granted that was sleeping thru Star Wars 3...but yeah..it was good.

Day Recap
Sit-ups: 40
Push-Ups: 40
Activity: Movie with Dad.
Reading: The Hobbit

Too tired to really say something tonite. Its been a long day, but needless to say...lots of stuff done in the house. Planters were cleared out, lawn was sprayed with grass killer, Bedroom set was delivered (still short a sofa table), hours at Home Depot...ending with a fundraiser for Asian Women and finally a visit to the 24 hour walmart with Alfred and Brenda (for bedsheets). Time to test the new bed. =)

Day Recap
Sit-ups: 0 /edit - 20
Push-ups: 0/edit - 20
Activity: Yardwork and lifting aunts boxes.

This post is dedicated to my Auntie Poyche. She's been a good friend and confidant for me since my move back to Monterey Park, especially since she lives just across the street. Many times i come home and join her for dinner or she comes over to watch movies. Through it all she (as well as my other aunt and cousins near by in Montebello) reminds me of the family feelings i had growing up on this block. Well...thanks to my aunt and her powers of persuation, the furniture i ordered in the beginning of May will hopefully/finally get delievered tomorrow. The store said two weeks, but kept getting delayed. My aunt asked is she could call...and next thing you know, we have a delievery time for 12-3pm. That plus the fact she helped me put up my framed art yesterday and helped clean up some of the planters make me realize how lucky i am.

Day Recap
Sit-ups: 20
Push-ups: 20
Activity: Golf at the Driving Range and even Tennis in one nite...with coworkers.

The song for class last nite was "Dont cha" and don't cha believe that the warm up stretches were killing me. I think i did better with the 50 Cent song...but abs are definately hurting this morning. Most of the day was prepping for my big music announcement. For those that don't know i'm the Division Head for Music at Pacfic Media Expo. Its a convention designed to celebrate asian and asian american media and culture (including pop culture). Anyways, I was brought in to help organize the music division. In this experience, I've also expanded my appreciation for music...specifically live music. My announcement today...the first two bands for the concerts.





I actually met the lead guitarist (Carlo) at a Tsunami Victims benefit concert (that he organized) and we've been good friends since then. To use an APO phrase...we became fast friends. Its funny how his girlfriend and my friend Sam clicked even better than we did. Anyways, he's a center piece of both bands...and watching him play (as well as other live acts) have actually been a nice change from the radio. Sometimes i can't tell if its a 50 cent song, or the Game...or 50 and the Game...or why i hear their songs all the time. Well..he's offered to give me guitar lessons...so we'll see. Right now i think i'll start with keyboard/piano. We've joked that we may start a R&B band...or something i can sing to =p.
Oh well..wrote a lot. I'll save the rest for tomorrow.

Day Recap
Sit-ups: 20
Push-ups: 20
Activity: Watching Blade 3 with Alfred. Hanging framed art in living room.

Sometimes you just got to go with what you feel...

Welcome June and somewhat return to the world of blogging. In this past hiatus...i haven't buried myself too deep into my hole...but i did have a lot to think about. Its unfortunate how i tend to rely too much on this website to keep my communication lines open. It works for the most part...but i've been lacking on the person to person touch.

Anyways...trying to get off my ass and get things done. Trying to experience life more, rather than sitting in front of the TV or computer too much. Got quite a few things done..which i will announce later. Trying to do at least one physical activity each day...to keep life interesting. I'll prob log it each day here...with some sort of thought for the day.

As far as the title...it relates to my recent perspective on life and actually my new activity for Wednesdays. I decided to join a group of my coworkers in a hip hop class, taught at his apartment complex. Last week was 50 Cent - "Just a lil bit". While the class was taught based on counts...i found it easier to follow based on the lyrics of the song...and matching it according to that. It was fun...just going with flow. Not being too serious about it..my coworkers and I just did our best to follow and enjoy learning the moves (geez...headrolls and drop it like its hot). I've hesitated a number of times in my life..and its cost me at times...but now i'm just gonna stop stressing about things and see where it leads me.

Along those lines, Thanks to everyone that came out to celebrate my birthday with me (friday nites party and family picnic on Sat). I've had quite a number of events that were just relaxing with good people (Nick's bbq, Brenda's bday and Universal Studios with Alfred and Brenda) . Thanks all for those times. Congrats as well to my brother and sister for making thru Fanime Con. Good Luck Nick in Iraq.

Day Recap
push ups: 20
sit ups: 20
activity: Hip Hop dance class.

We finally spoke to each other...and a real conversation....least its a start. I find myself in the inverse of my first relationship....this time i have lost myself.

elephant love...how appropriate.

goodbye 29....hello 30.
good times last nite with good friends.
Spending today with good family.
I truly am lucky.

Its been a year....

Early this May...i acknowledge a year of ownership of my house. Some minor changes (home audio system, hammock, punching bag). Some major changes (Replacement of half the windows, washing machine/dryer, roommate and now non-roommate). Major neglect in the landscaping area...and my clothes still look like they are on sale at a flea market. House seems to be much like me...still a work in progress...still finding its design.

Looking at my goals...haven't really accomplished much.

1. I will wake up early (defined at at least 7am). - Still waking up like 8:30-9- sometimes 10am.
2. I will restart my exercise program (well..start should be a better word) - I stretched today..now my knee hurts - geez
3. I will have my house in a presentable state by my birthday/anniversary of house purchase (May 2005) - Not gonna happen. Maybe i'll be in better position next year to celebrate.
4. I will focus more at work and get things in order there. - Almost there. 75%
5. I will find a way to afford my house. - Still working on that.
6. I will set up my personal website (thanks to help from clint) - developed more skills, but no site yet.
7. I will take my dermatology medication - about 75%
8. I will find time to have my coco pebbles in the morning. - I finished 4 boxes.
9. I will have a japanese bathhouse style bathroom. - Future goal. Work on current house first.
10. I will have time to just sit...and stare...and just breathe. - Someday...

Finally bought a bedroom set, so no more 3 for $10 shirts on the floor.

*muted*

Even the best fall down sometimes

Even the wrong words seem to ryhme

Out of the doubt that fills your mind

You finally find

You and I collide

Howie Day - Collide

Ironic how this provided the perfect theme music to reading her blog. I love the way music at times can so easily express your feelings, when words fail to do the task.

I took the day off work yesterday and took stock of my life. I visited my grandmother, who i haven't seen in over a few years now. Surprisingly i knew exactly how to get there...even past the triumphant palm trees that mark her street at Rose Hills. As i kneeled there looking at her headstone... i just calmed myself...and took it all in. Death....life.... thousands of markers surrounding me...last reminders of people's lives. My grandmother was an extraordinary woman. Raising her family, transplanting to the US, caring for me as a child. She smelled of coffee and rice (i swear i think that was her favorite)...and always with a "toospic" in her mouth. Everytime the ice cream man drove down the street...i would rush to her for a dollar to get candy or a glider...and she always gave me one. Every afternoon from school, we would always have merienda...always something tasty to eat. She taught me tagalog..without any word of english. She taught me to manong..and respect my elders. She taught me the importance of family...all of us in that house...all happily together.

I then walked to my uncle Al. I remembered how he would always visit us at Monterey Park. His "miho/miha" whenever he would see us. I remember how he looked after me after my first communion and how we all had brunch together. I remember many times that he asked me to look out for his kids. I promised i would...and want to keep that promise.

Then i went to visit my auntie Phine. I never really knew my aunt and uncle....but i see them..in there son john. He lives with my aunt across the street. "Beloved wife an mother...who's joy in life was making others happy." - adorns her headstone. I don't doubt it. I'm very proud of John. My aunt and I joined him at Holy Thursday mass yesterday..which is prob the first time i've done that in quite a number of years. He and his girlfriend will be going throught confirmation on Holy Saturday, completing his christian training.

After mass i tried my first hand at cooking something creative. Chicken and mushroom over spaghetti. My aunt and John both said it was tasty..but i think they are biased. We sat and watched Garden State.

I'm glad i was able to take the time away to just collect my thoughts and simply breathe. There are many things on my mind right now...things that people need to figure out....family away in the Philippines...issues with AX...tasks with PMX....and top that all off with work. But when you look at those headstones...you have to think....is it all really worth it. I walked past soldiers of WWII and korea....mothers.....fathers.....sons...daughters. Each made a contribution in their life..and to the world around them. We may not all see it...but it was important in their experience. Guess like they said in Garden State....its just life...and its all that we have. Appreciate it while you have it...and effect your own level of change. In anyway...just sit and admire the beauty that is around you.

-excelsior

i heart you

girl: hmm.. let's see...
girl: young man in his late 20s with a house and a stable job.
girl: educated.. bilingual...
girl: independent...
girl: tall...
girl: so what's the problem?
ray: (white and handsome)
ray: ur missing out on the best part hunny
ray: =p

yeah...so i don't know what the problem is.

Simple equal Simpleton?

Maybe its rap music or too much TV =p....but i've come to really question my own level of intelligence. I guess i've been taking it too easy lately. One of the factors for this questioning occured when i was home one weekend. I told my father that the vet indicated that cube needed to get spayed...in which my sister quickly corrected me saying...."you mean neutered...not spayed". Part of me thought...what is the difference...both terms identify the same thing...where for cats is spaying and dogs its neutering. The end result is to make them biologically incapable of reproducing. My word choice was not a big deal to me, for i knew that my father as well as my sister knew exactly what i meant. Of course, it would be a big difference for cube =p.

Thing is...i've really let myself go. I guess i could ask...when have i even tried?

Throughout my life...things have been "given/handed" to me. My parents provided for our family and did whatever they could for us children. Education was something my parents valued and they felt they sent us to the best schools (crazy how schools are lately). I took AP courses...and also had 2 years of "office Aid". My most challenging class....humm....maybe History. Least i liked the subject and the teacher pushed me. Course that was the only AP test i got a 4 on.

Even when i applied to High school and eventually college...i didn't even worry if i was going ot make it or not. I tried for 4 UCs..and got into the 3 i expected...not UCLA but wasn't expecting that anyways (come on..UCLA as a bio major at the time-almost impossible). I've lived in a little bubble...keeping myself afloat...and staying on top without much effort. I'm watching March Madness lately just to see a good basketball game...but i have no clue where these schools are or what their challenges are. I hardly read in college and was able to pull multipage papers last minute, but it wasn't crap work...i just work well under pressure. I can pull out concepts..without focusing on details. I can still explain Glycolosis to you...but i don't know the names of each enzyme.

Personally..i dont believe there is anything i can't accomplish. I was faced with a significant charge to mow/clean the overgrown lawn in the backyard...but instead worked for 4 hours clearing out the area. I somehow figured out and saved enough to buy myself a home at age 28. I have a good job..supportive family...and friends all around. It is a good life...and i'm happy in it...but could there be more.

i find i am capable of inspiring people. Its not that they want to be like me...but more so that when i talk to them..they want to be better people themselves. Thing now is...how can I inspire myself. What do i have to do to challenge myself?

I have become stagnate. I've accepted myself and kept to this idea of life. Ambitions, desires, wants are at a lull. I'm "happy" with what i have. It leads to a life of contentment...or does it really? If i was content...why would i be writing about changing things...or wanting something different...or more.

I've become too tied down to the material things around me. I've forgotten the people that love me and are around me. I have cousins, neices, nephews that i don't even know of...and at times even the ones that are minutes away from me. I can tell you what happens in a I Love Lucy episode, but not know who the Secretary of defense is. I can give you an opinion on most things..but i don't feel as if i am a whole person. My life has become the ugly cycle of work, home, sleep.

The final days of Febuary had a number of life changing events for me. It inspired me to really look at myself and change things that i didn't like. That desire to change hasn't stopped...but has now expanded. I've listed my Goals on the side...i think i need to add somemore. I want to work towards something. Even if i can't figure out what yet...i want that challenge. I want to better myself. I've gone too long being simple...that i have become a simpleton.

Edit - I have to start focusing on even my language. I'll try to stay away from AOL shorthand.

Pub Crawl in Old Town Pasadena this St. Patty's day (Thur).
contact me if your interested.



yeah..i'll blog again soon...but had to get that announcement out =p

ok...so the 7am wake up call isn't going as planned. More like 9am actually. I blame that on the electric blanket...humm....warrm.

anyways things have been going well. I feel very accomplished as i have replaced my cardboard box filing system (just throw it in the box technique) with a new file cabinet (throw them in folders now) after 3 nites of sorting. Taxes are done and mailed away...and even decided on a bedroom set thanks to ikea (see wishlist on left column). Been stretching out on the exercise ball a bit...but need to hit that gym. Also need to determine how much sleep i actually need per nite.

Getting more comfortable with my role at PMX. Meeting some cool people and starting to feel more comfortable as Division head. Actually met this one guy who is willing to teach me how to play guitar. =) Just glad things are getting more organized and i'm looking forward to just have fun that weekend.

Fixing up the blog with some of my frequent sites (shopping, community, etc). Most of my wish list is just for me to keep track of what i want to do with my room. Prob end up buying it myself anyways. Kinda cool all the things u can find online.

I'd rather be outside...should get out and enjoy that more. Excited and anxious since Karen is coming back this month. Our relationship has definately been a rollercoaster so far... through it all...i know i love her....and i am thankful for what she has done in my life.....and we'll have to see where we go from here.

The end of Feburary came with a lot of changes..and a lot to think about. I took a hard look at myself and the people around me. It wasn't all pretty thats for sure...and nothing is ever easy. Anyways...i just plan on taking things day by day and hope for the best.

On a good note, my aunt has come back from the Philippines. We had a nice improptu get together over chicken and shrimp cocktail. I've missed her for sometime now...and its good to have her back. All my cousins came over to welcome her back. Also, my other aunt and cousins are heading to the Philippines to visit family and attend my cousin Zandy's wedding. Even my friend Mark is going back for 2 weeks. Everyone seems to be going back and forth. One of these days i'll get back there as well.

I need to get out too. Gonna go ice skating today...that should be fun. A jrock concert set for Sat nite at the ROXY. Also heading home to see the family and cube. Too bad cube's going for shots...he's not gonna want to see me after that one.

Reclaiming my life

I used to joke about how busy i am at work...and really how busy could i be (sarcastic). Sitting in a climate controlled building, in my cube...chatting on AIM most of the day. (Steve would kill me right now).

But lately...*shakes head*...Damn. Long hours...communicating with people on the other side of the world (Asia-Pacific)...late nites.... I really haven't been able to do much for myself. I've been wanting to do this...or that...or this...and the list goes on...but nothing being done.

Its not just work either...getting myself more involved in PMX stuff....and pmx related stuff....and house stuff.....but seriously..is there only 24 hours in a day???

Anyways...its gotta stop. Since i can't reclaim my nites due to work and outside activities...i'll have to take control of my days. I mean come on..u can only sleep so much right?

Personal affirmations/goals:

1. I will wake up early (defined at at least 7am).
2. I will restart my exercise program (well..start should be a better word)
3. I will have my house in a presentable state by my birthday/anniversary of house purchase (May 2005)
4. I will focus more at work and get things in order there.
5. I will find a way to afford my house.
6. I will set up my personal website (thanks to help from clint)
7. I will take my dermatology medication
8. I will find time to have my coco pebbles in the morning.
9. I will have a japanese bathhouse style bathroom.
10. I will have time to just sit...and stare...and just breathe.

Along those lines i'll be attending a Filipino American Network meeting/socal tonite. I remember in college i was heavily into my asian heritage and background...especially being filipino. I think this will be a nice return to reclaiming myself.

Mabuhay*

*yeah..thought it was mainly used for hello as well. But actually like "aloha" can mean many things. Not as much as dude though.

Happy birthday Karen.

Happy Valentines Day Karen.

Trying to zone out...

Thought things were ok....well...they have sorta settled. just feeling in quite a meloncoly mood today. Haven't done much at work yet...just feeling trapped being here. Now i have my music turned up really loud...trying to blank out the world. I really think i need to get my mp3 player and disappear for a little bit.

Trying to look forward to the weekend..but realizing i have much more to do than i want to. I really need to kill some of my open issues. Hope that will make me feel better.

Sad thing...my disneyland annual pass will expire on the 15th. I made such a big deal about getting one...but didn't get to use it as much as i wanted to... (well..just didnt' get to go out with my family there as much as i wanted to). It was nice when all of us would go out there...but now just seems that everyone is so busy.

i need a vacation. I need to leave the country for a little bit. ....right now not even sure where i want to go..just away.

Shaken...and stirred.

Today's convo.

karen: what's wrong honey?
ray: i don't know...maybe i just need to get away
karen: ray, how are you feeling?
ray: quandry
ray: oh..excuse me...quandary
ray: http://dictionary.reference.com/search?r=2&q=quandary
ray: funny how the sound of the word alone its a good indication of how one feels
ray: when they are in a quandary..
ray: get the sensation your stuck in a large maze
ray: with nothing but walls around
ray: you know there is a way out..
ray: but just just starting at the walls
ray: starts driving you insane
ray: mine are gunmetal grey
ray: and they are prob 50 ft high
ray: its kinda unfortunate that i can't even have a normal mental break-down
ray: instead i just tend to ramble..and go all over
ray: and i'm still too fucking responsible to leave now
ray: but have to clean up problems here and there

--yup...that was my day. I'm still alive...so guess it turned out ok. I'm heading home.

Ahh..yes...this week is almost over.

I'll probably write about this more later..when i feel somewhat rested...but i'm definately glad that this week is almost over. I actually thought it would be fairly uneventful being up here, helping out here and there, and hopefully visiting friends. Unfortunately i actually found myself working longer hours here than even down south and missing out on visiting my bro. I'm glad Justin and Feras were able to stop by and visit, namely cuz i could bearly leave the mountain view/Palo Alto area.
The people in the office were mostly nice. The hotel sucked (can't believe i thought free interent was my deciding factor..when every fricken hotel in Silicon Valley has free internet). Well...almost done. Time to get to home..in my own bed...and catch up on my life.
My one joy...the green tea and chocolate mochi ice cream i bought. Yum..

*sigh*

its been a long few days. Last nite i at least got some rest...but this trip has been fairly busy. I just came back from visiting the other office in Norcal. Not sure why, but just feeling drained.

I thought it would be good, hitting up norcal again and visiting with friends. Still looking to meet up with some of them and possibly will. For the most part though..its just work in a different location. San Jose is nice...the weather is good right now. I feel a little out of place since i don't have my "stuff" with me...the problems of being traveling IT and not having all your tools.

Anyways..i just needed a lil mental break...to write down my thoughts. Hopefully i'll get to finish off most of this stuff before i leave friday.

am i going..am i not.....well..i am.

Ended off the week really good. The project i had finished. (we'll have to see on Monday to make sure its all good). Thankful for my friends for sticking around with me while i was there.
I woke up the next morning heading to Long Beach to meet with Kevin and checking out the venue. Was pretty productive and nice to see how the surrounding area has been revitalized. Rather weird walking around the city. I actually wanted to visit the old mall..where much of my childhood was spent.

Sunday I'll be heading to Asian American Expo. Should be interesting as well.

But as far as the going or not going...well...i'll be in Norcal next week. There were question on if i was actually gonna head up there or not, but yeah I'm gonna help out at the San Jose branch of the company. Already looking to catch up with biggwould. I'll figure out what i have to do first...but it will be nice to see norcal again.

guess all the good things had to catch up to me.

Its now about 1.40am Sat morning. I had a project to do at work today..then things became crazy. My boss told me to fly to Norcal next week to help out at an office. Course..i find out today, so i have to rush and get everything together. In addition to that, i had an overnite job (hence why i'm still here) scheduled to upgrade our server. Oddly enough i'm not very tired/sleepy. I find that i can tend to work well..even after a long day...if the pressure is on. (guess that explains AX).

Well..fortunately..i think this project will be done soon. Therefore i can head home and work on other things. geez. More work to do there too.

honestly..i do love my job. Its got its ups and downs...but for the most part..its good.

nite all

ray
i heart karen.

The Jerry Maguire moment.

I woke up this morning feeling pretty good. After an accomplished day of 3 hours of grocery shopping (i know i take forever) and a couple other stops, I woke up feeling great. Got dressed...looking pretty good...then...it happened. I realized in all this goodness..i was missing something...
i was missing Karen.

Things are going well. Relationship is well. Taking care of things at work and at home. Althought i have a busy weekend planned, hoping to pull some time to really work on things. Hoping to get the 3rd room established soon.

hello all...

things are going well here. I'm feeling very accomplished at work now that i've taken care of a number of tasks...and even at home things are getting done. I struggled with a computer problem for days on end..only to realize the solution was right in front of me. At times you just need to take a step back.

Things between Karen and I are going well. I just love her soo much. Every relationship has its trials...its the strength of it that will hopefully see us thru it all. I even got to help her classmates with their computer problems. Yeah! brownie points for me.

Kicking PMX stuff into gear as well. Got a busy weekend of visiting...and looking to start the ball rolling on some things. Lots to do..lots to do...guess keeping busy helps keep me happy.

Football Sunday after a trip to Oregon.

Today I was able to actually sit back and just spend personal time. It started after a fun evening in SD celebrating Donny's not so leaving us for Oregon...which was actually a surprise birthday party for Jojo and Dao. It was great seeing everyone again. Party started at Canes by the beach..and ended at Moondoggies and PB Bar and grill. The dance floor at PB still stinks (literally..like a locker room)...but the music was cool and i had fun dancing. Had good converstion with Clara about relationships and careers. I even found Leah (Rho rho founder) on the dance floor of PB Bar and Grill. Well..eventually left for home and a reminder to drive safely from CHP..but finally got home to MPK.

I went home cuz i wanted to clean some stuff around the house. Woke up and walked to Shakas to get the Sunday paper. Heated up some lunch and talked to Karen while watching the Falcons beat the Ravens. After that actually got outside like i wanted to and pulled up a trashcan full of weeds and growth. I really need to decide how i want the landscaping to work, so probably going to talk to the gardener. I've never liked doing lawn work, but it did feel different having to do your own lawn. Actually felt good getting dirty and pulling out those suckers. Now gotta visit Home depot and nuke my lawn of weeds and ants.

Summer like weather is here. Its sunny and nice. Time to take care of things again (least those things i do have control of).

BTW. The patriots just beat the Steelers. Its gonna be a good Super Bowl Game. I know my office is happy to see the Pats at the Big game again.

Yeah its friday...too bad there is no rest to be seen yet =/

I didn't have too much to do at work today, although i did have to be in the office 2.5 hours earlier than normal to set up a video conference. I've been doing quite a bit of hours lately...i think i need a personal day. Either way i did get a lot of other stuff done as well.

I thought i might go drinking, to wish my coworker congratulations on getting into MBA school. I decided to pass on that since i was so tired from the early morning and looked forward to playing some bball with Clint and Kenta. While chatting with Kelly before heading down, we decided it'd be cool for her to come out too and ball up...just like old times with the Rho Rho founding class. man..i miss those days...and those people.

So..high tailed it out of work at around 5 to get stuck in mandatory friday traffic. It really wasn't that bad. I got to cerritos from pasadena at about 6.20. I know this cuz i met with my PMX concert coordinator at that time to do some planning. Dropped off the paperwork and headed on down. Instead of getting lost somewhere near campus, I luckily got a call from Kelly so decided to meet up at her apt. Unfortunately, due to miscommunication (or the guys were afraid Kelly would beat their ass in basketball- her words), i missed catching Clint and Kenta. Sucks...all decked out to ball up...and no one to play with. Well..decided i'd continue on with the original plan and try to meet Kevin at Guppy Tea House. Kelly wanted to come along so we headed out. Setback #2 - Kevin doesnt' pick up his phone. We make it to Cerritos, but since he never calls, we go get somethign to eat and instead get our basketball fix by watching Coach Carter. Movie was "ok"...but definately made us want to play bball more. Anyways..after that, i headed home.
Got to see Sam and Mila before they watched their movie, had good talks with Kevin and Kelly, but missed out on Bball and clint...so i guess it wasn't too bad a nite.

Anyways...now time to crash. Got haircut for tomorrow as well as heading down to SD.

btw - I love my Karen =) too bad she was sleeping and i couldn't talk to her tonite. She's gonna keep me company on my way down to SD.

Wow..
amazing day today. Things got pretty crazy this morning...and surprised i got to pull it all together in the end.

Well...we start with last nite. Things with Karen and i have been sorta rough lately. Honestly i'm not one to put it out here for public consumption...most of the inner turmoil and/or my private life is left off the journal. Basically, like any relationship, there comes the period of questioning and confusion. Fortunately, last nite, we just talked it out. To me it feels its gotten better. We'll just have to see what will happen in the future.

As far as this morning, problems just came on strong. I realized with a recent consolidation of offices in Australia, I had to work double time to get them ready....esp since they are moving in this weekend. Anyways, as i'm working on this, i learn that i'm out of space on the server. I then have to figure out how i'm going to resolve that when the tech for the network connection comes in. Needless to say (esp those not into this techno babble) it was a busy day...but all handled.

Innate sense

Today seems a bit better. I woke up and actually got up. Jumped into the shower and started looking forward to the day. Breaking routine, I felt a sense of emptiness. Regardless i have to push along and see what will come to be. I was fortunate to get things done last nite work wise, so my plate wasn't so bad in the morning.

The previous nite, I headed home after work to help my dad out with his lab. I came home to a happy cubie running up to me. It was good to see him again as well as seeing dad and mantha. Thing about it is i could understand cube...obviously transcending the communication barrier between dog and man, by just looking in his eyes. He hasn't seen me for quite some time..but that in that shared glance...he knew everything.

Sometimes...its just a look. That look in the eyes. You can see everything in that...its some innate sense. You can't explain it...and there really is no logic.

Sometimes you can tell it without even seeing it. Its hearing the cry for help when no word is spoken. Jumping at a chance when everything seems to be against you.

Its a vibe..a feeling...and likely innate for survival instinct. Its something to keep us from harm...its just a question if we want to follow it or not.

Silenced
My heart has been silenced. The is no one to hear the songs anymore. Hopefully I can sing again someday.

Come What May

Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
Want to vanish inside your kiss
Everyday I love you more and more
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time

Come what may, come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you

And there's no mountain too high no river too wide
Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide
But I love you until the end of time

Come what may, come what may
I will love you until my dying day
Oh come what may, come what may
I will love you

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place...

Come what may, come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Quite a weekend so far.

The end of this week has been pretty good and productive. Got this project done at work, albeit the tech showed up last minute. Anyways, things are going well. The weekend has been primarily alchohol filled. Started out on Friday going out to yard house with my coworkers. Its nice ginding time to actually sit and talk, without it haveing to be work related. Ended up topping off a yard of newcastle before heading out to a pub and bar in Old Towne Pasadena. While i was there was able to meet up with some old friends I hadn't seen in quite a while. Overall, successfully made it home safely...and got a few hours sleep.
Saturday morning i got an early wake up call from Jerry as he was my ride to San Deigo and eventually Sea World. While i wasn't expecting much, it was actually fun. This group i've been working with for the past years truly are a family to me....one that i haven't been able to spend much time with lately. While unfortunately that Jerry had to leave early, I did have a first in going to PB and smoking a hooka. Had a lot of fun just chilling and drinking the nite away. Anyways, prob relaxing most of tomorrow...whenever we wake up...and heading back home.

The sun was so nice today. I actually woke up and said "its gonna be a beautiful day"...and that it was. Got to work pretty energized. I really have to say that i do work better in good weather. I was able to take care of most of my tasks and spent the afternoon working on various projects.
Trying to clean up stuff around the house, put the tools away, watch my bit torrent downloads, and catching a pretty funny episode of South Park. Ending my nite writing this post and talking with Karen. Overall a good day...and looking forward to more in the future.

Currently playing yahoo pool with Karen.
So far so good...i'm up 2 games (to zero...but hopefully i can post this before that changes).

Monday my predecessor came back. It wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. For the most part things went ok. Spent a pretty busy morning setting people up, but the day was mostly uneventful. Spent yesterday relaxing...getting stuff done around the house, finishing the family lasagna that i cooked. Thinking about starting to cook myself. I'm planning on getting the sunday paper and coupon cutting..and shopping for groceries next week.

The torrential downpours have finally ended. Today I woke up and it was nice and sunny. If it keeps nice and warm, prob get some housework and stuff done. I'm feeling that things are getting done at work and home...so all is well.

Not sure how this weekend is going. May be in SD for a trip with the VAC crew.
Started buffy season 7 last nite. Such a good series...too bad it had to end.

Ok...till next time.
(Karen won the last one..so its 2-1 now)

the weekend has come to an end..and its had some ups and downs.

First off...its still raining. I had thought about going to CES, but that didn't pan out since it was actually SNOWING in vegas. No biggie.. just felt i'd rather take personal time this weekend. It started with spending time with Karen before she left for school Sat morning. I got home around 5 am, with the understanding that i had to bring the dog to the groomer. I got a 2 hour nap..and that was really good, since after i brought cube to the groomer, i got trapped doing work this weekend. Seems we had a errant email that took down all our email servers. My coworkers and I spent most of Saturday troubleshooting the problem.
I had a craving for CPK bread since friday, so my sister and I had planned on spending the day together and getting a meal there. Unfortunately that email problem and the rainy weather got us trapped at home (well me at least). It was nice though when Ed came over after his meeting and we all went out to the mall (and ate cpk). I haven't talked to Ed in a while, so it was nice to reconnect. I also picked up some soft center candies from See's. I had gotten a gift certificate like 2 years ago..and finally decided to redeem it. It was a good Saturday.

Sunday started pretty well. It was nice when Cube came over and went back to sleep with me. When i woke up again, i found myself alone at home (everyone was at church) and i had to race off the PMX meeting. The meetings haven't really been productive in my opinion, but when i commit to something, i try to live up to what is expected. Ended the meeting with the movie "Meet the Fockers" and finding my car with a dead battery (darn car needs automatic headlights). I'm glad that Jerry was able to stick around and help me jumpstart the car.

For the most part...a pretty good weekend. Now back to the messy house...and need to clean this place up.

OK..close to everyday =p

Its friday...its friday. This week is over and its actually ending pretty good. Had a talk with Karen about where our relationship is heading. Resolved that we're just gonna see how it goes. I love her and there is no question of that...so we're just gonna see where this leads.

Had some good convos with my friends about my job. It was definately a nice moral booster. Whateve even better than that is some of my older friends offering me positions with their companies. I'm glad to see that IT industry is on its way back up..and my skills are still valuable.

In talking with Karen last nite, talked a bit about my level of complacency. Yeah, i can definately say i'm stable and content. Is there a lot more out there for me...i agree...i'm just taking my time in moving forward. Guess i've focused so much of my energies on work and home...but probably worthwhile to investigate other endeavors as well.

I wish for a carefree life. Honestly...i'm driven now for life on a quiet island (i think i'll set myself up to retire there).

So this weather is wreaking havoc on my face. Can't tell if its that or just the cold weather. Either way i feel like my face is peeling away and breaking out all over. It could be stress related...and there are many stressful things i can point to so far.

I've learned that the person i took over for is coming back to my company. Needless to say it feels a bit uneasy. I've been reassured by many that i am doing a good job...but thing is I know i can do better. Having their golden child back in the same office as me is putting me on the defensive...even though he's supposedly no threat to my position. (he's coming in as a economist.) Anyways, its making me ponder some other options as well.

Yesterday was my six month anniversary. Things with Karen have been going good...but it isn't perfect. Every relationship has its highs and lows. The best thing about our relationship is we're pretty open to talk about things...especially our feelings. This isn't a private blog...and not everything is meant to be shared. Trust in the fact though that I am still very happy with her..and glad she is a part of my life.

Distance

Hard to calculate. Its not always a determination of miles of pavement.

Relatively quiet day at work today. Surprisingly didn't get too many calls from the school...so things went smoothly.

Still raining..and this weather sucks.

Finding myself in an awkward position..of just not knowing where i stand..or where i want to be. Much of these resolutions just want to improve things...but easily finding things to hinder me. I really just need to self-motivate...but this cold and weather doesn't aid me. In addition to that, my face is breaking out again cuz of the cold. Ugg.

Anyways...hoping to get myself set for my personal project. I'll let u know more as it comes along.

Best intentions...slow to change..

So i told my aunt I'd wanted to go to church with her today. I almost woke up to her call...but just didn't get up. Going back to church is something i'm thinking about doing...just a matter of getting the motivation to do so. I've always said if there was something that you wanted to change about it (my feelings about my church)...then it would be up to me to do so. It will be gradual...but we'll see how it goes.

The rest of the day was nice. A quiet day at home...finishing leftovers..and attempting to clean up the house. Watched dodgeball..but nah...not as good as zoolander.

I was able to wrap up all i needed to do for the school...but expecting a number of calls tomorrow when the teachers come back in.

Looking forward to a productive year...

And so it begins...

Well..2005 has started..and its going ok. I took care of some work at the school...before opting to head home to family....only to find that my brother and sister were out...and my cousins sitting and watching TV. I remembered how i "vowed" last year that i didn't want to do this anymore..the quiet home celebration...while my friends were all out tipsy-ing the nite away. It actually was my impetus to find my own place.

Thing is...its a part of me. From the unusual tradition of opening up windows or my mom banging pots...it has been my mom's family tradition. I can't say it will be that way forever...but for 2004..I wanted it to be family.

Anyways...after the midnite count down...we proceeded to play Disney Scene it. Glad everyone got into it..and samantha came up as the winner. It was nice having everyone around again.

I was hoping to get that midnite kiss from Karen this year...but she was off with friends and unfortunately my phone has crappy reception here. I'll just have to collect on it later.

Anyways..as far as next new years...we'll see if my house is ready for it. Personally, I'm opting to host it next year..so its definitely not going to be quiet.

Happy New Year everyone.