yeah..this post is really late (2.45am) but since its still the end of my saturday..it qualifies as sat post.
Today went mostly ok...had to make sure i was awake to do the power shutdown, but i ended up hitting snooze for 40min. Good thing i set it up early. Did go and get my McGriddle (the sausage one is the better one) and successfully took care of that task.
Started watching the USC/UCLA game..and ohh..it was ugly. From the first touchdown were the ucla guy look like he hit a brick wall...to some of those bullet passes to Mike Williams...DAMN. So..I know Mary (USC) had a good day =). I will eventually have to check out one of those tailgates you throw...but we'll see.
Well..got a call from Al before i took a nap, so we were just looking to chill for the nite. I was thinking of hitting century club for this new group "take 6" from the members of Kai and Interlude but wasn't too sure if i was up to it. I've made it a point to myself try not to hit the clubs unless i go with girls...cuz if i don't, i end up being a wall flower. (no fun). Well...Sat was also the day of the APO-Phil of Greater Los Angeles (APO-GLA) Thanksgiving day awards nite. I had gotten to meet some of the members at some of our events, the APO-Phil Alumni meeting in SD, as well as Nationals. Well...I've been looking to be more involved in my Philippine culture and figured this could be a good way to do so. Plus I had to be out in Westwood later that nite, because LA was also going to have emergency power testing.
The evening was fun and very much felt like a Filipino party. Everyone there was like auntie and uncle. It was nice. After the party I headed to the office, figuring I'd just jump in and shut things off. Unfortunately, there were still people there (10pm). They've got this big case and were hard at work at it. Cuz of that, Al and I headed out to a movie just to buy them some time. Tupac Resurrections. It was ok...I had always seen Tupac as a role model and really felt his emotions in his songs. The movie was ok...interesting...but maybe better as a rental. Well, back to the office..and yes..they were still there. Well, 20 min later, they wrapped up..and i was able to shut things down and go home.
Now the question will be for Sunday. Gotta figure out when i can turn things back on, plus a meeting in anaheim at noon...and i was planning on visiting friends in SD. Man..i am a work-a-holic. Either way..i still have monday off...so should be able to rest then. Now to finish this post and get some sleep. Nite all.

[2pac]Now I clown around when I hang around with the Underground
Girls use to frown, say I'm down, when I come around
gas me and when they pass me they use to diss me
harrass me, but now they ask me if they can kiss me
Get some fame, people change, wanna live they life high
same song, can't go wrong, if I play the nice guy
(clamin that they must have changed,just because we came strong)
I remain, still the same (why Tu'?) cause it's the same song
- Digital Underground - Same Song

Point to Ponder
Will I make it to SD tomorrow? Hope so.

Only had two hours of sleep the other nite, so came home and passed out when i got home. Decided to take some time off of work...yet i find myself still doing stuff.
Was able to run some errands and stuff...get a haircut...go to the dentist. He changed out my fillings...eww...well no more metal in the mouth. My dentist, he's really cool. Get to watch DVDs while they work. I swear..it will take a root canal before i can finish Phonebooth.
I have a craving for a McGriddle...and I have to be awake by 11am to shut down servers in Australia. So...I'm off to bed. Sad..i need an alarm to make sure i'm up by 11. =p

Heaven... I'm in heaven,
And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak.
And I seem to find the happiness I seek,
When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek.
- Irving Berlin - Cheek to Cheek
hey..got green mile on.=p

Point to Ponder
What am I gonna do tomorrow?

Today was a good day. Didn't get enough sleep, but i was there for a friend. Had to wake up butt ass early in the morning to sit mysteriously in 2 hours of traffic. Now unfortunately, thats not that unusual,..but the weird thing is there was no accident or anything?? Just traffic all around.

Had some good talks and catching up with my friend nancy. Figured out what each one of us have been up to this past year..even though we work walking distance from each other. So that was fun..and I told her i'd post our talk...well..some of it. =p

nancy: today's journal: chat w/my dear pal nancy
ray: haha
nancy: she finally made time for me
nancy: no longer giving me lame excuses why she can't keep my company
nancy: *me
nancy: a good start?
nancy: :-P
ray: dork dork dork
yes...thats a lesson to all of you...no more lame excuses. =p


Also for my friend Maureen and Bern hanging out in MI this weekend for the KDPhi convention.
Here's my picture...for you to solicit cute girls for me. Cute girl in picture was used just to make the photo more appealing. =) (thanks beki)



Some other "interesting" things i found today.

Puff puff choke

Learn to Cwalk tutorial. Read the captions. hahah

You're chewing on a clam
moral of the story...never say the soup is cold.

Is this the look of a guilty man...well..weird definately. The article is much more disturbing...ewww


Your butt is mine
Gonna tell you right
Just show your face
In broad daylight
I'm telling you
On how I feel
Gonna hurt your mind
Don't shoot to kill
Come on,
...
Because I'm bad, I'm bad-come on
(Bad bad-really, really bad)
- Michael Jackson - Bad
geez..i know he'll be singing a different key in prison...or will he?

Point to Ponder
Will Micheal Jackson be singing a different key...in prison?
Ok...guess i just talk more when i'm tired...and oddly..get more done as well. Humm.
Maureen/Bern...i want to see some names in this comment field. =p
Ps..just posted the journal to Friendster. So...all you that i approved and never get to talk to...just say hi.

Today was actually ok. I got to the gym and had some good conversations with friends. Actually been on the phone a lot today. Getting a lot of APO drama. Don't understand why people get so political and uptight about stuff. Why can't we just be about the service???

Oh well...i've been up too late...and have to actually wake up early tomorrow. So i think i'll just leave it at that.

Today was just an odd day. I have much to do at work...but couldn't seem to get my mind to doing it. Didn't feel like doing anythign till I was about to leave. Did talk to a friend today that I haven't heard from in a while(since he's supposedly busy at school =p). Hope things are cool and you know I'm always here for you man. Hit me up whenever...i'll make time for you.
I think i just need a haircut...whenever it gets long..i just seem to drag. Weird huh? oh well...planning on taking Fri and Mon off of work..but gonna have to possibly come in sun or so.

Everday I thank the lord above that your with me(your with me)
Tell me why would I throw that away(why would I throw that away)
What can I do to prove that this is where I wanna be(yea)
So I may look occasionally
Your the only one I need

If I wanted
(That girl)
Then I would be with
(That girl)
But that one ain't for me
She's fine as hell but she'll always be
(That girl)
Nothin' more then
(That girl, no matter what she do she don't compare to you)
- Marques Houston - That Girl
I'll have to check the mp3 download on that site.

Point to Ponder
Where is steve lee with his comments =p?

Finished 2 large bottles of soju last nite...with the help of my friends =p. The birthday girl only sipped 1 and a half shots, and reaffirmed the fact that she hates alcohol. All in all, it was fun. Skipped out on working out...and felt a lil bad about it...but oh well.
Best parts of the day was watching Elf with Alfred and my dad. Wasn't expecting much, and was pleasently surprised. It was a really good story and funny in all the right places. Just a nice way to end the weekend.
I don't think i'll try for the dance class tonite, instead getting to the gym...and maybe a movie.

You got me lifted shifted higher than a ceiling
And ooh wee it’s the ultimate feeling
You got me lifted feeling so gifted
Sugar how you get so fly?
Sugar sugar how you get so fly?
- Baby Bash Featuring Frankie J - Suga Suga
I used to hate this song till i saw the video =p. Check out Ms. Tasty Pop on launch.yahoo.com

Point to Ponder
Should I move into my aunt's house in montebello?

Nothing much going on today. Went to an anime-expo meeting and possibly watching elf with alfred later. Gonna chill with the guys later to celebrate Sharon's Bday (21 baby). Gonna go for some soju again (maybe try a couple flavors). Yeah!.
May skip out on the gym..but we'll see. Need to plan that out better. Visits are good...but i may need to structure it a bit more. Plus..thinking about that dance class again. humm. Well...we'll just see how the nite goes.

Yeah, it's been a while since I've hollered from the town,
Mess around heard young ginome said "I've gotta be down"
Cause new styles is goin down, look around you
Tunes from the Luniz spread round an round you
Back to get my O on, they let me flow on
The thirty-five on it,
Yeah, I'm on it,
Still brinin satin for them draws
Velvet for the mic and got a pound for the cause
- Da Luniz (remix) - I got 5 on it

Point to Ponder
I wanna learn another language...humm..what should it be?

I had a lot of fun today. I wasn't expecting much, but maybe thats why i enjoyed it more.
So...i had my 2nd day pass to Disney California Adventure to redeem today...since i used the first day on mantha's bday. I called up Alfred to see if he wanted to hang..if not i would just walk around seeing whatever.
I had been to california adventures before...but wasn't impressed.
Well...today was different. I have come to accept that I am very much a Disney kid. Seeing the little kids dancing around to music..and hearing the famous songs from the Disney movies reminded me why i am the person i am today. Believing in yourself, seeking that one true love, good triumphing over evil, just being yourself...all common themes....but sadly lost in today's society. I've come to expect the happy ending...but i know it doesn't happen all the time. i always try to look for the good in life...and see beyond the bad. I guess you can say i maintain a certain innocence...but I'm definately not naive.
Well..today helped remind me to just stay true to myself...and see what happens.

So it definitely was a good day. Alfred, Brenda, and Rozelle came out and we just chilled for most of the afternoon. Later Tony and Brenda's sister Vivian came out to join us. I love hanging with my cousins (and friends close enough to be family). We rode most of the rides and saw the shows. Saw the Aladdin show. That was a really good show starred by DeeDee from the Mickey Mouse club. I know mantha would have loved it...since the whole cast seemed pretty cool. Even riding the simple stuff at the park (those chairs suspended in air) just seemed to be more enjoyable. One of the best parts of the nite was being there with Vivian as she rode her first big roller coaster. It was so much fun i had to get the pic of us.



=)
Vivian is on the front left.
Sometimes its just the lil things.

I can show you the world
Shining, shimmering, splendid
Tell me princess, now when did
You last let your heart decide?
I can open your eyes
Take you wonder by wonder
Over, sideways and under
On a magic carpet ride
A whole new world
A new fantastic point of view
- Lea Salonga\Brad Kane - a whole new world - Disney

Point to Ponder
Think about what I said...innoscent, but not naive...and just the acceptance of being yourself.

ahh...
Sushi was good last nite and thanks to ventura traffic, i was actually able to get to the gym before the guys showed up. It actually was a pretty good guys night out.
Today was a good day as I was able to clean up a lot of stuff...and take care of a number of open issues. Still just keeping busy.

Saw this article on Blogger. Mom finds blog. Thought it was pretty funny since i think my mom found out about it the same way. Not sure what my feelings are about that. I guess it shows in one way trying to connect...but pretty sad when you think about it. Oddly, it was the only way my brother and i connected before we made our peace with each other. Guess time will only tell for the latter.

On that note, also realizing more people are reading this than i thought...so i guess going public wouldn't be too much of a big deal. Funny...since NO ONE COMMENTS. =p. yeah...it would be nice to know people are listening when you talk...but no biggie....i say what i feel for myself...and not anyone else.

Watch out for the medallion my diamonds are wreckless
Feels like a MIDGET is hanging from my neckless
- Ludacris - stand up

Point to ponder
What is the matrix?

I hate LA traffic, when it takes me 2 hours to get to work...
and my ride home looks like the christmas parade.

LA Traffic

Anyways...CHOMPS sushi baby...3 weeks waiting...
then prob some soju.

Ugg...thats the first time Blogger has actually eaten one of my posts. Darn...didn't save it either.
So i'll try to recreate. (ps...I love the fact u can change time and date of post now)
----
Tonite i actually hit the gym after a long frat meeting. Didn't stay to long since i have an early morning for work.
Actually might take a workout break tomorrow...since sushi nite is up again. yumm...its been too long. =p
Other thing is I'm actually losing weight (scary huh). Once i get my website running, I'll keep running tabs on my progress with it.

This is (was) actually written the nite of nov 12..but i "cheat" a lil on the timing, since I'm trying to be consistant with my goal. So anytime u see 11.59 of that they...that would likely be the reason.
Ok..gonna crash.

Now in my younger days I used to sport as sag
When I went to school I carried lunch in a bag,
With an apple for my teacher 'cause I knew I'd get a kiss.
Always got mad when the class was dismissed
- Pharcyde - Passing me by

Point to Ponder
Isn't it ironic to have "rules" of war?

keeping to my commitment (blogging and working out)...and pretty happy about it.
Guess this will be day 11 since i started on the first.

Had to think about things...how words affect me...and how i react to it. I guess I tend to over-analyze a lot of things.

Did i tell you how much i love my sister? She has to be one of the greatest listeners and counselor. Thanks sis for being there. =)

Otherwise...things been going ok. Likely to check out the new office tomorrow. Gonna set up the server for the elementary school i work for and host my own webpage. Keeping things really organized helping me keep things in line.

thinking of getting back to my roots and personal growth. After checking out the ballroom dance group, thinking of getting involved again with the Filipino club. Doubt I'd do a PCN again..but looking to reconnect.

I never wanted anything as much as I want you with me.
You were the one who said to follow my dreams,
Of having a house, a car, a view of the stars, and a beautiful wife,
So I need someone I can go with,
I need some love in my life.

So I, I want to know,
If you really want me to go,
And if so, Are you coming with me?
I, I want to know,
Should I really, really go,
And if so, Come with me
- Shai - Come with me

Point to Ponder
Humm...when should i go "public" with this blog?

Actually got to the gym...and caught up with Joe regarding the reunion.
Guess i didn't miss much..and saved some dough. He said it was pretty whack.

I did also make it to the dance class. I guess it was what to be expected. Felt a lil too lax...but there were quite a few people there. Unfortunately..i didn't see anything to aspire to...so not sure if i would really want to do it. i guess you get what you pay for...and since this is free...it wasn't much. It wouldn't hurt to kill a couple hours though.


Yeah, this is how we chill from 93 'til
This is how we chill from 93 'til...
- 93 till infinity - Souls of Mischief

Point to Ponder
Was the PVT Jessica Lynch rescue staged? Why would you bring a video camera to a rescue operation? humm.

Hoping to hit the gym tonite...
but gonna try the UCLA ballroom dance class first.
Salsa baby!

Skiddish me will see if i can just observe first...but more likely than not...get dragged onto the dance floor. Course...usually a 5 girls to 1 guy ratio in dance classes. =p

Isn't it sad...that in order to make it thru the dating scene...
you have to have no heart....so you won't get hurt...
only to find the special person that can look past it all those walls
and really touch your heart??

Seems ironic and stupid to me...but maybe thats why I don't do this very well.

I built a wall
Out of this heart of mine
Never letting no one in
Didn't think I need a friend
Until now, feeling this way won't do
I'm ready to give all of me
the question that I have of you
Will he say the things he needs to say
Or touch me in a certain way
I told myself just to be strong
One day the man will come along
- Tamia - This time it's love

i'm a creature of habit...
even though i try to make sure i go to the gym everyday..
or promise to blog about something each day...

sometimes...i just don't know if i can say what i want to say...
i think i'll just leave it at that.

Ok..i cheat. This is written the nite of Nov 8..(more like 3.30am of sun morning)..but technically part of the same day =).

Anyways, today was a good day. Woke up from a much needed sleep to hit the gym. Afterwards met yup with the AX crew to watch Matrix again...in the IMAX theatre. It was great just seeing everyone again. I'm glad I'm surrounded by such good friends.

Unfortunately, because i was with them most of the nite, I did miss out on my 10 year reunion. Talking to one of my friends that actually went...i hear i didn't miss much. I'll have to get more details later.

Oddly...one of my highlights for the evening was hanging with UCSD and UCI in LA. Many of the brothers came up for the interchapter service tomorrow. We were all camped out at someone's apartment when they included me in a game of mafia. Honestly, I'd have to say the those two school have some of the friendliest and outgoing brothers. I always feel the love when i go to those chapters...and i am really proud of what they have done. I wish i had actually planned to do the service, cuz i was almost convinced to stay there tonite. Well..i'll definately plan a visit in the near future.

Matrix Theme music Main Title - Don Davis

Point to Ponder
Are the wildfires still going on?

Ug...Hot shower and a shave.
been a long day at work, ended up staying here overnite.
I guess its karma for all the times i just sit at work.
Likely missing another work out day...but i think it was for a good reason. Hanging out with cousins and a friend. Saw Intolerable Differences, but the company was more entertaining. Plus there was this guy that was straight snoring through the whole movie.

Right now I just feel icky since I've been here all nite. Unfortunately, this is LA..so u are going no where when you hit Friday nite traffic. But now that the major project is done, I can just continue to clean up my area and stuff...and hopefully make it more presentable.

Getting responses on the ADT reunion. Hoping to see some old friends again. Starting to look forward to it.

Supersonic
You see, the “S” is for super, and the “U” is for unique
The “P” is for perfection and you know that we are freaks
The “E” is for exotic, and the “R” is for raps
So tell those nosy people just to stay the hell back
- JJ Fad - Supersonic
This one is to my brother...cuz i heard this at the Halloween party...and he was the first person i thought of. =)

Point to Ponder:
How was the chocolate cookie invented?

The dating game....why does it have to be so complicated.
I like you...hopefully you like me.
Lets see where it goes from there.

If i was a lil kid, I'd just grab your hand and hold it while we walk.
Humm...i think i may just have to try that. =)

I've been watching you
for so very long
trying to get my nerve built up to be so strong
I really want to meet you
but I'm kind of scared
cause you're the kind of lady
with so much class.
- Jodeci - Come and Talk to Me

Well...i ditched working out yesterday...i think for a good reason.
Saw the matrix revolutions at midnite last nite with a group of friends...
It was a good wrap up to the whole series...but i still think the first one was the best.
Got my MP3 player from Ed...so loving that...which brings me to my next post.

i don't want to close my eyes anymore.
As i mentioned previously...music does a lot for me. i think its because of i can feel the emotional connection to it. Music you can't really fake. I just don't know if its been hurting me though. =/

i know i'm a romantic....and when i hear love songs...i get filled with this whole idea/feeling of what love is. When i sing..its all of me...i get really involved...esp if its a love song (more like singing in the car...as opposed to singing in the shower). I can only assume that is what love feels like...and why i find myself in constant pursuit of it.
To me its magical...special...meaningful...and everything. I've created this huge image...of what love is...and lately just question whether this pursuit is as pointless as chasing unicorns.

fortunately/unfortunately...I'm a believer. I need only look at the recent marriage of my friend Bryan and Angela*, to re-affirm my belief that true love is possible. It was actually there that I started singing "freely" again. I was dancing with a friend, when a slow song from selena came on...and i found myself singing to the person. Now this (singing to someone) is typically reserved to people i am comfortable with or genuinely interested in...and in this case...i wasn't particularly interested in this person either...so instead...i found myself singing with my eyes closed. That tends to happen...when i feel i want to let free this emotion...but no one to direct it to.
i found this quote...about love being less of the feeling...and more of the actions. I don't want to confuse infatuation with actual love...but the feeling can be so strong...cuz i have felt it before.

Love...is less a feeling than an action-it's the sustained ability to put someone else's needs above yours day after day, year after year.

I guess when it comes down to it...I'm gonna keep my eyes and let me self take more chances on finding it. It may not hit me at first...but i know i'll find it again. I need only look at some of my friends to truly believe that it is attainable (Bryan-Angela, Jojo-Dao, Alfred-Brenda, and many others.) I don't want to close my eyes anymore...i just want to see the person i want to sing to.

Girl I care about you
I'm there for you
So why don't you care for me,
like I care about you
-Milestone, Soul Food Soundtrack

* darn geocities won't allow outside links. So copy past this into a browser.
http://www.geocities.com/sasami514/pics/angelaandbryan.jpg

ray: ahhh...u've reminded me that true love is still possible
(sigh)
bryan: ha ha....
ray: (sentimental sob)
bryan: no problem.
ray: really though..i'm really happy for you.
bryan: i am glad that i can share it with you.
ray: i was starting to more or less give up on the idea...
bryan: oh.. ha ha
bryan: no.. never give up.. but don't try to hard..
bryan: love will come to you!

Yeah...this is pretty much how I looked on halloween. Rain and all.
Gonna have my matrix marathon today....ending with REVOLUTIONS at 12am. Yippee...

Plus I'm gonna post about music and me...prob soon...so gonna start adding favorite lines and such. So here is the first.
sunny days everybody loves them
tell me baby can you stand the rain?
storms will come
this we know for sure(this we know for sure)
can you stand the rain?
-New Edition

Point to Ponder
What two coins make 30 cents? One of them is not a nickle. If you watched Scrubs last week, you would have gotten it.

Yeah...i can see that.
volunteers? =)



cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed


What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Humm..
How many "rebirths" does one go through...before they finally make a change?
I've constantly said to myself...i gotta do this...or i need to do this...but many a times...it just falls to the wayside. Well..not to jinx myself now...I'm gonna do it again.

I've decided to be more of action. I definitely am a planner, but fail mostly on execution. I am thinking of others, but now...I just want to be more selfish. Life is passing me by...but now I'm gonna grab it and enjoy the moment.

So...here is my proposal. i'm looking to improve myself. I was about to say.."but the question is how?"...but thats not the right attitude anymore. Now is the time for action...

So here is my ACTION PLAN
Physical - I will visit the gym each day. Its the one club I pay for every month..but hardly go. No matter what, I will stop by to do something. (Already started this past week. Really cool going swimming again...that and sitting in the spa ^_^).
Mental - Thanks to someone, I've decided to read more. Almost done with Joy Luck Club...thought I should get back on it. Tired of mental stagnation. With that note, I will also try to spark some mental debates/challenges/Things that make you go.. hummm right here on the blog. I'd like to hear the comments and see what intellectual discussions come about it. Or sometimes it may just be something fun.
Spiritual - Man...wasn't even gonna put that. My relationship with God is...ok...not the best. But that will be something that will eventually be restored. (that and some other relationships).
Personal - I'm looking at cooking and dancing classes. Gonna look to attend the Ballroom dance club at UCLA.



So with that..the first point to ponder.

If Snickers satisfies, why do you need a King Size version. This also applies to Gatoraid and maybe Nyquil.

double double, animal style with animal style fries. Thats the only way to go now.

Yeah! Halloween..
So last minute this morning i decide on going as Neo (Matrix...as if you didn't know) to work. Of course..sucks when you are the only one in the office getting into the spirit of things.

Anyways...heading out with friends for festivities in West Hollywood. Kinda wanna see the pussycat dolls...so gonna stay out for that.

Happy Halloween everyone. =)

Ok...since i don't post that often...I'll start just putting the lil stuff every so often. Remember...in blue...just random topics. Font in black is the more thought provoking ones.


So...10 year High School reunion this year. Not exactly "excited" about going...but I am gonna go anyways (did the same thing going to prom)...just didn't want to regret missing.

Plus you never know...i'll get to meet all the Joseph girls that I never met in HS. Hahaha..funny thing..in the memory book...when it asked if I could go back and change something..what would i do....i said "go to a co-ed High School".

On another note, seems my company is expanding..and opening an office in pasadena. Definately not time to hire an assistant yet (sorry all my IT friends)...but means I'll be running between offices while it gets started.
Puts me in a quandry of sorts when it comes to looking for my own place. Maybe Monterey Park, Alhambra...who knows.

So I turn it to you...
Comments..comments....
recommendations on where to live...between Westwood and Pasadena?

Teddy Bomb. what a sad world....when u think about it. The symbol of childhood turned into something deadly.

Childhood

Damn...this was just gonna be a short post...but now its got me thinking.

What's wrong with being a child? Remembering the my younger years....when your biggest concern was not eating too much chocolate. The most expensive video game system failed in comparison to running around in the sprinklers. When your $5 allowance bought you candy and a world of imagination. I used to wake up at 5am just to watch cartoons. Now I find myself sometimes going to bed at that time.

Yes...we all grow older in age. We all mature. We become more educated. That doesn't mean we have to forget that innocence that makes us see the world through rose colored lenses. Am i deluding myself, in believing in the better parts of people? Thinking we are more good than bad? If you think that...I'm sorry.
You're in a bitter world... I'm just living in mine.

Dang...if i had a lawn with sprinklers...i'd probably be running through it right now. In the meantime, I think i'll settle for a bag of water balloons and some targets/friends. =p

Also on that note, I'm going to DISNEYLAND Friday....and the best part of it, is I'll be going with my sister (her bday) and my brother (yeah, he's back ^_^).

killing some time...trying to avoid traffic.
welcome jojo to the blogging world =p. I think you're gonna have too much fun with this...and yes..this update is for you.

Jojo got me hooked on launch radio on yahoo....now i don't need cable anymore.
I got a free trip to Japan in Jan...so looking forward to that. Need to go update the Passport and stuff.

finishing up a bunch of lessons in my Dreamweaver book..so again (like you haven't heard it already), expect a site update soon.
Oh yeah..getting back into tennis too...that was hella cool. Looking for anyone that wants to play out in Westwood during the week.

Let me know... =)

Video of the moment: Justin Timberlake: Cry me a River

Man...wonder if I can pull off that haircut...tried it once..but didn't like it too much.
And sam..yeah..after watching Friends last nite...i admit..i'm definately Ross. =p

Also realized that I mumble. Maybe thats why I like IM a lot. I was told I had a soft voice...I said...its calming. But I do project...when i do public speaking...
but when ur chilln with the homies...don't need to feel like yelling. But yeah...working on that as well. Maybe people should call more ^_-

OK..better find something more to kill time. I may just start daily updates. Prob look like this:

Work..ok..
thats pretty much it.
but I find ways to make it entertaining. Either that or outside activities.

PS - Al's your off the link list for never updating. You call anyways.
Diana...I'm glad ur site came back up...I'll have to IM you sometime.

Time....guess i've had some time to just stop and think lately. Lot of things I've wanted to say...and just really haven't. I think this post is gonna be a stream of conscious post..so not exactly sure where this will lead...but guess i'll begin.

First the basics. Yeah..still alive. Actually been busy at work...so I tell everyone that asks me how I'm doing. I've gotten my review..and it was good..and at the same time got more responsibilities covering the Austrailian and New Zealand offices. Cool accents mates. =). That plus getting a bunch of new people at the office...thats pretty much been most of my time.

I've reduced most of my obligations/ties/responsibilities. No longer APO sec chair...and since then have just been relaxing. Still have a couple of responsibilities (regionals advisor/Membership chair), but everything is managable. Anime Expo is done...for this year. Been doing a lot of stuff with members from there. Lately though...haven't had much motivation. Expo is a year away..and we just have time to kill. Nice thing though is hanging with some of my closer friends and doing the Pusoy and Sushi nites. That plus they showed me a cool korean place in Cypress. Ahhh...flavored soju.^_^

Doing more of the family stuff. Samantha's back...so that always makes me happy ^_^. Chiln with my cousin Alfred, building his computer. These two are probably the two family members that I feel closest too. Trying to reconnect to all my other family members too. Actually at my cousin's bday party right now...but sadly sitting in the other room on the computer.=/

so...where does that put me know...mostly time for myself. I'm still running around doing a lot of things, hanging with old college friends, finding something interesting to do, meeting new people. I once had a free weekend to do nothing...and almost went crazy. Sat and stared at the TV...so unproductive. Reconnecting..and also retreating. My life is a series of contradictions. Things I want to say...things i can't say...wondering...wondering...wondering...

I've come to think that what i most resemble is glue. weird huh?

i've always seen myself as easy go lucky...very low maintenance... I get along with pretty much anyone i meet...and actually enjoy meeting new people and making new friends. I know a lot people...and yet...there is something missing. Something i've been looking for. Think it ties into my desire for a girlfriend.

Yes ladies and gentlemen...ray is looking for a girlfriend. As if you didn't know it.

---Cont on Aug 27---Sorry...didn't post and the party ended =)

But back to the issue at hand...oh yes...glue. Why glue?

Well..i find myself as a member in a bunch of groups...but not sure...or unable to really call one my own. I see friends that remember each others birthdays, planning outing togethers, and other stuff...while I feel that I'm still a part of them..just one of the outer rings in those circles of friends. Yeah...and outer ring.

Drifting, floating, gravitating...sometimes as close as Mars is now...(see..i'm up with most current events)..other times as far away as the stars.

ok...back to the glue....so yeah...many different groups. And I find that I can bring many of them together...well...maybe because I only really hang out with mostly good people. Bad people bore me...and usually disgust me. I still "hang" out with them...but i just keep true to myself. Maybe it cuz i just believe in people...and optimism that things will get better. I've seen it happen. I just say that now cuz I wouldn't want you to judge me just by my friends...but also get to know me. Funny..not to many people really do. *Another topic for another day of introspection.

wow..so distracted....guess that happens....one thing leads to another..and yet again..i'm off....yet stream of conscious tends to get you talking about things..and some things that you really didn't want to talk about.

So..back to the glue. Like many of your glue varieties...tends to bring things together...and make them stick. Well..the thing about glue is once its done...you never see it anymore. Disappears. yea....disappears. Especially that crazy glue. =p (ha..mock attempts at humor...to well..hide...)

Its one thing that i've really learned...its the connecting part. I know at a moments notice...everyone/anyone that knows me...would drop most things if I ever called. Funny things is...if i didn't need you...i just don't seem to call. Its not cuz i don't care...i guess i just put myself at a lower importance in your lives. Goes back to the low self-esteem thing...(wow..can u believe that). Don't want to be a bother to anyone.

Actually...wondering why I'm even going a write that....or even eventually post this. I guess it can be seen as a cry for help. (Yeah..thats the psychologist in me talking)...but the thing with me is...i don't try to get anyone's help. Guess I'm just stubborn...try to handle things on my own....and for the most part...have been really good at it. And right now...i don't really think I need anyone's help. (so please...no one try to call me so I can wallow in self pity. Thats not definitely not what I'm looking for.) I think what it comes back to is the relationship question.

Its funny...I had it once before....a girlfriend that was totally dedicated to me. Many at times I felt a bit too much....but I think that is what I am missing (no not a devoted follower). That relationship person ...that can truly connect to me. That can honestly know me. The person that can complete my sentences...finish my thoughts...and in a glance....know exactly what I'm thinking and how I'm feeling.

I guess thats whats killing me in this whole "searching/dating" process....cuz not sure what to do...when to do something...blah blah blah. I'm a romantic...and it will come naturally...when its with the right person. And in time...that person will appear...someone I may already know...someone I may not know at all.

The only thing that sucks right now...is being in love...but not knowing who it is with.






If you actually read this far...I thank you for your time. I figure this blog has gotten around...and still I don't really publicize it. This venue has always been a place to just say how I feel...but if you really knew me....It hardly is even that. There are only a few people that I have "officially" told about this site...and even less people that I truly say know I feel. My life has been an open book, but few actually take the time to read anymore. I just want to especially thank my sister...who has always been the one there for me. I love you Mantha.

OK..enough with the contemplation...just put on a happy face...and think of the positives....yea...positives...smiles.^_^

OK...wasn't gonna let another month pass without a post.
Thought you had enough after that long ass post in June.


Went thru some things...just thinking things out...and feeling things out.
Right now...things are ok. Not great...but ok.


July 4 weekend was fun. All the stresses of Anime Expo went off with a great time. My lil trip to San Diego was a lot of fun too. Been going picture crazy lately. Had to take some time to catch up at work, but currently conceptulizing a redesign. I'm planning on setting up a link to all those pics on ofoto.com.


Found some really good articles on MSN. Thought I'd share. =)


5 Signs She's Interested In You
Top 10: Traits Of A Great Girlfriend
6 Men women love


and after all that...a funny.
Lap dancer - watch how quick the guys will check this one. =p

Sometimes I wish I just didn't care so much. Wonder how different I'd be.
>Lord make me a bird so I can fly fly away - Forrest Gump<
>I'm tired. Some one wake me up when life gets better<

Wonder if I need a "its a wonderful life" moment right now.

Weekend in SF (May 29- Jun 1)

The last weekend of May, a group of friends and I went on a trip to SF, primarily for my friend Bryan’s wedding. I’d have to say it was one of the best weekends I’ve had in quite a long time.
It started out with the group leaving Long Beach Airport. The five of us, Mark, Traci, Jojo, Dao and I decided to take Jet Blue airlines since Jojo wanted to have direct TV. Wasn’t really worth it for the 50 min ride..but still made things interesting. From the get go…we were having a blast. I don’t know..just really didn’t feel like caring about anything. I wasn’t “planning” anything in particular..and was just looking to enjoy the weekend. It started out with Jojo and I hitting each other on the shoulder from across the aisle of the plane. Childish..yes..but still fun. For some reason…I just have a lot of fun when Jojo is around. I got some pretty good punches in…and of course Jojo just smiled..and took it like a lil girl.
We landed in Oakland and picked up the rental car. Tried to spit some Tagalog to the attendant, as she was gonna hook us up with an SUV..but no go. Jumped in the car and off we when to the hotel. (Theme playing – Back to the Hotel – N2Deep). This was only the first day…and people were already looking to crash…but I wasn’t having it. SO of course I call up all my norcal people…and thankfully they were happy to come out and host for us.
We started out by heading to the city, to do some site seeing. There we met up with Christina. After walking around Union for a while…we ended up at Metreon…in the arcade. Hey..it was happy hour…and we were looking to start the week right. While we were there, Biggwould and Steve Lee came by. Of course Steve gave up on Finding Nemo that nite..but I think he enjoyed my company a bit more than the fish.=). Surprisingly, we were there at the club for quite some time..and getting a light buzz. Deciding we finally needed to go…we head out to Brothers Korean B-B-Q. Really good food for a good price. Most of the time I was picking at plates and shooting Soju, till all the food disappeared. The Soju was ok…but Justin then told me about this hot waitress (helen) supposedly at the bar near by called Fizzies. So we proceeded to head to the bar...when my boy from back in the day rando hits me back and says he wants to hang. So i tell him to roll to Fizzies and we all meet up there.

DANG....I tell you...rando...it was soo good to see you again. We've had each others backs since day 1...plus he got me to love the Sixers. We met at my first sysadmin job in LA...and we knew from the get go..that we were bros for life. Course he headed up to the Bay...and I stayed here...but it was like old times kicking it again. =p

So yeah......back to the story. So we're all at bar. Guess the hot one wasn't there that nite...just my luck. The rest of my group decides they've had enough for the day...and proceed to head home....except my boy Mark B. Wow..good times..good times. Called up Vince Ronin from MZ...and it was all over.So there we were...Justin, Mark, Rando, Fred, Steve, Christina, and Vince...saying hi to Jack Daniels, Liquid Cocaine, Remy, Patron....plus a lot of pretzels. Lots of trash talking...but mostly a lot of fun. I really don't remember much from that nite...hahahha. I do remember everyone leaving..and Justin walking Mark and I like 8 Blocks..to go to the other bar...just cuz it had a later last call. Course ..all mark and I got was a purple hooter. Weak... After that..we jumped into Justins High Exhaust Exclipse...and head home. I passed out next to the aluminum cans...and Mark tried to stay awake and talk to Justin..but passed out too. HHAHAH.

End Day 1..please turn your tape to the other side...beep.

So we survived for the next day. Rando hits us up..and we were gonna kick it like before. Hawaiian Breakfast at Puenaheli. Sadly though..that shop has been long since closed. Another restaurant took its place...hawaiian as well..but just not the same. So again...we start the party again. Pretty much took up the whole restaurant. Wasn't too hard since there was no one else there. The original 5, Rando, Christina, Steve, The Ronin bros (yeah Gerald woke up), and Felix and company. It was cool..just chiln mostly. Got our grub on...and proceeded to think of what to do next. After much pondering...it was decided...Haight street.

Honestly..didn't really seem like much to me. A mix of Venice and 3rd Street promenade. We walk thru it...and decided to head home and rest...before dinner and the club that nite. We had decided on Glass Kat for the club..and ended up there for dinner as well. The club was cool...meeting up with old friends....and meeting some new ones ^_-. Best part was Jojo getting molested by a couple of club go-ers =p. He says now he understands what ass is. We ended the nite with some Filipino food at the all nite casino. Dang..only filipinos..hahah.

Day 3...the reason why we came up. Today was Bryan's wedding. We decided to go tp Fisherman's Wharf and get some clam chowder bowls. While we're there we check out the local stores and old carnival area. Mark gets some snap caps and all hell breaks loose. Its funny to see how much enjoyment u can get from the lil things. The best part was when Traci was carrying two on her back...without her knowledge...and accidentally drops it in the ice cream shop, scaring a bunch of people in there. They turned around to blame Mark, but he was soo far away. Oh man..my side hurt it was too funny. After that...we head home and get ready for the wedding.

The ceremony was nice...held outdoors so it got kinda hot. I can honestly say I have never seen a more beautiful and happier couple. It was great seeing a bunch of my old friends again from college. My old roommates Jeff and Chad. Apo peeps Annette, Thi, Theresa, Pansy, Jenn Chan, Christine, Carey, Gideon as
well. Had a lot of fun just chilln. On of the best parts had to be "raving" with Mark on the dance floor. Honestly..just not caring about things is the best way to be. We were just jumping up and down, "battling", on the dance floor..just having fun.

Last Day...Such a fun filled weekend...we weren't exactly sure how to end it. We started by searching for breakfast..ending up at this place called the Squat and Gobble. Thankfully our hosts Justin and now Jen Lee came thru to give us ideas for our final hours in SF. Finally we decided on Japantown. We strolled thru the mall and a number of shops. Cool photo opportunities...as mark and I again battled this time with the cameras. (total 330 from all our cameras in the Ofoto album). We ended the day with Ramune drinking contest and headed back to the airport. Jumped on a plane...started socking Jojo in the arm again..and eventually made it back home safely.
Big Ups to everyone that kicked it with us that weekend. Thanks for being there...and playing host.

Still kinda busy...but had to find the time to write this.
Expect an "update" later on my recent trip to SF (so much fun)..and Traci's Bday party.
until then..u can refer to the pictures on ofoto. (click links above) =)


OK...so what was so important to write about....
well...guess its this recent friendster.com craze. I don’t usually sign up for all these internet hype stuff...but after chilln with some friends in SF...i had a reason. =p
Well...besides being a cool idea...on a really crappy server that cuts out like every 10 minutes...it got me thinking about some things.

I know a lot of people. Thatz a fact. but the question really is...do i define them as friends?

For me...there are varying levels in which I know someone. The majority of the people I know...mostly acquaintances. I don't really have very many friends. So when I started getting requests from people i knew (college, Fraternity, etc)...or people i never really hung out with...had to pause to decide. Funny...simple question you'd think..."are you friends with this guy/girl?"...but not a simple answer. On the flip side, i found a number of people that i know as acquaintances...but wondered if they ever felt I was a friend?.

Really...I'm a private guy. So after a while...the novelty of the idea started to wear off...and some fears actually came up. I never really liked mixing my circle of friends. Each one knows an aspect of me...but what would happen when those boundaries became blurred. I mean really...wouldn't it be weird...if your high school best friend...ends up dating your ex-girlfriend's roommate...that you also know thanks to friendster. If it was meant to be...i'd be happy for them...but i'd also have to say...its still kinda awkward.

The other thing I worried about were people using my name/"friendship" to fuck around with my friends. Yeah...I'd have to say I'm really protective of my friends...girls especially. I'll be the first to admit that guys are dogs... and yes... i may be friends with some of them...but it doesn't necessarily mean i approve of their actions. So...hesitation again on friendster.

In the end... I more or less approved people...just as an acknowledgement that i do know them...but i also left a stern warning on my profile (below). But yeah...if you are on friendster...go ahead and request if you want to be my friend... But if you really want to know where you stand...just send me a direct email. This is not the email I used on friendster.


In response to "About Me":

humm...shy =p... funny (least I think so)... boring (yeah...really)...streaks of spontaneity...listener...protector...friend. I don't talk about myself much...but i really don't have much to hide. I just don't express it much.

-Which brings me to my next thought...I'm not trying to be popular here...but I do have varying definitions of friends. I honestly don't have a lot of friends...but a lot of acquaintances. Friends mean a lot to me...and I pretty much do anything for them. So...getting requests from people I "know"...but hardly know...yeah...kinda a quandary. If you want to go from more than an acquaintance to a friend...thats up to you to take the initiative. I'm always willing.

--on the other hand..if you're expecting to pick up on any of my FRIENDS...cuz you say your my friend...you better not hurt any of them. (I'm very protective...especially of my friends-girls). If you hurt them...expect to get your ass kicked by ALL of my friends. For realz.

Currently Listening to: I want you - Thalia Feat Fat Joe
Mood: protective

wow..new blogger..

and ray actually busy at work..and other stuff.
Things been going well...having fun..so thats good.

much to write about..but not right now. Been crashing at 4am the past few days..so need to catch up on sleep first.

mainly wanted to post on how true this lil article was..

8 ways to turn guys on

Blogging from Texas. Yee Haw!!

Quite an interesting weekend so far...and its not even over yet.

Guess we'll start off with Friday. So I'm sitting at work, busy with different projects and stuff, when I find out that the Server in Texas has gone down. After talking with some people in Boston and realizing that I'm not doing much this weekend, i accept the suggestion to fly out to Houston and work on the server. Of course this is after my previous plans for Sat (AX BBQ and Hot Import Nights). So, I schedule a flight, leaving at 8am on Sunday and am staying at the four seasons hotel. Nice =).

I'm working on the machine right now...just had some time to type while reloading the software.

So...friday nite, my AX friends come in to UCLA to prep for the BBQ the next day. Mostly it was fun...catching up...playing Dos till 2am and drinking boba. This was after a great birthday sushi dinner courtesy of Mark. Big shouts to my lil sib Theresa in Irvine too for planning a family get together and Bday cake for me on Wed...she's soo sweet. (and yes Rachel...she does exist). Lots of fun, but got home late (again) cus I had to prep some Cds for this trip. Work...work...work.

So I wake up on Sat to see that Samantha arrived. I had just learned that she was actually coming. Didn't get to talk to her much...as she needed to leave for a party. I missed her hug...but sam...i understand.

So got ready to go to the BBQ. It was ok...not as good as the last one. Found myself playing basketball most of the time...but that was fun. Afterwards, went to Hot Import Nights. That was cool as well. Ahh..pictures with Aiko Tanaka. =)

I'll have to post more later....but leaving for SF now. See you there! =p

Man oh man...this shit is too funny. I had to walk into the server room to keep from laughing out loud at work. The Rhino and cop/pirate one are the best. HAHAH.(link c/o LYD)

Fun with Cybering

OK...I told you I wanted to see it too. Yeah...what a birthday present that would be. Lana Lane and a birthday cake.
^_^ Speaking of which...

Humm...looking for traditional japanese school uniform for Anime Expo...yet all my internet searches lead to porn. Interesting...yet not exactly what I'm looking for...(right now ^_-).
sample1
sample2
The inspiration - My Sassy Girl

Suggestions anyone? Any help would be appreciated. =)

Travel/Entertainment Plans

Just and FYI...for those interested in hanging out.

5/24 - Cerritos - AX picnic and Hot Import Nights
5/29-6/1 - SF- Bryan Han's Wedding. Staying at Hyatt Regency SFO
6/14 - Davis - Samantha's Graduation
6/21 - Santa Clara - Fanime Con
7/2-6 - Anaheim - Anime expo (AX)

Currently Listening to: California Love - 2Pac
Mood: diligent

Its been an interesting week. Got DSL at home finally. ^_^ Fairly busy at work..so thats occupied much of my time. Some sad things and some scary things this past week also...that make you take a step back and re-evaluate were we all fit in...as far as life goes. They say, it just helps you appreciate things much better. Thinking about things..wondering....

honestly...I'd just have to say fuck it (raises middle finger in the air).

OK...this post just turned.

Now don't get me wrong. I didn't know Adrian at all...but I feel his loss. I felt his loss when my sister first told me...when justin told me he was going to the memorial...and then when I read kelly's blog. Sounds like a great guy...and truly a tragic loss. He was a brother of APO...but that didn't matter...he made a difference in people's lives.

I also know all the girls that were in the car...I heard about what happened....I shudder to think what could have happened. Thankfully, although in pain, they are all still here.

But what I pose to you is this: What do you do from here? Sit around...remember who he was...ponder what he could have been. Thinking what could have happened in that car. Much of our lives are spent....thinking....not doing. Evaluating....but not taking action.

I say its time to start taking action. If you have a life...then really start LIVING it. Does your world revolve around whether or not Clark and Lana will eventually kiss on Smallville? (ok..i wanna see it...but I don't sit around waiting for it =p). Whether or not the Lakers go for 4-peat won't change the fact that you still have to finish school...or go to work the next day.

Find the things that matter to you...and do what makes you happy. The only person you have to answer to is yourself. Stop blaming other people and find solutions...instead of complaining about it.

i don't know people...no one has all the answers for life's mysteries...or even why this rant started. I think now in my more "experienced" years...I've learned more and more that "talking" about something helps...but still lacks when it is not followed by action.

All I would say is live your life...while you still have it...and make it count.

Crazy and fun weekend.


Friday - Met up with Mark, Maureen and friends at Yardhouse. Happy to learn my Sixers are advancing. =p. Headed out to a Pimps and Schoolgirls party at USC. Oh man...the memories of parties being broken up by campus police. HAHAHAHA. I think I'm gonna need to throw a theme party myself one of these days. Ended up in K-town to find something to eat. Gotta love K-town...since it never closes...and Korean girls... ^_^.

Sat - Chilled in Ventura. Watched X2, Serendipity with 3 other guys (don't ask), and 40 Days and 40 Nights. Got a lot of stuff done and just chilled with the guys. Vanilla coke it the shit yo! (damn..sound like biggwould) - (Vanilla Vodka and coke). Happy Bday Mark. Sorry for putting you on blast on Mon.

Sun - Had an anime expo (AX) meeting, that i brought a lot of issues up for discussion. Had one of the best lunches I've had in forever...playing with a Crab Claw at the Crab shack and laughing it up with my AX homies, after only 3 hours of sleep. I'll probably expand on it later...but it also included "flying" to the restroom while wearing a lobster bib as a cape. Dang..just loving life right now..and chilln.

Need to regain focus again...and actually do some work. Happy Cinco de Mayo. WOW..its may already.

Currently Listening to: The Jumpoff - Lil Kim
Mood: chiln.

wow...
thought segregation was over....


PS..
Thanks Milly for freaking me out with that link....ewwwwww
Great after having all these ghostly visions all week thanks to a stupid "The Ring" chain email. I'm not saying I believe it....but I just don't mess around with it. (PS...didn't forward the email...just started that the screen captures too long..)

Currently Listening to: I'm with you - Avril Lavigne
Mood: content

BTW...Since I listen to Shoutcast.com, the currently listening to hardly ever refers to how I'm feeling...just what I happen to be listening to at that time. Got a lil tired of the RnB link, trying the POP one now.

Crazy Friday
Here's the short and long version.

Short version: Friday sucked...mostly.

Long version: prepare for useless rant...less you really have nothing to do. =p ...or you're just that interested.

/rant/ Well...it started out Thursday night...when I went with the company to the Lakers Playoff game. You're probably thinking..."yeah it sucked cuz the Lakers lost"...but thats not really it for me. I came to watch a good game...and that it was. Personally...usually find myself as the Anti-Laker... Philly 76ers Baby ^_^. Well...parking we hell. Parked like 3 blocks from the Staples center at $10 and had to "tip" someone from the area to watch my car...after the owner left at 8pm. No pressure he says...although I'm sure he would have been the one breaking windows if I didn't say I'd tip him on the way back. I saw the other parking lots go from $10 to $15...and up to $30 before I even got in the Staples center. Game was fun...chilled with my homie from back in the days...and just caught up. Really good game...although the Lakers lost =p

So anyways, I wake up late Friday. Not usually that big an issue...but yeah. On my way to work, I call in and let them know I'm running late. In return I found out that my most important user/Boss in the office has already called and was looking for me. (anxiety level shoots up). Lets just say that pretty much everything in the office revolves around this man...and tends to want things done yesterday...if you know what I mean. So...as I hear this...I usually drop everything to help him out. Now I'm in the car...thinking/worrying...as I race to work.

Once I get there, I find out that his Sony computer that I'm about to send out for repairs still has his financial (quicken) information on it, information that he currently needs. (Back-story...this is his 3rd Sony computer that has the same recalled power-supply problem. Yes... I have sent all three back, each time it crashed.) Hours on the phone with sony...but that was a different crazy day. Anyways, in order for me to do this, I have to take the machine apart, and jimmy it to another computer. I was able to take the necessary data off and email him (12ish). He wasn't able to check it then, but said he would later that night. Being on the safe side, i suggested I hold the computer till he can verify he got it, as it would likely take a couple days for it to get back. He said, send it out today...and hopefully someone will get to it over the weekend. (not sure if Sony works weekends...but I doubt it).

So...new stress is to make sure box and computer are packed before FedEx comes by. Stress, Stress, Stress. I finish packing it...and realize its about lunch time.

( Geez...this is gonna be long. F-this...shortened version now...if u're really that bored...then u can hit me up online...but trust me...not that interesting)

I order from Denny's. Walk down to pick it up. Come back to the office to realize they gave me wrong order. Going down elevator, hit every floor...cuz i realized I left the incorrect order at the office. Went back to pick it up. Walked back to exchange, realized I left my wallet at the office. Fortunately, they just gave me my order...and didn't charge me. Ate lunch (3ish).

After a tiring/frazzled day, I went to my car, dropped off my office keys and picked up my bowling shoes. We had an company Bowling event that nite, and I was hitching a ride with my coworker. Started to walk to his place, when I get a call from my Boss saying he didn't get the quicken files he needed off the sony computer. Then i realized that I was already a good 10 minute walk from the office...and arrrrr. Yeah...that feeling.

My coworker changes for the evenings event...we drive back to the office, almost try to get into the office without my keys (fortunately my coworker had his), and I send the file. Man...whatta day. But it doesn't end there.

We attend the Bowling event at Universal Citywalk. Cool place...and mostly just hanging out. Got to sport my Simpson's Bowling shirt courtesy of my bro and sis. ^_-. My one office mate was over an hour late...but I'm glad she finally made it. Overall, that was a good time. Got top score (165), but then again...no one else in my company really bowls. Next stop was to hang with my friends at a club in Pasadena.

Yes...i keep a busy schedule. =)

So my friend and i arrive at the club, to meet up with the other 23 people in our group that have already been there. It was "okay". A click2asia event branded as professional singles event to meet other professional singles. Really not a lot going on there. What killed it that nite was when this one girl from my fraternity that I knew from Riverside, comes up and says hi. Then proceeds to talk about how she was drunk and wondered why I haven't called/talked to her in so long. Then she wants to dance. Honestly...i know this girl wants me...but I don't share the same feelings. She goes back with her group...and I danced with her a bit later on during the nite...but nothing much. So yeah...nothing of interest at the club...or anyone that I really wanted to talk to. Kinda wack honestly..but yeah.

oh yeah...the punch to the stomach.

Well…towards the end of the night, the same girl comes up again...bugging me.

PunchyGirl -"you haven't talked to me in soo long. I don't even have your email or cell phone number anymore"
Ray - "oh...thats ok...i don't have yours anymore either"

And there you have it. Right after that I got a punch to the stomach. Not too bad. I didn't reel in pain in the middle of the club or anything...hahaha...well...that would have sucked. I'd blame it on the alcohol...or unrequited interest...either way...it was just the topper for the day of hell./end rant/

Update: Boss gives me the free sony clie...for all my efforts with his computers.


Currently Listening to: Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous - Good Charlotte
Mood: cheerful.

I've come to a compromise. Rather than starting another blog for the day-2-day stuff, I'll just post those in BLUE...while the "deeper" thoughts running through my head...will remain posted in black.

So I'm sitting here...at my old elementary school...working on their network...just thinking of things...and finding the time to blog.

Ok...installing Win 98...so yeah...sitting doing nothing. =P

Was an ok weekend, think I'll have to talk about it later, since i want to get out of here. Crazy day Friday...everything that could go wrong..pretty much did. Ended up with a girl punching me in the stomach...if that gives you any idea. wasn't my fault...really =p

Oh yeah!
Ok..I was thinking of caving in and getting a Xanga as well...since these posts have become more melodramatic than trival...and wanted something to just shoot the shit. You know? well..I don't think I'll do that...hardly post to this one in the first place. Its ok. Playing with learning HTML again and will just set up a seperate section for the thoughful stuff.


One thing I am happy about though is the Return of REBLOGGER. Yes..my first comment system has returned..and now I can hear your input. (well..sorta hear ^_- ) Also thought about the chatterbox...but I'll have to see if that fits in with the redesign.


Fun Times...Fun Times...More to come later.

Changing Times...Life and APO and me

Started going through my closets today. Organizing what I want to keep and getting rid of the stuff I don't. I found out I have enough t-shirts to last me 3 months, if I changed everyday and didn't wash. Oh man...too much. And all blue, black or white. So yeah...going with this new outlook on life and just living. Cleaning up and cleaning out.

Was in pain most of last week. Remember boys and girls...always stretch before you work out. OUCH!

Saturday ended my term as Section Chair for Alpha Phi Omega. Seemed a bit anti-climatic. I had a great time in San Luis Obispo, learning how to rope an active and even line dancing (ok..sorta learned that one). There were a lot of people there...and from what I hear...my goal of having more and more interchapter stuff is coming together. I was pretty happy about that. I'm also glad that Jack was elected as the next chair. (SUCKER..if you only knew what you were getting into...HAHHAHAHAHAH)...just kidding lil bitch. He's a great guy...and I know he'll get the job done. Many a times he kept even me in check. Just gotta work on a couple things...but you always come thru. =) Best thing...HAHA…now everyone will have to learn how to spell your last name (tulatammagul ...tut tut a magg a gol…or something ^_^) I still remember when I first met him...such a dork...


guess somethings don't change =p

Hahaha...man...that actually feels good. hahah...just kidding Jack. He knows it...and I bet he'll try to call me out on his Xanga. (ps...change your song...getting annoying). But thatz been our relationship...clowning on each other…but when it comes down to it...I can count on him...and he knows I'll be there for him as well. But hey...this blog isn't about Jack...so...back to me. =)

So again...anti-climatic. I had to think about it a while...why have I been in APO so long? I've seen a lot of things...drama...fights...power struggles...friends coming...friends leaving...bitter memories...and sweet ones. I've logged God knows how many miles on my car...driving to San Francisco, Davis, Sacramento, UCLA, UCI, UC Riverside, USC, San Luis Obispo, San Diego, Arizona. Countless Sectional Conferences (Sec 1,2, 4), Regional Conventions (Oakland, San Diego), National Conventions (Arizona, Philly, New Orleans). Met countless brothers in all these chapters. I was there when UCLA and UCI rechartered. I was there when UCR "buried" their Time capsule. Pledge pinnings, Active installs, end of the year banquets. A family line that encompasses multiple schools and pages. Who knows how many APO sweatshirts I've purchased? A bag full of APO t-shirts sit in my room...a ucr pledge class t-shirt all thru Pi class (except for Omicron...no one saved one for me...and hasn't since).

Most of you are probably looking at this and saying...OMG...this guy has no life. All this for some Frat. Well...honestly...thatz pretty much been it. But there is something you have to understand. I'm in APO...because APO is me. The principles, the ideals... Leadership, Friendship, and Service. They are all things that I truly believe in. This organization has given me the opportunity to be me.

Service-Ever since I was young, my family instilled in me the "duty" of service to others. Mainly due to Asian upbringing, it was customary to make sure that you respected your elders, and do what you can for them. In school, I was a member of a Catholic youth group and we did many things along those lines to help the community. It didn't matter how I did it, but there was always a sense of giving back...for all the benefits I have received. APO was just a tool to do that.

Leadership-In this organization, I've seen many leaders come up through the ranks. Given the opportunity, many people can achieve anything...and I've seen it done...and itz amazing. I remember the quietest person in one of UCR's pledge classes become one of the most vocal actives in the chapter. I've seen people organize fundraisers that have raised $1,000+ to charitable groups. I've seen a group of actives give their time and energy to a Senior Citizens home and help them remember what life really was like.( I still remember Ruth from the senior home bringing me to her room to show me the pictures of her kids...the ones that hadn't visited her in over a year). Lots of leaders...just looking for opportunities.

Friendship-Probably the one thing that keeps me here the most..and its not just specific friendships...but all the ones I gain as I continue to be active. Fortunately, I still am able to call and talk with some of my friends that I met when I first started. I was walking across the campus of CSULB on day and actually found one of my lil sibs who I hadn't talked to in over 5 years, and we were able to pick up like nothing. In high school I was more of the nerd (surprise surprise =p) and didn't really have a lot of friends. (*Friendships- thats a topic for another day). I keep up with many of my friends thru AIM, but its odd when you think that although we've been graduated from college for over 5 years, it was this one organization that brought us together. Whatever way you look at it, I'm known throughout California thanks to the pledge test and my visits. Hundreds of people have had to learn how to spell my last name...(yes..there is no "g" in warriner.) My brother and sister are/have been members and leaders in it.

wow..and I am still going.


So..again..why so anti-climatic?

I don't know...


At the final meeting, I made my speech, thanking everyone for coming...and thanks for the 3 years as Section Chair. I showed the rush video then walked into the audience and found an empty chair in the back...all by myself. No big speech. Not sure what exactly was running through my mind...and a week long of crazy travel culminating in that one moment...and in that moment...i felt...hollow. empty. (hence the anti-climatic).


I didn't understand why...and still really don't. It did get better later, when Jack presented me with the Section 1 Distinguished Service Key, the highest honor given in the Section. I don't do this stuff for recognition, but it is nice to be honored. It was nice walking back down, seeing everyone stand up...and given a chance to say something again...to try to say thanks. I started rambling something that I had thought of once...how everyone seeks immortality...thru their children...and how I had achieved it through all of them...by them being my family. (I can see you tearing now =p). Not sure exactly how it came out…but now wondering if it made me seem arrogant. ( I told Kevin Simpson later that all the immortality talk, I may start walking on water. Honestly I did…there were a couple of rain puddles that I swiftly glided thru ^_^ ). I'd have to say my best moment for the day was when my sister came over and hugged me. Samantha has come to mean a lot to me and I am so thankful for her. She is my best friend. (*Another post, for another day).

In all my years with APO, I'd have to say my most memorable moments have been with UC Irvine, Rho Rho. I still remember the first days when I saw this group of people come together huddled on the floor of an apartment. Meeting Clint, the first person I met from the group, who continues to be there for me and invite me out to Basketball games. The cherry tying contest we had at Islands during our first socials.(sorry everyone, still can't do it...need some practice. Anyone? =p ) Kelly knocking out 8 or so in a minute. Practicing for UCR Lip Sync the first time, the stresses of leadership and organizing people, planning for sectionals, PGCPPC, doing the bylaws, etc. The joys...the tears...working...and finally getting it done.


I still remember the Banquet, probably one of the most emotional moments for me. Of all the people they could have asked, they asked me to do the keynote address. I'm usually quite composed...and would have thought out my speech a couple times before I would actually start. Oddly...I found myself overcome with emotion...so much I had to call my sister outside...so I could let it go. (yes...tears). I wasn’t sad...but I couldn't explain it. I wrote once before it was like a parent and child relationship...and they are just growing up. Not away...but just growing up. I guess the reason why I bring it up is cuz I know someone at that chapter knows me better than most.( I suspect who it is...but yeah). The reason why I say that is my most prized possession is not the Chapter DSK they awarded me, but the foam cut out of a key and the "one to grow on" chart that they gave me. On the chart, they marked all the milestones that we had all accomplished and wrote words of gratitude on it.

That is what touches me. Not awards or titles. I honestly could care less about all that stuff. Its seeing how people change...and hopefully for the better. My "awards" have been throughout my term...seeing events like that, watching people grow...and seeing what effect I may have on them...and the potential they have to achieve. Hearing Jack at CPW in SJ say that I was his role model.*tear. You (Jack) may not have thought much of it then...but thatz what moves me. People going out of their way for me, a hand quilted/decorated pillow means more to me than any expensive present. Its never been about money...much more on time and thought.


But yeah...thatz me.

I close with a couple lines from Lord Alfred Tennyson...again on the immortality thing...and moving on to new challenges.
I am a part of all that I have met;

Yet all experience is an arch wherethrough
Gleams that untravelled world, whose margin fades


Come, my friends,
'Tis not too late to seek a newer world.


Though much is taken, much abides; and though
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.
- Ulysses

Time for Myself

As I check the span of time it takes me to post to this blog, I realize more and more, that this really isn't a diary for me. Itz more of a presentation...of what I happen to feel and what I want to share. I knew I could never keep up a diary, cuz I'd feel guilty about all the days I would miss, and give up the whole idea. This journal, on the other hand, at least helps me gage what I've been doing, where I've been, what I don't want to have to repeat again and again to all my friends, but otherwise...a way to measure how much I've changed..(or maybe not changed).

Well...things have changed. I got tired. Tired of sitting around...wondering...waiting. Tired of whining ...about when will love happen...when will she appear. blah blah blah Tired...tired...tired....tired of apathy. So i decided...its time for a change.

First thing I had to do..was say ..FUCK IT. (oh...geez...he just cussed on his blog...so...unlike ray). Well...yeah...FUCK IT. If you want something to change...then you have to be willing to change...and be different from it.

I renewed my gym membership...and this time I'm actually using it. =p
I love the fact I can shoot hoops at 11pm at night. Last night it was a good 2 hours running, lifting, and finally laps in the pool. Soreness aside...but thatz all part of the plan.

The nice thing was...I had my phone with me...but didn't feel like answering. Normally, i jump every time my phone rings...but at that time...nope. It can wait. This is my time. All "emergencies"...well...they were your own. My biggest discovery of the evening was a treadmill that actually had fans on it. hella cool. (yeah...hella).

So I'm being selfish...and you know what, I think itz about time. Don't get me wrong...I do what I can to help people (hence the service fraternity...and other extra curricular activities)..but really... sometimes I just want to do my own thing...and sometimes that could actually be choosing to do NOTHING.

Time to live...and live it up. It only happens once...so experience it with all you can. Things are going great...I just need to take the time to enjoy them.


-Excelsior-

Go, go, go, go
Go, go, go shawty
It's your birthday
We gon' party like it's yo birthday
We gon' sip Bacardi like it's your birthday
And you know we don't give a fuck
It's not your birthday!
-50 Cent


Well...guess you can say its my birthday. I tend to go through these every firsts...first of the year...first of the month...but this time I'm really changing things (re-evaluations - not birthdays). I looked at myself and decided to make some changes. Still paying for a gym, decided to get back into it. Not that I was ever really into it before, but at least now one of my friends is gonna be around to spot me and keep me motivated. Cleaning out my closet...getting rid of stuff left behind…changing wardrobes...adding some color. Smarter money investments, keeping track of everything…and even went to an orthodontist for an evaluation (quite and experience). I guess one of the biggest changes is being less inhibited. Starting to say what I feel, and in some cases…just saying something. Being more proactive...getting out there and just doing things.

On the horizon...everything at work, APO, and Anime Expo is looking good. Work wise...things have settled down. Still busy with projects, but everything is manageable. On my final weeks as Section Chair for APO, oddly enough...feels like a retirement. I know I'll still be involved, but lately looking to just take more time for myself, and not worry as much. For Anime Expo, getting real excited about that. Our Kamp is HUGE and right next to the pool. I'm in pretty good with the Senior Staff there...which could play well for me in the future...as they are planning and Anime Expo in Tokyo. If selected, I could get an all expense paid trip there to help set up and supervise the event. Closing out my old credit card and bank account soon...redeeming my Bonus dollars for my Wireless G router...things are looking good (sorry...techie...had to add that in.)

ok...I'm back.

I was going to wait a bit to upload the pics before I talked about my cruise, but had some time to kill so here it is.

The cruise was beautiful. The islands were gorgeous and the weather was perfect. All in all quite fun. So lets start of at the beginning.

My flight was scheduled for 8:45am, which of course means that I should be at the airport by 7am or so. I kept everything to 2 carry-ons and set everything up the night before. Of course...I end up waking up around 7:15am and find myself racing out of the house. Arrived at airport...enough time...whew...everything cool.

The ship was to disembark at 5pm. My flight arrives at 3:40pm, was told it was only a 20 minute drive to Dock so figured I would be ok. It wasn't till I read the paperwork that said I should actually be at the ship around 3pm. Oh well...I still felt I would be ok.

I landed around 3:40pm, and finally found the cab around 4pm (Delta Airlines SUCKS. Worst Airline Ever). The driver was a bit worried about getting there in time, as there was a county fair. Then we get stuck in traffic. (4:15pm). She proceeds to tell me how she has had about 5 close calls already, getting people to the ship "just in time". I let her know I didn't want to be the 6th one and just to get me there as soon as possible. I really wasn't looking forward to spending a week in Tampa, Florida cuz I missed my ship. We take a couple side streets and are on our way. As we're driving up toward the dock, she proceeds to give me one more shock, as she notices that the ship has already started sailing. (and it was...). Fortunately, it was a different cruise ship. (whew.)

Since it was the end, ran thru the line to get my boarding pass. Got thru the metal detector as they remarked that they would be removing the gangplank soon.(double whew). And finally settled into my cabin and watched as we started to move out. Fortunately, I was able to have the cabin all to myself, as they were only a handful of people enrolled in this particular cruise.

Cruises are fun…but pretty boring alone. If you're ever looking for quality time with a person, "stuck" on a cruise ship is definitely one way to score some brownie points with a loved one. Unfortunately, I didn't have anyone to bring...and not very many “potentials” on the ship where the average age was around 70. Fortunately, I met another solo passenger on the ship named Rick. He was a friend of one of the conference planners and decided to just come along and enjoy the cruise. Really great guy, he became my dinner and cruise buddy for the duration of the trip. Not too sure if he liked being called my "dad" at each of the trips on land (sorry Rick =p), but many times along the way he acted like one to me. =). - in a good sense that is, like a confidant and listener...no...he did not send me to my room when I asked for 2 desserts with ice cream on the side...which yes i did do =p. Most of my vacation was hanging out with Rick, his friend Bernie, and two guys I met from New York (Al and Matt)

I think one of the greatest things about the cruise was the unlimited food. Menus for lunch and dinner, Breakfast sent to my room...midnite buffet and an ice cream bar.....geez...I swear they would have had to roll me off the ship.

The ports of call were interesting: Grand Cayman, Jamaica, Cozumel (Mexico). Wasn't too sure what I wanted to do at each site. Relaxed and walked thru the city in Grand Cayman, took a raft down the Martha Brae in Jamaica, and visited the Mayan ruins in Cozumel. Most of the attractions of the sites were to go scuba or snorkeling, which didn't particularly interest me, as I felt there was only a limited time at each port. Each port also seemed like a watch or jewelry store, cuz thatz all they sold. Nothing really interesting to take home, although I did get some nice ESQ watches at a good price. =)

The days at sea were occupied with classes. Actually kinda glad I had them, cuz if not I'd be hella bored. Remembered the first time I went on a cruise, my brother and I would just run rampant on the boat...hanging out in the arcade and waiting for the midnite buffet. Miss those days of just hanging out with Will. Learned about programming in ASP, even thought haven't started programming in anything really. Our guest speaker Simon Phipps was a phenomenal person from SUN. Pretty cool guy that gave open commentary on technology and its applications. Nevertheless, his presence (and subsequent popularity) boded for much controversy on a Microsoft-vendor cruise (.Net Nirvana). Really interesting to meet such prominent people in the field Simon Phipps (XML, Java), Jeff Procise (ASP), Randal Schwartz (Perl), etc.

Although I was cutting it close to get the ship, I seemed to have scheduled too much time in Florida when I got back. Arrived at 9am, but my flight didn't leave till 7pm. Rather than chance it exploring Tampa Bay, decided to just stay that the airport. Started using my primitive laptop (a spiral notepad) and tried to take care of things. Saw Hulk Hogan, the Big show, Dean Malenko and a couple others from WWF/WWE. Always found the airport interesting. Guess it because I'm a people person, but I love just watching the human interactions and people coming and going at the airport. Always dynamic...always changing. So eventually it was time to leave and come back home. All and all a relaxing trip...but it was good to come back as well.

Many things to think about...but not a lot to say. Just been keeping really busy...so I guess that keeps me from lamenting..or pondering..or just thinking.

work is settling down, as I have been really busy on a project....thankfully its pretty much done! =) I may actually have time to sit and write here in a bit..but mainly wanted to post that I will be out next week.


Remember that time last year, when I told you about winning a free cruise? well...yeah...decided to take the person up on it. Didn't really care what i was "supposedly" gonna be learning..mainly interested in where I would be going. Thankfully got a better job with the ability to take some time off, that I decided to use it now. Come on? Carribean or Mexico?? Wasn't a hard decision there. Oddly enough this will probably be my first real vacation. I'll be heading solo, flying out Sat 15 morning and returning Sat 22. wow. something non-work related, non-apo related, non-family related...and just in time to avoid all the LA rains.. HAHAHAHA. Bringing along the camera for some memories. =)


PS.
Happy Birthday to Grace (2/11) and Steve (2/13). =) Sorry if I miss anyone elses. I love bdays...but can hardly remember anyone's. =p

ok..ouch.

Standing at a public terminal in San Luis Obispo I finally find the time to blog. Yes..I know..and I've heard it...its been a while..but hey..I've been busy.

lot of things going on..keeping me pretty busy. I want to expand on it...and I say I will..but we'll have to see if it really happens. So..here's a brief recap since last post. (oh god..I start writing..and this will take forever.)

Nationals

It was a blast. Honestly.I was really hesitiant about going. Feeling a bit of the APO burn out (wow..can you believe I said that...Mr. APO himself burning out..then again..I'm up here in SLO for a APO pinning..but I digress). So..feeling the burn..and not really wanting to go. So I guess..when you aren't expecting anything..you just enjoy what you get (* a RAYism). New philosophy in life...I'll probably make a bunch of those in the future. I arrived in New Orleans after a long plane ride with Jack. Now Jack's a good guy and all...but I really think he just likes to hear himself talk (haha..take that one lil bitch). Again..I digress...so I mostly slept on the way there. When I arrived..caught up with Robert from Irvine and the touring of Bourbon street began. Pretty crazy. Imagined hordes of people lining the street with boobs and beads all over the place. I arrived on a Thursday..and not Marti Gras..so it was fairly tame. Got introduced to the "Hand Grenade"-drink, so that made it a lot better.
Thanks to Anna for getting me and Sec 1 and 2 a room..plus getting Jack a ticket to Nationals...I really appreciate all you've done for me. So..an enjoyable first day.

Most of the fun started when the San Diego chapter decided to show up the next day (Steve, Helen, Czrena, and Annie). Spent most of my time chilling with them, which was a lot of fun. Crashing workshops, touring the city, or attending the legislation, they kept everything interesting. (Room 2412 Rocks!) Really reminded me of my former UCR day when i felt the members really cared about what happens in the fraternity, as opposed to the sense of apathy I see now. Got to see a bunch of other people I had met thru APO functions and events...and overall had a really good time. (much of this is documented in Steve Lee's blog about nationals.) Met some people from the APO-PHIL delegation and developed stronger ties with them. Missing the whole cultural kinship lately. Nice to talk tagalog to someone again.Actually meeting up with a APO-PHIl brod while up here in SLO. Thinking of going back to the PI sometime soon

Region Xtreme Games in San Diego

Soo much fun packed into one weekend. Congratulations to UCSD for pulling off a region wide event and being successful at it. Everything was well organized and came off very well. I have been really proud of how the San Diego chapter runs everything. I wish the other chapters were that efficient and spirited =/. Our Green team was composed of some really great people (Lewis-captain, Steve, Fiona, Christina, Monika, Ron, Kevin-regionXdirector, and myself..sorry if i missed anyone)..and we all had a lot of fun. Lead all day Sat..somehow lost it on Sun..but fun none the less.Got to see Grace again since the last time I picked her up from the airport. Crazy flippn thru her pictures of europe. Definately need to go there someday. I also was able to see Christina, Richard, Lewis, Fiona and all the other Tau class pledges cross on Sun. Such a great chapter and great bunch of people.

(god..been here over an hour typing. Hands cramping and feet hurting..but must go on...)

VCD making and Ski Trip

Starting the new year I found myself hanging around a lot with my anime friends from Ventura. Cool bunch of guys, I decided to see what I could do to help them out with our annual VCD of the previous convention. they are teaching me a lot about Adobe Premiere..but overall just hanging out with them has been a blast. Together we went to Big Bear for a Ski trip. Decided to try Snowboarding (then again..havent been to the snow since I was like 13.). Soo much fun...I enjoyed myself a lot. Still feeling a bit of pain right now, but I think it was due to the Jackass stunts I was doing the night before we went boarding (Yeah..sledding next to the house..past a tree ..usually...and into the back of another house...ouch)..and it was all on tape. Couldn't get the idea at first..struggling on the bunny slopes.. Took a ride down the Miracle mile..and started praying for it to end at times...but at the end of the night...I went back to carving the slopes (bunny again)...with no problems. Definately want to go back again.=)

Well..I think that is enough for now...(that is if ur still reading this...)..
Gonna go back to chilln on campus...or at least sitting somewhere